Lad Thinks I am a Guyman

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:41 am

He's agreed to come to Cotonou tomorrow. Seeing as I have already sent a lad there once before, I told him to go to Cyb3r J0nqu3t and I would send someone to pick him up once he mailed me.

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:24 pm

The pith helmet that graces my siggy line involved a lad sent to meet my cousin (Frumpy) in an internet cafe in Benin, I told the lad that my cousin is a very big man so suggested he ask the biggest person he could find "My name is Dama, where are my laptops", I had visions of the biggest nastiest Nigerians belting him to a pulp until he finally gave up on finding my cousin Laughing

perhaps you could try something similiar with a secret (possibly insulting) password he will need to use when you greet.

The pass phrase could be something like "I love you and want to go outside with you" Laughing

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 4:49 pm

well, I haven't replied yet, and he has sent me nothing again, so I will reply later to find out what's going on. I guess he got the hint no more checks were going out til he meets Ch4rl35....so I guess maybe that is why is agreed to finally come to Cotonou. Are we trying to get him there by the weekend starts? Or by Monday?

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 6:20 pm

Just got this...

Quote:

Dear T3d J@ck$on,

Mail acknowledge.You got the Job.Payment will start coming to you from noext very.Do have a lovely weekend.

Regards,

Bourbon Lung

Alli3d @nd pl@stic Limit3d.

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 6:32 pm

He says he'll be there tomorrow.

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 7:01 pm

Does anyone know when "noext very" is? Is that some sort of pagan holiday?

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:24 pm

The latest - short and to the point:

Quote:

The company awit to read from you.

It'll be a while as Cammy is spending time with her brother, freshly back from Afghanistan.

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:42 pm

He plans to meet my lad at Cyb3r J0nqu3t tomorrow and wants directions. It's not the epic safari I wanted for everyone but it'll have to do. Any good ideas for why my lad couldn't show?

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:47 pm

Maybe he had a wash-wash maga to meet, who was going to make a big payout, and couldn't leave word for our Lad?

Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:10 am

Your lad had problems...

1. He had to go to his brother's wedding to the family goat.

2. His Mommy said he couldn't travel because someone had written "FAKE" across his passport.

3. He got caught trying to cheat his Oga and got he peepee whacked.

Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:16 am

I'm trying to get everyone the pith helmet. After that, let's see how far we can jerk this little bastage around. I hope he isn't counting on me answering many of his emails, I plan on being out all day fishing.

Actually, when he complains that I didn't show up, I'll tell him my mother wouldn't let me go. Laughing

Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 6:07 am

I never replied to his one email, so he sent me this:

Quote:

I am meeting charlie tomorrow..I hope it all went well.

And I am sending him this:

Quote:

god, i get my monies soon and i can send more check when u send me my share of the monies. did u ask him if he get u women? i no he want teach u god thing, so listen to him, he is a god man ok? u mail my box when u get there so i no u get there ok.

Now a couple of things, he needs to hold a sign being as they haven't meet each other yet, and @SSA maybe the maga wanted to take you to one of the 5imba 5afari Camps to celebrate, and you could invite him along, as in getting him moving further? Would that work, and maybe my fake lad charater could fly over there to meet your fake lad at 5imba 5afari Camp for more incentive for him to go? Just tossing some ideas out there....

Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 5:10 pm

He says he is there now, but I can't confirm because he uses gmail....but I think everyone should get a pith if we can confirm...

Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 5:14 pm

Tell him you are having trouble viewing his emails and another of your friends who uses gmail is having the same trouble but only when sending to you, ask him to send an email from yahoo so you can check it out and see if that is the problem.

I should mention to send a new email and dont reply otherwise his email will be there

Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 5:19 pm

I just sent him a email with readnotify so we can confirm where he is.....This is great everyone....

Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:17 pm

He was emailing me all day while I was on the lake fishing. He was emailing me from Yahoo so when I get home I'll post up the emails and check the IP. He's not the first lad I've sent to Cyb3r J0nquet. His emails were pretty pathetic and whiny. I mean, who goes to another country with just enough money for internet time? Oh wait, I told him to do that.

Baiting Guru Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 2531 Location: AU

well he is certainly ignoring his employees
i was getting bored so
i sent him this just now.

Quote:

Lung
there has been an attack on the church. The Ninjas came last night. it was very frightening.
The police have no idea where they came from.

the whole place has been torn to pieces and they even killed my power ranger. We are ruined and need to rebuild. With your help and the checks i will be able to fix everything sooner.
regards
Cornelius

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:10 am

Here's the emails that kept popping up on my phone all day starting with:

Quote:

Big brother;

I am here and i am waiting to meet you in person,I am at cyber jonquet right now,I am using the cyber cafe to send you this mail,I await to read back from you now,so we can meet each other and finished this Business

I await to read from you soon

IP: 81.91.235.152 (Benin)

Quote:

please come and pick me here i dont know anyone here

Quote:

I am wearing a white t-shirt,I am tired of standing out side.I want to go and eat,I saw one african food,here i can eat.I will be out side the cafe waiting for that person that will come and pick me,I wait for the person in some mins time,I can wait any longer.

Quote:

Hello,

You should know that i dont have much money on me.As you said never to bring in much money,I am feeling much uncomfortable here right now..........I have finished eating,And i am standing out side,My time will be up at any moment from now,Pls what time is ur driver coming.tell him to come quickly and pick me,I think you should have make arrange for this.

Pls i am waiting.

Quote:

please u can make it fast
this is my first time being here
and am not finding it funny (I found it fucking hilarious)
please i beg u am really tired

Quote:

Hello
please let me know the exact time u re coming
am here with no cash
just tell me the time
am very tired

Quote:

Please give me adress where i can meet u rather than wait here for ur driver or give me a number that i can reach u

Quote:

please i have no cash with me to buy more time^
please let me know when u are coming
i beg u

Quote:

Please bro come early
i beg u
am very tired

Quote:

Bros am staying over time here
please u need to tell me what is going on
am still waiting
please be fast

Quote:

bro am stranded please u need to help me out here
u told me not to bring money down which i didnt
please help me out
i ave been waiting for the past 3hours

Quote:

bro am stranded please u need to help me out here
u told me not to bring money down which i didnt
please help me out
i ave been waiting for the past 5hours

Quote:

I am very much diappointed in you.You made me look like a big fool.I stood out side the cyber cafe for over 6 hours waiting for you and you keep mailing that you are coming.What kind of man are you?You told me not to come with much money,Now how willl i get to my house?Ihave to start beging for money to go back home now.You made me cry and i never expected such from you.Thank you so much for the embrassment.

IP: 81.91.230.105 (Cotonou, Benin)

Boys and girls, don your safari caps and congratulations on a job well done. happy crowd

I have pop mail on my phone which as many of you may know, forwards all my emails to my phone so I can see and reply to them without going to a computer. So, I did manage to send him short messages while I was fishing, trying to keep him there as long as I could. My friend and I were laughing every time one of his frantic messages popped up on the phone. I think we laughed so hard we scared off the fish.

So, with that being said, please add and mask Lagos to Cotonou, along with your shiny new pith helmet.

Meanwhile, what do I need to tell our lad in the morning when I get around to responding to him?

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:20 am

^^^Looks like you caught us a really big fish! Great work!

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:24 am

He emailed me while waiting for you to meet him to ask if my character had sent the money to his bank account.

I emailed him back that the bank said something was wrong with that account, so I wired the money to the original bank account.

I guess he was hoping for WU or $$ in his account. Laughing

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:26 am

A nasty, scamming scum mugu fish. I usually like to throw those up on the bank and let the birds eat them.

Here is where I was fishing today: http://www.laketalquinlodge.com/

I then went and ate pork, beef, venison, chicken and baked beans until I thought I was going to pop. Finish your food kids, there's starving mugus in Benin. Laughing

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 5:01 am

I just got home from work so I will add my pith helmet to my siggy now. I also have to check my email to see what he said to me. Tell him to stay there and the driver will be there in the morning, was waiting for a special tire.

Good Job everyone!!!! @SSA - Should I tell him you sent me my money and I can start sending more checks now? I won't respond til I confirm with you.

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 5:13 am

Also, we all got him to safari in a month. Not a bad accomplishment at all.

Good work everyone! Very Happy

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 5:18 am

Tell him you got your money. I don't know what I want to do with him now, chances are he is sleeping on a park bench or maybe he found a way to get home. I know my last lad who went there spent one night and then hightailed it back to Nigeria. I'm thinking of sending him to the bank and causing a scene, but I imagine the banks there are closed on Sunday.

Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 5:22 am

He only responded once today and I sent the reply of telling him to wait there you'll be there soon. I have to open my readnotify and see if he even read the email yet. I hope he is sleeping on a park bench and hungary. I'm game for whatever you want to do with him. I personally want him to continue his journey to Chad. you could tell him the driver saw him standing outside the cafe, but then spotted an EFCC officer, so the driver hightailed it out of there and ask him why he was bringing the EFCC along to bust him? Maybe that could work? Just something that just popped into my head....

he hasn't bothered to even read mine. Guess he was paying per minute or whatever and was only worried about your fake lad and the driver picking him up.