i need help, seriously.

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Wannabe Baiter Joined: 10 Jul 2008 Posts: 98

Hello baiters,

I need help from you. yes, I am an addict.

it has taken me several weeks to come to terms with my addiction and i find myself yearning for more even now. I have tried to cut down but sometimes the mokey takes over, i start to get itchy and my fingers tremble.

for several months now i have been coming here, looking for a fix chasing the digital dragon and the more often i indulge the more i need the next time.

i sit at my desk helplessly pressing the refresh button in hope there is sometihng new to ingest that will feed my addiction.

and so i turn to you, i need help to overcome my addiction, so what i need is a laptop with wireless capabilites and HSDPA for the 'on the go' fix. a sony should do the trick they are about £1500 for a good one.

i can supply western union details, i use those because i travel alot. i know £1500 is a lot of money but i have a trunk under my staires that you can have, its full of stuff i will need £500 for postage tho.

please help me, my parents died in a horrible traffic accident this morning and i'm upset.

i'm single too and i have a lottery ticket you can have, it won last weekend.

please help please *cry* cry*

Scam Sandwich.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:42 am

Mr Sandwich,

I promise to send the required fees but we will require a photograph of yourself balancing an Atlantic salmon above your head whilst holding a Stradivarius in your left hand and a lump of slightly stale Portuguese blue cheese in your right hand. You must understand that this will be required to demonstrate your true commitment to our cause.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 10 Jul 2008 Posts: 98

i can but i live in central australia so i will need expenses to get a helicopter to catch the fish, i can send you my western union details and if you can transfer £5000 i will take the photograph for you.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 11:06 am

I can assure you that the addiction only gets greater over time.

Of course, there is a cure, if you can safari a lad to the North Pole I'm pretty sure you'll have satisfied your craving Wink

.

Great to have you onboard!

beers!

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 11:33 am

Scam Sandwich. Trust me. I am a Nurse.

Please come with me. We have a nice relaxing room off the east wing of the Mod lounge for members like you. I will personally see to your issue and find the appropriate method of control.

I will need you to wear these 'wrist trinkets', and for you to close your eyes while I give you a relaxant.

Come on. This way sir.

We have a impact drill and a direct brain/internet link connection we'll fit to your skull. I don't believe you need to come to terms with your addiction. You need to embrace it.

Clear the halls. Lad-addict coming through.... Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 12:15 pm

Scam Sandwich, You will never be the same.

Welcome to the facility! Very Happy

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 12:26 pm

I'm sorry Scam,there is no cure.Only recently the addiction cost me a new laptop and highspeed internet connection at home,because my cravings could not be satisfied during or after work.And that was after only 5 months of addiction.One can only speculate what years of this will do to you.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 10 Jul 2008 Posts: 98

is there meetings anywhere we can go talk talk about my addiction i want to hug fat swety men and cry about it all.

nurse nastey can i have an extra booster of relaxant. i'm moveing house and well i will be internet less for a few days i don't know if i can go it for that long.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 12:37 pm

Pumpkin. If you last more than 10 minutes away I will be surprised.

The best thing to do would be to call all your friends and tell them you broke your leg and you need them to help you move.

For authenticity, I'll break your leg and put it in a cast. I'll sign a note and make sure you get to stay online all day.

Now lie back and breathe. This is going to really hurt.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 12:37 pm

There are a lot of hug fat swety men here, but I don't know if you want to get close to them. Razz

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 1:46 pm

@Scam Sandwich

I have one word for you.

Library

They have internet access, and an hour or so now and then should keep your craving in check. You can just tell whoever's helping you move that you need to look something up.

Of course, they'll twig if they have to come in after you when you've been in there too long.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:57 pm

Scam Sandwich - have you never heard of internet cafes ?

You can still bait online - and even do some face to face baiting.

Just stand up and ask if anyone has seen your mislaid trunk box - or whether they know the whereabouts of your deceased relatives missing fortune - or why you never win any of the online Lotteries you never enter.

Try that - and your addiction will be cured - for ever. Twisted Evil

I'm on the bright red fluorescent tablets that you can see in the dark, and the other night I dreamed I was a werewolf, but when I woke up I knew it was make believe, as the hair on my palms hadn't grown any longer. Very Happy

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 9:10 pm

@Scam Sandwich - You are one sick dude. If you can't even spend one solitary minute of your real life in "quality time," away from the mentally deranged and demented baiters here, then forget about Gomer's red pills.
You need to take the little black one.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 10 Jul 2008 Posts: 98

i have bought a pair of video goggles and a netbook, i have augmented my hair with an integrated antenna and can now download at 100mbps.

i had a yellow pill.

Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 8:33 am

No , tell me it's not true . Tell me you can't get addicted to this please ! Tell me you guys are just kidding . I am just baiting for a month or so and i spend more time on internet then in bed , my boss threatens to sack me if i keep on dozing off at work and my friends and family put me on a missing persons list . But i'm not addicted am i ?

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 10 Jul 2008 Posts: 98

would u like the details of where i got my equipment from? you can 'bait-a-go-go®' then Smile

Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 1:37 am

After several days of deep prayer and consideration I am ready to wire the funds.

However due to M1lk 4nd Hon3y Church 0f G0d rules, I am only allowed to give money to M3mb3r5.

Please PM me for the forms and the photo you will be required to take.

Pr0f. 57u4r7 F13ld1n6.