Dan - 'Spear me not with your words'

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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:15 pm

To a stuntman agency Roy put him in touch with...

Quote:

Dear Xxxxx,

Man i did'nt receive anything from you man,watsup with you,i need to see some photos of you please,hope to hear from you soon

Dan

My reply:

Quote:

I NEED A STUNTMAN, WHY DO YOU WANT MY F*CKING PHOTO?

I WANT YOURS

MUPPET

Quote:

This are my pictures,when can i start Rolling Eyes

Dan

This is one of a series of 5, he has already sent to P4ris H1lton and Roy.

Quote:

We dont need stuntmen who bravely sit in a f*cking chair.

Do you know what a stuntman is?

This is from my email I sent you IN FEBRUARY:

Quote:

Send me a picture of you doing a stunt that I can use
to sell you to a studio. anything exciting looking, a jump
from somewhere high, something with fire or water, its up to
you, just make it look good.

It only has to LOOK dangerous, don't go hurting your self. (Well you can if you want to, but it'll only start an ethics thread...)

If I can get a studio interested in you as a stuntman, I can get you
into the UK or the USA, depending on what the film is,
and where it's being made.

One Love Brother,

Xxxxxx

Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:32 pm

To be fair to the lad Roy, that chair is on a dangerous tilt! Laughing

I look forward to reading more on this muppet's show soon.

Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 8:13 pm

Dangling upside down over a crocodile/tiger fish infested river? with the rope burning?

You have a lad for life there Roy, well done Very Happy

Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:22 pm

Quote:

Ok i will

Really? I hope so.

Quote:

I look forward to seeing what you can come up,
The attached photo got the sender, Rob Smirtz, a $200,000
part in a Hollywood blockbuster.

I can then send anything you can provide me with to my contacts at Fox and Paramount, to find you a job.

Dan also has an offer from his football agent:

Quote:

i have no idea what you are talikng about.

Either find your own way to my office or think about videos, or
travel to our African office at the Stade R0bert Champr0ux, in
Abidjan, Cote D'Ivoire.
We have a full time scout there, who can interview and assess you.

Otherwise forget it, sorry

and, after much begging, I have given him an email for Ryan Giggs, who will win a lottery any minute now, I guarantee it.

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:31 am

Dan tells me he is buying a camera, he will be a proper little trophy machine then.

I have put him in touch with one of his football heroes, Ryan Giggs, who he has upset already.

Quote:

Dear Ryan,

How are you today,i hope you are fine.

I am very sorry about the last compliment,i did'nt know that the word will get you pissed off,please sorry for that,i was really insane that yesterday forgive me,and spear me not with your words.

Please Ryan kindly tell me more about your football life.

Hope to hear from you sooner.

From Dan

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:58 am

Ouch

so either dangerous stunts or he will be speared Very Happy

Nice to see he keeps on giving.

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:02 am

I wonder if you could show Dan, Bombadier's "Action Jackson" videos, and say that this laddie was awarded $100k for his efforts.... Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

What do you want to bet that Dan buys a camera, but it gets stolen from him by armed robbers? Dan is an armed robber magnet.

I really, really, really, really (insert more really's) really want Dan to get beaten to a pulp by Stanley. At least then when he tells his tale of woe to Roy there will be a hint of truth in it.

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 5:22 pm

That remids me Jayhawk, Interpol got a mention from Dan:

Quote:

Let me know if you get this, I enclose a signed photo.

By the way, are you the one who crashed Wayne's Aston Martin? He showed me a photo of it crashed the other day, he was very upset with you.

Ryan Giggs

Quote:

Dear Ryan,

That was true,the interpol was the people that did,it was really unbelievable.

So how are you doing,i hope you are fine.

Well it was true,i tried it,it was not going,so how is everything i'll enclose me picture to you after i recieve your reply.

Please Ryan i need you to tell me more about your football life,i heard that it was really impressive,i'll like to hear more.

I am online now,i'll be waiting for you,

From your friend,
Dan

I'll send him the photo of the crashed Aston, to cheer him up.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Roy, if I remember correctly that car had some sort of mechanical problem on the road and Agent Jones pushed it off a cliff. Dan was not very happy. He really wanted that car.

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 9:15 am

Dan wants to aplogise to Wayne Rooney, but still blames you, Jayhawk.

Sadly Wayne isn't bright enough to work a stapler, never mind a computer.

Quote:

Please ask wayne if there is anyway i can contact so i can plead with him,i am really really very sorry for that,it was the interpol's fault,please i need to plead with him,you need to help me.

From Dan

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 9:51 am

Dan is an absolute treasure.... Laughing

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:49 am

So much for the f*cking chair Laughing

: Dan just sent nude pics to Paris H. and the only reasons why I did not post them here is, that they are NSFW and I am in the office and that they would not be tolerated at photobucket Sad

This lad is a hazard for himself and his own worst enemy. I wonder if it would be an act of condemnable ladhugging to feel pitty for this guy Embarassed

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 12:20 pm

^^ yes.

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 1:33 pm

Dan definately is something special... he's so irritating and annoying that I can't stop following the baits...
I think everybody here really hopes he finally gets beaten-up completely or ends up 'stredded, brook and dieting' in some remote corner of his country and is never heard of again... Unfortunately he's still around as his sheer laziness seems to prevent him from getting in real trouble...

Great work! I really hope you can inflict some good lad-pain on him!

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ We're working on some pain for Dan. See the "Stanley" thread.

Like I said, Dan is pretty proud of "little dan" and will show him off fairly freely.

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:54 pm

Dan still hasn't sent (in the "Stanley" thread) his naked pics.

I don't know whether to be upset that he picked "Paris" first or relieved that I've been spared "little Dan" for now.

Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 9:07 am

Here are some oh is "save for work" throphies ...

I know, that it would be a lot better to have his face and breast on the same pic as the sign, but for some reason I am pretty sure, this is really him Very Happy

Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:08 am

If he only knew about his loving fans on this board clapping

wonderful, Enno!

(And where are the other ones?) Cool

Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 3:55 pm

^^^^

PM me ur mail and you can see the little Dan growing slowly from pic to pic (three pics to the price of € 0 for honored eater members) Wink

Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 3:15 pm

^^^ How much for you to promise NOT to send them?

We hope to have some pictures of Dan getting a kick in the nadgers very soon. We'll keep you posted in the 'Stanley' thread.

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:18 pm

Didn't know where else to put this, just saw Bombardier's videos...Dan has some big shoes to fill...

and I think it does a good job in illustrating the abject poverty that these scammers are subjected to. Evil or Very Mad

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