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Stargate
Baiting Guru
Joined: 08 Feb 2005
Posts: 2301
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Posted:
Fri Sep 26, 2008 2:00 pm |
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I got this email today from a co-worker. He ran across it on woot.com. I don't want this to get into a political debate, but this is a funny email.
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Good day American taxpayer, complments of the season to YOu. Please allow me to introduce myself I am Mr. Henry PAULSON very high official of United States Treasury of United States, Washington, USA. I please to be writing you this day because someone of our mutual acquaintance Mr. BERNANKE vouch for you as trustworthy and gullible individual of high moral standards.
Through no fault of my own I am come to hard straits and although I am a proud man and father, I must beseech your partnership in resolution, an urgent and vexing matter. Through malfeasance and rascality, certain individuals of my close acquaintance have sabotage national banking system, hence an imminent disaster will befall if I am unable to secure the amount of $700,000,000,000 DOLLARS U.S with all utmost haste. This amount is currently being held by millions of fellow Americans but thus far these scoundrels refuse to release the money to me on grounds of that it is not mine infact.
Therefore I must, find a partner who can assist in the collection of this funds with, advance fee of $179.99 DOLLARS U.S a nominal amount I am sure you will agree. In return for you cooperation I am authorized to release as a token of my good faith to you one iRobot Scooba Floor Washing Robot, can thoroughly clean a floor with FOUR (4) cleaning stages, prep,wash,scrub,dry, and include one bottle of 8 OZ. (8 ounce) Scooba Juice cleaning fluid. This robots can follow walls and crisscroos rooms without need of human agency. Not to be use on carpet, laminate, stone of course I am sure you understand. for such price you would not expect to buy such Scooba but I, can assure you.
After funds of $700,000,000,000 DOLLARS U.S I will forward informations regarding fully protection of all funds, liabilities, equities and other such financial aspects. For now I must ask you to simply place your trust in me as you would a brother, for, are we, all not brothers?
I pray, that this message find it in your heart, to enter in partnership with me in interest of forestalling disastrous circumstance. Should you prefer not to assist me, with funds, I shall direct my I.R.S agents to procure the funds anyway from you, this voluntarily way is more amenable and you will atleast get a SCOOBA mop robot out of the deal, as fate wills it.
Your friend everlasting,
Mr. Herny PAULSON
United STATES Treasure |
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_________________ x20 |
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Roycropper
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7992
Location: Luxury Coffin
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Posted:
Fri Sep 26, 2008 2:06 pm |
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I was about to say we've already had one of these, then I realised it has already been 'dissapeared' into the black plastic sack behind the mod lounge for political whatnot.
I like the twist with the cleaning robot though. |
_________________ the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
x4 6Yrs x6 |
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Lord Ba'al
Master Baiter
Joined: 08 Nov 2007
Posts: 170
Location: The Kingdom
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Posted:
Fri Sep 26, 2008 11:26 pm |
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That is a lot of zero's. |
_________________ Mr Koffi John - Please return this massage to the sender if gotten in error.
Jóhn Mártins - You think you can scope me.
x1 |
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SomersetC
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 24 Apr 2008
Posts: 28
Location: Texas
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Posted:
Sat Sep 27, 2008 6:29 am |
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Quote: |
vouch for you as trustworthy and gullible individual of high moral standards. |
I'm guessing this was a fictional scam letter?
Oh well. Hillarious letter. Scooba iRobots to pay for a $700 bn bailout. |
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Mr Tambourine Man
Baiting Guru
Joined: 06 Jun 2008
Posts: 3398
Location: Magic swirlin' ship
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Posted:
Sat Sep 27, 2008 8:47 am |
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There's another version at http://www.scamorama.com/wallstreet_bailout.html |
_________________ is always Good when you have the zeal to be a hitwoman when you out of school,it makes you bold and reall and it makes you more high than any other of your friend.
NOW AMBACK FOR YOU AGAIN STURBORN SHIT
you dont have a phone.that makes makes you joe butt
Fuck you and go find something to do man. Stop disturbing me please.
This is definitely why you will remain and die in poverty, ignorant of good things and easy acknowledgment of bad things and words. Shame on you, you wicked generation children.
i went you to no that this is not a cheld pray. i went you to get back to me
we are not scammer,we hate scammer as you do.scammer make out life harder and harder,a lot of people think we are scammer,in fact,we are not!! please trustt us |
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The Man
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 2885
Location: La La Land
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Posted:
Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:16 am |
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Funny letter though.
I got one from a friend about how the $85Bn to AIG could have given every man and woman over 18 in the US $425,000.00 if given out to the people rather than AIG. Too bad the math was wrong and it worked out to $425.00 per person based on the population numbers given in the e-mail. |
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4X1X9
Baiting Guru
Joined: 17 Sep 2006
Posts: 5905
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Posted:
Sat Sep 27, 2008 1:36 pm |
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My favourite 419 spoof, although admittedly dated now as Gordon Brown has since been elevated to the highest office of them all. However just replace 'Chancellor of the Exchequer' with 'Prime Minister' and a lot of it is still relevant and very funny IMO.
http://www.nigerian419fraud.freeserve.co.uk/419seminar.htm
Quote: |
Dear
Do not be surprised or alarmed at this method of communication – I found your name through my database of idiots taxpayers.
My name is Gordon Brown and I am the Chancellor of the Exchequer in the UK. During the last few years my colleagues and I have stolen Billions of pounds from the British public and we are now looking for a trustworthy partner to assist us in transferring this money to a safe haven before the Conservative Party regains power at the next election.
We carried out this practice mainly under the guise of so called “Stealth Taxes” so that the British taxpayer couldn’t turn around and accuse us of raising the income tax rate. But as an astute businessman yourself you will realise that there are more ways of killing a cat than just kicking it in the crotch.
We have systematically raised taxes and duties on petrol, alcohol, cigarettes, pension funds, council taxes and a myriad of other items that the average British citizen is too dumb to recognise. A large part of the money raised was, of course, wasted in trying to live up to our election manifesto promises. As Tony said “education, education, education” What he meant was those of us who can afford it will always prefer to send our sons and daughters to some smart fee-paying school rather than the run down alternatives available under the “free” education system. Likewise we always prefer to have private medical treatment rather than rely on the National Health Service (Have you seen how disgusting some of those hospitals are? People can get ill staying in one of those.)
Perhaps our biggest coup was in convincing everyone that war with Iraq was necessary for world peace – that alone used up billions of pounds of taxpayer’s money.
We need to be sure of your reliability in carrying out this project with us and what we ask is that you maintain complete confidentiality. For this we are prepared to grant you 10% of the transferred fund whilst my partners and I will keep 85%; the remaining 5% will be used to cover all foreseeable expenses such as spin-doctors etc.
Please note that this is a 100% risk-free transaction and that all modalities are in place to ensure that the transfer is completed within 7 days.
If you feel that you cannot assist us in this project please let me know by return, as we will then ask George Bush if he can help us.
Yours in the Tuscany vineyards
Gordon Brown |
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_________________ I can sense tunes of unnecessary logic in your mails, meaning that you can never work with us to actualize this project no matter how we try to convince you - Mr. Chidi 0kpala
You will have to munch the statistics of the transfer so I can give to them - Mr. James Hessom Hessom
If not that you only hide behind computer and be playing prawns with us - Benny Clifford
France - Luxembourg
x26 - 2012 x258 - 2013
x263 - 2014 x160 - 2015
x204 & x1 - 2016
x177 - 2017 x81 - 2018
x85 - 2019 x9 -2020
(Grand Total 1,262) |
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Run_Left
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Posts: 5
Location: Running Left
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Posted:
Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:10 pm |
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Can we send congress on safari? |
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Corona
Baiting Guru
Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8809
Location: On ya left!
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Posted:
Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:13 pm |
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The Man
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 2885
Location: La La Land
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Posted:
Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:37 pm |
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Run_Left wrote: |
Can we send congress on safari? |
Yeah it is called a "junket" and we all get to pay for it.
@Corona: Yes congress should run left and be streded in hash conditions! |
_________________ ---
The Man
YOU ARE A CHILD OF SATAN WITH YOUR HUNGRY DIRTY BODY ,TUNDER FIRE YOU BIG HEAD IDIOT !!! HA HA HA HA HA
IS THIS HOW YOU DECIDED TO TREAT US AFTER ALL WE WENT THROUGH?YOU MADE US TRAVELLED TO ABUJA AND INDEBTED US.
"Cursed is your mother that gave birth to a family-disgrace like you. Cursed is your father he could not control his lust for anything under skate"
"hey u crakhead motherf*cking nitwit, from the way u express the cockamamy sh*t that ur dumb brain is made up of it's so obvious that u never really made it past elementary school but anywayz dogs don't have to go to school afterall."
(Lagos to Abuja)
x2
<---in lieu of a brownie. TS
x8 |
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Corona
Baiting Guru
Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8809
Location: On ya left!
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Posted:
Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:39 pm |
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