Dan is not too happy

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419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

Is the Port Harcourt thing a lie? I wonder if he's trying to throw us all off his trail.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

The Port Harcourt thing is a lie. Dan is too lazy to travel across the street, even if his life depended on it (which it does!).

I picture Dan sitting outside of his Aunties home on the curb, like a little kid that has run away from home. I don't doubt that she kicked him out. Having Dan as a house guest can't be a fun experience, especially when commandos raid your house. Where he's staying now is anyone's guess.

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

I told Dan that the Mafish were willing to hide him away from all his troubles in a small Amish community in northern Canada. Somehow I don't think he'll go for that.

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 5:31 pm

Whilst the chance of Dan moving is about the same as being hit by an iceberg at a Chelsea v Arsenal soccer match in the middle of an Indian Summer.

His current IP address is : 78.138.22.196 Satellite Provider

Lets see if it changes.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Someone ought to let Dan's mom know he is homeless. She might step in to help him.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ Maybe F could let Dan's mom know. Dan's mom just loves F. Laughing

Has F talked to Dan lately?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 7:58 pm

Dan is up late tonight.

Date: Thu, 09 Oct 2008 20:39:33 +0100

Quote:

Please Jone just leave me alone,you have succeeded in ruienning my life and now i need to start a new life,by tomorrow by 4.30pm they'll be pushing me out of the house,so jones you have succeeded,so you just please leave me alone ok

I've replied

Dan,
How you came to be such a king pin of the criminal world and a major terrorist is beyond me.
You are a lying,snivelling evil little turd that ought to be squashed like a fly with a rolled up newspaper.

I'll make sure to tell everyone that you are going to be on the street tomorrow afternoon, I'm sure there will be a feeding frenzy.

I reckon they'll be chopping you into little pieces and feeding the lumpier bits to the dogs, probably while your still alive so you can watch.

I don't believe one word of what you are saying, you've sat at that computer for most of the day, come on, stop being a wimp, just hand over the program and you'll be safe.

It must be better than ending up 30 Naira a slice at the local supermarket

Agent Jones

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Typical Dan.

Quote:

Ok i can only send you a naked picture of my dick,thats only what i have please just help me.can i send it now please?

Man, I wish I had a dime for everytime I've heard THAT line. I'd be a whole dime richer!

** Retired ** Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 750 Location: Air

Im on Dans case as the voodoo king of a Haitian Gang. Ive promised him that all his pursuers will be cursed and he will never come to any harm - provided he hands over the program ....

The alternative is something very bad indeed. Ive sent to of the most creative emails ive ever composed Twisted Evil

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

Bah! Your curses have no effect on the Amish Peoples, for we are protected by God Almighty himself. Your curses will not save Dan from what happened to Pablo.

Although Dan has yet to respond...

** Retired ** Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 750 Location: Air

^^ thats twice you've made me watch that Sad

Well all I can say is that 'King Willy' has visions. And based on the fact that he can see Dan will never co-operate, it is he who needs to be worried about the potency of the dark arts of Hades ! Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 10:57 pm

Quote:

Honey,

You see because of what happened,my cousin and their mother has decided to threw me out of their house,and i am not sure we can keep incontect anymore,because i won't be using internet anymore,and secondly i don't even have another place to stay,this is really annoying.

Well i still love you,but i am sorry because Jones have really rueined my life.

From him that care,
Dan

Does anyone have another lad's address that we can send Dan to? Perhaps Cinnamon could tell him she knows of a "safe haven" where he would be welcome (or not welcome Twisted Evil

)

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 11:21 pm

Dan wrote:

...this is really annoying.

Annoying - that´s the word!
Dan, you are a stoic, a poet, an idol for the youth of the planet Earth.
May death and trouble hit us, with your philosophy in mind it will be no more than just annoying Very Happy

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Jayhawk wrote:

^^^ Maybe F could let Dan's mom know. Dan's mom just loves F. Laughing

Has F talked to Dan lately?

No, F hasn't talked to Dan in ages. As far as he knows she is still in hiding from Agent Jones after escaping. Everyone can feel free to abuse him for not living up to his fatherly responsibilities and tell him F is going to send thugs after him to get some support for his kid.

Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 1:21 pm

Quote:

Date: Thu, 09 Oct 2008 20:45:03 +0100
I have told you before i don't have them ok.you just finish my life,after this moment i won't be using internet anymore because i won't have acces to it anymore in my life,all because of you,well God will pay you.

So who thinks Dan really isn't going to use the Internet any more?

I wonder if God pays out via Western Union?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ Maybe F could tell Dan that, as the rest of the mafia folks after Dan (except, of course, the vodoo mafia) have no way of knowing this. Very Happy

Cletus has warned Dan again:

Quote:

You are in full blown trouble now. Jones has recruited extra men on your case. He really wants that printout bad!

Expect more nasty people to be tracking you down.

Keep in mind that everytime you don't do what I tell you to do the price for getting the document from me goes up.

Interp0l Agent F3stus Cletus

Feel free to up the abuse! And if others want to join in, let me know! I think Dan is convinced that the entire underworld nation is after this printout. A printout that Cletus has, but is refusing to send to Dan.

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

Inspector Gadget wrote:

I wonder if God pays out via Western Union?

Only through MTCN S3cure

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Hell, Dan threatens not to use the internet all of the time. He told me two weeks ago that he was leaving the country and never checking his email account again. Of course, this is the same email account that everyone has been sending their threatening messsages to, and Dan is obviously reading.

Dan is a habitual liar.

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

Still no response, though. I'm pretty sure he's just trying to ignore the horde of organized crime coming down on his head. Pure Ostrich syndrome. Rolling Eyes

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 41

The triads have also now joined in the fray in attempting to secure ownership of the program. We offer nothing to him other than the ability to not die by our hands though. S1 Y@0j1u, the leader who contacted Dan, has such an amazingly suited name as well. While hes known amongst the other triads as being the demonic vulture of death, it seems ironic that his name could also mean 419. Very Happy

Who would've thought that his parents would have such foresight when naming him as a child.

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

Master of the Ood wrote:

it seems ironic that his name could also mean 419. Very Happy

Someone absolutely needs to begin threatening him from a group called the "binaries," and call themselves 110100011.

Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 4:33 pm

The Van Bur3n B0ys are now after the printout. Who dares oppose the VBB?? Evil or Very Mad

Master Baiter Joined: 23 Dec 2007 Posts: 128

Nobody expected the Spanish Inquisition!!!!

I think that being able to threaten both his soul and his body will give me the edge here...

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I would just like to point out that this is quite possibly the cruelest thing that has ever been done to a lad. Crueler than sending a lad to Abeche for three months. Crueler than photochopping nekid photos of a lad and putting them in a gay magazine. This one is crueler because:

a) Dan really was kidnapped by Stanley's boys and taken to a hotel before he was released for being too damn stupid

b) As strange as this all sounds, Dan believes EVERY BIT OF IT!

He truly does believe that agents from all over the globe are tracking him down for a document that he does not possess. He believes that. He claims that he has been kicked out of his Aunt's house because of all of this. That may or may not be true. Dan spends every second of every day scared sh*tless that when he turns a corner he will come face-to-face with death.

Well done. Keep up the pressure, and keep emailing him. My good agent is trying to convince him that the only way out of this is to go to his local police and confess all of his 419 crimes.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Dan isn't saying where he is but he says he is afraid for his life.

Quote:

F: hello
dan: im tired
F: why are you tired?
Fdan: som guys are trying to kill me
F: who is trying to kill you?
dan: i dnt know dem b4
F: what makes you think someone is trying to kill you?
dan: they are treatening me through e-mails
dan: they even got my address
F: your home address?
F: who are they?
BUZZ!!!
F: why aren't you answering me
F: DON’T BUZZ me
dan: were ave u been?
F: taking care of your baby, where do you think??
dan: no idea
F: where are you right now?????
dan: somewhere
F: when are you going to live up to your obligations to this child?
F: somewhere is where?
dan: i can't say now pls
dan: are u in nigeria now
dan: ?
dan: i am really afraid babe
F: tell me more
F: I hear that agent jones is really pissed since I escaped
dan: i need to move out from where i am
F: tell me where you are
F: maybe we can meet
dan: u can't
dan: dats wat you always say
dan: promises
dan: without fulfilment
F: i was being held prisoner you idiot
dan: ok i get u
F: now i and the baby are in hiding from jones, I am all alone
F: this baby needs a daddy
F: if it weren't for agent cletus' help, i would still be a prisoner
dan: ok.......
dan: so were can we meet
dan: i need to run
dan: i am already out
F: tell me where you are
F: do all nigerian men have no balls like you?
dan: u tell me
F: i don't know any other nigerian men but maybe i need to meet some
F: this baby needs a father, not a sniveling boy who is too afraid to tell me where he is