A New TWAT- A Safari to Goma, DRC?

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Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:13 pm

Well, we might have another wicked safari on our hands. Prof and YW have pretty much been sitting on their lazy arses doing nothing as I do all the work. Par for the course I suppose. But, another baiter has entered the mix. Slightly Out of It BEGGED us to help him do a proper bait. He said that his one lone safari was so lonely and he needed a real one. So, after he admited that we were his Ogas, he joined up. Actually, we just were tired of getting 10 emails a day begging us to show him how to bait.

Anyway, our new TWAT is named Erick. He is a delightful fellow. He is a journalist in Accra, Ghana. He is so eager to be a TWAT that he is willing to go to Goma, Democratic Republic of the Congo. Supposedly, there is a Boma, DRC as well, which could be VERY confusing. And, there is also another country called the Republic of the Congo, which might cause problems for poor old Ben Dover as well. Rumour has it, the DRC has a little fighting going on right now.

Anyway, here is a letter I received this morning...

Quote:

Dear Reverend Benjamin Dover
Director of Membership,
kindly find attached pictures of the above subject. I apologize the undue dealy I have caused in respect to sending these important requirements.
I hope you are fine including all the members of TWAT. Thank you.
I have check and confirmed with Etheopian and Kenya Airline.
The ticket fare minimum for 1 month with the Etheopian Airways is $960.00 whiles the Kenya Airways is $890.00.
Thank you for everything.
Erick

So, you probably want to know a little about the guy. Well, here he is...

Here are his forms:

http://members.419eater.com/~jojobean/Erick/Froms/Picture005.jpg
http://members.419eater.com/~jojobean/Erick/Froms/Picture006.jpg
http://members.419eater.com/~jojobean/Erick/Froms/Picture007.jpg
http://members.419eater.com/~jojobean/Erick/Froms/Picture008.jpg
http://members.419eater.com/~jojobean/Erick/Froms/Picture009.jpg

Here is a great chat I had with him.

Quote:

me: Brother Erick
How are you
This is Revernd Benjamin

Erick: hello

me: I just received your pictures

Erick: Reverend, Good evening Ghana time

me: Good afternoon US time

Erick: I am just trying to send the forms
I hope everybody is fine

me: Excellent

Erick: especially members

me: Everyone is well
I received your pictures

Erick: Thank you, Reverend for your good greetings.

me: But I have not yet received any forms

Erick: i am just experiencing some slight breakages with my internet

me: Okay
Do you have a personal computer?
Or do you use a cafe?

Erick: yes

me: Yes, you have a personal computer?

Erick: personal computer and internet
access

me: Excellent

Erick: good

me: You are very fortunate

Erick: ok.

me: As I understand, that is not common in Africa
You are at your home now?

Erick: you are right, Reverend.
Africa is sometimes so interesting

me: So, you have your own home?
Do you own it, or rent?

Erick: rent

me: Okay
Just curious

Erick: ok

me: Are there any questions you have about church membership
I am here to answer them for you

Erick: ok.
i was asking if apart from the establishment of the church i could do something for TWAT
Anyway, I think everything is fine

me: I think you will do very well
I have spoken to many of the church members here about you

Erick: Reverend, how many days does it take for the ordain and likely which country?

me: Reverend Phystme, who is the main Reverend, is thrilled about your joining the church
It does not take many days

Erick: am a ghanaian and currently resides in the captal city, greater accra

me: This is how the process works
You will travel to meet one of our missionaries

Erick: thank you
my special greetings to him,ok.

me: I will

Erick: which of the countries?

me: Currently, we have missionaries/bishops in Congo, Ethiopia, Somalia, Burundi and Madagascar
You will meet with one of these bishops
They will bless you and tell you what you must do to be a successful TWAT

Erick: ok.

me: They will provide you with the money you need to start your branch
This is usually $200,000
It might be more, depending on your need

Erick: any measures for my premium security?
ok.

me: Yes
We will provide for you a safe trip back to your country
We have a TWAT plane that will take you home

Erick: Thank you.

me: So, when you go on your holy journey, you will only need to get a one way ticket

Erick: Do I have to travel alone?

me: No
Feel free to bring as many of your friends along with you as you like

Erick: ok.

me: When you travel, you really only need to bring one bag

Erick: ok.

me: We will provide clothing and food and everything while you are there
Your only real concern is getting there
Which location do you think would be best for you?
Also, we do have a missionary in Al Fashir as well
That is in Sudan
Are you there Erick?

Erick: please yes

me: okay
Which country would you be traveling to
You don't have to decide just yet
But I would like to get you in contact with the missionary as soon as possible
Some of these guys are in remote places
And we will need to work logistics

Erick: I think that will be very good
I thought the African countries would have include Nigeria

me: No
Well, we have a branch there

Erick: OK.

me: But they are not able to do the ordination
Only a high ranking bishop can

Erick: I see.
What basically goes in the ordination?

me: You will simply sit down and talk with the bishop
You will tell him your goals
What you want to do with the TWAT
How you are going to handle and spread the TWAT

Erick: Ok.

me: It's very simple

Erick: Thank you.

me: Usually, there are more procedures that we make people go through
But we have a very good feeling about you

Erick: Thank you Reverend

me: So, we are going to shorten your process
I must ask, to which country would you prefer to travel?
Congo?

Erick: I am very sure I can work for your managements maximum satisfaction
The shortest among the list from Accra

me: That is probably the Congo
That would be the easiest for you I believe
Is that acceptable?
Are you there my brother?

Erick: I am very sorry, Reverend.

me: No problem my friend
I am a very patient man

Erick: Thank you.
I had to change my computer since the previous was holding up

me: Okay
You have multiple computers at your house?
Very impressive

Erick: I will find out among the countries which is comes the nearest
I a laptop and desktop

me: Okay

Erick: Thank you

me: I am quite confident that Congo is the closest to you

Erick: Ok.

me: How soon can you make it there?

Erick: I am very concern about my security

me: I mean, how much preparation time will you need
Brother, worry not about your security
Trust in us

Erick: I will find out from one of the Airlines here
Within a week

me: Okay
Excellent
Remember, you will only need a one way ticket
We want to provide you with a ride back to your country

Erick: Ok.

me: That way, you are not carrying $200,000 on a commercial jet

Erick: Thank you, Reverend.

me: Do you have a digital camera?

Erick: So how do I transport the cash to my account here in Ghana
Yes. I have brand new Sony Digital camera
For my business

me: You will be traveling in the TWAT plane
You will be given a briefcase
It will have the cash in there

Erick: Ok.

me: You would be surprised how small $200,000 is
In fact, we may use British Sterling rather than USD, since the exchange is nearly 2:1
You will need to bring your digital camera along with you

Erick: Reverend, that kind of cash is huge here

me: We will want pictures of you and the bishop
I understand that kind of money is huge

Erick: Ok.

me: But there is no problem

Erick: ofcourse

me: You will be escorted
In a private jet
Plus, if you need additional security to go to the bank, we will provide that

Erick: OK. I WILL COME WITH THE DIGITAL CAMERA

me: Excellent
This is important
We will need pictures
Of you and the bishop

Erick: OK.

me: Any other questions?

Erick: SO I WILL TRAVEL BACK TO ACCRA WITH THE TWAT PLANE?

me: Yes

Erick: OK.

me: Again, travel lightly

Erick: THERE IS A SLIGHT PROBLEM WITH THE FORMS.

me: what is it?

Erick: MY SECRETARY EXCELLENTLY SCANNED THE FILLED FORMS BUT PLACED THEM IN A ZIPPED FOLDER

me: yes

Erick: I AM CURRENTLY FINDING IT DIFFICULT OPENING
PLEASE EXPECT THEM IN THE NEXT FEW HOURS
I HOPE THAT WILL BE FINE

me: That is fine brother
Again, I am patient
So, you believe that by next week you might get to the Congo?
How many people might you be bringing with you?

Erick: I BELIEVE SO, REVEREND

me: Excellent
How many people are going with you?
And what relation are they to you

Erick: MAYBE, A COLLEAGUE MEMBER FROM THE GHANA JOURNALIST ASSOCIATION

me: Excellent

Erick: SO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE ARRIVE BACK IN ACCRA?

me: You will be sent help to start your church

Erick: OK.

me: We will typically send a missionary team with you for a few weeks
It depends what you need
We never leave you hurting my friend
Remember that
You will always be taken care of
There will be hundreds of people who watch your every move
Making sure you are doing well

Erick: YES

me: We cannot let our sheep fall to the wolves can we?

Erick: THANK YOU REVEREND
am most grateful

me: Brother Phystme just stuck his head in and said hello

Erick: say hello to him and my warm thanks

me: HELLO ERICK
THIS IS REV WILLIAM
HOW ARE YOU?
I AM SITTING AT BEN'S DESK NOW

Erick: HELLO REVEREND
I HOPE YOU ARE DOING VERY WELL

me: I AM
I WANTED TO SAY HELLO
I WANT TO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR EFFORTS

Erick: THANK YOU

me: WE ARE EXCITED ABOUT YOU
THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN WAITING

Erick: I AM VERY HAPPY TO BECOMING A GOOD MEMBER OF YOUR REPUTABLE CHURCH
THANK YOU.

me: THANK YOU
WE ARE GLAD TO HAVE YOU

Erick: I WILL DO MY BEST

me: I WILL LET YOU AND BEN GET BACK TO BUSINESS
BEN DOESN'T LIKE TO WASTE TIME
HE TELLS ME YOU ARE READY
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT BROTHER
BE FOREVER BLESSED

Erick: THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, REVEREND.

me: Ben here
Okay

Erick: OK.

me: So, do you have any other questions

Erick: I COULD SEE YOU ARE ALL DOING THE BEST SERVICE FOR MANKIND.
FEW DAYS FOR OUR ELECTION SO AM SERIOUS IN THE MEDIA
THAT IS FINE FOR NOW.
THANK YOU.

me: Also, there is one other thing
This is sort of a tradition
When you make your journey, you must bring three things with you
This is an old tradition that predates me, that's for sure

Erick: yes

me: They are small, but important things
You must bring, from Accra
An banana, a fish and a egg
You will need to photograph them before you leave
send us a pic
before you leave
You are to keep these in your bag at all times

Erick: ok.

me: You will present the bishop with your gifts
Again, it is a ritual that the bishop will explain

Erick: ok.
religious spiritual ?

me: Yes

Erick: ok.

me: He will explain it when you meet
Do you have any other questions?
I will write up a list of things you need to do

Erick: I am very fine with every discussion here Reverend Benjamin

me: Excellent
Then there shall be no problem
I truly believe you are going to be most excellent
Your journey will provide to be fruitful
*prove to be fruitful
Please check on tickets tomorrow to the Congo
It is important that we get this done now

Erick: ok.
I will do that

me: Thank you
Also, get me the forms as quickly as you can
Erick
Can you go ahead and buy the fish, get the egg and the banana?
Take pictures and send them to me

Erick: ok. i will do that this night.
thank you

me: Thank you
It will all make sense when the bishop explains to you
It might seem strange up front
But, there and many mysteries of the world

Erick: thank you.
Reverend

me: I have no doubt you will exceed our wildest expectations
Yes

Erick: Of course

me: Will you be online tomorrow for further chat?

Erick: yes
the same time

me: Can you meet me earlier?
Let's say, around 4:00 Ghana time?
I am normally out of the office by now

Erick: yes

me: But, by tomorrow, I would have to have read your forms and have a picture of the fish, the banana and the egg

Erick: how many?

me: 1 of each

Erick: Thank you.
I am most grateful

me: We are humbled that you are working with us
I am very excited
I must be getting home now
Please send those things immediately
I hope to have them in my office by tomorrow
The fish must be a large fish
Make him no smaller than 18 inches, from head to tail

Erick: ok.
I will do that

me: Okay
Have a good night my friend
I look forward to seeing your forms, fish, egg and banana in the morning
Good night my friend

Ah, the tradition of the Banana, Fish and the Egg. This is a new tradition, the BFE tradition (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=BFE). It symbolizes safaris. This was suggested by someone during the Chad bait. That the lad should be required to take something that will inevitably grow foul. And something that will also be VERY hard to carry, like an egg. Imagine traveling with that. Hahahahaha!

http://members.419eater.com/~jojobean/Erick/0003.jpg
http://members.419eater.com/~jojobean/Erick/0004.jpg
http://members.419eater.com/~jojobean/Erick/005.jpg

The fish makes me think of him. Really lanky.

We are having some visa issues now, but hopefully all will be resolved soon.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Good stuff!

What is it with the lads and their shoes?? Laughing

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:43 pm

Was this guy a scammer or is he a journalist?

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:25 pm

Uh, your lad's boots totally DO NOT work with that suit he's got on.... But I'm sure they'll serve him well on his new adventure! Laughing

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:27 pm

Yep, I agree... I think he should invest in a set of walking boots!

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:09 pm

Quote:

Was this guy a scammer or is he a journalist?

Believe it or not, these lads don't always tell the truth. I know, I know, you're head is starting to spin in disbelief, but there aren't 20k Princes in Nigeria either.

We love his outfit. We want him to wear that on his trip. The before and after pics should be hilarious. Can't you see that suit just tattered and torn?

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:18 pm

So what your saying is you don't know if he is a lad or a journalist.

It doesn't matter because lads lie?

This question is not an ethics debate or a lad hugging expedition.

I get the impression you don't even care as long as you send him on an expedition.

Please tell me I am wrong.

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:20 pm

Yes, you're wrong. The very idea that you would think we haven't completely sussed this situation out is pathetic.

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:36 pm

That is why I asked the question in the first place and the answer I got was "lads lie".

The first post claims he is a journalist. It doesn't say he is a lad.

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:40 pm

We deliver the stories as told to us from the lads, as it makes for better reading. You can rest assured that we always verify we are dealing with scammers. What annoys me is that you would even think that we're just out to send any old person on a safari. We might be dicks, but we're not THAT bad.

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:43 pm

This is true. The evil deeds of the elders are always aimed at someone they have determined beyond a shadow of a doubt to be a scammer.

419Eater is my life Joined: 20 Oct 2008 Posts: 280

Wow, he's taking this bait like a fish takes a worm. How did you get him indoctrinated so well?

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 12:07 am

Well I don't know you any more than I know him. I would like to be part of this group however I want to know for myself that there are some checks and balances in place to make sure we are dealing specifically with lads.

I think I have the right to ask to ensure that I myself am associated with a group that holds at least the same level of morals I do. By all appearances besides just taking your word for it, it would appear that he may just be a journalist!

He claims to have two computers in his home(rare)
One is a laptop (even more rare)
and a new digital camera he uses for work! (again rare)

By those appearances he didn't sound like a lad. As only those employed would be able to afford those type of items unless he is an Oga of sorts.

So before I go giving high 5's for a job well done I wanted to be satisfied that he is infact a lad.

I certainly don't mean to offend.

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 12:12 am

Well, all I can say is that this isn't fucking amateur hour. He very well might be a journalist but we don't care. Even if he is, he is also both a certified scammer, and a snappy dresser.

I suppose when jojobean created the OP, he probably didn't think to explicitly state that we are dealing with a scammer. This is probably due to the fact that we're scambaiters, on a baiting site, posting about a bait. I'd imagine that he assumed the context allowed for a logical inference of that fact.

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 12:15 am

@ parrot
I think you don´t need to worry with baiters in this respect Smile

This very issue is not being brought up the first time now, and I think, as most TWATs, he was ASEMed having already been listed on a big 419er email list as a scammer, or he replied an ASEM of yours. In this case, you can email him from another baiting account and let him continue his script.
In his RL he might be a part-time scammer...but is a part-time criminal a better criminal than a full-time criminal? Is a student, who is a scammer, not a scammer? He might be a journalist but he is a scammer. Otherwise no one would bother with him here. Smile

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 12:28 am

Listen, if he is a scammer then I say go get em! I am new here. I have read the ethics debates then some. I may not be hardened to all this yet being new. That is probably why I needed to ask.

But asked and answered.

Thanks!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 70

LOL .... Jojo imagine sending him to Ndjamena to the Miracle boyz..... and him telling Miracle that he has been sent to deliver 3 items.... only to produce a rotten banana a fish and an egg......God I cant stop giggling at the thought Very Happy

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 1:44 am

I love that idea!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 70

PS: One more thing... jojo do not forget to instruct him that these 3 items must not be replaced i.e if he cracks the egg he cant buy another one.

Perhaps he should carry the fish in his trouser pocket. The banana in his inner coat pocket and the egg in his bag. Very Happy

God this is going to be funny

Also perhaps he should give the items names and talk and pray to them at night.... The fish should be called Larry... Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 04 Jun 2008 Posts: 74

Pulls up a chair, orders some new splutter-proof keyboards & monitors, and tells my PA to put 'busy' in my diary for the next three months at least.

Drums fingers.......c'mon, what's happening?.......drums fingers

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 12:15 pm

I most certainly did not beg to get involved with this shite.

I got into it because the 3 dumb assholes involved were going to send him to the wrong Congo. I had to spend many hours explaining to them that there is a Republic of Congo and a Democratic Republic of Congo and that this lad needs to go to the latter.
They were unaware of this and were merely going to send the lad on a luxury holiday to the Republic before I pointed out what geographical tards they are.

Wether this lad will get as far as Goma is a big question as the rebels seem to be getting further into the DRC on a daily basis and are threatening to take the town. The plan is to get him as far East and as near to Lake Kivu as possilbe (once he gets to Kinshasa).

Parrot. Yes this guy is totally innocent. We bait innocent people and send them into war-zones every day. Next week we're working on sending a kindergarden teacher to Afghanistan.

^^ Maybe you can read a bit of sarcasm into that? Wink

Rest assured he's a lad. And a bastard at that.

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 12:19 pm

Good to see we have a new star on the show! His talents as a journalist will allow him to give us detailed and comprehensive reports on his adventures...

I'm sure the T.W.A.T. will give him all the relevant instructions before he leaves (Run Left, stay clear of The Hand/Leg etc)

Well, lets hope he will enjoy his trip (I know we will! Very Happy

) At least there is a few interesting countries for him to pass. Did he say how he intends to travel (public transport of a car/driver?) I guess the number of direct flights to Goma is limited these days...

I guess there's no point in sending him to N'djamena as the Micracle boyz will only have a bad influence on him, most likely reqruiting him as a new member of their scamming-division...
If he wants a de-tour, Abeche is only 1000 miles north of Goma, and I've heard its lovely this time of year... (compared to Goma that is...)

Again, great work!

419Eater is my life Joined: 25 Aug 2006 Posts: 403

I Understand that the city of Mogadishu in Somalia is lovely this time of year.... Perhaps a pilgrimage to the Italian Cathedral as a side track...

Possibly erecting a TW4T near it's crumbled walls....

"From the ashes of the past come our dreams for the future.....:

Not to mention a little automatic weapons fire........

Simon

Edit: Cause I cant friggin spell today

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 12:27 pm

A little bit of backgound on the hell-hole that is the DRC.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/country_profiles/1076399.stm

http://www.lonelyplanet.com/worldguide/democratic-republic-of-congo/

And UK Foreign Office Travel advice:

Quote:

We advise against all travel to eastern and north eastern DRC. This includes entering eastern DRC from Uganda or Rwanda (some gorilla-trekking operators in these countries cross into DRC). The only exception to this is within the town of Bukavu, including entering it from Rwanda, where we advise against all but essential travel. Since late August 2007 there have been clashes involving the Congolese armed forces and rebel groups. There has been an upsurge in violence since October 2008, with rebels occupying Virunga National Park and widespread fighting occurring to the north of the town of Goma. International organisations operating in the region, including the UN, have evacuated staff. A local ceasefire has been declared but the situation remains volatile and can change at any time.

We advise against all but essential travel to the rest of DRC because of continuing tension and insecurity. This can mean that the DRC’s borders with Rwanda and Burundi close at short notice. You should consult the British Embassies in Kinshasa and Kigali if in doubt.
You should be aware of the increased likelihood of political demonstrations following the arrest of the political leader Jean-Pierre Bemba. If you have not already done so, you should register with the British Embassy for local updates on the security situation in Kinshasa.

Violent clashes took place in Bas Congo province (south western DRC) between a local political group, the BDK, and Congolese security forces in late February and early March 2008, resulting in a number of deaths. These followed confrontations between the BDK and the police on 5 January in which six people were reported killed and over twenty seriously injured, some as a result of gunfire. The BDK and government troops fought in Bas Congo at the end of January and early February 2007, when over 100 people are reported to have been killed. The situation in Bas Congo remains tense, but for the moment without incident. Particular care should be taken when travelling to the Bas Fleuve region.

The north eastern district of Ituri, near the frontier with Uganda, remains an area of continued inter-factional conflict. Despite the presence of UN peacekeepers, violence continues. There remains the risk of armed clashes and attacks on civilians across eastern DRC, in Ituri, the Kivu provinces and northern Katanga.

May the TWAT be with this lad in all his travels.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 04 Jun 2008 Posts: 74

As he's a reporter, perhaps a magazine/travel guide company could contact him and ask him to write reviews of restaurants and hotels along the way, explain the transport system, give wonderful descriptions of the wildlife, interview local dignitaries and generally offer him to pay him 20c per word and $5 per photograph?

Should result in some nice long articles describing where he is streaded.

Or maybe TWAT might ask him to write an article (with photographs) for their monthly newsletter?

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