Baiting as a horse, that was easy...

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 2:02 pm

I've been baiting a Senegalese lad (refugee camp/parents dead/foreign partner needed) as a horse for about 5 months now with a bit of help from my 3 toed sloth friend (ably played by Thomas the Tank).

I wondered if you could bait lads as a talking real animal how far you could take the concept. Please meet my new character, Ethilius Draconis.

This was what the winged, scaly one sent to a promising looking Senegalese refugee (they all pretend to be female)

Quote:

Greetings, mortal child.

You tell a interesting tale, yet one so common in the sorrow and woe of which your species dwells. I have little use for the small pieces of paper your kind love so much yet on occasion I find it useful when employing humans to do my bidding; much more convenient than gold and rubies anyway and I get change back. So from this transaction I would gain 20% or $1,500,000 is that correct.

As for entry to my true country that would be quite impossible although I could use some influence I have to secure for you residence in Switzerland. You would like Switzerland, it has many mountains. I like mountains, they remind me of home.

I will be able to act as guardian of the fund for you. I have many centuries of experience in guarding money and have not lost so much as a single bauble from the hoard.

I look forward to your reply.

Ethilius M. Draconis.

And then to his scripted reply which contained the obligatory pictures of a good looking woman...

Quote:

Greetings Mortal Child

Thank you for your email. I can assure you that my kind do not lie, nor do we rob, steal, pillage and despite what you may have heard we do not eat people either – personally I blame all those rumors on that strange religion of the jealous god and his suffering son. I have no time for such nonsense. Accordingly I can give you my full pledge of fealty and trust in our dealings; however such a contract is not entered into lightly and I would expect the same of you and I will not fail to reward that which is given: fealty with love, valour with honour, oath-breaking with vengeance. (Ethelius had a minor Denethor, Steward of Gondor, moment there I think)

I can also promise that I can keep your business secret. For a thousand life ages of man my kind have kept secrets, fabulous secrets that if you knew them your heart would feel like it would burst if you could not tell them to every living creature. Secrets of life, death and the life beyond, secrets of unending love, of the darkest of deeds, of wealth beyond the dreams of men are those that we keep. These secrets are our treasure and yet they are our curse.

Ghana is rather a long way to fly to but I suppose I could take an aeroplane there. However let us see if we can deal with your security company by means of email first and I will come to Ghana if it becomes necessary.

I would like to thank you for sending me your pictures. You appear so young, so frail and fragile. Of course to me many of your kind appear thus but there is something about you, a cold morning in springtime still clinging to winters chill (Now he's gone all Grima Wormtongue). You have seem much in your brief and turbulent life but there is much more, so much more that I could show you.

As to my picture I can of course make myself appear however I wished to your eyes, also it is a custom among my people that we do not let ourselves be photographed. However I had this painting made of myself recently which I hope you will find pleasing.

Ethilius M. Draconis.

I sent him a portrait of some random guy in the House of Lords.

My lad starts his next reply thus:

Quote:

Hello dearest Ethilius M. Draconis,

Dearest supperior i am very loyal to your honesty and assurance

Excellent mortal, already you recognise a superior species when you meet one.

This could get very, very silly Laughing

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 2:30 pm

HAHA! That's great. He's turned all medieval and poetic. Silly baits are great fun, and even after 5 months of lad wasting modalities it sure does take the edge off. Entertaining yourself at their expense is a necessity.

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

sunshine wrote:

I wondered if you could bait lads as a talking real animal how far you could take the concept.

Brilliant

Talking of strange characters lads have tried to send to Western Union I'm sure someone once did a bait as a Martian or something like that. Can have a great time with that one, no WU or MG branches on Mars Wink

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 7:37 pm

sunshine, you are a real nut. I love it! Laughing

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:47 am

sunshine wrote:

I wondered if you could bait lads as a talking real animal how far you could take the concept. Please meet my new character, Ethilius Draconis.

I think you may find this thread inspires you. One lad being baited into communicating with a penguin with a very limited vocabulary and also an elephant with an enormous keyboard. This bait is based at the animal research facilities of Bristol zoo. Laughing

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:19 am

^^^^ It was the Andy the Elephant bait that inspired me to start with my genetically engineered horse character.

Two reasons I'm doing animal character baits is that (a) they make straight baiting a little more funny and (b) I'm genuinely curious to see how much lads read and understand in responses. Quite a lot of the time I am conviced that lads will just skim mails looking for the bit that says "Money" or "MTCN" and lines like "I went for a canter in the paddock today and my hooves are a bit sore now" just get filtered out and don't really register.

By and large that seems to be true but my current lad on the dragon bait is picking up on things in my responses and is going off-script in his replies. Strangely it's rather trivial stuff they are picking up on (for example I told the lad above it isn't necessary to call me superior but he now is doing so in his replies "as a mark of respect") but he's missing out on the fact that I told him I was 73 centuries old and don't eat princesses Confused

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 1:08 pm

That's given me an idea. I wonder if I can convince a lad that I'm an artificial intelligence program running on my owner's PC.
Only one way to find out....

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

^^^ Put the owner somewhere local, like Ghana or something, and then have the owner about to upgrade his PC. You have the owner's bank details, and there's lots of money in there, but you'll only divulge them if the lad comes to rescue you.

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 6:47 pm

^^^ I'll bear that in mind. I was thinking mainly of all the questions an AI would ned to ask a lad.
Assuming that I find one who believes it, that is.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:09 pm

Here's some AI for your lad...
http://members.419eater.com/~slaphappy/soundfiles/stress.mp3

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:25 pm

One that would probably fly quite easily would be a parrot. There are two online that speak quite amazingly well actually three the third Sparky swears like a trooper!

Alex the african grey http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6KvPN_Wt8I&feature=related

Eisten http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiBnVLXEMDQ there are lots of links to einstein

Sparky http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRhvUJIwbV0

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:52 pm

sunshine wrote:

^^^^ It was the Andy the Elephant bait that inspired me to start with my genetically engineered horse character.

It was my "Andy The Elephant", and the zoo's Secretary "Super Sexy Tracey" ...the Penguin belonged to a former member.

I must get my elephant e-mail address out sometime and give it a dusting.

Nice one sunshine Cool

...add a couple more characters into the bait and it will go even further .... and don't have an plan ! ..just make it up as you go along

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:57 pm

Try baiting as a 12-year-old sometime! When you bait as a horse, penguin, or goat, you see how truly stupid the mugus can be.

When you bait as a 12 - year-old, you see how truly wretched they can be.

Bruin

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:00 pm

I think this dragon one will be fascinating to watch develop.

I wonder sometimes if the lads buy everything we say, or if they just decide to humor us in order to get money out of us.

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:41 pm

Fantastic, I can't wait to see the results of this. Laughing

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:43 pm

BRUIN wrote:

Try baiting as a 12-year-old sometime!

I have, as I wanted to see if a hitlad would threaten to kill a 10 year old girl. My favourite bait so far.

http://www.scamorama.com/prolite_agnes_hitlad.html

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 12:05 am

@TambourineMan I have two believing I am a 7300 year old five tonne fire breathing flying lizard - your AI sounds the acme of rationality Smile

Make sure it's on a laptop so when the lad does safari to come to your "rescue" you can have moved Laughing

@Bruin... baiting a loan lad as a 12 year old schoolgirl was how I earned my ponies Wink

Yes the lads will scam anyone, even a dragon.

Back in Dragonland meanwhile ...

Quote:

Hello dearest Ethilius M. Draconis,

Dearest supperior i am very loyal to your honesty and assurance to lead me to the next level of my life which i never expected to reach again after loosing my parents,but one thing i want to correct is this,i am not in Ghana (whoops - silly dragon got his baits crossed) i am presently in Senegal still a west African Country so you can visit me there any time you wish to.But,like you said it is very neccessary to contact the agents incharge of the funds in UK immediatly to know their requirements to enable them deliver the box to you.

{scripty bit about security company snipped}

also,thanks alot for the picture of you which you made me to see no matter how difficult it was for you since you people do not show yourself any how,but never mind we are same now i believe.

Ethilius flaps over to the computer...

Quote:

Greetings human child,

Thank you first of all for calling my superior. It is however not necessary but I thank you nonetheless for your acknowledgement of my position. I see that you are indeed in Senegal also, I must have confused you with another business matter I have to purchase a shipment of gold from some miners in that country - the gold is in a dust form but it will be a trivial matter for me to melt it into a more pleasing form. Perhaps I could send you some - gold is a most beautiful thing; immortal, untarnished, as bright as the sun yet as dark as blood. Alas I digress, a bad habit of mine caused by age I fear.

I do need to ask you a question about this box of yours. I do not know what it's contents are as you have not actually told me they are, only that the value is several million dollars. Maybe you could enlighten me as to the contents and then I may be able to advise you what to do with them.

I am afraid that I do not have a telephone as I have little use for communication in that way as I have an acolyte who deals with tradesmen and such. However if it is necessary I will procure one.

Salutations

"She's" keen and replies within the hour (snipped a bit to remove the irrelevant bits - he writes tons of off-script rubbish my lad)

Quote:

Dearest supperior,

Thank you for your reply,as am back to the Rev.fr. office to check my mail again and found out that you have already contacted back.Am so happy for your efforts my superior please allow me to call you by this name to show my respect and loyalty to you

So,coming to the question you asked concerning the content of the box,i want you to know that the 7.500,000 million US dollars i mentioned in my first mail is in that box as the main content of the box and also my late father disguised the money in the box with 25 grams of Aluvia gold dust and some other precious gems like that (Congratulations, mentioning gold and jewels will get you the attention of a dragon!)

I will appreciate your gift of gold but,i think we also have it here and is better you help me recover the one i have instead of dashing me a little from your's.

Another thing is this,please i want you to know that i have handed the recovery of this my inheritance box to you as i believe you are capable of retrieving it from the agents so that when i come over to your country you will help to guide me and to help in establishing the money and use your powers to guide the investments while i go back to school this is my whole intention because,left to me alone i cannot help myself as you know am in a very urgly condition here more especially financially.So my most superior,i wait to hear from you very soon about your discussions with the agents in UK so that,i will know when you will be going to see them to collect the box from them as i believe it will be easier for you to go to UK and meet with them face to face and sort things out with them over there.
Your's lovely Child,
Mirian

Where's Alluvia? Anywhere near Narnia?

Quote:

My Dear Mortal Child.
Thank you for your letter. Very well you may call me “superior” if it pleases you and it affords me delight greatly that I have your loyalty and respect. I have a good feeling towards you Mirian; there has been so much mistrust between our races for so many centuries – maybe perhaps this could be the beginning, in a small way, of a rapprochement between your people and my kind. Perhaps. May I call you “Pidin Tarw”, it is a word from the elder tongue of my people which does not translate well into your speech but would best be rendered as “Fairest one” for your appearance and speech is most pleasing to me. (Actually it's Welsh slang and means "Dickhead" Laughing

)

Gold dust is so pretty isn’t it, most pleasing on the eye, the way it trickles through your fingers catching the firelight. However I have not heard of the gold dust of Aluvia, in which realm is that? I have gold dust here from Russia, South Africa, Senegal and even some given to me by my cousin Llapgoch from Wales which is almost red, red as the blood that was spilt in times past to wrench it from the depths of the earth. I would love to know more what precious gems are in your hoarde. I especially like rubies and emeralds and have a number of those here with me. Please do tell me more about the gemstones.

You said something about your agents in the United Kingdom, “Great Albion” my people call it and I know its green hills and ancient mountains well. Many were the conversations and lessons of instruction I had with Merlin when he was but a callow youth; before the dark times, before the empire. I will have speech with your agents in Albion soon but do you have some token you can send to me so that they know that you have in troth sent me to do your bidding with them, a letter of introduction in your own hand perhaps? (Can ever a trophy have been asked for more poetically Smile

)

I await by the fire to hear from you. May the wind ever be gentle over your wings.

Snoozy dragon

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 5:45 am

Sunshine, you never cease to amaze me with your characters. This dragon is a wonderful being indeed! Very Happy

It occurs to me that a dragon would not have any trouble convincing the security company to release the trunkbox. Wink

But I suppose your dragon is as ethical as he is superior. Smile

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:01 pm

^^^ Well Ethilius is a good dragon, but as they say "Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste nice when dipped in chocolate" Laughing

Anyway it appears that I have been given a promotion to "Superior Father" (do I need to let the Pope know?). Also I am still not sure where Alluvia is but it is a "good gold realm", apparently Rolling Eyes

Quote:

Hello my Superior Father,

How is your health condition today which is so important to me,hope you are doing fine today?I am fine too,only that there is a lot of sufferings and pains here in this orphanage home because,we eat only once a day here and no good water to drink and this makes me to feel sick from time to time.But,i believe that by knowing you,i will not continue to suffer here and believe also that i will soon leave here to dwell with you for the rest of my life.You have spoken well in your emal dear superior father,but coming to your question about the gemstones that are in the box,my father told me about the aluvia gold dust and i don't know much about it but believe it must be among one of the good gold realms.And it was about this particular gem aluvia gold dust that he did mention to me but told me that he has more in it who knows what they maybe but am sure,he was a good friend of the director general of Sierre-leone gold and diamond corporatation of which he (the director) use to visit my house when he was still alife and when my father was alife too,so i think he may have that gem too.So,the introdution letter is neccessary i think and when i send it to you,you will have to contact the agents with your full informations,so the next letter is the introduction mail you can forward it to their email too and tell them you got the same from me.Leave you now father most superior,till you hear from the agents, live in good health for me.Thanks once more,am very happy you counted me most fairest please father superior don't allow me to die here i depend on you to live a better life again and to continue my education fater loosing my parents .

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:39 pm

Quote:

Can ever a trophy have been asked for more poetically

No, I don't believe it will ever be topped, and this is coming from a dragon besides! Laughing

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 11:56 pm

Oooooooo I hate it when they tell the lies of the conditions in the orphanage/refugee camp Evil or Very Mad

Burn him to a crisp oh great one
Laughing

Baiting as a horse, that was easy...	View next topic View previous topic