Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

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Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ True, but I just rechecked their life insurance policy, and it only pays out if they are 100% dead.

The kids are so looking forward to bowling after Sunday services, and it would be a shame to take that away from them. Is there any way you can convince them to remain dead?

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:13 pm

It's possible. We'll ask them if they have any objection to remaining dead, but if they decline, would it help at all for us to haggle over the percentage of life left in them? Check with the insurance provider if the percentage of death is in any way proportionate to the worth of a policy that's been paid out. I'd hate to have to return it all. I bet I could at least get them down to about 20% alive.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ I dunno. Is it time to introduce the Insurance representative into this bait to find out just how dead/alive the lads are?

It's starting to look more and more like our church bar is going to be stocked with cheap liquor instead of the good stuff.

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:32 pm

Well, I'll alert the lads to the situation, and see if they'd mind either simply being dead, or lowering their life percentage. After that, if they decline to die, we'll have the adjuster come in to verify whatever percentage of death I manage to get them to agree to. Obviously, there will be forms.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Okay, but be sure and tell them that we've already got a really nice dedication plaque ordered (maybe someone could photoshop one up). Maybe that could convince them to remain dead.

And for godspower sake tell them to get back in touch with Bamb1 Wo0ds! She thinks that since they died right when she started that she is somehow to blame!

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:52 pm

Actually it's Cammy's fault.

Cammy got Mel1nda put in jail, which led to Bamb1 taking up Mel1nda's role and doubtless causing the usual problems with a change of staff.

So blame Cammy.

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 11:37 pm

Prof,

Maybe they simply need to have an old fashioned revival right there in Chad. They could easily recoup enough money to go back home -- or better yet offer services in Abeche.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 41

Professor So And So wrote:

I just noticed the subject line of Miracle's last mail is "We are 100% Alive". Isn't being alive/dead one of the few things in life that is either one or the other, with no real gray areas? I mean, can someone be 10% dead?

After all that happened to Abamu's brother, The Leg I believe his name was, maybe he ended up having to have it amputated. Then, couldn't we say he was technically 10% dead?

And since the miraculous ones are having such a great time in Ndjamena, shouldn't they move on to some other location to start spreading the TWAT there? If they don't have a bit TWAT following in Ndjamena by now, then they really don't seem to be working the TWAT that much.

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 12:42 am

Since the "Reverends" Miracle and Andrew are now 100% alive and have so much time on their hands; It would be such an inspiration for the local heathens if they built the "Monument" as provided for in the TWAT churches publications? Imagine the flocks that would come to be converted?!? Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 1:46 am

Master of the Ood wrote:

Then, couldn't we say he was technically 10% dead?

well technically it may be more like 20%

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080810164247AAFmLM4

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 41

And if we're going to get really technical about it, we should probably factor in the fact that all these guys are completely brain dead. So, since we're determining the amount of death they've suffered based on muscle percentage, and they clearly have 0 muscle above the neck, that's going to bump up the percentages of their lower extremities. So now, our legless lad has to be at least 30% dead.

On the plus side, that means any of the lads can be beheaded, and by our calculations they're still 100% alive. I think I've just solved some of the ethical questions that have been raised before. Who ever said Math wasn't useful? Cool

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 4:48 am

^^^ Was the amputation above or below the knee? Makes a difference, you know. Smile

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 25 Sep 2008 Posts: 6

Seeing how Miracle is still reverend and is 100% alive, shouldn't he head to TWAT temple in Abeche for annyal halloween (christmas) prayers and celebrations?

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 6:50 am

If we could get them to Abeche, trust me, we would have. They are residents of N'Djamena now. I love that they do nothing all day. Laughing

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 8:17 am

Professor So And So wrote:

I love that they do nothing all day. Laughing

I imagine you sympathize, as, as far as I can tell, you also do nothing all day.

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 8:23 am

Yeah, but I do nothing on Maui. I always imagine it being a bit different than Chad, but I have no clue. Everyone here does nothing but dodge fruit and count bennies on the beach all day. Maybe they don't have it bad. Confused

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 8:25 am

Professor So And So wrote:

I have no clue.

Now there's a point on which we can all agree.

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 8:31 am

At least I only dodge fruit, and stay clear of the low-hanging variety. Rolling Eyes

<< Yes, a rolley.

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:35 am

jojobean wrote:

i bring my friend over. he come here from UK . he is slightly out of it but he loves the idea of us three going down on each other. no one else will have hijjm but I tell him we show him a good time.

The whole thing reads well up until the word "friend".

Truth is, this wouldn't be anything we haven't done in RL already, would it jojo?

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 3:28 pm

Quote:

Master of the Ood wrote:

Then, couldn't we say he was technically 10% dead?

Try 18%, based on what Hospital Burns Unit says.
eleven parts of the body each represent 9% of the total
Head
Upper back, Lower back
Chest, stomach
Left arm, Right arm
Left leg front, Left leg rear
Right leg front, Right leg rear.

And the other 1%....... Well, you figure it out....

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 5:05 pm

Quote:

Left leg front, Left leg rear
Right leg front, Right leg rear.

I don't know anybody with front or rear legs - at least not human anybodies.

Do they mean upper and lower? In which case, which part contains the knee? I'm just curious. Smile

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 20 Jun 2008 Posts: 4

^Not really. They just mean that the front of the leg (hip to ankle) is %9and back of the leg (butt to ankle) is %9. One whole leg = %18
The palm of your hand (including fingers) = %1.5

I am an old burn nurse, that's how I know so much about burn percentages.

eta: extra detail

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:31 pm

Professor So And So wrote:

Isn't being alive/dead one of the few things in life that is either one or the other, with no real gray areas?

Looks like someone needs to see The Princess Bride.... "There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do."

Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 6:41 am

Wow! I just finished reading all 145 pages. You guys and gals rock! You are an inspiration for all that I truly hope to be one day. I consider this my second job and one I take seriously. You've taught me so much. Now, time to find that mentor... BAIT ON!!!!

Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:28 am

^^ I just opened myself up to two more proteges to scare off, so jump in line. Sorry I'm the one out of the group you got stuck with, but run fast to the mentor thread and tell Cherrie I sent you. She'll hook you up with the best of the worst. Wink

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