Dan is not too happy

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Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Those of you that are part of a mafia that is threatening Dan, please shoot me a pm. I've got a new account of his that you can send your threats to. This is his lottery account.

Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:57 pm

Quote:

dan: but u don't want to make it rain
dan: why?
F: why would i want to make it rain?

Dan thought you were Pacman Jones for a moment Laughing

.

I must admit, Dan and Fiona's dysfunctional relationship is way funnier than Dan and Cinnamon's dysfunctional relationship bow_down

Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 12:02 am

Saul Shalom is not threatening Dan anymore. He is waving Paris Hilton's house, the closeness of David and Posh Beckham to that house, and the offer of a fancy car in front of Dan's nose. Today he sent a little reminder.

Quote:

Daniel,

Remember me? Your friend Saul Shalom? The one who wants to give you a home in Los Angeles and a fancy car? What kind of car do you want, Daniel? I hear you're partial to Aston Martins.

How's your broken hand, Daniel? Is it giving you pain?

Your baby is growing up so fast. She will be a beautiful young woman when she grows up. You'd like to see her grow up, wouldn't you, Daniel? What kind of father are you going to be? Will you spoil her like a pampered princess? Will you send all the boys packing when they come sniffing around her? She's going to miss out on all that if she doesn't have her daddy with her, isn't she?

So many questions, Daniel, and you could answer them all with just one little move. And then the only question will be if you should go for a drive in your convertible or take a dip in the pool.

See how easy life can be, Daniel?

Your Friend,
Saul Shalom
Kosher Nostra

And true to form, Dan answers the one question he has an easy answer for.

Quote:

Yes i remember you,well thats really nice of you.

anykind of car i'll appreciate

Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:57 am

I've moved elements of the Memph!s M@fia's 'negotiation' squad to Cas@blanca. They want a face-to-face meeting with Dan, since he hasn't been responding lately.

Just had a brainstorm whilst threatening Dan via another 'interested' party (warned they'd be tracking him by satellite soon).

Since the Moh!nder document is from the EU bank and mentions the Swiss - would it be a good idea to have them come after Dan, too? He could've been set up to take the fall for the operation. Agent Cletu$/Jone$ could actually be a master criminal making sure that the hammer of God comes down on Dan. The crooked agent walks away scot-free. Sort-of like North By Northwest. Dan is a very, very, very dimwitted Cary Grant, C!nnamon B@gel is Eva Marie Saint setting him up to be strafed by a cropduster with a tommy gun (Stanley) who failed to do the job. The government (angry and armed Swiss bankers... the Ricola Syndicate? Cool

) wants him for murder (hacking). The criminal mastermind(s) (agents) want him dead. And in this variant of Hitchcock's classic, there are multiple armed gangs after a McGuffin that he deleted.
I'll be watching Dan's future with considerable interest. Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 41

I can't for the life of me get this arse to respond to me. I've tried insults... and threats... and promises of safety... it's as if the Triads don't even exist.

Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:35 pm

^ Have you tried a straight bait on the new lotto account?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 41

Not as of yet. While it would be more fun if he were to actually respond, I'm having an amazingly good time just threatening and insulting his manhood. Everyone else makes him out to be so much fun when he responds that I'll probably shoot Jayhawk a PM for that other address before too much longer.

Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:36 pm

@Ood - I've actually gotten more pleasure out of sending him threatening e-mails and imagining him receiving them from a half dozen different gangs/mobs than his actual replies. In actuality his replies are kind of whiney...

Quote:

please i don't know who you are,and what you are looking for can you please me alone,because i don't have anytin,not even a bank account,please leave me alone

Quote:

Look i don't have the document please leave me alone.

Quote:

Pls i dnt ave them just leave me in peace ok

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 41

I've been getting that same enjoyment, which is why even though he never responds, that doesn't stop me from continuing to send him e-mails. I'm gonna have to let him know how furious I am that some anonymous group did away with my assassin on his behalf, but that that won't stop my dedication towards retrieving the program. Oh yeah, and his mom loves sex with goats.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I'm sure that Dan is telling the truth when he says that he has no bank accounts. I think we got a couple of them close about two years ago. Very Happy

Dan is back in ostrich mode. I think he needs another visit. Does anyone have a pissed off lad that we can send his way?