Vlad claims to be in Belgium: This could be fun!

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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 5:22 pm

I just posted a (boring) profile on www.antheaclub.com and www.mybelovednet.com and I already have 3 nibbles in less than a day! Shocked

The first was a blonde vlad from Belgium (yeah, right! Rolling Eyes

) with the face of an angel. Sent me a letter 24 minutes after my profile was approved. Poor thing… even with "her" incredible beauty, still single and childless at 27, and so desperate that she's willing to settle for a man up to age 77. So sad I almost cried. crying

Being a charitable soul (it had nothing to do with the fact that "she" has by far the hottest pic, I swear! Mr. Green

), I decided to write to her first and leave the 2 others on standby. Don't want them all to finish their scripts at the same time.

OK, so since Boris claims to be in Belgium, he speaks French right? Well so do I, but very badly, unfortunately. Wink

And I write phonetically, so trying to feed my near gibberish into translation software will not work. But someone who actually speaks French would at least get the general drift of what I'm trying to say. And "she" should appreciate the fact that I'm at least trying to communicate in "her" language.

Here's my opening move in massacred French:

Quote:

Bonjoor 3katerina.

Je pa parlae bocoo French me eseyae mon mieu. Je conne pa Belgium, me pre a France, wee? France bo payee. Voo emae veevr dan Belgium? Voo alae sometimes a Paris? Wee, je emae etr amee avek voo. Voo bocoo bell fiy. Je aetonae ke voo jame marriyae ae pa avoowar enfan. Etr trist. Poorkwa hom French pa emae voo? Je aetonae! Je avoowar daeja 2 bells fiys, me pa marriyae now. Je divorsae. Wee, je emae bocoo avoowar amoor for, soortoo avek tre bell fiy com voo. Aekrir enkor a je please, etr bocoo plesir. Parlae about voo please. Ae see voo avoowar enkor photo, je emae bocoo.

Mersee,
Clueless.

Jerome should get a kick out of this. Very Happy

I'm already dreaming of a safari… how about meeting in romantic Paris? It's less than 200 km from where Boris claims to be. 2 hours by train, and "she's" there. I'd be travelling about 20,000 km to meet "her", from where I'm claiming to be (Australia). Well, it's only fair that I'm doing most of the work… after all, I am a gentleman. Razz

Not quite a Newb Joined: 19 Oct 2008 Posts: 22

If he's in northern Belguim he'll speak Flamon a dutch dialict

Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 11:08 pm

Yup! But "she" claims to be in a small town just outside Brussels, which I think is mostly French-speaking. Though after re-reading what I sent, maybe my poor vlad will think it is Flemish. Razz

Anyway, all this is moot, as I'm sure Boris is nowhere near Belgium. So now he's going to be stuck… either I'll try and pin "her" down there, or Boris will have to admit lying in his profile. Smile

Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 2:24 am

He's trying it on... It's all about control, and at the moment making you write in French, Dutch, or whatever else gives him control.

So just stay on script, and continue to write in good old english, He'll get the message and come to heal, sooner rather then later, and you can find a el-cheapo translation program to work out what he's on about.

Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 11:35 am

No, you misinterpreted my verbose post. Wink

I'm the one who decided to write to him in French, since he claims to be in Belgium (which I'm sure is a lie). I actually speak French fluently (but not Flemish Very Happy

), so I could have written to him in good French if I'd wanted to. If he speaks French (which I'm sure he doesn't), he could make sense out of my crazy letter. But translation software like Babelfish will choke on it because it's so badly written (on purpose).

Just an experiment to see how Igor reacts, and maybe get him off script from the start.

3 more vlads have contacted my redneck "Aussie" this morning. That should amuse you. Smile

I actually lived in Australia, but it was a long time ago, so I'm a little rusty on the local jargon. But I think my act is still good enough to convince a vlad, who likely has no idea how Australians talk. So I'm now up to 6. One of them claims to be in Canada! Laughing

He thinks I'm in Australia, so feels safe being "so far away from me". Big mistake! I'm going to have fun with that one. Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 6:13 am

If use's need any elp, with locations or langauge, mucker, just give a coo'ee, and we'll give you a [h] and no fu*k'in worry's blue, she'll be bonza

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