The great charity scam *dolla chops aplenty*

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Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 5:26 pm

Suz@nn@ wrote:

Dear Mr. Nkwerre,

Thank you. I have all the signatures. We can send the money. However, we have been advised not to send money through Western Union to Nigeria. There appears to be some problems there with theft, one of our committee members saw something about it on television. We have also been contacted by someone calling himself "Be//llo Af//olabi", asking us to send him the money. Winston says he is not from your organization, and we are a bit concerned.

We can make a bank to bank transfer, or we can send it in a cheque, via courier, depending on which method you prefer, but we can't do Western Union. Please indicate your preference and we will start working on that right away.

Are you in Darfur? That area is so dangerous. You really are so brave to work there.

Have you made the poster for XXXX? This is someone who can bankroll your organization for many years if he likes what you are doing.=, and has said he would lie to fund part of the orphanage. I saw the poster you made for XXX, very nice! She has decided to donate an additional $5000, so right now we have $56,800. You made an old lady laugh, which is a real feat! She has been so serious since her husband passed away. Good for you!

Anyway, please try to send the poster for XXX soon. You told me it would be here today! And please tell me how to send the money, and we can do that quickly.

Incidentally, we bought some new computers for the church and now have a few laptops we don't need. Could your group use them? They are Dells, with 13.3 inch screens, 4megs of ram, 320 gig hard drives, and webcams. We have four of them, but I think one is going to the mission in Guatemala. Do you want the other three? I can ask Connie if you want. I am sure she will let you have them, but I need to hear quickly, before she gives them to someone else.

Please try to get back to me today. We managed to get everyone together to sign the invoices for the funds we are sending, and have it. The 51,800 is in one cheque, and the $5000 from XXXX is in another.

Winston should be back Friday if we can't figure this out today, or will be back Monday.

Cordially,

Suz@nn@

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 10:05 pm

I thought it only fair to clear up the payment confusion with Dan, so my baiting character wrote to him:

Quote:

Dear Nkwerre,

Everybody here at the foundation is a bit disturbed by some remarks you have been making about Reverend Doctor Bello Afolabi.

As Projects Manager for Sacred Heart, I can tell you that these comments do not help matters. Doctor Afolabi has assured us that in fact your position with the foundation is not senior enough to be accepting money, and that all money should go through Doctor Afolabi.

You should have told us this before. Luckily, the funds have been going to Doctor Afolabi, the proper financial officer. You should not be making yourself out to be bigger than you are, the LORD will always find you out.

I tell you this, and I shall be telling all the other members here at Sacred Heart, that money is to be sent ONLY to Doctor Afolabi, and not to you.

Remember to be humble while doing the LORD's work.

Yours in Chris,

Bradford.

So, Sacred Heart members, that's the official line -- all dolls -- I mean dollars, to go to Afolabi not Nkwerre....

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 10:15 pm

Has anyone heard from this guy in the last 12 hours? He is usually so prompt...

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 10:17 pm

Looks like he's gone from wetting himself to shitting himself Laughing

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 10:51 pm

The good reverend will contact him when my computer is up and running again. I'm sure he'll get everything straightened out. By straightened out, I really mean a whole new level of insanity.

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:04 pm

He must be worried, he just left a message on my K7 number.

He didnt say much, just asked me to call him. I'm not set up with an anonymous sim card and I dont think I'm personally ready to be locking verbal wits, putting on an accent and remembering the storyline yet. Is there anybody on the board here that likes ringing lads and can do so in a way that keeps the bait alive?

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:18 pm

He just sent out two emails to the list of email addresses that look suspiciously like a group of baiters. (Could it be that he doesn't have a single real victim on the hook). He is trying desperately to keep us from sending any more cash to that awful B3ll0 guy. He even included copies of B3ll0's emails (bound to be shocking to the old ladies). That B3ll0 guy sure has a potty mouth.

My kids thought I was having a seisure rolling around on the floor. This is just TOO funny. I don't feel sorry for him at all. Kudos to everyone!!

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:31 pm

i have this feeling, bluebaiter, that our guy isn't actually going to notice what your accent is... i'm going to ring him later this morning - should be around 3 or 4am for him Laughing

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:40 pm

OMG, this is priceless, Dan has finally cracked. Very Happy

he has sent me 4 e-mails, his spelling getting worse each time. This is the best one (copied openly to most of Sacred Heart)

Quote:

Subject: afolabi is evil man, everybody is sobbered in the foundation

Dear,

All of us here in the foundation is still not beleiving what is going, as this afolabi came from no where and grabed the foundation's money, ate it and still brag on it.

with this experience now, i can now tell why you people call the africans cheats,scammers and all sorts of nagative names, these people are afolabi's type.

is them that pain the immage of our dear Africa black, GOD have mercy on us how on earth could this hapen to your foundation.

OUR GOD is in control he will feed his people in all these waring countries of Africa JESUS NAME AMEN

Please still send your money to the foundation.

Thanks
Dan Nkwerre

Ignoring the breathtaking hypocrisy and tearful entreaties, I suggest we ask him this:

If Afolabi is cheating, why did Dan say 'Thankyou, I have received the money' during the first round of 'donations'?

EDIT: E-mail No 5 just in....he's really working hard today Twisted Evil

Quote:

the government here is not helping us,they are making things difficult for the foundation in the sence that they close and luquidate our accounts,

.

to Alan.

Let's try to push the line that if he really doubts Afolabi's bonifieds, then surely bank-to-bank would be safer than WU..

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:47 pm

Yes he is on the edge

Quote:

the government here is not helping us ,they are making things difficult for the foundation in the sence that they close and luquidate our accounts, even we are not happy using this western union but there is nothing we can do about it now as we were told by our bank. the government close our accounts because they dont want us to expose the evil works they are doing here in Africa.

I wonder if it would be worthwhile to pack all the cash into a couple of grocery bags and hand carry them to the foundation. Doesn't the S4cr3d H34rt church run an orphanage in Ivory Coast? D4n could go and pick up the money.

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:53 pm

Mugu wrote:

All of us here in the foundation is still not beleiving what is going, as this afolabi came from no where and grabed the foundation's money, ate it and still brag on it.

Well, he should be full, now!

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:53 pm

I scolded Dan for his in-and-out running.

Quote:

Dear Dan,

I don't understand.

When I sent you the $4,000 last week, you said you had picked it up and thanked me for the money. Now what are you saying? Are you saying you don't have it?

Dan, the LORD doesn't like liars, and it seems to me you have some explaining to do. Did you receive the money? If not, why did you say you did? If you did, why are you now saying bad things about Reverend Doctor Bello?

You must open your heart to the LORD, Dan, or no good will come to you in this life.

Now, pull yourself together and tell me exactly what is happening.

Bradford.

^
larry

Yes, I think it could be safari time. What does the rest of Sacred Heart think? Laughing

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:55 pm

Sorry guys, I've just realised that the K7 phone message was from a different Lad.

Perhaps the money can be packaged up with the H0t B33f Serum for the injection program. Should make them desperate for the shipment to go ahead and I have a feeling that the research council might be a little hesitant this time around and need a lot of convincing!! Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:58 pm

A face to face meeting might be the best way. Doesn't the Pastor's brother run the Orphanage?

How much money do you think it will take to get him moving?

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:58 pm

Oh my oh my. First I come home to find my computer is up and running again, then I find out his accounts have been closed. Oh happy day, for me anyhow. Laughing

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:58 pm

He says he is in Sudan, but we know he is in Port Harcourt (%86 chance), so lets tell him we want to meet him in Chad, Ndjema, which is across the border from northern Nigeria. We are all much too terrified to meet him in Sudan!

I have been working towards sending a cheque, with three laptops (one broken), via PD. This will make him give us a Nigerian location. I have twice had lads go to Benin to pick up a package, but maybe Cameroon is better? or Chad... I suspect any package will be rerouted to the wrong destination, and someone will have to go pick it up.....

Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:59 pm

A safari is going to be doubly difficult for Dan, since he lives in Port Harcourt, which is way out east in the boonies.

It'll take him a day to get to Lagos for starters. perhaps we should just try to get him over the border into Cotonou, Benin.

There is particularly rough surf on the beaches there in which we can drown our courier when the time comes. Laughing

EDIT: Sorry, I forgot he said he was in Sudan. Belay the above.

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 12:02 am

What we can do is ask him where the "Head Office" is, which gives him a way to say "Port harcourt" without losing face.

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 12:02 am

N'Djamena sounds like a lovely place. I'd like to send him to a far worse place but right now, I think this moron will do anything to get away from the horrible dollar chopper that is in his midst. I'd suggest insinuating even more that the person who is taking his money is someone he knows well. We just need to push him a little closer to the edge of insanity, then the good Rev3rend R0b3rtson can come meet him with a suitcase full of cash.

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 12:06 am

I am hoping the lure of the cheques and the laptops will make this guy travel, so have been sowing the seed...

Quote:

betencourt <suzanXXXXm> wrote:

> From: suXXXurt <suXXXm>
> Subject: Laptops
> To: conXXXXom
> Date: Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 6:36 PM
> Dear Connie,
> I have been writing with Mr. Nkwerre, who is on charge f
> that project in
> Sudan we were talking about, and was reminded of those
> laptops? I wanted to
> talk to you before anymore are given away. Do you still
> have three of them?
> If so, I would like to ask if we can send them to Mr.
> Nkwerre. His email is
> <[email protected]>.
>
> Please write to him about that, and carbon copy me, okay?
> We have that money
> to send to him, and, as you suggested, we won't be
> using Western Union.
> Maybe we can put it all into one package?
>
> Thank you!
>
> SuXXnna

To which "Connie" replied, cc'd to our frantic mugu:

Quote:

Hello Suzanna and Mr. Nkwerre,

I am sorry. I only have two laptops left, plus another one which is broken (bad logic board), but might be useful for parts. I would love to donate them to Mr. Nkwerres organization, of he can use them.

Mr. Nkwerre, would you be interested in the laptops? I don't know how we could get them to Sudan, but we can think of something.

Please get back to me regarding wether or not you would like them.

Suzanna, are you coming to the picnic at the gymnasium this weekend? I have tickets left for the raffle, if you want any.

Best wishes to you both,

Connie

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 12:08 am

oh dear. i had just sent my WU receipt to Af0labi too, he seemed like such a nice man. a cool $10k, gone like that.

maybe you can send that dolla chop message for me now Wright. PM sent!

Quote:

Dear Dan,

My good friend Mr Afol4bi has just called me - he explained how you are not as senior as him and that is why I should be sending the money to him, you are not authorized to handle monetary transactions.

It is OK for you to admit that you are not a senior man in the organization - I don't mind!

I have attached the receipt that I have sent to Mr Af0labi - I trust your organization will spend the money wisely.

yours
John

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 12:23 am

The ladies have asked for three items of identification. No money is moving thout those three things. they would be very happy to give the money over to the pastor, especially since they are continuing to fund raise.....

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 12:29 am

I must have overplayed my hand a little .. he dropped me like a rock. Rinsing and repeating now. It's time for him to step out of his little world and get a few miles under his belt.

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 12:36 am

Afolabi chopped John (JumpingJayJay) miserable $10K, and apprised Dan of this fact.

Quote:

How far fool?

Now I need u dey help me. Fo now I buy Mercedes smae dey size like
Andy Uba but I nt sure for colour. Now too bad 4 u I chop the maga
Jonaton Creek but only dey small moeny is $10,000 dolls may be buy new
cloth for my girl.

Evry day u help me, so I dey help u remind U bi the Greatest Fool on
earth. A fool at such of sucvh age everyday u go sit for system dey do
rubbish u think say na so u go take progress? Sit down well reason ur
useless time wey u dey waste take dey sned rubbish to people. I just
dey laugh u cos u never realise you mistake. u dey write rubbish dey
smed to people u nor go ever collect cos people like nor dey collect
cos time wey u go take work u dey sue send rubbish.

Foooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool.

I am BELLO.

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 12:36 am

i think he's crying Wink

i got a reply straightaway - this guy is insane, it's what time in accra? midnight? maybe he's having trouble sleeping!

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