Nerv Super Safari - worst ending ever! 9/23

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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 3:04 pm

I just got my NERV tattoo #14 last week. I was also working on another mugu to get himself a tattoo. However this one claims that there isnt anyone there to give him the tattoo, and as usual, he asks if its possible for me to send someone to tattoo him.

Well this time around, I do have someone to give it to him. The opportunity has arise for me to send the recently converted NERV priest to meet him, baptise him and offcourse tattoo him in a painful homemade way.

Lets see if i can pull it off, since one is in Ivory coast and the other apparently in Ghana.

Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 4:47 pm

Could be a bit dangerous, especially if he catches something from dirty needles?
Would be a heck of an accomplishment if you pull it off.

Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 6:48 pm

I hope the newly minted NERV priest in a fit of greediness doesn't tell the potential convert to back off ooooooooooooooooooo. Maybe you could tell the priest to make it especially painful & super unsanitary as a test of faith for the new guy. Twisted Evil

As always, amazing stuff you got going on.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 6:56 pm

Yakuza, I'm glad you are back, and continuing the NERV traditions. Very Happy

A safari to get a tattoo, and one lad doing the tattoing to the other??
Brilliant! I have every confidence that you will succeed here. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 7:40 pm

Well here we go.

Gendo Ikari (me)
MR h4KK0RE
Pastor M1ke (now a nerv priest!)

(( Gendo Ikari (me) to Pastor M1ke (now a nerv priest!) ))

Quote:

Honorable pastor M1ke;

Are you able to travel to Ghana? There is another prospective priest of NERV. If you can somehow get yourself to Ghana and help this new convert, we will meet you later in Ghana to provide you and him with the funds that are necessary. I am currently working to fix my legal status in Japan to travel to that country.Sadly no other form of money transfer can take place unless they are done so personally. This seems to work best for all of us since you dont have to go all the way back to Nigeria and our dear brother needs to be baptized and tattooed.

The following video explains how to provide NERV baptisms:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-mQg7H5fZY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOdTdiJqpa4&feature=related

Is it possible for you to travel to Ghana and show us that you are a REAL priest of NERV and is not doing this for just the money? If you do so, I will meet you personally and provide you with at first 25,000 USD and the rest in December. If you travel to Ghana you must baptise a new member like in the video and tattoo him. We will provide you the instructions on how to do so. Then both of you would meet me in a Ghana Airport to receive the money.

Is this at all possible for you? we are trying our very very best.

Regards

_________________

((Gendo Ikari (me) to MR h4KK0RE

Quote:

Dear brother, I have some news,

If you are located in Ghana, we have a NERV priest that is currently located in Ivory coast. We are going to see if he is able to travel and meet you in Ghana. He would arrive there, baptize both you and your brother and then perform the tattoo ceremony himself.

Still it would be up to you to provide to take the necessary photos, and if its possible, take video of all this account. Once the video and the rituals have proved that both of you are real men of faith in jesus in heaven in god in the angels, then I will meet all three of you and provide the promised funds and enjoy some time learning about you and your country.

If you still wish to go forward, I will require a photograph from [color=black]you and your brother. [yes, is two mugus and not one] 2 forms of Identification for both. A security photo must be provided to ensure that you and your brother are the same as in the Identification. This photo must have both of you holding a paper that says "Soon our soul will be owned by NERV". All prospective priests must take these photos, please observe the examples provided.

this ofcourse, unless you are able to travel to ivory coast.
Best of regards.

Gendo.

(attached stuff)

Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 8:11 pm

On the edge of my seat... Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 3:00 pm

We are almost set! i am not posting 4 or 5 emails since they are redundant and are mostly about me telling them to re read my previous emails...

Here we are:

Quote:

hello brother i am very happy to here form you i am really happy and i thank you for everthing you have done for me.well i am ready to meet him and he should come to Ghana and arrive at accra airport and i will come there and meet him there and bring him home so that he can do all what he has to do if you want too you can contact me on this number ************** this is my number you can call me if he arrive at the airport.my full name is h4kk0re thanks for everything

He is ready Smile

to receive the nerv priest!

Quote:

My Dear Brother In The Lord NERV
Give me the address of the NERV priest in ghana i will travel to meet him in Ghana to baptise them and tattoo them in the name of NERV i waith for the address and The Instructions to move and do my work under NERV priest pastor yours members pastor m1ke

Damn right, he is ready to travel to Ghana!

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 3:12 pm

Awesome baiting...... clapping

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 4:40 pm

OOOOOOOO! Yakuza! u so good! Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 15 Sep 2008 Posts: 24

How can I be as good as you?!?! Shocked

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:59 pm

My instructions to the traveling NERV priest!

Quote:

GRAND NERV INSTRUCTIONS

Once you arrive at the airport, the future priests will be there to meet you. They are currently getting their papers ready, i will send your their pictures and information so you can recognize them once you are there. They have been told and accepted to take you home with them. They will provide you with food and a place to stay. Anything that you request will be looked after carefully. they will do anything you want them to do. But follow this form of acting when you meet them.

When you first meet them, you must kiss their foreheads. Then all three of you must go to a cool and nice place and pray for 3 hours. READ THE BIBLE BROTHER! BRING ONE WITH YOU!

Then go with them to their house to eat and prepare the baptism and tattoo. They should have what you need. If not, make them get it as soon as possible. They must also have a video camera ready to take video of the baptism and the tattoo making.

Brother! you must be quiet and not talk much, tell them with a great voice that you are a priest of nerv and that their questions will be ignored until they are tattooed and baptised, for the devil might still live in their bodies. You have authority, you do as you wish! but follow what god wants, do what nerv wants.

If they ask, do show them your tattoo.

WHATEVER YOU DO, YOU MUST ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, YOU CAN HAVE NO ERRORS, YOU CANNOT ACT WITH DOUBT!!!

GOOD LUCK MY BROTHER

NEW BORN BAPTISM CEREMONY.

With the second coming of Jesus Christ coming soon. There needs to be a purification of our minds and our bodies, our hearts and our souls. To do this, we do a simple ceremony to remind us that we must be pure and ready for the arrival of Christ.

Please look at the videos carefully, you must dress as similarly as possible as what is being worn on the pictures. you must have a red headband and they a white headband. All of you must go deep into a river or lake. Then submerge as to cover all of their body in water and stay there for at least 35 seconds. All of their body must remain there for that time.

Once you come out you will do a quiet prayer and raise your hands to the sky. And say the words 'God is upon us!, Jesus is Upon us! the Holy Spirit is Upon us! NERV is the true way. We give our life to Jesus Christ!, We will not fail!

Then They will come and you will ask them the following: Do you Believe in Jesus? Do you Believe in God? Do you believe in the Holy Spirit? Do you have faith in NERV?. Then push them under the water for at least 3 seconds. Their entire body must be covered by the water.

That is all of the New Born Baptism ceremony. It must be made into a video, uploaded and sent to us.
Nothing less will be accepted.

As a piece of advice, we hope that you do that ceremony, It gives us further prof that you and them are real Christians that does this for God, and not just for the money.

Video examples.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-mQg7H5fZY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOdTdiJqpa4&feature=user

TATTOO INSTRUCTIONS

1. Get a safety pin. The bigger the gauge of the safety pin or needle you use, the better and darker the tattoo will come out. It'll also making the tattooing process a lot more easy.

2. Sterilize the safety pin by washing it with cool and clean water. Dry it off. [notice that this is not the best cleaning procedures... ]

3. Buy some India Ink. They should have it already

4. Open up safety pin and dip into ink.

5. Have old rag towel ready, this gets messy. Poke safety pin with ink with medium pressure to puncture skin. Every time after I punctured the skin with the safety pin, I would then dip the safety pin in the ink tube to "refill" the safety pin. You have to penetrate the epidermis and hit the dermis with ink on the safety pin to permanently die your pigment. Its takes alot of "dots" or "punctures" to make a line or dot.

6. With a damp rag, wipe away the excess ink. What ever doesn't wash away is permanent. You may lightly wash with water it if needed. If not full enough with dots, then just go back to the safety pin and ink and keep puncturing away. When finished with your tattooing, bandage it up with some clean cotton rag or such. After one hour, slowly remove the bandage and carefully wash the tattoo.

7. Do not re-bandage the tattoo. You want to keep the tattoo from scabbing too fast and raising the pigment with it. Keeping your tattoo wet is essential to the care of your tattoo or else the tattoo will not work. Apply lotion about three to five times per day or whenever it feels tight or dry. Use it sparingly and only apply the lotion with freshly cleaned hands. Use the lotion for two to three weeks.

Do not scratch or pick at the tattoo while healing.

No direct sunlight for two to three weeks.

No soaking in water, no swimming, hot tubbing, or direct shower water beating for two to three weeks. If you do, the water-filled scab will simply float away! But do keep it clean.

If it starts to itch, use olive oil, or cooking oil if necessary [...again Smile

]
If it becomes infected, i will look at it when i meet with everyone and cure it. if necessary pay for the doctor once i am there.

Good luck brother! Tell me when you think you will get to the Accra Airport. prepare yourself for the trip and memorize all of this email DO NOT SHOW THEM THIS INFORMATION since they are yet to be priests of nerv.

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:14 pm

Brilliant job!

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:20 pm

And email for the mugus awaiting the traveling priest!

Quote:

Dear Brothers,

The priest will come soon to meet both of you. I will email you soon to tell you when he comes, but he will not go to the Accra airport UNTIL you provide me with the pictures of both of you and ID cards for identification such as a passport.

You see brother, we are doing this for his own protection. Last month one of our NERV priests was kidnapped and we had to pay 500,000 USD to set him free. [Perhaps this will give them some ideas Wink

] Therefore, to maintain his safety, we must make sure he knows fully who he will meet.

Dear brother, when he goes there, you are not to talk to him, only answer to what he needs and asks. Please provide him with food and a place to stay. He wont need much since he is a very modest man.

Brother, you need a video camera to film the baptism and tattoo ceremonies. You will also need some India ink and a safety pin.

Get all of this ready and send us the information, so that our priest can go there safely with no danger of kidnapping.

We expect quick replies.

Regards

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:53 pm

Oh dear, I certainly hope the newest NERV priest doesn't wind up kidnapped, tortured, & left for dead or...gulp...actually dead. Laughing

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 7:45 pm

From Accra future priests:

Quote:

hello my brother i am now ready for everything he is come to do for me but how i dont understand how come the priest lives ivory cost? ok when he comes he should come to any where in accra and he should try and phone me on this number ********** i will come and pike him any where he is dear brothere one more thing i am not a bad man and i am not like that nevr is my drame of me life i will not do sach a thing and i dont have much money on me to take care of him too so plz help me.

and my quick reply.

Quote:

Dear brother, there are many priests all over the world, and the closest one to your location was in ivory coast. He wont need much to take care of, just to let him sleep in your house and a little bit of food for a day or so.

Sir, please provide me with the pictures i asked so i can provide him with a way for you to identify him. If you do not cooperate, then do not waste my time or the time of the priest.

I will give him the phone number. he will be at the airport. Brother, have all that i asked in the previous email, please read it again.

Regards and quikly reply.

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 8:07 pm

Great job, Yakuza. The whole NERV saga has been one of my favorite baits since I joined, so it's great to see you back around. My favorite line in your e-mails was the one about how the church paid out $500k in ransom once to a kidnapper. That was genius. I really hope he at least mentions that to some of his buddies.

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 9:47 pm

Fantastic tattoo instructions Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:01 pm

Here we wait with baited breath......

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:30 pm

Mugu is second thinking about making tattoos:

Quote:

My Dear Brother in the lord NERV.
Please i need the future priest picture for identification and his full name for security porpuse.Dear brother in the lord would the future priest provide an artist that will draw the tattoo making on him while i will baptim him in the name of NERV?Because i am not an artist.yours member pastor Mike c Nze4digh1be

to which i sent a quick reply

Quote:

Dear Brother;

making a tattoo is not too hard, just draw it and follow the instructions that i provided. I believe that the new nerv priests are just jokers and just want to waste my time, have tried calling them?

Regards

Then he replied:

Quote:

My Dear Brother in the lord NERV i am ready to ravel to ghana now.what do i do now ?
Yours member pastor Mike c Nzeadighibe

to which i replied:

Quote:

Dear brother, we can wait for them to email us the pictures, but that might take many days. You can try calling them on the phone that i gave you and set it up and set up trust. If so, please go ahead and go to Ghana, try your best in the tattoo, just try, it doesnt matter if it is not perfect, god does not search for perfection, but human try.

Have you read and understood all the instructions that i gave you? on regards to tattoo, baptism and activities? if so, please go forward, go to Ghana.

Regards

the ghana mugus that would receive the priest are not as cooperative as i would want them. I am also having another mugu getting tattoed in ghana, if these dont turn up, i have a spare one.

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:38 pm

NERV priest(s) getting amature tatt by firt time tattoo artists HILARIOUS!!! clapping

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 2:23 pm

NERV priest is on his way Very Happy

Quote:

My Dear Brother in the lord NERV i am on my way to ghana now please contact the new nerv priests and ask them to waith for me and to receive me because i don.t know ghana very well.Yours member pastor M1ke c Nze4digh1be

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 20 Sep 2008 Posts: 3

I can't till the outcome of this one Laughing

first time tattooist with a safety pin LOL!!

Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 4:00 pm

bloody mugus would not kidnap the nerv priest, much less even meet him!
I got this today, I think... he is pissed off, but... well he is doing his best not to insult me.

Quote:

i am here in ghana since sunday till now no body to received me.i thank God for all he has done let all the golory go back to God i spent my time and money to ghana for God.s work and your boy used me as he want may God bless all of you i am going back to abidjan now i will sell my handset and other things to pay for my transport since i start this transation with you forst you promised me for forst aid treatment you did not do it.secondly now you thing that God is a fool you sent me to ghana without any transport money and kelpt me on a dazert no water no food thank you very much and may God see you through your memeber m1ke c nze4d1gh1be

Well I just got tattoo NERV priest #15, and he happens to live in Ghana, ill see if i can keep this mugu in line for a couple of days more.

Quote:

Wait brother!, dont go, did you call them?
I have another NERV priest in the area, and I am arriving in Ghana in 2 days.

Are you still there?

Regards

Lets see what happens now.

Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 4:21 pm

I hope he's still there!!! In all fairness, you did warn him that these were potential jokers. Rolling Eyes

Hope he gets robbed @ machetepoint for his phone.

Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 4:28 pm

These tattoos are absolutely outrageous. That is so incredible.

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