elderly Amelia vs. orphan Jane : Now with Artwork!

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Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

This is the same lad as the Ray King/ Juliet James thread. Last fall, he sent me a script for a young orphan girl, and I started two separate baits on it. One of my characters was a foul mouthed pervert (that one fizzled) and the other character was a very rambly old lady. I got bored with it and stopped writing. Yesterday, I decided to fire off an email and see if he'd pick me back up.

Yes, he did. He didn't miss a beat.

I didn't use his script in my reply, since it was sent to one of my other characters.

I'm Amelia, he's Jane.

Here's the first email I sent:

November 2007

Quote:

Dear xxxxx,
I received your email and would like to help you if I can. I am a widow myself and am learning much about finances as my husband left me much wealth to deal with. Unfortunately, I dont know much about these computers or internets and am just learning to use emails. When I was a girl, we didn't have such things. I remember my Aunt Milly used to tell me to always learn the new things in the world so that you won't be left behind when the world is changing, so that's what I'm doing. I'm learning these new things.
I am excited to help you and to have a new pen pal. Please tell me more about yourself, my girl!

Mrs. Amelia B

Quote:

Dear Amelia.
I do need your help,and am glad you respond to my mail,i need the following details to proceed with the process in order to connect an attorney that will prepare papers that will present you legally to my fund.

Your Full Name......................
Contact Address......................
Occupation........................
Age..........................
Nationality.............................
Sex........................
Telephone number.............................

I await your response as soon as possible.

Yours Jane,

Yes, my replies are long. That was the point of this bait, because I already knew the lad and knew that he'd actually read and respond to what I wrote. Very Happy

Quote:

Dear Jane,
My sweet child. I feel blessed to have met you in this way. It will give me a great feeling to be able to help you. It will feel like the old days when I had young children depending on me and I could provide for them. My children are all grown and gone from home now. They do not need a thing from me. You know how older people wish to be able to go back and cherish moments from the past? I remember those times like they were yesterday. Like the time when little Tommy got sick at school and that teacher sent him home without his coat. My my my, I didn't care for that one bit. I scooped that child right up to bed and stayed by his side. The devil of a cold had a hold of him for at least a fortnight.
So you see, my dear, I love to be needed and am glad to help.
My name is Mrs. Amelia . My address is 42 Mockingbird Lane, Chelsea, North Carolina. It's a great place to live, except the young folk have to gotten to act like such hoodlums, even the ones from the good families. Not like in my day where young folk had manners. I do not have an occupation, I stayed home and raised my children and took care of my dear departed Horton. He was such a good man. Fierce in business, to be sure, but a good family man. My age? Why, a good lady doesn't reveal her age! Let me just assure you that I am quite old enough to remember the old times before these internets and phones without any wire at all. I remember the days when going to the moving pictures was a special night out, not just getting a dmd to put in the machine at your house. My nationality is American and proud to be one. Best nation in the world. Where are you living again, my dear child? What is your nation? If we're going to be pen pals, I want you to answer these same questions for me! What fun! By sex, I assume you mean my gender. Lordy, a lady doesn't discuss sex with anyone! If you mean my gender, by now I am sure that you know that I am a lady.
And lastly, I'm afraid my dear girl, that I do not have a phone for you to call. I am hard of hearing these days and don't hear the phone when it rings, much less understand a word someone says on it. But when I was a young lady, I did have quite an ear.
My nurse is here and it's time for my exercises. I have quite enjoyed our talk and hope to hear from you again soon.
Take care,

He does answer all of my questions. He copies and pastes them into his email. You'll see him continue to do this through our entire correspondence.

Quote:

Thank So Much sweet mum as am glad to hear from you,am a girl of 20years as i stated in my previous mail,and as for your questions:Where are you living again, my dear child?Presently,am in Amsterdam Holland, What is your nation?Africa,Republic Of benin,am in amsterdam for my studying.Hope you got those answer right?

I had noted the content of your mail and i shall proceeed with my attorney on the certificate of legalty that will present you legally to my fund before i could link youup with the institution incharge of the release of my fund to you.

Mum,i will also like to know how convinently you like to have my fund in your possesion?

Reason for this is that of your age,did you still go out to bank to received money in usa?

Will you prefer to have my fund in your account in order for you to send some to me for my school fee and invest in the remainig fund on any profitable bussiness,can you do this for me?

What percentage will you prefer to have from my fund?

I so much have confident in you as amother,i believe someone like you will prefer to put me in direct way.

Reply my question as am glad to know you are a mum.Also note that when i meant sex,it also mean gender,and thank God for your correction on me.

I await your response.
Yours Sincerely.
Jane.

Quote:

My dear girl,
Thank you so much for calling me mum. It warmed my heart. I'll tell you, it's been a long time since I've felt a child needed me. So you are an African girl. Is life hard in Republic of Benin? I do not know where in Africa that country is. I have never heard of it. I am glad to hear that you are studying. What are you studying? Are you one of those modern girls with a profession like a man? Things have sure changed since when I was a young girl. Back then we didn't have professions. No siree. We were wives and mothers and kept a good house. My dear Horton always appreciated his meals on time and his children obedient, yes sir. That was my job.

Please do send my information to your attorney. Who is your attorney? Will he be contacting me? I won't know what to say to him, but I'll try to answer all of his questions. Just like when my Daddy asked me to help out the minister, I knew to answer everything he asked and behave. You don't mess around with important people. What a capable young girl you are! To have your own attorney! I didn't have such a thing until Horton passed away and I had to learn to take care of things on my own.

Bless your soul, I do not go out to the bank often. Such a kind girl to think of that. How will I help you with your fund? I'm not sure what I need to do to help. Why would I need to go to the bank? I think you should explain how this works first. I need to know what it is I am to do so that I can help you. Are you going to have me take your funds? How will that help you? Please explain this out to your mum so I will know. You sure do know a lot about these things to be doing all this from so far away! What a brave young girl you are. I just can't believe it.

I am so enjoying your letters. I know you are busy with your studies, but try to write again soon. It is lonely here and your letters make me feel good and needed.
Tell me about your studies. Tell me about your life before you moved to Holland. What was it like for a girl in Republic of Benin?

Your Mum,
Amelia

Quote:

Thanks so much mum as am glad to hear from you again.Am into commercial study in Holland,it's my pleasure to hear that you really appreciate and enjoy my Mail,may you live forever.

I noted some questions in your mail and i reply as follow.

So you are an African girl. Is life hard in Republic of Benin?Yes,life is much harder in africa,people betray and kill themselves because of political reason,but never mind,am out of africa,no man can kill me since my God is not ready to kill me.

I am glad to hear that you are studying. What are you studying?Bussiness Administration.

Who is your attorney? Will he be contacting me? The Attorney is a family Attorney,Her Name is Barrister Juliet James,She dont need to contact you,her work is to prepare certificate of legalty that will present you legally to my late dad fund,and thank God she had done it and i will email a copy to you for verification.

How will I help you with your fund?Firsly,i will send the details of the bank incharge of the fund to you before you could contact the bank on my behalf,a copy of certificate of legalty that present you legally to my fund must have been received by the management of the bank in order for them to recorgnise you as my legal representative.Secondly,you will contact the bank after i noted they had received the copy of certificate of legalty that present you legally to my fund.It's important you tell the bank on how you like to have the fund to your possesion,from the little experiece i had from the bank,they package and deliver customers fund to his/her address via the bank interdiplomatic courier service,i also note the bank can deliver the fund into your bank account via electronic transfer system,you are to decide on the convinent way you like to received the fund before the bank could work on delivery.

Why would I need to go to the bank? You only need to go to bank for the withdraw of the fund if you choose to have the fund into your bank account.

I need to know what it is I am to do so that I can help you. Are you going to have me take your funds? How will that help you?Yes,Mum,you will need to act as my representative by claiming my fund on my behalf,if you noticed my first proposal to your address,you will understand that i can only have access to claim my inherittance after my 25years,and now am still 20years,and i need to pay my school fee and lot of fee to help stay and continue my study in Holland,and since i dont have anyone to borrow me money,i seek an advise from my attorney that said i can present another person that above 25years to claim the fund on my behalf.Mum if you claim my fund for me,it will help me achieve good result in school,and i believe you shall not dissapoint me.

Tell me about your studies. Tell me about your life before you moved to Holland. What was it like for a girl in Republic of Benin?Thanks as i stated above this message,am into commercial class,am just a little girl of 20years,i love swimming and playing tennis,i love salad as my best food,am still virgin because my study is more important for now.Being a girl from Republic of Benin,Africa system in everything is bad,no good government,everybody fight for there pocket,if not because am fortunate to be the daughter of a former ambassador,my live must have ruin like other ladies that does have other to help.

I attached the certificate of legalty that presented you legally to my dad fund to this message,go through it and get back to me if you need any question before i could give you the bank details incharge of my fund.

Yours Sincerely.
Jane.

Quote:

My dear girl,
Thank you for your email. I think I understand now. You want me to claim your fund for you and then share it with you? What a sweet child. I do not need to share your fund. Certainly a young girl starting out in life is in much more need of funds than a woman nearing the end of life, like myself. It will please me to be able to help you.
Please do go ahead with the informations to the bank company. Also, please write to me again and I missed your letter over the past two days.
Tell me more about yourself. Do you have brothers and sisters? When is your birthday? How did you come to travel to Amsterdam for schooling, that is a long way from your home? How can you speak English so well, coming from Republic of Benin in Africa? Is most of your country also speaking English?
I am tired this morning, a bit under the weather, so I will not write this letter very long.

Take care,
Mrs. B, your mum

Quote:

Thanks so much sweet mum as am glad to hear from you again,but why you not respond to my mail since two days ago?the mail your replied today had been sent since two days ago,we suppose to have passed this level but never mind,God time is the best.

Concerning your question before i could give the bank info,

Do you have brothers and sisters? When is your birthday? No brother no sister,am the only child for my late parent,i was 20th on september 8 2007. How did you come to travel to Amsterdam for schooling, that is a long way from your home? I had been in Amsterdam Holland since age of 13years with the help of my late parent,may there gentle soul rest in perfect peace, How can you speak English so well, coming from Republic of Benin in Africa? am in English school,though we speak french in my Country,but the fact that i study in holland in English school,it help a little to understand some English, Is most of your country also speaking English? We are French Speaking Country.
I am tired this morning, a bit under the weather, so I will not write this letter very long. Thanks as i appreciate all your concern and your effort in helping someone like me.

Bank Info. *All details snipped*
Contact Person: Dr. Daniel XXXXX
Bank Name:
TEL:
FAX:
EMAIL:

The bank are waiting to hear from you before they could proceed in swifting my fund to you,try and email them if you cant call,make them understand you are sending this mail in respect of Late Holt fund,they will recorgnise and proceed with the delivery of the fund to you because they had already received certificate of legalty that present you legally to the fund.
I shall be waiting for an update as the transaction progress.

Yours.
Jane.

Quote:

Dear sweet child,
Thank you again for your letter. I can not write on this computerator every day as it tires me so. Is it ok if I only write to you every day or two? You may write to me every day, I would be so happy to see two or three letters from you when I turn on the machine to see them.

I am sorry to hear that you don't have a brother or a sister. So lonely for a sweet child to grow up that way. Dear me, yes. Why I had 11 brothers and sisters. It seems we were always running over the top of each other with so many of us around. Not to mention my own dear mother had udders like a cow by the time she finished breast feeding us all. What a toll childbirth takes on a woman. Do you fancy having children some day, when you are married proper? Do you have any young men sniffing around you for your attentions? I remember you said that you hadn't taken part in sexual intercourse. That is best. When I was a girl that is the proper way it was done. Not like the children these days who breed about with each other as if they are wild animals in heat. No sir, that is just not proper.

So you speak French!! How wonderful! I would love to see it written from you a bit. I do not understand a word of it, but think that it looks so lovely on the page. A romance language, that is. All of those languages just look and sound so beautiful. Do you speak any other languages? Since you are in Holland, do you speak Hollandish?

I just now noticed that you sent the bank information to me. Thank you. I will write it down and keep it at my desk in case I need it. I also noticed that you said that they were waiting for me? I do not understand. Why are they waiting for me? Where are they waiting? You said that I wouldn't have to go out to meet with them. Oh Dear, have I missed an appointment? I'm so sorry. Please tell them that I am sorry to have kept them waiting. I do feel that it is rude to do so. I didn't intend to miss the appointment though, I wasn't aware that you had made one for me. Please do tell me sooner the next time you schedule one for me, will you dear? I will need to make arrangements to have a driver bring me to the bank on time.

So tell me, my child, what are your measurements? I do a bit of knitting and would really like to make you a Christmas sweater. I will also need your address so that I can put it in the mail to you when I am finished. If you are going to be a daughter of mine, you'll have to dress in warm, handknit sweaters. One time little Tommy's teacher sent him out without his cold and he almost caught his death of a cold. I was none too happy with that teacher, I'll tell you that for certain.

I'll tell you what you can do. Make a nice picture for your mum so that I can hang it on my refrigerator. It has been years and years since I had one of my children's drawings on my refrigerator. What a joy that will be!! I can hardly wait. My children always did drawings for me. It was so nice to see them there. Of course, there were so many and I couldn't keep them all. You know what I did? I marched right out and bought a book to keep them all in! Yes, I did! I still have them somewhere. They must be up in the attic, but I certainly can't go get them. I am much to frail to climb up there. I must remember to ask Joanne when she comes next time.
How old are you again my dear? Are you too old for toys? I would like to send a gift along with the sweater but can not remember what you said you liked to play with.

Dear me, my brain is a bit foggy it seems. I should probably go lie down.

Please write to me again soon.
Your Mum.

Quote:

Thanks for your kind mail mum,may you leave forever and ever in Jesus Name.I noted the content of your mail and to start with,am not too good in french speaking and hollandish language,i speak a little french and can speak more of English because am in English school here in Amsterdam Holland.

Concerning having children,yes i pray to have children at the age of 30years,then i must have finished with my studies and have a company of mine to satisfy my need.Also about the bank i stated that was waiting to hear from you,when i meant they are waiting to hear from you,i mean it's important you email them in order for them to arrange how to transfer or deliver my fund to you,though i had email them to contact you and they had promised to get in touch with you tomorrow morning.

Mum as for my Age,am still 20years of age,i love toys but no much time to play with them because of my study.I will be glad to have you send sweater to me later,the important thing for now is for you to claim my fund for me in order to pay some fee for my coming exam and i also need to buy some book.

Please mum,when the bank email you tomorrow,try and get back to them as soon as possible and also try to give the transaction followup everyday on internet till the fund is release to you in order for you to send some fund to me out of my fund for my studies.

I await your response as soon as possible today.

Yours
Jane.

Quote:

My dear girl,
I enjoyed your last mail. I'm sorry to see that you haven't written again. Though, I did get a nice letter from the Mr. who is your friend with the money at the Utility Store. He wanted me to join his club which is a union, but I prefer not to. I did tell him to please just send you the money that is yours. I will arrange to have it shipped to you so that you can do well in school.
I'm sorry to hear that you don't speak much French or Hollandish. My dear, listen to me. Take opportunities to learn these things while you have them. There is no time like the present! Don't put things off thinking you can get to them later. No sir, time goes by too fast and next thing you know, you've lived your life and didn't do half of the things you'd planned to. Horton and I had always dreamed of travelling, but never did get around to it. Now I am too frail to travel and my sweet Horton is gone.
So, do learn that Hollandish language while you are there and have the chance.

So, now that I have written to your Utility store for you, I need your measurements for the sweater. How tall are you? How much do you weigh? What is your bust measurement? Also, what are the length of your arms, from armpit to fingertip? your neck measurement? and the length of your back (from neck to hipbones). Please send me all measurements as soon as you can in both inches and centimeters. I am anxious to begin your sweater! What is your favorite color? I will make it in your favorite color!

Please write back to me soon. I hope all goes well with Mr. Smith at the Utility Store!

Your mum, Mrs. B

Introducing, my mutant daughter. Look at those measurements! Shocked

Quote:

My Sweet Mum,thanks for you mail as am glad to hear from you again.Am sorry for unable to write back yesterday.I noted the content of your mail and i also try and contact the institution incharge of my fund on what they meant by saying you should join a union.Mum,all i understood from Dr,Daniel mail never asked you to join a union,the man said we need to pay some fee before my fund could be release to you,and the only institution that can send the money convinently to them are the westernunion money transfer,the institution has branches world wide,all you need is just to send to me you contact address and your Zip Code in order to connect you to any of the westernunion location in your territory.I was also told that you can easily go an make an Inquiry in the westernunion location in your area in order for you to understand that the westernunion service work in professional way in delivery money world wide.

As for my sweater,Am 6ft Tall ,weight,60kg.burst measurement,40,lenght of my arm,12,neck measurement,make it 8.Lenght of my back from neck to hipbones,16,Hope all this will help in making the sweater for me mum,am glad to have you as my lovely mum,may you life longer forever and ever for your lovely daughter(Jane)

I shall be waiting for your reply as soon as possible,and remember mum,send to me your contact address with your Zip code in order to get you the location in your area that will convinent you to send the required fee for the release of my fund.

Yours Sincerely.
Jane

Quote:

Dear Mum,Hope all is well and you are in good condition?
I felt bad for not hearing from you since 2days ago,hope you are 100% alright?
get back to me as i wish to hear from you on wayforward on your mission to help in claiming my fund.

Yours.
Jane.

Quote:

My dear child,
I am so sorry that I haven't written to you for the past few days. My daughter, Elizabeth, was visiting me. I told her about you and she told me that I am not allowed to write to you because you are not for real and are just a scammer who is trying to steal my money. I tried to tell her that you are not, that you are a young girl who needs help. She kept saying that you are a fat and sweaty nigerian man who is trying to steal my every last dime. I have never heard of this, she knows all about it. Have you heard of sweaty men in Nigeria who steal money from people over and over? Even those who can't afford to lose it like those with sick family members or those who are about to lose their homes? I can't even believe any criminal could be so heartless. I tell you what, those people should be put to death, they should. What do you know about such things?
I am certain that you are not a sweaty man and so I am writing to you now that Elizabeth is gone. I hope you have been fine without me.
The good news is that I have finished your sweater! I am ready to send it and would like to have your mailing address so that I can send it out to you. I also bought you a gift when Elizabeth took me shopping that I will include in the package. It is very valuable so I will have to insure the package. I hope you like surprises! My Horton used to surprise me all the time. What a love that man was. Why, I'd come home from the market and find he'd set up a treasure hunt for me. Sometimes, I would be home and he'd come home from work early with a big bunch of flowers and instead of handing them to me, he'd toss them all up in the air, just as I reached for them. What a fun surpriser he was.
So my dear, do you like surprises?

I hope you are doing fine! Please write back soon. I do so enjoy your letters.

Mum

Quote:

Thanks For Your Kind Mail Mum As Am Glad To Hear From You Again,I noted the content of your mail but to my suprised,i have not heard about people scamming on internet,i dont believe this could happen,please dont allow Elizabeth to distract your attention in helping my on my inherittance,i so much believe on your ability to claim this fund for me,am lacking lot of things in school which could affect my future,please mum try your best and work on the best way to claim the fund for me in order for me to visit you in united state for the claim of the money and for all suprised items you have for me.

I shall appreciate you work on with the bank incharge of my fund on how the package fund could be received by you via courier service,also i shall appreciate you send me your contact address including your ZIP CODE,in order to know how to prepare myself in coming to your country for visiting and for the claim of my fund after you had received from the bank incharge.

As for my address,do not send the items to me for now,try and work with the bank incharge of my fund on how the fund could be claimed by you as i prefer to meet you in united state and claim both the fund and other suprised items you have for me.I believe it's also good you have my address as am stating it as follow.

The Amsterdam-Maastricht Summer University (AMSU)
P.O. Box 53066
NL-1007 RB Amsterdam
The Netherlands.

I await your response on wayforward on claiming my fund in order to visit you in United State Of America.

Yours Sincerely.

Jane

Quote:

Dear Jane
I am secretly sending this email because my family is here visiting for the american holiday, Thanksgiving. This email will have to be short.
I'll write again soon when my family leaves. They don't want me writing to you.
My zip coade is 27932
I got your address and will mail out the surprise and the sweater soon.

lots of love from your mum

Quote:

Thanks mum as i noted the content of your mail,i shall be waiting for more mail from you as i will also appreciate your concerning towards my future plan on my Education.

Yours Sincerely.
Jane

Ok, so there were no emails between November of 2007 and August 2008.

Then, I sent this from Amelia: I forgot that I had told him I'd already finished the sweater. That's ok, so did he.

Quote:

My dear sweet child,

How are you?

I am sorry that I didn't write to you for so long. I had fallen ill for quite a spell and had to stay at a nursing facility for so long. I am finally back to my own loving home to do what I want with my time. My lord, it is pleasant to have returned here, away from all of those nurses fussing over me.

I am sorry that I never did get to knit you that pretty sweater I was in mind to knit for you. I'm weak still so I can't do any knitting this time, but maybe by the Christmas holidays we can get her done for you as a gift. Would you like that?

Please write back soon and tell me how your school is going and such.

Your mum,
Mrs. Barrett

And within 24 hours, received a reply:

Quote:

Dear Mum.
Thanks for your kind mail and am very sorry to heard about your illness.Thank God all is well as i shall be glad to have the sweater as christmas gift.Mum i would not like you to stress yourself because of your age,also please take your meal and tablet at the normal time as i shall continue praying for your good health and long life.

Concerning my school,all is well at school except that my inheritance still hang in london because of little fee that must be paid before it could be release to me.I would be glad to always read from you because your health is more important to me mum.

Take good care of yourself and be bless in Jesus Name.

From Your Daughter.
Jane

To be continued.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

More interaction between myself and my daughter, Jane.

I wrote:

Quote:

Hello again my dear girl,

Thank you so much for your care about my health. That is very thoughtful of you.
So tell me, what are you studying now? What are your courses? I want to read all of the details. They won't make much sense to me because I never did much formal schooling, but I'm just happy to read about what you are doing. Who are your friends? Please tell me about them. I do like to know what is going on with the children in this regard. Things have changed so much now. When I was a girl we went for a soda pop. I remember the one time when Alice was embarrassed because of the spill on her sweater and the boys across the room were giggling. That was quite a night and so much fun. I'm sure you remember the story from last time. Do tell it to me again!

Great to hear from you sweetie. Are you coming home for Christmas?

Amelia

His reply. I really like how he answers all of my questions. Laughing

He is quite a writer.

Quote:

Sweet Mum.
Am glad you are in good condition to write back to me today being monday 1st of September 2008.I was worried for not heard from you before today but thank God i received your mail in good faith.How is your Health mum?hope you are taking your drugs and your meal in normal time?
I have been praying for you since when i heard of your Illness,and my God reveal to me that you shall not die but have everlasting life in Jesus Name.

Concerning your questions,mum am seiously survering in School,though i have just a patner in study and her name is Barbara,she's from united state,her parent leaves in New york city,but we are only friend in study and nothing more.I wish i could tell her to help in claiming my inheritance but it's unfortunate she hardly understand English and i dont want to gamble with my life.Am into Bussiness Administrative,commercial class in short.I love to be in Bussiness because my late parent are into bussiness before death took them away from me.It's a sad story to remember how my late parent satisfied me with my needs,though i always feel sad when am in needs of some books and school items without help.Please Mum pardon me if i offended you in anyway,since when i lost my parent i am not myself.I only pray day and night for God Intervention into my life because am just an ordinary girl without parent or Guidian.Mum,since when you came into my life even without i see your picture or heard your voices,i begin to feel and lmagine that my mum is back to me in good faith.Mum i would be glad you stand by me and do all you can to help me financially in good faith.I believe God would not dissapoint you and all you lay your hands on shall prosper in Jesus Name.

Am sad and needed financial help because we are about to start our summer Examination and i needed some boooks to improve in my exam and my future.

Lastly Mum,i would like you to go through the below prayer and read it day and night,believe that your God shall reward you and give you good health and everlasting life in Jesus Name.

Starting from today, you are moving from glory to glory; in anything you lay your hands shall prosper in Jesus Name. If you believe this,Say AMEN.Mum, Make sure you pray, and pray believing that God will answer. May today be all that you need it to be. May the peace of God and the freshness of the Holy Spirit rest in your thoughts, rule in your dreams tonight and conquer all your fears. May God manifest himself today in ways that you have never experienced before. May your joys be abundant , your dreams be fulfilled and your prayers be answered. I pray that faith enters a new height for you; I pray that your territory is enlarged and I pray that you step into your destiny within the ministry. I pray for peace, health, happiness and true and undying love for God.AMEN.

Your Lovely Daughter.
Jane

I think I should legally adopt this sweet girl. Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Update on this bait.

I really enjoy writing the emails from Mrs. B. I have decided that my character is not only rambly, but senile. She keeps referring to things, assuming that Jane knows about them.

Quote:

My dear girl,

I am so happy by your letters to me. Thank you for caring about my health. I worry about you not having help for your schooling, a young child should always have someone looking out for them, that's what I always say. You don't have any grown person near you who can be your parent for you and help you with all of this? I always wonder about how grown people can stop from reaching out to the young children around them. I'm sure you've heard about it takes a village to raise a child, well that's how I feel. I always care about my children even if they're not my own from birth. I would be proud to be your mother. We can make it an official process, so that I can help you. I will ask Mr. Weatherby when I talk to him next time, which as you know, will be on Tuesday. He will tell me how to do that. Then, I can help you out and I will also add you to my will so that when I pass from this lovely world, you will be taken care of forever.

Jane, write me again and tell me more about your life and yourself. I want to have a picture of you to put beside the pictures of my other children. Are you a fair girl? It doesn't matter if you are not. My dear husband used to always say: ugly puppies still need love as much as a beautiful one. He told that to the neighbor when he tried to have his daughter re-done by the doctor because she was ugly as a stump. I know you must be fine with looking the way you do, since you seem so strong. I will love you despite it.

Now, you be a good girl and write me back soon.

Love, Mum.

Jane responded and included several pictures of herself. I'm not including them here because they're stock model photos of a young woman.

Quote:

Dear Mum.
Thanks for your kind mail as am Glad to hear from you.Hope you are in good condition of Health?

Mum i noted the content of your mail and i thank you for ready to being there for me.Mum since when i received your message i feel good and cool and i believe and pray that the Lord God would continue to protect and give you everlasting life in Jesus Name.It's true i have grown person near me but they are not ready to help because they dont have money to assist financially.Mum please tell me who is Mr. Weatherby?

I noted you have good plan for me officially and i promise never to dissapoint you.

Lastly mum,please take your meal and drugs in normal time and if you could help by next week i need some tex book for my exam before the end of this month.Hope you would help mum?

Thanks and God Bless Mum .

Attached are my picture,hope you love them?

I didn't reply, so Jane wrote to me again the next day:

Quote:

Dear Mum.
How are you today?
Am sure you are in good condition of Healthy,and if so glory be to almighty God.I hope you received my picture sent in my previous mail?I also stated in my previous mail that i needed some books for my exam,hope you not dissapoint me financially?

I would be glad to hear of your Good condition as soon as possible.

Jane

I replied the next day:

Quote:

My dear sweet girl,

How are you? I am well. My health wavers. My nurse comes to stay each day and I do my best to get the rest she wants me to. It's a terrible thing to become feeble to the point of needing to rest throughout the day just to be able to get through. I remember the day when I could go all day and all night with the energy of a rabid mongoose and not bat an eyelash. Now I have to rest after just spending time on this computerator machine. I have some great news for you, dear Jane. I have talked to Mr. Weatherby about adopting you and he has started the process. He said that he will tell me what is happening and what information we need from you so that I can legally make you my daughter. Won't that be just wonderous? I am so pleased about it.

Thank you for your pictures, you are such a pretty girl. How are your studies? Have you done all of your homework? How are your friends doing? It must be hard to keep those boys from talking to you with such a pretty face. Do you like the boys?

Please write me soon. I am saddened that I can not write every day. Please do write to me when you can, even if I haven't been able to reply. My nurse Crachett is very strict about my rest time. I also have to visit the doctor often to keep track of my medication.

Your mum, Mrs. B

Jane writes a boring email, still pushing for money for her "Tex books".

Quote:

Dear Mum.
Thanks for your kind mail and am Glad to hear about your body Being alright.Am glad to hear about the Good News from you and i pray May the Lord God Gives you Everlasting live.Mum,my studies is moving well and am coping with the lecture because they are teaching in best way we could understand.Mum,i would also like you to always co-operate with your Nurse because they would want the best for you.Lastly mum,i want you to have it in mind that i would start my Exam very soon and i need your financial help in buying some tex book for my exam.Hope you assist on this?

Stay bless mum and have a nice day.

Jane

I wonder how long I can keep "her" asking politely?

Here's my reply, with a couple of half hearted trophy requests. He probably won't do them, but that's ok. I'm working on the adoption forms.
I still haven't told her who Mr. Weatherby is. (I haven't actually decided who he is yet. He's awfully helpful, though.) Laughing

Quote:

Dear Jane,

Thank you for writing again. I am so very pleased to hear from you. Good luck with all of your school work. I will be sure to help you with all of your school costs just as soon as you are added to my will and estate as my legal daughter. I am happy as a lark about this. I wish my dear husband could be here to share this with me. This is the first time I have brought a child into our family without him by my side. You will consider Horton as your father, won't you my child? Please always talk about him as your dad. That would please me to no end. Now, I need you to draw me a picture to put up with the schoolwork and artwork that I have from when the other children were young. My home is just not complete without it. I have already taken one of your photos and framed it for the mantle. It is very impersonal though. Could you please take one of those photos and inscribe it for me? If you would take one and write "Dear Mom, I love you, from your sweet daughter, Jane" on it, that would be so much better for me.

I have spoken with Mr. Weatherby and he will be sending you the forms for adoption very soon.

I look forward to hearing from you. May I please give your contact information to Mr. Weatherby so that you can talk to you directly about this?
He has some questions that he has asked of me that I don't know the answer to. For instance, will you be changing your name to Jane Bxxxxxx instead of Jane Hxxx? That is customary with adoption and would be so pleasing to Dad and I.

Your Mum

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Bingo, he's using my last name now. See how well trained he is? (This is the Ray King lad, by the way). He's volunteering to make trophy photos that I haven't even asked for. Laughing

Quote:

Dear Mom.
Thanks for your kind mail as am glad to hear from you again.Mom,hope all is well and you are in Good Condition?

I noted and understand the content of your mail,and if i might says the truth,am impressed by the way you like to adopt me as your daughter.Firstly I'm sorry to hear about the death of Mr.Horton my late Dad,May his gentle soul rest in perfect peace.Secondly Mom,am ready to accept you as my legal mom and Mr.Horton as my legal dad,you make me have so much interest in him even though his not alive.I would be glad to have your picture and my dad, Horton picture in order to show them to my room mate as my legal dad from you mom.Thirdly,i would be glad you give my details to Mr.Weatherby,give him my E-mail address and my direct phone number stated below in order for him to ask any question both on phone and on internet.Concerning the picture mom,would you like me to take a new picture and hold a big sign of love for you with the request word?if that could be alright,i am ready to acomplish your wish and hope you would like it.Lastly mom,am ready to answer your name and ready to answer Horton name because you are the only one left for me.

I would be glad to hear from you in order to get the picture as soon as possible.

Frm Your Lovely Daughter.
Jane Bxxxxxxx.

Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 2:01 am

Sounds like you have him well-trained. Nice work.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

After "Jane" offered me to take a picture with a sign, I was wondering what I'd end up with, since he's clearly not the girl in the pictures. I actually started to think that maybe she is a relative of his and he was going to have her do the photo. Nope. The result I got is hilarious.

First, here's how I replied to Jane's last email posted above:

Quote:

Dear Jane,

I have had very little time to write over the past few days as my nurse has had me resting and doing simple exercises. I did have opportunity to speak to mr. weatherby again and he will be sending you the information for our wonderful adoption very soon. I am delighted to see you have taken the name of my dear sweet Horton. He will be so pleased to see that.

Goodness me, my daughter, a picture with a sign for me is a wonderful idea! I never had thought of it, but now that you are mentioning it, it sounds like just the sort of trophy I would proudly display.

Please do take those pictures for me as soon as you can. I will tell Mr. Weatherby to be fast with the proceeding for adopting you so that you can benefit from my wealth and use the money for your school books. What is your class that has this need? Are you studying arithmetic? I always was good with the numbers, but only for fun. Women need not bother themselves with matters like that in my day.

Write back soon, Janie.

Love from your Mum.

I didn't hear back for a while, and wondered if maybe he's busy with other victims, like me, me, or Fatter Siam. Laughing

Anyway, he came through today, with an explanation of why he hadn't written:

Quote:

Dear Mom.
How are you today?
Am sorry for unable to have email you before now.I had little malaria but thank God am now in Good condition of Health.

I attached the beautiful picture requested by you to this message but am not happy for not hearing from your Attorney in respect of your good plan for me.Hope the Attorney is working to make things be in good condition for me?

Lastly mom,my Exam start on October 21st 2008,hope you would try your best and help me financially in order to pay all necessary bill before i could be allowed to sit for the exam?
I expect your respond as soon as possible.

Yours Lovely Daughter.
Jane XXXXX <----- Using my last name now.

I don't know why she would think Mr.Weatherby is an attorney. I never said that. Twisted Evil

Here is the attached picture that my lovely daughter made for me:

Laughing

(and yes, that's my last name Jane is using there, as well)

Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:43 pm

My goodness, if Jane is paying for her art education, she is entitled to her money back. Laughing

I assume she'll be transferring to a public school when she moves here. Better get those aptitude and placement tests started soon. Twisted Evil

.

Edit: if you need a Mr. Weatherby to administer them, let me know. Very Happy

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 01 Oct 2008 Posts: 11

Ha! This is the one that wrote me! I wrote her back as a lonely and widowed middle-aged man. Haven't heard back yet...

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