Shorty - goes pervy - my bad influence ?

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Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 12:50 am

Good luck on the Army Assault, Gomer! If Shorty pulls this off, do we have to refer to you as General GomerPyle? Wink

(We really wouldn't mind....)
Here's your battle tank icon, General!
edit: for typo..

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 9:29 pm

I gave Shorty the ultimatum and added some emotional blackmail into the message and this is his reply

Quote:

Dear Luddy,

Thanks foer writing! Every arrangements are in order!
The soldierswill raid the house tomorrow ok! my vrew will coming with them and mind, i have been held down heavily Malaria fever won't be able to show-up at the scene. But when they got you escaped, They will definately bring you to me.

Dearest Luv,

Bruce

I'm not sure if he is keeping away because of his illness or he has some premonition, anyway it's nice to hear of his ill health and continuing misfortune - poor bastard. Laughing

He doesn't somehow appear to have his previous enthusiasm, but I suppose I must come him some slack if he's ill. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 9:36 pm

Well, he won't be on the scene when the army raids (or doesn't - that remains to be seen), but if he's put the army to a lot of trouble for naught, they surely know how to get hold of him. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 12:19 pm

He now knows the game ends on Monday if he doesn't get this raid to take place (though even then I can still torment him from afar - Cotonou Evil or Very Mad

)

He sends me insane asking details to make sure it's the right house. He doesn't notice that my falsetto keeps slipping - mainly with frustraton at his questions.

I couldn't understand bits of the call. At the end he asks if I get a batt, and it took me a while to understand he wanted to know if I had had a bath. Shocked

He's talking about it taking place today or 5.00 am tomorrow morning - a night raid Very Happy

.

http://Gomer.fileave.com/LudmillaVShorty11.mp3

I tend to agree he is ill - in the head. Any mention of my security box sends him into delerium and panic. Laughing

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 12:39 pm

GomerPyle wrote:

He's talking about it taking place today or 5.00 am tomorrow morning - a night raid Very Happy

.

Sounds like a nice wake up for the residents Laughing

Quote:

http://Gomer.fileave.com/LudmillaVShorty10.mp3

I somehow feel I have heard the same conversation but I can't be sure Confused

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 1:46 pm

Sorry - wrong one. Embarassed

I have a library full of Shorty calls. I'll get that fixed.

How could I allow you to miss my Oscar winning performance of bursting into tears and having Shorty comfort me ?

He was concerned that maybe I hadn't been washing. Shocked

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 2:14 pm

I think if he fucks up this audacious army raid, he should get some emails from her captors describing cruel methods of torture. Put him in lad hell.

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 3:11 pm

Shorty is ill and stressed. Sad

Ludmi||a is there to cheer him up, and if he allows his greed to overcome the obstacles in his path, he'll make me happy for one.

If he allows Ludmi||a to be whisked off to Cotonou and get her money stolen, she still has assets in Paris, like her apartment and Mercedes convertible and who better to receive the sale proceeds ?

It's not over until I say it is, and there wil be no end to Shorty's suffering. Ask Tututi Kalabi in my siggy line. Even after he cottoned on, I still rode him mercilessly with taunts and insults - but he still thought my characters were real. Twisted Evil

419Eater is my life Joined: 11 Jul 2004 Posts: 385

I love it when a plan comes together!

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:51 pm

The nicest thing anyone can about me is that I'm a bastard. Very Happy

I received this mail from Shorty - seven times Shocked

('cause I've been sending him desperate e-mails imploring he comes to my aid Evil or Very Mad

)

Quote:

Hello Sweet love,

I have been through your mail and i really love all you ve' just said! well, am trying my best but as you can see, everything here in Nigeria is all about money!
Its a place where anybody can do anything just to enrich him/herself! But the Army Officers kept asking me for huge fnds which i can't afford. Even, am in a friend's apartment he had been the one taken care of me because i couldn't have medical bills!

Now, i just cut-out this evening and i know you will be out of that place ok?
They will be there any moment of 5:00am till6:00am tomorrow (SUNDAY).

So bear with me my Luv. And remember not to tell the Army about out and and do not tell them how much you having with you ok?

Love you sweetheart,

Bruce

Promises promises. I hope it's not another let down. If it is, I'll only torment you more. Do ya' won't it quick and easy or slow and painful. The choice - is Shorty's. Twisted Evil

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 12 Jun 2007 Posts: 95

GomerPyle wrote:

I tend to agree he is ill - in the head. Any mention of my security box sends him into delerium and panic. Laughing

"WHAT?!?! WHO TOOK IT AWAY!?!?!?" Laughing

I like how he says he loves you at the end.

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:18 pm

Sh0rty, your luv is waiting for you in her stockings and you are talking about some medical bills. Priorities, please Rolling Eyes

Just a brisk assault and your face will be saved Cool

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:33 pm

I have to admit that most Lads appear to be uncomfortable when it comes to intimate matters (though not as uncomfortable as they'd be if they knew I was a guy I bet) and it's fun to play on that vulnerability and to explore what they like.

It was interesting to note that he went straight to whether I had washed or not, perhaps indicating that a Lad has somewhat diminished requirements in the females they associate with. Very Happy

They appear to prefer virgins who are accidental sluts, but maybe that's pretty universal. Laughing

Maybe it says more about me, but works a treat with Lads. Laughing

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 11:17 pm

I hope there is lots of gunfire during the raid.

Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 11:20 pm

From what I've read about the neighbourhood, the army could be outgunned. Shocked

Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 11:46 am

Not a peep out of Shorty this morning, which is not surprising.

On balance I imagine nothing happened, and I have sent an e-mail from Ludmi||a complaining about his failure to perform.

I'll either get profuse apologies or a lot of abuse about why I wasn't there. More likely the former, in which case it's off to Cotonou tomorrow for the next phase of torture and torment. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 3:54 pm

Finally - Shorty has risen from his deathbed. Laughing

Quote:

Dear Luddy,

Am so sorry to hear this! The Army officer was there today around past 10 tis morning according how to information got to me
But i was wondering when they got me alerted that some of the officers had been to the address last night and meet XXXXXX and his crew and they ve' be bribed!

So when they got there this morning, only to deceived me that they came for their arrest meanwhile they did nothing!
They didn't do what i asked them to do neitherdo they search the house!
I have spent much for these people and now, i have turned me down and am still on my sick bed, i just manage to get someone to give me a walk to the nearby internet cafe to check your message!

Now, i don't just know what to do now, am very confused!
The short man in the picture you sent me was the XXXXXX, the Army was there today with their picture you sent me and am yet to here from them. All i heard was that they ve' been taken to the police station and i can't say whats going to happen next!

Let me know the situation of things as it goes,

Sweet Love from bruce.

Tremendous - the XXXXXX person lives there, but is not the person in the photograph. Laughing

Who do you think I am - the miracle man. I just work with what I've got, and make the rest up on the fly. I had a photo an address and a name. The address and name matched, so I threw in the phot for good measure. Actually it's of the Lads from the previous house where Shorty got arrested Laughing

so if the police see that, he is in deep doo doo.

Second message.

Quote:

Subject: SCREAM AND SHOUT FOR HELP NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Luddy,

You must act like a wild girl! I know all these will happened so thats why i warned you not to go to cotonou! I do mean you come to meet me in algos direct, there must have been peace of midn for you and i.
Now, am sick just because of you and don't know what to do!

I think the best thing you must do now is to scream! Like i told you the other time at the airport, or else, this greedy ones would kill you wherever they take you to! Shout loud outside! They cannot beat you till death ok!

Now, you are in the position to rescue yourself, i have tried helping you and now, you must help me and help yourself too!
I was you to follow my instruction now! Carryout and let people here your voice louder! Call them by the name "KIDNAPPERS" say these words" PLEASE PEOPLE HELP ME!, SAVE ME, THEY WANNA GO KILL ME" If poeple on the street or in the neighbouhood heard these, they will definately get the people down and come to your rescue but if you cannot do all these, i don't know what you will end you thereafter ve' been taken to cotonou!

You just have to shout for help and stop behalving like a baby !!!

Clearly Shorty isn't a trained hostage negotiator. Laughing

either that or he has never successfully concluded a negotiation where the hostage got out alive.

Now I need to get more detail and start filling his mind with the terrible things happening to Ludmi||a - which to him is her having her money stolen. Laughing

Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 7:44 pm

Some comedy double acts are manufactured - but Shorty and Ludmi||a are just born naturals - read this - luckily I didn't have a mug of coffee in my hand

Quote:

Sweet luddy,

This is to confirm that i just got informations from the Army officers and they said there were with XXXXXX and 3 other guys and they said to them that you have been sent back to Paris since 3 days ago! (Whaaaaat ? he knows nothing about Ludmi||a - my fantasy becomes reality Shocked

)
I called and i told them its all lie that they should search all the rooms in the house! They confirmed that the house was a Duplex and i told them you are been held up in the upper room in the house!

So one of criminal ran out to call the police and they came to arrest all of them but i know it was a planned work by these soldiers! (Sounds like fun Laughing

)[/i]
One of my boys whom had been part of the people who visited the scene was also arrested and now and am yet to know where he had been taken to now! [i](Can baiting be this good Laughing

)[/i]
So may i have any contact of your people in Either paris or Russia because now, i don't know am to trust again. I have sent people to save life but ony went there to collect bribe from XXXXXX abd his evil men! [i](Sounds to me as if some deviant bastard has been at work here Laughing

)

So kindly get back to and make you you stab them all and do not allow them force you into the car when taken to cotonou.

Make sure you get your knife and stab them as much as you could!
Furthermore, scream and cry like i told you ok??? People will definately coem to your aids, I trust American Ladies, they are very smart at that doing this. No one ever could cheat on them, Never!

Bruce

Absolutely priceless. I wish I could contact the baiter looking after XXXXXX but they have their own problems, but I think I may have another badge. I could have more than that, as there's no telling what's happened to XXXXXX's Gang. If only I could have some report of what happened.

Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 9:28 pm

This is freaking epic! I hope you can get some confirmation of this and add you your badge count.

Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 9:52 pm

Should we really believe that these guys could be bribed:

Surely would the Police understand the situation if Sh0rty just explained them everything. Instead of that he asks Ludm1lla to do the dirty work. O tempora... Rolling Eyes

So is it Cotonou next? I hope the Police there has lower service rates Very Happy

Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 10:02 pm

The baiter who can confirm this is offline due to the hurricane so that is not possible, but from Shorty's previous reports I'd say it's accurate, and apart from his chum there's the other gang.

I haven't really helped from all the chaos and misinformation I've spread Twisted Evil

and Shorty's confused at what's going on. In total there are three sets of scammers involved, all with different stories about what's happening.

I think Shorty's taken the safe option, having already been arrested once, and if the police manage to work out he is behind both of these events his goose will be cooked.

The marvellous thing is that he has opened up the possibility of Ludmi||a's Dad getting involved from Sverdlovsk and her agent in Paris - so the chaos I can now add on top of this is mind boggling.

He's a dream to bait.

Baiting Guru Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 2531 Location: AU

ahhh sweet sweet kaos

Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 11:29 pm

Superb!

You've got a gem there, Gomer. But I suspect you'll be losing him soon, they probably don't have wireless in the local jail.

Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 11:45 pm

The independent report says that he is already on the run from the police, if the police are to be believed (and who knows in Nigeria).

That would explain why he has kept away from the raid. The danger is that his pal will shop him, but Shorty said he is staying at another pals place due to his malaria attack, but he sounded fine on the phone, so I guess he is laying low.

It's easiest to think of him as 'Gollum' - a pathetic creature that slinks around with evil intent and the brains of a sardine, but always managing to put all his friends in harms way and avoiding any risk to himself.

I'll just keep pounding away at him until he has no friends left and I can finally nail him. I'll give him a Ludmi||a call tomorrow - full on hysteria just to wind him up, and then I'll bring in her Dad - now that really will be wild. I'll use my best 'faux' Russian English he'll barely be able to understand. Laughing

Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 12:38 am

Ludmi||a has e-mailed Shorty - maybe for the last time (if it is her P0pz and the evil Dmitri Nabok0v will fill the void in his life - and it has occurred to me that I can use them to pump him for information as to what has happened.

I'm loving this. Very Happy

Don't ask me how Shorty falls for this crap - but he does - and it's gonna get worse, much worse. Twisted Evil

Quote:

Hi Mr Bruce

I know you have really tried to help me in best way you can.

I was so excited to think I was going to be with you and I made effort to be in best underclothings as that is all they let me put on so I do not run away.

I am so sorry this happened when you were not well and they have given me food but I only think is so I am not ill on trip to Cotonou. I have sent e-mail to paris and Sverdlovsk so my agent know what is happen and maybe they can contact you, I tell you agent is Dmitri nabokov but be careful with him as he is like this Olatunji bastard pervert so maybe it is best you speak to my Popz as he will do anything to look after me.

I will see if they let me go with hotel security box as I have no place I can hide it and anyway I also have aprtment and Mercedes car in paris and Popz is rich man also.

What is hurting me most is that boy I wanted to meet with so much is not well and was not able to get to me when I was feeling so much I need him.

Please if he contacts you, tell him how well I know you and I think maybe Popz is thinking we are engaged to be married but this is Soviet way you understand. he is very old fashion man and he does not like hanky panky stuff unless is engaged, you know what I mean.

If he thinks another man sees me in foto with little clothes and not engaged he will be very angry over it, but I have told him how nice you are.

I will try very hard to call you on fone tomorrow but I cannot know what will happen to me. This makes me very worried but I am ging to keep pure as best way I can even if I have to stab any man.

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