Hagling Over Prices (Lt. M0r@lis)

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Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 6:27 am

Lad from:http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=146534

Quote:

Please pardon me, as I am aware that this is not a conventional way of relaying an important massage such as this. I did try without success to locate either your contact address or fax number and as such, I resorted in contacting you via email.
I know the medium is not the most secured way of relaying information of vital importance, but I have decided to take the chance seeing that no other means could have been faster and more efficient than the E-mail.

I write to you irrespective of the fact you do not know me, but please do consider this letter as a request from a man in dire need of assistance.After the fall of Saddam Hussein, We discovered various amount of cash running into Millions of Dollars, which we returned to the relevant authorities here in Iraqi. As you know, we are being attacked by insurgents on daily basis coupled with IED (Improvised explosive device) explosives we encounter almost every day.

This has been responsible for the loss of Soldiers more than combat confrontations.During one of our routine operations we came across a safe that contained the total sum of $61,000,000 (Sixty one Million Us Dollars) that belonged to a member of the fallen regime, which I believe were stashed away from the country’s treasury for his Personal use. Upon
the discovery of this sum, it was agreed by my team of soldiers, that the find be undisclosed and shared amongst us.

Some of it was eventually returned to the army so we don’t attract any suspicion on us.You can go to this web link to read about similar events: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm I hereby bring to your notice that of the total sum found, I have been able to keep $8,000,000.00 successfully (Eight Million US Dollars). I now seek for your assistance, to help receive these funds if i have them evacuated from Iraq. However, you have to assure me that my own share will be safe if left in your custody for investment.

I will have this project shared 50-50 between us, all you have to do is just help me receive this funds for investment when moved out of Iraq. As you know, Iraq is a war zone, and movement of such an amount can be difficult, but just to make things clear to you, We plan using our diplomatic immunity to move these funds to Canada, Australia, United
States and the UK to mention a few, but we do have other logistic destinations periodically. Therefore, I can also have the funds moved to some other safe location where we have freight immunity.

If you find it in your heart to help, I will send you the full details, my duty now is to find a good partner that i can trust and that will assist me in investing the funds till we come out of this war.One passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this matter with a third party, should you have reasons to reject this offer, please destroy this e-mail as any leakage of it may jeopardize my career and mission. If this proposal is acceptable by you, kindly send me an e-mail, signifying your interest including your telephone/fax numbers, for quick communication

NOTE: This Transaction is risk free, and the Funds can be shipped out within 48hrs after we have both agreed to carry out this Project.

Respectfully yours,

Lt. St3ph3n D. M0r@lis

I thought I'd try a different approach, I wasn't really expecting anything from it, but what the hell.

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

This is an interesting proposition you have here, But I have a better offer to make. How about I get 70% of the said funds and you get 30%. If you fail to accept this generous offer I will see to it personally that the funds are confiscated, you are dishonourably discharged from the military and put on trial.
How does that sound to you?

-Brig@dier D.M1tchell

Him, to me:

Quote:

Dear Brig@dier D.M1tchell,

Please the deal is 50% for you and 50% form. If you don’t accept better I look for another person to help me but if you accept for the percentage good kindly provide to me the needed information so that we can proceed.

Regards

Lt M0r@lis

I started to get the feeling he didn't entirely comprehend what I was, apparently, threatening him with....

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

You obviously don't understand the severity of this matter. Let me put it in simpleton's words. If you refuse my offer you CAN'T look for another person to help because I will personally throw you in JAIL for such unbecoming conduct. I will also launch a full investigation into this matter which will result in the MONEY BEING SEIZED BY THE GOVERNMENT.
I believe I'm being more than generous in my offer and I really don't see what choice you have. 30% or jail? Seems like a pretty simple choice to me.
Accept my offer of 70% 30% or I WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE.

I'm a very high ranking officer in the military and I have the power to make all of this happen, and more.

-Brig@dier D.M1tchell

Now here is when I started thinking he was an idiot...

Him, to me:

Quote:

no way it's 50/50 ok

I of course, wasn't about to back down.

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

It's 70% 30% or you get no money whatsoever and you spend the good part of the next 10 years in Jail.

Don't make me request NSA satellite time to track you down, and once that's done it's just a quick phone call away to my good friends at the Federal Police, I'm sure they'd love to lock you up in one of our sub-standard prisons, hell maybe I'll get them to smuggle the money over here. Who knows... but I'll repeat my offer, 70% 30% or you get no money whatsoever and you spend the good part of the next 10 years in Jail.

Don't test my patience

-Brig@dier D.M1tchell

And here is when I start thinking that he's not just an idiot... but a frustrated one too!

Him, to me:

Quote:

NOW LISTEN

SEND ME ALL THIS INFORMATIONS

1 YOUR FULL NAME

2 CONTACT ADDRESS

3 A VALID ID INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVING LICENSE

4 PHONE OR FAX

SEND THIS INFORMATION SO THAT I WILL GO TO THE SECURITY COMPANY THAT I DEPOSITED THE MONEY AND ASK THE THEM TO SEND THE MONEY TO YOU .

THIS INFORMATION IS VERY INPORTANT TO ME

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

So, I'm assuming you've accepted my terms?

-Brig@dier D.M1tchell

Not quite a Newb Joined: 10 Aug 2008 Posts: 56

haha I had fun reading this.

Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 2:23 pm

hee hee

ROTFLMAO doing well Kelpex - go and see the latest on Capt Duckieboy
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1210737#1210737

I acktually have Lt Stephen in my inbox, I have 30 - 40 emails in two different names and half of them the same, maybe I should checkout surplus and get some up there if not already done so by others as most of us use the same guest books

if you need me to be a third party just hollow

Cheers matey, ur doing well Very Happy

Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 2:47 pm

For this update, pay attention to the steady decline of his grammar!

Him, to me:

Quote:

yes i have agreed send me the informations that i asked for sothat we can proceed ok

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,
My name Is D@vid M!tchell and I can be contacted through the Xxxxxx Barracks head office which is located at 756 Xxxxx Road, Xxxx.
However I will not risk using my private phone number to further such an illegal operation.

-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

Him, to me:

Quote:

hope you are not expecting me to come to Xxxxx barrack send me your number so that we can discuse and tell me your much you can offer wright away

I doubt that he really wants to talk over the phone, but we'll see...

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

I believe that email contact will suffice for the time being, but if you insist on telephone contact, give me your number and I may be able to work something out.
So tell me, how do you plan for this operation to proceed?

-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

Just as I suspected, I wonder if I might actually have spooked him a little bit... But why the hell is he asking me where to go next, isn't this HIS scam?

Him, to me:

Quote:

i can't give out me number for security reasons so how do we proceed

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

How do we proceed?
What exactly is the situation with the money and how were you originally planning on getting it to safety?
I believe that contact via email will be reliable enough to cover the early stages of this operation.

-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

NOTE:: This is all copy+paste, there are no typos (from me atleast) in his emails.

Him, to me:

Quote:

yes
thanks for asking the money is with the security company immediately u assept that you can keep it save with you i will contact the security company to send it out to you via Deplomatics means ok

I type this up to further convince him of the validity of my claims...

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

I'm a very powerful man and I will have no problems keeping the money save.
Tell me, how did you come across the money and what exactly have you done with it since then. I ask only to be sure that you haven't made any mistakes in hiding this large sum from the authorities. If you have, do not worry, I can fix things, but I'll need your complete co-operation and honesty. This is important for your own safety, as we speak the military police may be planning your arrest. That will not be a good outcome.

One more thing, what is this security company you speak of, and what are your reasons for trusting them?
My questions are purely in concern for the security of this operation, I can ensure that this runs smoothly but I will require to know everything.

-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

Go son, you shear that money!

Him, to me:

Quote:

thanks for your concern no one know abouth the money only me and my friends tat we sheared the money knows about it , the is no place to keep it that wes why i depossited it with the security company , it was back as a food valuables so know one knows what is inside of it ok i want to no if you have agreed to keep the money for me untill i will come to the state to take my own share of the money
get back to me if you have agreed to

He the gets lazy and resorts back to his script for this one...
That's right... he forgot the D...

Quote:

ear D@vid M!tchell,

Please find the questions at paragraph (4) and (5) in my first proposal I sent to you which says:

This has been responsible for the loss of Soldiers more than combat confrontations. During one of our routine operations we came across a safe that contained the total sum of $61,000,000 (Sixty one Million Us Dollars) that belonged to a member of the fallen regime, which I believe were stashed away from the country's treasury for hi Personal use. Upon the discovery of this sum, it was agreed by my team of soldiers, that the find be undisclosed and shared amongst us.

Some of it was eventually returned to the army so we don't attract any suspicion on us. You can go to this web link to read about similar events: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm I hereby bring to your notice that of the total sum found, I have been able to keep $8,000,000.00 successfully (Eight Million US Dollars). I now seek for your assistance, to help receive these funds if i have them evacuated from Iraq. However, you have to assure me that my own share will be safe if left in your custody for investment.

Since then I deposited the fund with a security company as a family valuable for save keeping.

Then I thank God that what I deposited is still intact and ok; now I want to carry it out to a trusty some one which I contacted you. If you know that you are ok to assist me please let us go ahead and finalize this transaction than wasting time for nothing.

If you can do the deal please kindly go ahead and all the required information.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Regards,

Lt. M0r@lis.

And this is where I finish this enthralling chapter.

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

As per our prior agreement, I will hold the money until you're capable of retrieving it safely. I look forward to further contact with you but ,for the present, my duties require my attention elsewhere. I'm sure you understand.

-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

Feedback is more than welcome in this thread! Very Happy

I also appreciate any suggestions you may have. I'm not really sure where this is going Confused

Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 4:37 am

Dear Mr sucker sent me an ID card, does anyone know how to get it up here?

Mr Anonymous1

Quote:

Dear (Anonymous2-me) "Edited"

Thank you for your prompt response , honestly, I am coming to you with a sincere heart that both of us should benefit from this project, however, my twin brother was supposed to take responsibility of this project but he has down syndrome and my Father whom I would have entrusted this with is late.

I want to assure you that there is no risk involved in this project and I want you to trust and assist whole heartedly so that I can advise you on how to receive the funds. But just one thing, I have to be assured that my share will be safe in your care until I complete my service here, I want to have a very peaceful retirement, may be marry again if it is Gods wish. Then I will advice you not to come to Iraq to protect my interest.

I will go ahead to give you some details, and as soon as you assure me that you are comfortable with this, then we can go ahead, as your confidence in me matters so much. I have to get this funds out of Iraq immediately because other colleagues have successfully sent theirs out through this means except me.
Here is how the funds will be moved.

The UN flight departs from Iraqi air strip once a week to these destinations. Amsterdam- Netherlands, Germany, Canada Australia to mention a few. I have also been reliably informed that there is an unscheduled flight to Thailand, Dubai and India, Indonesia and Malaysia and Cairo Egypt, all cargo and the passengers are authorized to have absolute immunity from the normal checks at these ports.

An army commandant crew takes charge of every cargo and package on board, and there is always another Military personal who takes charge of the package on arrival and they make sure all cargo is taken to the various destinations tagged with. Depending on where we agree on.

The package will then be transferred to you at a designated location that we will agree on by the same fellow in an official UN vehicle to avoid security checks within the city, and same fellow will provide cover and assistance to you until you confirm that you can take care of the situation on your own. Please i would appreciate it if you keep this very very confidential .I await your urgent response with these details

1. Your Full Names

2. A Valid ID

3. Your phone and fax number

4. Your Residential Address

5. Your age and occupation

These details will be used to tagg the package so you will be identified with them at the place of hand over

Best Regards
Mr Anonymous1

[/img]

Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 4:39 am

Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 4:42 am

try uploading the image to photobucket and then post a link here.

Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 6:48 am

Ok I think I finally have worked it out

Dear Lt (Anonymous) seems to have forged his own signature as also authorizing officer on his identification card (not really him of course) hmmm

(Mod edit - image removed, please write fake all over it before reposting it - SP)
Hey I did it, Wow! thanks for your assistance Mod

Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:29 am

That card is obviously fraudulent. For it to be considered authentic it also must include his shoe size and how many times he yelled "BOOM HEADSHOT!" Razz

He looks very angry... and hairy...

Sadly my inbox has been barren today Crying or Very sad

I decided to google the cards, and look what I found. 3 cheers for originality!

(Mod edit - images removed, please write fake all over them before reposting them - SP)

Just for clarity, both of these fake cards were taken from www.warbooks.com/snipe.html. However the scammer appears to be using them on other people.

::EDIT:: I've started setting up a dolla chop, just in case...

::EDIT:: My emails are now starting to bounce

::EDIT:: Written Fake all over the cards

Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 10:43 am

This is all that happened leading up to the closure of his email account.
I'm rather pleased with how this went. I wasn't really expecting this tactic to work at all.

Him to me:

Quote:

WAITING FOR THE SAD INFORMATION SO THAT WE CAN PROCEED.

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

I've already given you the information you previously requested.

-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

My first attempt at preparing for a dolla chop
Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

I've just been contacted by a Sgt.Jarvis Reeves Jr . He has a similar offer to your own, are you working with this man?
-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

And now he starts getting confused...
Him, to me:

Quote:

Dear Brig@dier D.M!tchell,

Yes I have your full names and address; you should understand that with out your phone number the Diplomat will not locate you. He has to call you upon his arrival to meet with you.

So you have to include your phone number for easy communication and the number will be keeping confidential.

Wait to hear from you with the needed number.

Regards,

Lt. M0r@lis.

I send this reply off but...

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

Diplomat? What Diplomat? You said the money was with the security company, labeled as foodstuffs?

Is Sgt.Jarvis Reeves Jr working with you? I've recently received an email from him asking for my assistance in moving funds out of Iraq too.

-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

It doesn't get through Sad

Gmail, to me:

Quote:

This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification

Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:

[email protected]

Technical details of permanent failure:
Google tried to deliver your message, but it was rejected by the recipient domain. We recommend contacting the other email provider for further information about the cause of this error. The error that the other server returned was: 554 554 delivery error: dd This user doesn't have a ymail.com account ([email protected]) [-5] - mta326.mail.re4.yahoo.com (state 1 Cool

.

Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:39 am

HUZZAH!!!

Quote:

Dear D@vid M!tchell,

How are you?

I want to inform you that you should not reply any mail from my formal ymail.com ID. Somebody hacked my mail box with spyware.

Please kindly be replying me through there with this CODE 999 any mails with out the code please don’t answer.

Then i want to hear from you based on my last mail to you that you have give me your phone number for the Diplomat to contact you upon his arrival. I have made all arrangement with the security company for the Diplomat to leave and meet with you as soon as I have your phone number.

I need your urgent response.

Regards,

Lt. M0r@lis

Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 11:34 am

Brief updates!!

Me, to him:

Quote:

CODE 999?

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

Your last email was hacked? Do you think the security of this operation could have been compromised?
In you last email, you said nothing about a Diplomat. You said the money was being held with a security company?
Please explain your actions.
There is one more matter of importance that needs discussing. Is Sgt.Jarvis Reeves working with you? I've recently received an email from him and he appears to be in a similar situation to yourself.

-Brigadier D.Mitchell

Him, to me:

Quote:

Dear Brigadier D.Mitchell,

I want you to understand me well; the fund was deposited with a security company as a family valuable after packaging.

I deposited the funds with a security company for save keeping so that I can now look for a partner to assist me in keeping the money in a saver place which I now contacted you. Because of the nature of this transaction, I demanded a Diplomat to carry the shipment through Diplomatic means.

Note that the security company does not know the contents of the consignment either the Diplomat. I package the consignment under confidential as a family valuable to deliver to you.

Please my good brother I don’t know any body called Sgt. Jarvis Reeves that is way you have to keep this transaction very secret to your self only and I would advice you not to reply his mail.

The security company is waiting for the phone number my good brother so that the Diplomat will leave immediately.

With out your phone number how can you know that the Diplomat has arrived, he has to call you for you to come and pick him from the port.

My good brother, no more delay please let us conclude this transaction once and for all.

Wait for your urgent response.

Regards,

Lt. M0r@lis.

More stall tactics...
Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

I feel uneasy trusting such an amount to this diplomat, how well do you know him? Are you certain he won't betray us?
Where is the security company? I could send someone trustworthy there to collect the funds?
This is a large amount of money and it would be foolish to rush into this transaction without taking every precaution possible.
I hope you understand.

Him, to me:

Quote:

Brig@dier D.M!tch3ll,

My good brother, I thing I have explained much about this transaction. No need of wasting time. I will send a representative that will be coming with the Diplomat. He will make sure that the Diplomat deliver the consignment to you in a proper condition.

So you don’t have to worry about.

Let us proceed ok.

Thanks,

Regards

Lt. M0r@lis.

Me, to him:

Quote:

Very well

After two days of silence from him, I decide to send this one off...
Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

Your lack of a reply has me worried, has something happened?

-Brigadier D.Mitchell

And that's it so far, your comments are apreciated!

Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 12:08 pm

If he hasn't been arrested, safaried, or decided to have a week off, then he's waiting for you to make some gesture to show that you're serious. You can see some major signs of getting to the end of his current patience with you, so I think you need to restore his faith in your "genuine victim" status. If you look back at his previous few emails, you can see that he's probably waiting for a phone number so that he can begin the diplomat-arrives-at-airport plot. Do you have a safe phone number you can give him and kickstart his belief in you again?

Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 12:39 pm

I don't have one, but I know someone who does!

Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 11:55 pm

Had a lot of laughs reading this. Laughing

Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 12:58 am

I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Otterfan, what exactly is generally involved in this diplomat at the airport plot?

A special thanks to Gone Fishing for taking calls for me! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 11:26 am

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

I'm getting worried, call me on XXXX XXX XXX

-Brig@dier D.M1tchell

Him, to me:

Quote:

Dear Brig@dier D.M1tchell,

Thank you for the number provided. My good brother I will you to resend to me your complete contact address because I lost all when the hacker hacked my mailbox.

Please I want you to send to me as soon as you receive this mail and also send the complete phone number so that I will call you for more details regarding to the shipment of the consignment to you.

The security company is disturbing me for the needed details to proceed.

I will be very glade to hear from you as quickly as possible so that the Diplomat will leave to come and meet with you for the deliver of the said consignment.

Thanks for your cooperation and understanding..

Regards

Lt. M0r@lis.

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

My address is as follows: Robertson Barracks, XXX Xxxxxxx Road,
,XXXX, Australia
You can reach me on this number: XXXXXXXXXX

-Brig@dier D.M1tchell

Thanks to Gone Fishing for taking my call!
Him to me:

Quote:

Dear Brig@dier D.M1tchell,
I tried to talk with you on several time but a lady keep answering me that you are not back from work.

This is to update you that I had a meeting with the security company yesterday about the shipment of the consignment to you.

The Diplomat made me to understand that it will take Euros11, 2500 for the shipment of the consignment to get to Australia the Euros18, 600 for the clearing of the consignment.

I have to look for the money and pay for the shipment today then upon the arrival of the Diplomat in Australia kindly give the Diplomat the Euros18, 600 to pay for the clearing then deliver the consignment to you.

Secondly you have to provide your personal phone number so that the Diplomat will not find it difficult in contacting once he arrives.

I have to hear from you as soon as possible so that the shipment will commence immediately.

Thanks for your good cooperation and understanding.

Regards

Lt. M0r@lis.

::EDIT:: Fixed an oversight.

Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:14 pm

OTFLMAO THAT IS HILARIOUS I only spoke to him once this morn, as he did not ring back 2 hours later as he said he would, we were ready and waiting and was going to keep him waiting,

Cheers
PA C

Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:27 pm

Hey boss - I decided to let you tell the story - let me know my que re the explaining of the phone calls

Cheers
C

Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:32 pm

By the way! his number is silent, it keeps coming up as "unknown" when checked in with details, well! there was none!

Cheers
C

Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:55 pm

Ps Kelpex - Boss thanx 4 the recognition any time mate Very Happy

Regards
C

Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 6:02 am

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

I'm sorry you got put through to my personal assistant but, as I'm sure she would have told you, there was a bit of an emergency here that required my attention. Tell the diplomat to call the number I gave you when he arrives. I've disclosed all the relevant information about this operation to my personal assistant and I have the uptmost confidence in her ability to handle this situation properly.
As for the money, you're a smart man, you'll figure something out.

-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

Just including something I forgot to include in ^that^ email
Me, to him

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

When is the diplomat expected to arrive? Will he have the funds with him?
I suppose I could organise to bring some money with me to meet him.

-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

Him, To me:

Quote:

Dear Brig@dier D. M!tchell,

How are you today?

This is to inform you that the Diplomat has finally departed today to come and meet with you in Australia. He will arrive on Monday.

You have to arrange the sum of Euros18, 600(Eighteen Thousand Six Hundred Euros) you will give to the Diplomat upon his arrival in Australia.

Then I have given him your personal assistance phone number so you have to inform your personal assistance that on Monday you will be having visitor and she should be nearer to the phone always.

Please make everything available and ready to receive the Diplomat.

Note: The Diplomat does not know the contents of the consignment. I package the funds in a consignment as family treasure to deliver to you.

And please you have to be updating me always ones the Diplomat is with you.

Thanks for your Good cooperation and understanding.

Regards

Lt. M0r@lis.

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

Are you aware of what time the diplomat will be arriving? How will I know whom he is when I meet him?
I'm sure I can arrange for the money but what exactly does he need such a large sum for?

-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

Crikey, that's one hell of a handling charge!
Sounds like this diplomat has some other dodgy goods to deliver too!

Him, to me:

Quote:

Dear Brig@dier D. M!tchell.

Thank you for your mail.

Yes the money is for his handling charge and clearings of the consignment. I only paid for the shipment for the consignment to get to Australia.

Please cooperate with the Diplomat he can conclude with you ASAP because according to him he has other assignment to accomplish to other countries after delivering the consignment to you.

I will be calling you always as soon as the Diplomat arrives and once you confirm to me that you have received the consignment, and then I will quickly give you the code key number to open the consignment.

The most important thing now is for you to receive this funds for save keeping the after we will now discuss when I will come to meet with you for the sharing.

I thank you for your good cooperation and understanding.

Regards

Lt. M0r@lis.

I wonder if I could get him to come to Darwin... doubt it, but what the hell!!

Me, to him:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

I may not be available to meet the diplomat at the airport. However I've made arrangements for the funds to be available for his pickup once he arrives, in the event that I am unable to make the transfer myself. I hope you understand.
Please pass this information on to the diplomat and tell him to contact my Personal Assistant. She will be able to clear the funds for him.
If you require any more information please contact me promptly.
I have hopes that this operation will run smoothly.

-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

At this point, gone fishing gets in touch with an Iraqi sounding man (correct me if I'm wrong here) and acquires his email address.

Gone Fishing, to the Diplomat

Quote:

Dear Owen

I am sorry for the confussion of communication that is at times caused by phone and emails etc

I need to know where you are so that I am able to issue further instructions as directed by Brig@dier D@vid M!tchel Sir!

As soon as I hear from you I will forward the instruction

Yours Sincerely
C!ndy M0rrel
PA to Brig@dier M!tchel

The diplomat, to gone fishing

Quote:

This is to confirm the receipt of your mail.I will give you details of the consignment in a while.
Ow3n Sh3rw00d

Scammer, to me:

Quote:

Dear Brig@dier D. M!tchell.

Thank you for your mail.

I understand every bit of your mail. Please you have to advice your personal assistance to meet with the Diplomat as soon as the Diplomat calls her that he has arrived and you have to make the money available with so that once the Diplomat calls her so she will not be running up and down looking for you to give her the money.

I will let the Diplomat know about this information you gave to me once he calls me so that he will be aware that it is your personal assistance will be meeting with him.

I am looking forward to hear from him that he has arrived.

Thanks for your good cooperation and understanding.

Regards
Lt. M0r@lis.

This was sent after gone fishing got a flurry of calls at 2am...

Me, to the Scammer

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

The arrangements are in place, the money is being held Securely by customs.
We'll need some details from the diplomat so he can retrieve the money himself in the event that myself or my PA are unable to.
Please advise the diplomat to observe local timezones before calling again.
My PA informed me that she took a call from the diplomat at 0211 hours (I'm surprised she was still up working at that time).
I will need the following information from the Diplomat in order for customs to allow the funds to be retrieved by him.
Full name:
Date of Birth:
A secret question (chosen by him):
and
A secret answer:

I hope this will run smoothly

-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

The diplomat then decided to send this to gone fishing

Quote:

Hello Brig@dier M!tchel
I wish to convey to you that i have arrived Australia with your diplomatic luggage tagged 122. However, your consignment is presently at the diplomatic wing of Melbourne [MEL]attending to all diplomatic consignment protocols.
Be informed that your consignment was shipped under the auspices of United Nations Economic Commission for Europe and Africa International Cargo Section

Meanwhile, it is pertinent i let you know your consignment requires a Diplomatic Luggage Yellow Passage Identification before it will be cleared and delivered.To this end, you are advised to contact the ambassador in-charge of the United Nations Economic Commission for Europe and Africa for the issuance of the above stated immediately.

Ambassador K.Kotamraju
Email:[email protected]
Tel:281-456-4346

I look forward to your anticipated cooperation to enable me serve you in a timely manner,Kind regards
0w3n Sh3rw00d

I then send this off to M0r@lis

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

My personal assistant has informed me that the consignement is being currently in Melbourne! What the hell is it doing there?
You told me the diplomat will be meeting me with the consignment at the airport? And now I apparently need some yellow tag? You never mentioned this before!

-Brig@dier D.M!tchell

Minutes later I send this one off to the "diplomat"

Quote:

Mr Sh3rw00d,

I was under the belief that you were going to personally escort the consignment with you to Darwin and I was going to hand you a sum of money in exchange for the package in person.
That been said, what are you doing in Melbourne and why did you not come straight to Darwin as previously arranged?
What exactly is "United Nations Economic Commission for Europe and Africa International Cargo Section" and why should it apply to us? The parcel originated from Iraq (which doesn't fall under the laws of Europe or Africa) and now is in Australia (which also doesn't fall under the laws of Europe or Africa) so tell me what this "commission" has to do with our buisness?
Excuse my bad temper but I've put allot of work ensuring that the required funds will be available for your pickup once you arrive at Darwin Airport and now you fly to Melbourne instead?

-Brigadier David Mitchell

Now Fishing has just answered a few tedious phone calls over a dodgy line. He said something about traveling to Russia...[/code]

Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 10:39 am

Correction it was "some thing about on way to England"

Russia was used in the context of spelling out his name, he preferred to use country names to sound the letters to his first and last name used like CB radio talk;

Anyway I was relaxing reading a mag with thought on whether to get some sleep or not (insomnia) then the telly ring went red hot it went like this;

1st call not got in time
2nd call could not make out a thing except a very faint muffled voice
3rd call a bit louder and clearer this person knew what he wanted but with communication break down due to mobile static, distance and cultural differences in language on both sides

Me; "Good Morning Rxxxxxx Bxxxxxx - C speaking"

Caller; "Brig@dier M!tchell"

Me; "Sorry Did you say Brig@dier D.M!tchell Sir"

Caller; "Yes Brig@dier M!tchell"

Me; "Sorry Sir Brig@dier M!tchell is still in an urgent meeting with the PM and it has gone on longer than expected as they are discussing matters of national security, unfortunately that's all I am able to tell you as the rest is classified information”

Me; "Dxxxx has instructed me that you are a very important Diplomat and that I am to take personal care of you with the up most highest regards and respect Sir"

Me; "are you at the airport Sir",

Caller; "YES I am at the air port"
so I presumed he was in NT (Not:-))

(Ok, I will play along with your silly little game Smile

)

Me; "Sir if you jump into a Taxi cab and direct the driver to bring you out to Rxxxx Bxxxx we will pick up the taxi fare both ways for you"

but he faintly mumbled something about on way to England

Me; "May I have your full name Please Sir"
(but not getting clear soundings from him I asked for him to spell it out and it went like this"

0 for orange
vv ----
3 for England
N for New Orlean

S ------
H for hospital (thought he said "Horse Piddle" Smile

)
3 for England
R for Rusha (spelling mistake on my behalf "Russia") sory boss I am dyslexic and this is where I confused you)
vv
0
0
D

Me; "Sir may I please have your date of birth" (as instructed by my boss)

Caller; (went quiet, no sound)

Me; "Are you still there sir"

Callers; "Yes Im still here"

so I asked for this again and also quickly asked for a secret question and answer for security reasons for the clearance of the funds

ERR DERR!

Caller; "what is the security question and answer"

Me; "Sir you have to give me a security question and an answer to your question, do you have one sir"

Caller; "I don't have one" then quickly added
"Diplomate" & "Luggage" (I guess that one was comming),

Me; "Sir may I please have your contact number so that Brig@dier M!tchell is able to contact you as soon as able"

Caller; "I don't have one, I will get back to you with this later"

Clunk went the telly ring

4th call

he then asked for my email, and boy he was worse than me as I also spelt it out with a word for every letter to the point I got bloody confused myself Smile

) (here we go around the Mulberry Bush the Mulberry Bush:-))

he kept getting so damn confused that he hanged up again

5th call Telly phone rings again

Caller; "I will give you my email" (here we went again with the word for letter syndrome) o'brother!

This is when I sent him that apology email in regards to the communication breakdown to test his email, I was a bit sceptical! sounded like he was making it up as he went along and then rushed to set one up Smile

)
I immediately forward my reply to the Diplomat to my boss Smile

)

The Diplomat then sent a bullshit receipt email that I also forward to my boss

when I woke up about lunch time there was the more indept email that I again forward straight to my boss with the attach "not touching this one, all yours!"

The caller never even mentioned Melbourne to me, got me by surprise, I knew the boss would not be happy, nor was there any mention of the yellow tag or any code numbers

Quote:

Hello Brig@dier M!tchel
I wish to convey to you that i have arrived Australia with your diplomatic luggage tagged 122. However, your consignment is presently at the diplomatic wing of Melbourne [MEL]attending to all diplomatic consignment protocols.
Be informed that your consignment was shipped under the auspices of United Nations Economic Commission for Europe and Africa International Cargo Section

Meanwhile, it is pertinent i let you know your consignment requires a Diplomatic Luggage Yellow Passage Identification before it will be cleared and delivered.To this end, you are advised to contact the ambassador in-charge of the United Nations Economic Commission for Europe and Africa for the issuance of the above stated immediately.

Ambassador x.Kxxxxx
Email:[email protected]
Tel:xxx-4xx-4xxx

I look forward to your anticipated cooperation to enable me serve you in a timely manner,Kind regards
Oxxxxx Sxxxxxxx

I kept him on the phone 5 min and then 4 mins in the two longest calls, mostly spelling names and emails oh derr! his credit not mine Smile

)

I tried taping it, his voice did not come out to well and I got very loud interference from the mobile to the recorder, not so good, I will have to get an engerneering friend to design a better system

Anyway that was my night, but an early one tonight as I have things to do over the next couple of days

Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 11:56 pm

Updates, Updates, Updates...

Without no delays eh... looks like he wants me to be difficult!

Scammer, to me:

Quote:

Dear Brig@dier D.M!tchell,

Thank you for your update.

To be sincere, I have not heard from the Diplomat because am still in duty at this time. I what you will give the Diplomat is Euros18,600 as he estimated all arrangements for the clearing of the consignment at the custom port.

Then the yellow tag is among the clearing, he will obtain this yellow tag to allow the custom to release the consignment.

Please find way to give him the 18, 600 immediately so that he can be able to clear the consignment as ASAP with out no delays.

I thank God he has arrived with out no problem. I promise you that this transaction will concluded smoothly.

I appreciate your good effort and cooperation.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Lt. M0r@lis.

Someone's not a happy camper...

Me, to the scammer:

Quote:

Stephen,

You're not making sense.
Custom port? I thought the diplomat was flying in by plane and why is he in Melbourne instead of Darwin as we previously had planned?
I've put allot of work into ensuring that he will be able to take the money from customs officials once he arrives. If he'd followed the original plan he would have had the money and I'd have the damn case.
These complications are starting to frustrate me.
Tell him to contact me, he seems to be ignoring my emails.

-Brig@dier D@vid M!tchell

Panic... panic is good!

Scammer, to me:

Quote:

Dear Brig@dier D@vid M!tchell,

Please don’t misunderstand me, custom port can be at the air port or sea port. The Diplomat departed by air not by any means than plane. You people should conclude on how to meet so that you can give him the money to clear the consignment from the air port. And any port you must have customs.

I want you to understand me well to avoid misunderstanding. The Diplomat does not know any place; please ask him well to know the particular place he is so that you people will meet as soon as possible..

Take it came everything is ok, you mails makes me to panic but as far as he has already contacted you that he is now in Australia, I hope all is well.

I want this consignment to be delivered to you as soon as possible.

Please you urgent mail is needed.

Regards

Lt. M0r@lis.

For some reason I really felt like including the PM in this one...

Me, to the scammer:

Quote:

Lieutenant M0r@lis,

I'm sorry, I didn't intend to panic you. I've just recently been very busy and very stressed. In the past couple days. The Prime Minister has called for a "review" of the jobs currently occupied by civilians on my base, basically he wants to fire people and I've been spending allot of time in the capitol trying to change his mind. It's starting to wear me out.

As far as the Diplomat is concerned, I believe the best course of action is for him to catch a flight up to Darwin and he can retrieve the required funds there. Once he's there I can arrange for his airline tickets and the cost of taking the consignment for an extra flight to be refunded to him. Then he can go off and do whatever it is he does and I'll secure the package until you're able to retrieve it yourself unless you've changed your mind on how to ultimately resolve this.

My personal assistant did not get a contact number from the diplomat so I'm hoping you can contact him. He is yet to respond to my email.

-Brig@dier D@vid M!tchell

Apparently I'm Dear now... is that a good sign? Razz

Scammer, to me:

Quote:

Dear Brig@dier D@vid M!tchell,

Thanks for your mail well noted.

Yes what I found out is that where the Diplomat landed is not the same city with yours. Please you have to direct him to found his way to your city it is very important and if you found it so good to send the money to him so that he can be able to clear the consignment and bring it to you it will be very ok. What do you say about that?

Please you have to understand that it is huge money we are talking about I mean the consignment so we don’t have to delay in making plans together to make sure that the Diplomat delivers the consignment to you with out no delay.

I trust you, I know you can do something. Please once the Diplomat call you again, conclude with him on what to do.

Wait for your urgent response.

Regards

Lt. M0r@lis.

What the hell is this guy on? First dear and now I'm his beloved one? Shocked

Scammer, to me:

Quote:

Dear Brig@dier D@vid M!tchell,

How are you?

I thank God I spoke with the Diplomat and he assured me that he will meet with you as soon as possible.

Please my beloved one, you have to keep patient a little and wait for the Diplomat to come and meet with you. Please don’t worry your self so much since I have heard from him. He said that he is putting thing in odder.

I am so happy and I want you to be happy too.

So once you heard from him again, try to cooperate with him. Everything is in good condition.

Thanks for your good cooperation and understanding.

Yours truly,

Lt. M0r@lis.

And the diplomat then drops this in my inbox

Diplomat, to me:

Quote:

Dear Sir Brig@dier D@vid M!tchell
Many thanks for your rapid response and the questions. I know that you have put in a lot to get the consignment shipped to Australia from Iraq.

Be informed that due to security threat and alert in Iraq we have no choice other than to ship the consignment out of Iraq through diplomatic means under the Auspices of the United Nations Economic Commission for Europe and Africa International Cargo Section.

This is the only means to ship the consignment out of Iraq without it being subjected to undue scrutiny by the Iraqi authorities. I guess you now understand.

Yes we made arrangement to ship the consignment directly to Darwin Airport but due to the time frame we could not book a direct flight hence i had to stop over at Melbourne en-route Darwin Airport. That is not the issue at this point in time you should be happy and grateful to me that amidst Iraqi and Australian tight security i was able to bring the consignment to Australia successfully.

Are you not aware that any package from Iraq that arrived Australia are classified as potential terrorist risk. However, there is no room for further delay we have to obtain the requested D.L.Y.P.I and get the consignment cleared and delivered to you at Darwin as scheduled. Meanwhile, as you rightly know it will cost you Euros 18, 600 (Eighteen Thousand Six Hundred Euros) for the handling, clearing and delivery charges including the D.L.Y.P.I charges.

Finally, you are advised as a matter of urgency to make the funds available today to enable me clear and deliver the consignment accordingly. I look forward to your anticipated cooperation,

Yours sincerely
0w3n Sh3rw00d

Me, to the Diplomat:

Quote:

Mr Sherwood,

I still don't understand what the United Nations Economic Commission for Europe and Africa International Cargo Section is exactly?
I've been thinking, perhaps you could fly up to Darwin and collect the funds (I'll include some more money to cover your expenses incurred through this unfortunate delay) fly back to Melbourne then clear the consignment and fly back up here? I'm sure Jetstar has daily flights from Melbourne to Darwin.
I'm a very busy man and I believe this will be the easiest course of action for us both.
I hope you understand.

-Brig@dier D@vid M!tchell

Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 12:20 am

The "Diplomat" and the original character have slightly different email addresses (the last 3 digits are different) so I traced M0r@lis to Lagos and the "Diplomat" to somewhere in Nigeria.

I also just sent this to M0r@lis. He should be excited that we're now on a first-name basis!!

Quote:

Stephen,

I'm happy to inform you that I'm now back in contact with the diplomat.
I still have hopes that this operation will run smoothly.
I'll keep you informed of any major developments.

-David

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