Annoyed lads crack me up

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Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:34 am

I've changed the names to avoid google death. My initial contact sent me to the 'bank'. I've been pissing this lad off for the last week asking all sorts of banking an investment questions. Now I found out yesterday my initial contact died under mysterious circumstances. I've questioned his skills as a banker, and the balls on this lad... he gets sooooooooo cranky. I love him.

Quote:

ATTN:RP

YES I TOLD YOU TAHT STEVEN IS DEAD YESTERDAY BECAUSE YOU MENTION IS NAME TO ME THAT IS WHY I HAVE TO CLEARIFY YOU BUT I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM BECAUSE HE IS LATE AND HE IS AN OBIDIENT STAFF OF UR BANK, ABOUT SEARCHING FOR STEVE RELATIVE OH YES THEY WILL COME AND RECEIVE STEVEN GRATUITY WHEN IT IS TIME TO SO I DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE MY JOB AND START LOOKING FOR HIS RELATIVE AFTER ALL I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WORKING HERE.

I KNOW WHAT ONLINE RECEIPT IS, WHY WOULDN'T I, OH I MISSUNDERSTOOD YOU, ANYWAY IT SEEMS YOU HAVE A VERY BIG PROBLEM AND I NOW SUSPECT YOU BECAUSE I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU ANY MORE, I SHOULD BE THE ONE TO ASK YOU AL THE QSTION YOU ARE ASKING ME BUT I DID NOT JUST BECAUSE MR. STEVE HAS CLEARIFY THINGS TO US HERE BEFORE HE DIED.

LISTEN AND LISTEN GOOD FOR THE LAST TIME, MR. STEVE WAS YOUR RELATIVE PERSONAL ACCOUNT MANAGER SO HE KNOWS MUCH ABOUT YOUR RELATIVE THAN I DO BECAUSE HE MANAGE YOUR RELATIVE ACCOUNT BEFORE HE DIED AND HE WAS THE PERSON THAT GAVE YOUR RELATIVE THE RECEIPT OF DEPOSIT, INCLUDING THE CERTIFICATE O DEPOSIT WHICH I ALREADY SENT TO YOU, NOTE THAT I ONLY SENT THE CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT TO YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO MISSUNDERSTAND ME, SO I DON'T HAVE A COPY BUT MR. STEVEN KNOWS BETTER ALL I AM HERE TO DO IS TO REMITT YOUR ACCOUNT WITH YOUR INHERITANCE FUND LEGALLY SINCE WE HAVE CONFIRMED THAT YOU ARE THE REAL NEXT OF KIN TO OUR LATE CLIENT, MIND YOU THE LATE STEVEN LEE IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN PRESENT THE NEXT OF KIN OF OUR LATE CLIENT TO THE BANK MANAGEMENT AND HE DID BEFORE HE DIED, SO THANK YOUR GOD THAT LATE LEE PRESENTED YOU TO THE BANK BEFORE HE DIED IF NOT YOU WOULD HAVE A BIG PROBLEM IF YOU ARE TO CNTACT US WITHOUT THE ASSISTANT OF MR. LEE BECAUSE WE WILL VERIFY YOU THOROUGHLY BUT STEVEN DID THE PRESENTATION BEFORE HE DIED, AS IF HE KNOWS HE WAS GOING TO DIE.

NOTE THAT I AM SURPOSE TO ASK YOU FOR THE RECEIPT BECAUSE YOU SHOULD HAVE IT WITH YOU SINCE YOU ARE THE NEXT OF KIN TO OUR LATE CLIENT BUT I KNOW YOU WILL HAVE IT WITH YOU THAT IS WHY WE DON'T ASK FOR IT, MR. STEVEN LEE HAS ALREADY ASSISTED OU ALOT HERE BEFORE HE DIED BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONE WHO SUBMITTED THE LATE MR. JEFFERY'S DEATH CERTIFICATE TO THE BANK ON YOUR BEHALF AND IF NOT WE WOULD HAVE ASKED YOU TO PROVIDE IT, SO DON'T THINK THAT CLAIMING YOUR LATE RELATIVE FUND IS EASY, NO IT IS NOT AS EASY AS YOU THINK , BUT MR. STEVEN LEE HELPED YOU ALOT, IF NO MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE TO COME TO OUR BANK IN PERSON BEFORE YOU CAN CLAIM IT BUT SINCE MR. STEVEN LEE HAS TESTIFY AND CONFIRMED TO US THAT YOU ARE THE RIGHT PERSON THEN WE HAVE NO CHOICE THAN TO DO IT AS IT HAS TO BE DONE LEGALLY.

PLEASE SIR, I KNOW YOU ARE A MUTURED MAN SO REASON WITH ME AND APPLY YOUR MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING IN MY EMAILS BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE TYPING TOO MUCH BUT YOU MADE ME TYPE ALOT OF WORDS WHICH I HAVE NOT BEEN DOING FOR OVER 5 YEARS BACK,ANYWAY I HAVE EXPLAINED MYSELF TO YOU AND I THINK YOU SHOULD CORRECT YOURSELF.

I HOPE OU UNDERSTAND ME VERY WELL?

BEST REGARDS
KELVIN LAMBERT.
AUDIT MANAGER(HSBC)

I couldn't help myself. I sent this back. Oh yes. I spell his name wrong all the time. He doesn't like that.

Quote:

Dear Kemlin,

So what you're saying is you are having problems understanding me
because you aren't mature enough?

RP

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Quote:

I DON'T LIKE TYPING TOO MUCH BUT YOU MADE ME TYPE ALOT OF WORDS

Well done on pissing him off.

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:44 am

Quote:

I spell his name wrong all the time. He doesn't like that.

Some lads hate that , others don't bother but i always do that too .
It's great to see a lad typing his fingers sour Twisted Evil

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 10:54 am

Quote:

I DON'T LIKE TYPING TOO MUCH BUT YOU MADE ME TYPE ALOT OF WORDS WHICH I HAVE NOT BEEN DOING FOR OVER 5 YEARS BACK

I liked this one, too. But I have a sneaking suspicion about NN, as well. That email wasn't very long at all, and I didn't understand a word of it. I'm betting he'll do much more writing. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:10 pm

He's so pissy I can't get enough of him.

Quote:

LISTEN ATTENTIVELY, YOU CAN NOT TEACH ME MY JOB AND I WILL NOT SEND ANY RECEIPT TO YOU BECAUSE YOU SHOULD HAVE IT AND IF NOT THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, I WILL SEND TO YOU AND APPROVAL CONFIRMATION OF YOUR INHERITANCE FUND AND FUND RELEASE ORDER FROM OUR BOARD OF DIRECTOR PLUS PAYMENT SCHEDULE, SO THAT YOU CAN KNOW THAT YOUR INHERITANCE FUND HAS BEEN APPROVED AND WHEN TO EXPECT YOU INHERITANCE FUND IN YOUR ACCOUNT.

THE THREE DOCUMETS MENTIONED ABOVE WILL BE SENT TO YOU AS A PROOF THAT YOU WILL RECEIVE YOUR INHERITANCE FUND SO THAT THERE WILL BE NO PROBLEM IN FUTURE.

PLEASE YOU MAKE ME TALK TOO MUCH IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME PLEASE STOP EMAILLING ME

BEST REGARDS
KELVIN LAMBERT.
AUDIT MANAGER(HSBC)

Quote:

Gremlin - I have listened attentively, and I have been quite patient with you, considering your limited knowledge of international banking. I will keep emailing you until we can sort this mess out. However I am willing to forgive your confusion if you send me those documents and I will see them and if I am satisfied I will continue to work with you. Otherwise I would like you to put me in touch with your boss, or superior who does know what they are talking about. You do have a boss. There is no way you could be the man in charge. If not I will place a call to your bank in the morning to discuss this someone who knows what is going on.

I will have my secretary find the number tomorrow so I can contact someone competent. What I requested was very simple. A online bank statement shows me the balance of an account. It's a simple document you print off and scan and email to me. That's all! I didn't think it was a very big request at all. I request statements from the bank all the time. I get one from one of my six offshore accounts whenever I want. So could you please contact your supervisor or whoever so I can get someone else. I think our language barrier is causing a big issue, and I'm far too rich to be insulted any longer.

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:27 pm

I had a '' some time ago who typed all caps, and he was a smartassed little git on the phone, as I recall. I used to be aware he was showing off to his mates or some girls around the cafe, so I'd bellow and shout abuse down the phone at him in the hope they'd hear, but he'd just be "yes,yes. listen good, just do what I instruct you" and so on. I lost him, so if by any remote chance this is the same , here's hoping you metaphorically sever his nuts and hang them from a stake on Victoria Island.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:30 pm

Quote:

PLEASE YOU MAKE ME TALK TOO MUCH

I think this guy is in the wrong business. Laughing

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:32 pm

He's given me a UK number. Is this it? Tel: +44 702 402 5179

I don't care if he twigs. I'm re-baiting him with a very obliging young lass who's in desperate need of his vast wisdom.

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:04 pm

I'm not sure, it might be, it was a long time ago but I do remember he had a UK redirect. I don't have the bait in my archives. He's a lad anyway.

Mind if I accidentally call him and see if he sounds like my old mucker?

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:10 pm

Call away. Tell him your name is and you want to speak to his supervisor about his poor attitude and inability to provide basic documents. Also ask him about Mr. Steven Lee (he's the guy that mysteriously died) Ask him how he died and if you can send a cheque to the family. He'll get really pissed if you push him about finding the family. Can you record it? If so, I would love to hear it mate.

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:19 pm

Damn. 'The number you are trying to call is not currently supported by Skype'. Wonder if anyone else can reach him? Sorry NN.

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 11:47 pm

WOW. What an amazing turn around. He didn't want me to call his bank directly. Imagine that. He's such a pompous lad.

Quote:

IT'S OKAY, I WILL SATISFY YOU BECAUSE YOU SOUNDED MATURED NOW, SO I WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU ASK FOR AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

BEST REGARDS
KELVIN LAMBERT.
AUDIT MANAGER(HSBC)

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:07 am

Even I want to kick his ass!

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:21 am

His number IS a redirect. Porbably skype cannot/will not pay the premium!
Why do lads believe their own lies anyway? They become convinced they are a banker/barrister/wealthy widow!

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:11 am

Ask Kemiln, if MR. STEVEN LEE is dead, what happens to his share of the fund? You need to renegotiate.

Cruel NN, making him type a lot of words.

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 11:32 am

I'm 90 percent convinced it's the same lad, he was HSBC bank. His style of writing, although typically laddish, fits exactly too.

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 4:55 am

Nurse Nasty wrote:

He's given me a UK number. Is this it? Tel: +44 702 402 5179

I don't care if he twigs. I'm re-baiting him with a very obliging young lass who's in desperate need of his vast wisdom.

That's a UK based redirect number, the lad could be anywhere in the world!
If you want, report it, see here:
http://www.fraudwatchers.org/forums/showthread.php?t=3882

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 5:02 am

You matured very quickly, NN. All you had to do was question him and suddenly you're tops. Wink

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 5:19 am

I wanted to see how resourceful he was, and he supplied me with his statement. It looks very official. My lad is a touch over-sensitive about everything. I doubt he has a sense of humour at all and takes himself far too seriously. That's what makes him all the more better to bait.

I thanked him and said that I will use this to confirm the account. I would like to think he stomps his feet while reading my email. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 12:12 pm

It's my old mate. The double entendre in his mail about 'satisfying you' and 'giving you what you want' because 'you're mature' was proof enough for me, but the document above is identical.

Methinks he's just tried to teach his granny to suck eggs Laughing

I really hope you can show him up to be the prick he is in front of his buddies. That swagger needs to become a limp.