Dan is not too happy

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419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

hmmm...the Mafish have received no such message.

I'm wondering if Dan has picked the death he feels would be the easiest?

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:40 pm

@Bob: For what it's worth I've started trying to trick him with the subjects of my e-mails. It may be a coincidence, but he's responded to:

lets be friends
sorry my mistake
you win, we give up

But believe me, the subjects don't match the content! Twisted Evil

I don't know if it's a coincidence, but I get some enjoyment from it.

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 5:06 pm

^^^ Maybe I should try that. My latest was "Go ahead and ignore us but we won't go away." Very Happy

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 9:17 pm

Yeah, I think Dan has resigned himself to his fate. He tells Cinnamon:

Quote:

im already dead now,they are in my area

Quote:

What?! Baby, you need to leave now. Just run. Run left if you have to. You don't know how bad Jones's guys are. They are very scary! You have to leave for another town right now!

Love,
Cinnamon

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 9:28 pm

My bet is that it's not fun being Dan right now (or ever for that matter)

Quote:

If i trully got what you people are looking for,you won't have been seen me,because i believe it must be very precious,if i would have got it,you won't have seen me,i would have get lost ok,so i don't have it ok,i don't even have anything broda,so please i guess you are on the wrong track,bcos i dont do internet business ok.

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 9:28 pm

And at last, after a friendly note from Saul Shalom offering Dan a sort of "mugu protection program," Dan responds:

frantic lad wrote:

Look i like your offer but i don't have it ok,i don't even know what you are talking about somebody is setting me up and i don't understand anything about all this crap,because if i had what you people are saying,i would have got lost ok,i think you are meeting the wrong person.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Dan is back to pleading with Cletus:

Quote:

Ok please can you just please just help me,let me give you just a naked picture of my dick holding the sign please i beg you my friend,just this last help i am seeking from you please,and i'll send it without wasting anytime please i beg of you,just save my life please.

Regards

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 9:46 pm

I don't know why I keep posting these since they're all about the same, but here's another installment of idiocy

Quote:

Look i have told you before,even if you kill me i will still stand in the truth i don't know what you are talking about ok.

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:04 pm

The M3mph!s M@fi@ have contacted Dan.

It's amazing how sinister the song 'D@nny Boy' can be, by the way. Twisted Evil

Got a reply almost immediately:

Please i don't know what you are talking about maybe you made a mistake in your checkout check very well this is the wrong person.

Also got two more messages. I demanded to know who had the info. Twice.

is with the interpol agent,not me
And, after demanding to know his name and contact details:

who i don't have his contact details,he only told me he is an interpol.

I think Stanley had him pegged as stupid clear through, honestly. There is no reason on earth why he should ask 'who'. I asked who had the info not three minutes before that message. Dan may've had a mental breakdown, or be a born idiot.

P.S.
Here's a nice article that may be useful to the Mafish/La Kosher Nostra:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1077155/Actor-mob-film-Gomorrah-arrested--Mafia.html

Quote:

Spagnuolo was arrested two weeks ago by police who suspect him of being one of the killers of the six Africans - but he has decided to cooperate with them in exchange for a lighter sentence.

Mod Edit: Masking removed as not necessary for the normal text. [BB]

** Retired ** Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 750 Location: Air

4 emails from me and not one response.

Hmpf ! Mad

Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:48 pm

^^^ he didn't reply until my 8th e-mail

Of course, all he is doing is whining... Rolling Eyes

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

Last Exile wrote:

Sister Elena of the Spanish Inquisition is already after Dan...

I'm suggesting that Sister Elena starts killing some Mafish/Kosher Nostra/etc. We basically put all of ourselves into one big mob war to see who gets to kill Dan.

Fixed quote tags - Roy

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Dan is such an idiot:

Quote:

Ok i will send the naked one but i have a webcam,but is not wide enough,you can only see my dick,i will be holding the sign.

I told him a few emails ago that the ante has been upped. I don't want naked photos of him anymore. Now I want photos of him wearing a dress, wig, high heels and makeup and holding signs.

Of course, I will remind him of this when he sends me the naked pics.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 41

In the event that he does finally come up with the pictures, are you going to send him "the program?" I'm assuming "the program" could be sent using the typical .dll rename, or using file destructor or something like that. If you do end up sending it to him, I'm quite curious what he'll do. Will he then start trying to sell it to all of the different organizations that are after him? Or will he settle with one and expect to be taken into their protection for his generosity? Such fun could also be had if the sign he has to hold up insulted one of the various organizations, and they managed to "hack" (not really, I know that's not what we do around here) his connection and gain access to the picture, therefore giving them renewed incentive to threaten him with things like being raped to death by a donkey. (Seriously, that's the funniest death threat I've heard of... I wish I could be so creative.)

@Bob - feel free to let him know that you've captured and disposed of one of Si Yaojiu's Triad agents. Zei Sharen (murderer of thieves) should be a good victim. If you do, just let me know so that I can be sure and send him a nice message letting him know that just because he can elude one of my agents, doesn't mean that I'll be giving up any time soon in my eternal quest for the program.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Well, if he does do everything I want him to do I will eventually send him the program. Naturally this program has been encoded so that it can only be emailed from a high-level security computer, so Dan will have to print it out and carry it around with him.

The program is nothing but 100 pages of gobbly-goo.

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:38 am

Would it be nice if the wanted vital part of the program, a 150-digit de-activiting-code (random number) was hidden somewere halfway those 100 pages? He would only have to go trough all those pages to find it and then copy it by hand (if the document is a .jpg or pdf sort of document) and email that to the bad-guys to get them off his back? Of course the code will be incorrect as he must have made a mistake copying it, so he'll have to do it again?

Anyway, good work. Let's hope you get a lot more 'please's' from Dan...
Very Happy

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 1:44 am

Saul Shalom has made Dan an offer he shouldn't refuse, but Dan is sticking to his story that he doesn't know what Saul is talking about.

Saul wrote:

Daniel,

I think you're beginning to see what I can offer you, aren't you?

I think you're beginning to wonder if it might be a good idea to give old Saul what he's asking for, aren't you?

Well, let me tell you more. I've got such a deal for you!

I have attached a picture of your new home. Guess who it used to belong to.

Paris Hilton, that's who!

It's the ideal location, Daniel, because the neighbors all hate the papparazzi so much. The LA police keep an eye on the area, so all those other gangs will have to keep away. Then there's the guards I'll put there.

And guess who else lives in LA, Daniel? David Beckham, that's who! Just think about living near your football idol, Daniel. And you could actually meet him. Oh, not as Daniel, but as an African oil executive living here in private. You could have Becks and Posh sitting in your own living room, Wouldn't your lady-love like to go shopping with Posh?

Daniel. It's all sitting there just waiting for you.

And you know what you have to do to get it.

Your Friend
Saul Shalom
Kosher Nostra

stubborn lad wrote:

Nice offer brother,but really i don' have the document frankly,i don't even know what you ate talking about

Saul wrote:

Oh, Daniel. You wound me.

Do you mean to tell me you LOST the document that was sent to you? Oh, how could you be so careless!

I want you to know that I'm breaking Sabbath rules to write to you. I'm that disappointed, my boy. Now I'll have to do a mikvah to make up for this, but I don't mind, really. It's a little thing, really. Just helping an old widow woman build a new house. Nothing at all to a man like me.

But, Daniel, what am I going to do with you? What am I going to do with your lady-love and her baby? I know where they are, Daniel. Suppose you tell me what you'd like me to do with them.

Saul Shalom
Kosher Nostra

Daniel is not quick to pick up on Saul's subtle hints.

rather dim lad wrote:

well i want you to release them,because i love them ok,i wish i had the document i would have released it to you,and the most annoying thing is that i don't even know what you people are talking about,if that i know it,it would have been better,just release them and let them be free just do it for God sake.

regards

Does he think Saul will bring him F and the baby without a quid pro quo?

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 3:49 am

@Titania - I love your offer to Dan! Laughing

I wonder what he's really thinking in that tiny little brain of his?

Was he thinking of money or food when he wrote you:

Quote:

i don't even know what you ate talking about

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I decided to get back in touch with Dan, using my character that got all of this started when she won the lottery more than two years ago. Can claims that he is a changed man, and has found god, and suppose he could have reformed.

Answer - Nope. Still the same sack of shit.

Quote:

Dear Mrs Jenny,

I believe God is by your side,your winnings are still available waiting for you,but there is no much time ok,just get back to me telling me how much you can pay for your delivery charges i can help you with the other amount,you are wasting too much time.

Regards,
Potter

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 9:59 am

Does he still like his former friend, Professor Charles S from N ?

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 11:04 pm

I don't know what it is about this guy, but every new email I get just makes me want to horsewhip the idiot.
After spilling his guts that an Interpol agent had the codes, the MM demanded all his correspondence with 'em. He sends this back:

Seriously, he demands cash in advance from the frickin' mafia?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

Before i can move forward you people need to pay me.

Welcome to the world of Dan. It's his world. The rest of us just live here.

Dan is without a doubt the most frustrating lad I have ever run across. He's too damn lazy to do squat, and he expects large sums of money to be hand deliverd to his door.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Dan really is a waste of time. Poor Fiona has been hiding out and Dan has been playing football and having a good time. He's pretty annoyed that Fiona won't send him any money. The ball is in Fiona's court now. (That just cracked me up.)

Quote:

dan: hello
F: hello
dan: hw are u doin?
dan: where ave u been?
F: where are you? where have you been
dan: i am suppose to be asking u dat
F: ?
dan: yes
dan: u told to com the same time the other day,i did'nt see u again
F: please, you weren't online
F: you didn't travel
dan: yea
dan: im brook dats y
dan: i don't ave money
F: byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
dan: wait
F: byeeeeeeeeeeeee
dan: wats happening why are u tellin me bye
dan: where are u going?
dan: u are changing everytin
dan: dat simply means u dnt love me
dan: anymore
F: you never showed me you love me
dan: dats wat u think,but in my heart i really knows i do care abt u
dan: even if u are far away, u are always here in my heart
F: then come to me
dan: do u want me to fly and come and meet u,even if but i dnt ave wings to fly,and u know dat
dan: is only money i need
F: take a bus
dan: dats all
F: you talk pretty words but they mean nothing
dan: i am the abracadabra
F: hahaha
dan: babe u are always in my heart,but u dnt seems to understand me
dan: u in me,me in u,christ in us
dan: do u believe it?
F: yes
dan: then believe in me
F: i will believe you when you come to me
dan: with both of us together we can make thing happen
dan: honey i want u in my life,and i believe u also do the same in ur mind too
F: yes,
dan: but u don't want to make it run
F: and as soon as you come to me i will show you how much
dan: why?
dan: but u don't want to make it rain
dan: why?
F: why would i want to make it rain?
dan: yes make it rain by been obedient to the one your heart beats 4
F: i am not following that
F: but if you won't come to me, just forget it
dan: so u are shifting me behind rite?
dan: well u are trying to kill my spirit
dan: u not multivating me anymore
F: byeee
dan: the ball is on your court now
dan: honey wat are u doin there
dan: ignoring me
F: looking for a real man
dan: wats the meaning of that?
F: just what it says
dan: look stop such kinda words i dnt lik it
F: and i don't like it that you are not man enough to come here
dan: but i told u b4 i did'nt have money
dan: rite
dan: do u know wat happened?
F: what happened?
dan: u see and you'll always tell me u care and feel 4me
F: i don't want to hear any more of your whining.
F: i am taking care of a baby here, and you can only whine about being brook.
F: byeeeeeee
dan: look i always tell u
dan: u are too hard to me rite from the beginning and its very bad
dan: play soft
dan: look i broke my hand when i was traning
F: did Jones plays soft with me?
F: you broke your hand? how?
dan: wen we were playing football
F: so you have had time to play football and break your hand while i have been in hiding????
dan: ooh u c this is wat i am talking abt
dan: show some love
dan: it was very serious
F: i am soooo sorry to hear about your poor broken hand
dan: ooh u taught i was kidding it was really serious,but i dnt want to burder u
F: ok,byee, i am tired now
dan: y?
dan: tired of talking to ur husband
dan: wat a crap
dan: is really disgusting
F: you are just being silly now
F: a silly, silly, boy
dan: ha ha ha honey u mak me laff
dan: but u know i dnt work rite?
F: now that really turns me on
F: wow, a man with no job, i am hot for that
dan: ha ha haaa
dan: u know if i am in US i ave more opportunites more than u

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

When Dan dies, I think they should open up his skull and study his brain (assuming, of course, that they can find one). Here is what he sent to Jenny, who won the lottery TWO YEARS AGO!

Quote:

Dear Jenny,

Your money you won is 2,500,000,000 so pay up your courier charges so we can deliver your money and your car to you.

That's right. I won $2.5 BILLION! Of course, he didn't bother to tell me how much the courier charges were, so naturally I don't know how much to send him, but that's a minor detail.

That's our Dan! Very Happy

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

That's it, I'm going to start straight-baiting Dan on the side. I'll just respond with something generic.