Red hot poker up the a*** anyone?

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:11 pm

Quote:

gouge his remaining EYES out

did he have more than 2 to start off with then?

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

With the help of suggestions from Yastreb and firehouse5, and plenty of egging-on from my gman attorney character, I convinced my lad that he will only get his ransom dollaz if he comes up with something truly apocalyptic.

He may be a complete dickbrain, but you have to admit he gave it a pretty good shot. Note: you might want to sit down before you read this...

Quote:

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 10:23 pm

If it isn't too late too make a suggestion,perhaps a glass rod inserted ito the privates and then broken.

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 10:47 pm

Hehe... I love the 'pepperish water' remarks.

Quote:

There's not much more to add, your lad seems to have read every fetish BDSM How to Please Your Loved One Manual

No, there are more of 'em. Embarassed

You could have 'em do a Pear of Anguish thing with a shoe-horn. You could involve large barnyard animals, car wash nozzles... worlds of possibilites out there.

And the 'kidnappers' should take pictures of him doing degrading things, not just those things being done to him. Otherwise the ransomer will believe that the ransomee can hold out until help comes. With those pictures I mentioned, the ransomer believes that the ransomee has lost hope and self-respect. Easy on the mutilation, too... the ransomer might not accept damaged goods.
Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 10:48 pm

"He forced me to dress up as a viking warrior with a blood eagle, my wrists was covered in dog shit, chop sticks glued into my ears"

What, no trophy pic of this? Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:48 pm

^^yes, that was the best part. chopsticks on the ears would be very painful! Laughing

Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 2:19 am

He went through all that torture, and yet he was able to type an email to you describing it all? He must be a tough lad.

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

My lad's mind has been seriously screwed up. I didn't suggest any of these:

Quote:

But just in case my lad is running out of steam, I've suggested something called the "Ham4s H00ter", which will be quite spectacular if he goes with it. Watch this space!

I have also set the scene for getting some trophies at a later stage. But for now this is all so much sick fun that I don't want it to degenerate into a debate about why the all-powerful head of Ham4s in Pakistan can't lay his hands on a digital camera.

N

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 12:11 pm

Quote:

You will know I am not a twat by the time I am done with him.

Hmmmm. Now there is an interesting idea. Rebait him and make him a TWAT. Laughing

Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 12:20 pm

Yastreb wrote:

He should feel honoured - after all, a King of England met his death via a red-hot poker up the back passage!

To gain first-hand experience of how that feels, I recommend the 'Notun Moyna' curry house in Croydon.

Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 2:34 pm

Tell him to take two aspirins and write back to you in the morning! Razz

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Mercy me, as Seymour Skinner would say:

Quote:

A rather half-hearted attempt at the full Ham4s H00ter though - he left out a few vital elements that I had suggested. I will try again.

N

Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 8:36 pm

@Ninastian : hilarious bait ..can't believe I missed it until now. Laughing

Are you keeping some kind of inventory of lost body parts? He's over his anal phase it seems, maybe you should ask him about that more explicitly.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

He will most certainly have to send you those pictures, so you can finally send him the money. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 10:21 pm

Why don't they hang, draw, and quarter him? Smile

Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 11:27 pm

I created a rather nasty form of execution for a short story recently - the Death of Nine: Scourging, Flaying, Salting, Gelding, Blinding, Hanging, Drawing, Quartering and Beheading.

They could apply most of it still.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 14 Sep 2008 Posts: 4

Tell him to keep an eye out for his payment.......

Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 3:27 am

I get great ideas from the lads sometimes more often than other baiters. Cannot wait to see how this one plays out.

Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 4:15 am

I'm still fixated on the verb "caressing" used early on. Embarassed

gives one pause.

also it's good to know 3rd world countries are centuries ahead in ocular reconstruction surgery.

Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 6:13 am

Quote:

I created a rather nasty form of execution for a short story recently - the Death of Nine: Scourging, Flaying, Salting, Gelding, Blinding, Hanging, Drawing, Quartering and Beheading.

nice to see you didn't brake his fingers and remove his finger nails,
very considerate allowing to still type his letters of demand Wink

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Now THIS is what I call a Ham4s H00ter! Razz

Quote:

[Edited to remove some of the whingeing]

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:32 am

What a relief that at least he is willing to forgive you in the end! Very Happy

(as long a you pay, that is...)

what a complete moron, hope you can keep him going for a bit longer and make him run out of bodyparts to cut/burn or poison...

Thumbs up

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:35 am

Excellent read. Absolutely hilarious. You have to push for pictures though. I am not sure who is sicker, you or the mugu.

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:07 pm

Superb..... absolutely superb.

Entertainment fo the highest quality. I cannot wait to see the pics in the hall of shame when (if) they arrive from your poor lad.

WHy not make him a TWAT? It's an excellent suggestion, but I'd add a tiny bit, get him staked out on the side of the pyramid, covered in "pepperish water" with his H00ter signpost inserted and "caressing" his anus?

OMG... I'm just as sick as you are!!!! Shocked

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:27 pm

What a dickface. Tell him you're relieved to hear he still has all of his body parts, be it in odd places .. Laughing

Red hot poker up the a*** anyone?	View next topic View previous topic