Fantastic way to waste your lad's time

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419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

To cut another long story short, I have told my lad to send me some photographic evidence before he will receive his dollaz. But unfortunately an evil gman (=me Twisted Evil

) has hacked into our e-mail accounts so that no attachments greater than 1kb can get through. After several days trying (and failing) to find an alternative solution, would my lad agree to my Plan B, which is to chop the photos up into 1kb files and e-mail them to me one at a time?

Was there ever any doubt? Very Happy

Quote:

From my lad:

I will make sure you get all the cropped files today. I hired a graphic designer from Greece to do this work! I couldn't have done it the best way to make it easier for you. One of the photos was cropped into 126 boxes!!! each of the box is at least lower than 2kb. if the boxes were divided below 1kb we would have about 200 boxes which will be very difficult for you to assemble! This is what graphic designer told me. i will have to send you one of the cropped files to see when i will go on with the rest.

PS This file is saved as cropped image 001 ( the last one of this photo would be Cropped Image 126), remember it is 126 boxes for the first photo. again when reassembling it, i want you to know that 14 boxes made up the first horizonal line. The horizonal lines of this boxes is 9 rows.

I am now watching in awe as the first of a couple of hundred pointless emails chug into my inbox, each one with a tiny piece of the jigsaw attached.

What could possibly go wrong now...? My lad can finally smell those dollaz...

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:38 am

Rule 2a. Make the Lad work hard.

Thumbs up

Ninastian, you seem to have developed a unique modality ... because I can't believe any of my Lads falling for such a ludicrous tale. Wink

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:47 am

Ouah
Great !
This is evil, I will have to try that !

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:53 am

@Ninastian - Shocked

That's pure insanity! Very Happy

If you can get this lad to do this, you could probably make him do just about anything. Laughing

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:19 am

another

and another Thumbs up

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:26 am

Quote:

One of the photos was cropped into 126 boxes !!! each of the box is at least lower than 2kb. if the boxes were divided below 1kb we would have about 200 boxes which will be very difficult for you to assemble!

This is still wrong Shocked

because the files are still > 1Kb. He'll just have to start from scratch. Remember if the files are > 1Kb you can't receive them and therefore cannot piece the image back together again.

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

^^^^^^^^

Oh no!!!!! Sad

Someone I know is going to be VERY cross...

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:34 am

I've haven't got a trophy Pic yet. But anything chopped up this way will count as a trophy in my books.
We need a classic 100 best excuses forum and I'd start with this one

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:54 am

@ Ninastian - this is a payment delaying modality I could never have thought of Shocked

wonderful!

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 1:05 pm

Of course in the end he'll have to start all over again, I know you will find a suitable reason for him. Very Happy

This new modality could be labeled the "PHOTO-CHOP".

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 2:05 pm

EXCELLENT! clapping

I have a similar modality going on where I explained I cannot receive emails longer than 5 sentences.

One scammer sends multiple emails and another has taken to printing everything out then scanning it.

I love compliant lads.

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 2:10 pm

THis is great! I havent seen this either...

But yes.. I am sure he paid the graphic designer a lot of money.

I wonder what was going though the greek designers head when he got htis request.

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 2:18 pm

probably $$$$$$$

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

My lad has spent 9 hours today sending me 300+ pieces of cropped picture, one e-mail at a time.

But it has just been my sad duty to inform him that none of the e-mails he sent had any files attached. He did make them 1kb or smaller, didn't he...? Rolling Eyes

Tomorrow morning I will post his reaction. I do hope he doesn't take it badly.

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 7:27 pm

Great work! I like this a lot.

It occurs to me you could have a lot of fun if you SEND a document to a lad - all chopped up. He'll have to print out each photo, and piece them together, jigsaw style.

Just make sure you don't accidentally forget to send one important piece Wink

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 11 Oct 2008 Posts: 7

I like the WU form.... "Sorry, I was in a rush to check out my hotel room and left two pieces in my room (a few hundred miles away)! Unfortunately I am unable to go back to the hotel to pick them up as when I got home the town was in an amber alert and we are not allowed to leave our homes, the good thing is I have phoned the hotel and they will keep the missing parts safe until you arrive to collect them" Very Happy

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:48 pm

Yeah and when you finally get around to sending him the WU receipt you will have to do the same thing and good luck to the lad putting them back together Smile

Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:33 am

^^^
But when you do, just be sure to send the same micro-attachment with each email. That's quick, easy, and all the more frustrating for the lad. Laughing

Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:46 am

Norfolk n Good wrote:

I like the WU form.... "Sorry, I was in a rush to check out my hotel room and left two pieces in my room (a few hundred miles away)! Unfortunately I am unable to go back to the hotel to pick them up as when I got home the town was in an amber alert and we are not allowed to leave our homes, the good thing is I have phoned the hotel and they will keep the missing parts safe until you arrive to collect them" Very Happy

"You wouldnt believe this...the hotel burned right to the ground...along with your missing pieces" Laughing

Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:22 am

Ninastian: I hurt my abs laughing at this. Excellent work. Smile

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Another day dawns. But today is different because I discover eight angry messages from my lad, who has been waiting for the last two hours for me to contact him. I do hope I haven't upset him. But it seems I may have done:

Quote:

I spent over 6 hours intoto sending this emails to you (file less than 2kb for each) to you one at a time. It really drives me crazy!!! Plus I spent over 3,000 euros to hire someone from Greece to get this work done! Shit Shit!! Shit!!!

Shit! Please call me (07864 ******) or give me a number I can sms you the email access to print the photos. Now I should think the cropping is a monumental waste of time!

Curiously, he seems to be prepared to waste another day of his life on the same modality. Perhaps he feels partly to blame for not knowing the difference between 1kb and 2kb?

Quote:

Find a computer that has a Yahoo Messenger, then register a New Yahoo ID. After you are done, add me at ***@yahoo.com for a chat. I will be online waiting for you as from 8am London time. This is an instant messaging more reliable than emails. I can securely send you this files without ANYONE STOPPING IT!!!! I repeat no one can stop you from receiving this photos!! This will work 100%!!! Let's give this a try!
In a case where there is no Yahoo Messenger Installed on the computer you are going to use. You can instal one using this link below.

messenger.yahoo.com

PS If you aren't sure what Yahoo Messenger is, ask someone to guide you!!! Even a child in the UK instant messages, this is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DIFFICULT BRUVVVVVVV!!!Just do what I say and we are going to end this misery!!

Well, I'll give it a go - but something tells me I am going to struggle with this technology... Twisted Evil

MOD EDIT: removed mask from text. There's no need to waste bandwith masking large blocks of text with no names or other easily Googleable references. Wink

Great lad rant, BTW! --JF

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:07 pm

Fantastic, classic quotes from your pet! LMAO. LOL_sign

I sure hope messenger doesn't drop the line....can you imagine 12 hours on Messenger to send even smaller pieces?? This guy is truly nuts! Laughing

Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:44 pm

Quote:

Shit Shit!! Shit!!!

Sounds like your lad has a bowel problem... a bottle of Kaeopectate should remedy the situation.

Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:35 pm

I can't stop jiggling on my office's chair. Laughing

AMAZING

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 41

You could always just tell him that the computer you're using isn't yours, but a public computer, and they've blocked access to yahoo messenger. You can't download it without having administrative passwords to override the block. They've done this on most the computers at my school to prevent people from tieing up the computer lab surfing facebook, myspace, or chatting on IM's.

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