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Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 12:35 am

I hear Chad is the new Lagos for 419. If we get enough lads moved there, perhaps one day sociologists will study the movement of Nigerians to that place and argue over what caused it.

Besides, the Miracle Network needs some friends there and everyone loves a midget. Laughing

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 1:45 am

Yeah I take your point, it would be fun to send him to Chad, but unfortunately the idiot hasn't got a passport Crying or Very sad

Although, theres no reason why he can't do a few laps of Nigeria. I hear Kano's a nice place for a safari. Not all that safe if you believe what google has to say about it, but what the hell. Twisted Evil

I just hope he gets back to me in the morning so we can get on with phase 2, I expect he's just collapsed from exhaustion or something.

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 1:58 am

Who needs a passport. Just have him promise someone payment to smuggle him across the border. Wink

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:02 pm

ANOTHER DAY WASTED

OD/ Field agent Char1es 3eze spent the day stalling our boi at Abuja airport. Problems with the email system, busy with other customers, then we notice his ID's out of date, naturally there are security questions to answer, and at this point the lad has had enough and just wants to go home.

Quote:

sam: Oh my goodness am getting tired mum i we leave this place today mum so i we try and send you my friend foreign account because he was the one that borrow me money to travelled down - 4.11.08 - 10:42am

But not so fast, we haven't finished with him yet. A sad boy calls for a carrot, so Betty dangles a big fat juicy one for him.

Quote:

betty: what, you mean you have traveled all that way, just to leave without your money? what is the problem now?

sam: Yes mum am leaving here now becausd they are requesting for my driver licence now and which i dnt have - 4.11.08 - 01:46pm

betty: see how you get on today son, if you don't get your money in time, we can fly out tonight and pick you up. we are going to go down to the post office now, to see if we can get martin to speed things up a bit . back soon.

sam: So what do you want me to do now hope u are coming to nigeria tomor pls then i wait u at the lagos airport - 4.11.08 - 02:12pm

betty: Smith3rs {the butler} is booking a private plane, I think it would be best if you stay there for now, so we can come and sort this out. when did you last get an email from them?

sam: Ok are u coming now pls then i wait pls - 4.11.08 - 02:24pm

betty: Yes, I will just have to pack a few things, and give the staff their instructions, then we can head for the airport

sam: So mum i we love to see and are u joking pls - 4.11.08 - 02:27pm

betty: No I'm not joking, Im very serious. I don't like the idea of you travelling all the way back on that bus, it sounds really dangerous.

samtope: Oh mum pls are u serious pls - 4.11.08 - 02:29pm

betty: Yes I am completely serious, Im not going to have another sleepless night worrying about you son.

sam: Ok i we wait u there just call me when u arrived in how hours time are u going to use pls - 4.11.08 - 02:33pm

betty: I'm not sure yet, we have to pick up the plane and submit the flight plan, I will email you from the airport when we have an exact arrival time. I need to go and pack, don't worry son, mummy will soon be there, is there anything I can bring you?

sam: Not yet just bring along money pls then i can get every i want pls and what about the letter pls {invitation letter for visa} - 4.11.08 - 02:45pm

betty: son, try and sort it out with the parcel people so you can book yourself in to a nice hotel and have a meal and a shower. I will email you when we get to the airport. see you soon darling son.

Mission accomplished, Now to work on getting him to spend the money for his return fare on a bus trip to Kan0 Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:12 pm

I wonder they'll only charge him half price for his fare or put him in the baggage rack. LOL.

Keep him wasting his money.

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:27 pm

Maybe we should stop this bait and bait him into thinking he'll get on the show "Little People Big World" Question

Finally got a response from the moron about his size:

Quote:

sir my full name is 0gunsak1n tem1tope s4muel am 23years old an my height is 4ft and having 45 kg (99 pounds) and am dark in complexion

Odd that he says his height in English, but weight in metric.

Lets see if we can string him along while we wait for management approval for his cash, or if something terrible will happen to the agent. At this point, I think it may be better for the agent to make it one more day to ensure the lad is there for tomorrow.

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:29 pm

Well the PD Rep knocked off at 4pm and B3tty's going to be in the air for a good 6hrs or so. Which means I need to be up at midnight and start again.

God this wears you down, I cut out most of the whining, begging and repetition from our chat, don't know where I would of been today without OD to share the burden.

Fingers crossed our boi will go for the next leg, I think it's going to be hard work persuading him.

@OD Yeah I think we need you alive for now, maybe B3tty will cause a fuss and draw the cash out in Kano.

Just got 2 emails from him.

Quote:

mum am at the airport here in abuja waiting for u wishing you safe journey once u get to the airport kindly send me message .

ok mum i will be waiting for you dont forget that my phone number is 08056370xxx love to see you soon

Oh I almost forgot, Mar7in Doy1e got a voicemail earlier. Click here. He sounds beaten Smile

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 7:00 pm

Due to an unfortunate computer disaster, the Abuja office will not be able to handle any transfers at this time. The lad has been informed that luckily the agent in Kano can step in and get the job done.

Of course he'll have to do another sign in Kano for that agent... now to look something for him to write down that would be an insult in the area and get himself in danger... Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:30 am

Quote:

now to look something for him to write down that would be an insult in the area and get himself in danger

What about "I SUCK COCKS FOR MnM's" in the local language Laughing

OK, down to business. Between OD and myself we have left a trail of emails for the boi making it look as though B377y and her faithful butler Smith3rs are en route to Abuja. Then this happens...

Quote:

betty to sam
Hello dear boy, well this is a first for your mummy. I have never been to Africa before, I must say it makes a pleasant change from cold and rain of England.

Son, we have had to make a stop at Sokoto because a warning light has come up on the instrument panel, and the pilot wants to get it looked at, hopefully we won't be delayed too long. Once the problem is fixed, we should be able to get over to you in about an hour. I will get Smithers to ring you as soon as we land

I'm really looking forward to meeting you now, isn't it exciting!
see you soon dear son,

Love from Mummy

Oops! change of plan....

Quote:

betty to sam 10 mins later

Son, I've got an Email from the Parcel people saying the money now has to be collected from Kano. It's really quite fortunate that we did make an unscheduled stop or we would never of known. I'm starting to agree with your opinion of Parcel Direct now son, they are rubbish! I think God must be watching over us, I believe he put the light on as a sign to warn us.What do you think?

Anyway, there is no need for you to worry yourself, Smithers says once the plane has been checked out, we can pop over and collect the money from Kano and bring it to you there in Abuja.

I must say, I had imagined that the problems were being caused by the people at this end, but everyone here is very friendly and helpful, I shan't be using Parcel direct in future son, I really should of listened to you.

We are going to head back to the plane now as Smithers says the problem is fixed. I will email you again when we arrive at Kano.

I hope God is watching over you and protecting you as he is with us.

Love Mummy

I've got a feeling the problem with the plane will surface again and force them to be grounded in Kano until the parts arrive.

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:45 am

If you weren't already aware, the northern part of Nigeria is more Muslim and does not take kindly to scammers.

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 2:18 am

^^ Isn't that a shame Laughing

Any idea what the punishment is?

Well he's still on the hook for now..

Quote:

Sam to Betty 01:54
thanks for the message am still at the airport in abuja here pls even i cant sleep just sitting down on a chair waiting for you to come so mum hope u are serious pls and kindly call me once u get to the airport here pls my phone numbers is 08056370*** and 08035309*** so pls hope to see u soon thanks

Br77y will be in Kan0 soon. I doubt the Parc3l Direct office will be openuntil 8 or 9am, so I'll get some sleep at last Crying or Very sad

Quote:

sam to betty 02:11
Mum which of the aircraft do u board pls mummy really waiting for you mum dnt disappoint me pls because i stick to ur instruction asking me to wait pls

Quote:

betty to sam 2:50 ish
Son, we have arrived in Kano, I'm exhausted, don't worry son we will sort your money out in the morning when the parcel place is open. I really need some sleep now. Smithers is trying to find us somewhere to stay. I'll email you in the morning son, try and get some rest.
Love Mum
>
5 mins later
Don't worry son, we will sort it out now. Smithers won't stand for any nonsense from them. Why don't you book yourself into a hotel son and get some sleep, don't worry about the cost I will pay for it for you. I will let you know as soon as we hear from the agent in the morning.
Take care son
Love mum

And so, to sleep..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

DAY 3 HE'S STILL THERE

Quote:

sam to betty 07:39
hello mum am still waiting for you at the airport hope things are going alright kindly not to forget to call me when u are through thanks

betty to sam 9:06am
Good Morning Dear Son. Well Africa is everything I dreamed it to be and more, It's so lovely here and now the sun is up its so warm.
I have emailed John Cliffton and asked him to get in touch with me as soon as he can, hopefully this shouldn't take too long to clear up, and we can be on our way. I'm going to have some breakfast now, hope you are well today son.

sam to betty 9:20
thanks for the message mum so i will be expecting you very soon mum kindly make it fast so my phone is on so try and ask smithers to call me immediately you get to the airport thanks for the cooperation (Don't mention it!) Laughing

At last, he's getting stressed Twisted Evil

Quote:

sam to betty 10:23
Mum i can tell u categorically that am nt ok here waiting for u since yesterday unable to sleep and mum am missing some lectures in school now so i we need to go back today becos this is my 3rd day in abuja now so once u cant get in touch with john cliffton pls kindly just come over and we settle all the problem later we continue with that and do u chartered the plane that u board pls so mum is very urgent now in order to see money to book down for my ticket pls hope to hear frm u soon

Quote:

betty to sam 10:43
Son, John Cliffton is saying that, because the checks are in your name you will need to sign for them. I don't know what to do about it now. Smithers is not here, he's gone to hire a car. Yes, I told you we hired the plane from Manchester.
Is there something wrong with your email system? I only ask because I got your last message over and over about ten times. Please try to stay calm son, I will ask God to help us in this matter.
Love Mum

Well it was far from easy, but after 2hrs of badgering, we finally managed to persuade him that he should make his way to Kano. I'll spare you the whining but here's the result we were looking for.

Quote:

betty to sam 12:48
son, I have had an email from the local agent from parcel direct, he says he can arrange to meet us tomorrow. please think about this practically, by tomorrow night you can back to Lagos with everything straightened out and 3 months allowance in your pocket.
love mum
>
sam to betty 12:54
mum kindly give me the address of where u are in kano so that i can come over pls reply quickly pls
>
betty to sam 12:59
I'm in the airport cafe at the moment, we are going have a drive around and look for a nice hotel this afternoon. If you come to the airport I will send Smithers to pick you up.

See you soon son, have a safe journey

And that's the last I've heard from him. It's been 7hrs now with no contact, so either he's given up and gone home.. or I'm due an email from Kano pretty soon. Fingers crossed Confused

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:37 am

The lying little git has gone home!

Quote:

sam to betty 9:54
dear mum
thanks for the message there was a problem at the motor park yesterday due to transport charges and i dont have much money in hand to travel down to kano so that was what disturb me not to arrive yesterday and this morning my friend call me on my phone telling me that we are going to have a test in school tomorrow morning by 7 oclock and i need to leave immediately so mum if u wish to help me with some thing pls kindly ask of wema bank over there my name is ogunsakin temitope samuel my account number is 089204771xxxx so kindly try and deposit my allowance there pls i dont know why u did not make things easy for me in the first instance u said u will be coming to abuja and later u were asking me to come down to kano and it sound dangerous pls so mum hope to hear from you soon but let it be know to you that ihave already left for abuja now so mum try and search for the branch of the bank over hope they will help you through pls once again my bank name is wema bank and my account number is 08920477xxxx thanks and have a lovely day

What? no apology for all the trouble he's put us all too.. bois getting a big fat slap for that..

And the checks still need signing for. I think he'll have to come down to Lagos in a day or two (only about 130 mile round trip) to meet the PD rep. Oh, and there are still forms to fill out about the WU transfer that went missing.

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:25 am

Oh, isn't that one cute, little lad...

1st of all: Congrats on the helmet.

2nd: Kano is a very lovely place for a lad. OD some time ago helped me to get one very stupid lad travelling up there and, as far as I remember, it was also there where he provided the security-photo (also courtesy by/to/whatever is correct here OD) that I now abuse as my avatar.

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:57 am

@Root, your lad was so stupid that it almost isn't sport to safari bait him (but I'd do it again in a heartbeat!) Laughing

@Roger, hopefully the bus is slowed by rebels again and he misses his test!

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 1:54 pm

^^ You are quite right about that. Right now he's supposed to deliver a video. After that it's all open for anything.

It's easier baiting that lad than framing Roger Rabbit.

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:19 pm

I didn't think they came much thicker than this little guy, I'll take your word for it.

He's spent today trying to claim that it wasn't his fault and begging for B3tty to send him cash direct to his bank account. Betty has finally had enough of his crap and left him with an ultimatum.

betty wrote:

Son
I have gone out of my way to help you, and what I get in return is lies, denial and then instructions as to what you think I should do to fix YOUR mess.

Let me tell you what I think you should do. I think you should have a good hard think about the trouble and expense you have put us to, then you should make a sincere apology to all of us. Then I think you should fill out the Western union forms I sent you. Then I think you should contact Parcel Direct and sort the problem out yourself, and if you decide that this is too much trouble for you, then don't ever contact me again.

That is what I think.

Let's see if the lure of the cash will wear down his laziness.

*Edit*

Well the tough love approach seems to have worked. He's been pestering poor B3tty for help, but she's been adamant that he must sort it himself.

Quote:

Good morning mum how are you so mum have been taking necessary action for me to get the money frm parcel direct now have asked john cliffton to transfer it to contonou which i hope it we be easier for me to get it frm there so mum i want to tell u that dnt get annoyed with me again if u are still annoyed with me that shows that u didnt take me as ur son even thou have serve alot of purnishment frm you now like nt coming there to prodigit to chat with me leaving me with my debts so mum kindly have mercy on me pls so mum hope am still coming there for christmas because we need to take necessary action now for my coming pls

So thanks to the helpful folk at Parc3l Dir3ct, B3tty and Son should have a lovely family Christmas together....unless something terrible happens. Twisted Evil

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