Lottolad 'went' to SSC Cameroon & Benin;$$ goes to Niger

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Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 6:39 pm

The only incoming Email to the 5imba box was this. Looks like I have been told off... Sad

Quote:

Hello Safari Groups,

I want you to know that you have not really really been fair to Mr.Micheal who is your Client and that is very Bad of the 5imba Safari Group Ltd.Anyway i want you to know that you must bear in mind that no money was sent to Mr.Micheal williams as you Claimed and Secondly the 5imba Safari Group Ltd should prepare all the Funds to be refunded because he won't be spend be spending too much time in the Suit.

Regards

Mr.Gomer

.....

Quote:

Dear Mister Gomer,

I am very disappointed with your negative attitude.
The fact of the matter is that your Mister Michaels has been playing
silly games.

He failed to be collected by every shuttle bus that we arranged with
him. Each time he foolishly
decided to go to the completely wrong place, and this is the fault of
Mister Michaels entirely.
Nobody else is to blame for his stupidity.

However, the 5imba Safari group takes great pride in our customer care
reputation, therefore we will be prepared
to offer a full cash refund for every unexpected travel expense,
provided that an invoice can be produced.
Please scan invoices and Email them to this Email address and mark the
header for the attention of the Accountant.

I also want you to know that I personally travelled into Mundemba to
rescue Mister Michaels.
However I was told that no such person was being detained by the police,
so I have no idea what that game was all about.
Perhaps you would care to explain in the continued absence of Mister
Michaels?

I must also correct you about the $500 money that was previously sent.
This was infact collected in Douala and has cleared our account.
So clearly Mister Michaels must have taken the form into the bank in
Douala and now has that money.

Best regards,

Bernie Rhodxx
Operations Manager - 5imba Safari Group Ltd

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 7:02 pm

Quote:

Funds to be refunded because he won't be spend be spending too much time in the Suit.

BWHAHAHAHA LOL_sign

That is hilarious! (what is he trying to accomplish?)

Edit: Is there no end to this lad's gullability? (from gomer-lad):

Quote:

Hello Alf,

Mr.Hans will always say he can help you because he wants to collect your Money.I want you to know that i have already made arrangement with the Police and Mr.Micheal will be on his way Tomorrow to the Camp.I warned you to be patient and stop talking to Mr.Hans but you are not following my Instructions.Mr.Micheal will soon be with you and by this time Tomorrow,you will be through with all this Transactions.

I want to state here that if you Contact Mr.Hans again and you loose your Money :yikes:

,then it will be your Fault.Just tell Ihava to wait as Mr.Micheal will be Coming Tomorrow.5imba are not been fair because they have the Police Officer's Contact and they didn't even reture my call.

As for your Whisky,you will get it when Mr.Micheal comes but Make sure you don't spend anymore of that Money . :yikes:

Mr.Gomer
+44702408xxxx

Alf says:

Quote:

that is nut true i tried to call that nimber myself frum the satphones end 5imba triedered aslo. it is nut a wurkin number!

if mr micheal nut come by soon i talk to hans becaus than you leave me no choices.

419Eater is my life Joined: 10 Jul 2008 Posts: 366

Quote:

The town of Mundemba is a quiet, peaceful place, theft is rare and security is paramount. Several security services are available through the local police.

This is usually the description of a local police force that is not corrupt.

I just found out that the local police offices in Cameroon are called Gendarmerie. With that I am now getting quite a few hits on Mundemba Gendarmerie including references to it as a landmark.

Quote:

Funds to be refunded because he won't be spend be spending too much time in the Suit.

Quote:

Also will need an excuse why Alf spent another 5 to 10k

5imba will deduct the refund for the lads suite from the bar tab, repairs to the rolled Land Rover and cost of recapuring the escaped primates.

p.

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 8:29 pm

Quote:

5imba will deduct the refund for the lads suite from the bar tab, repairs to the rolled Land Rover and cost of recapuring the escaped primates.

I burst into uncontrolable laughter when I read that.

Alf forwarded one of the lad's emails with kind of a complaint email to B3rnie rhod3s; I hope 5imba incorporates your text into a reply to the mugu re/ the complaint &/or getting a refund. Laughing

Quote:

deraest simab people:

I am enjoyin my stay her at your wonderfullll camp. I only have 2
prublems. First I have run out of Wiski and the staffu refuses to
bring more. Secund the shutle driver seems to have misplaced my
guests. Besides that everytin is peachy, I exspecially like the
monkeyrs. I will recomend Samba to my business associates in Africa.

I hav caled the nimber fur mr micheal policee, but i t was nut goud
end wurking. Hav you triered to call?

I also went to knew have you made arangerments to pick my niece Ihava?

-Camper Alf

Baiting Guru Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 2531 Location: AU

i forgot about Paul Irwin. He is the late steve irwins brother

Mr Gomer is being very nice to ihava

Quote:

Hello Ihava,

It wasn't Neccessary that you come to Yaounde but it's okay now that you have arrived.I said earlier to Alfred that i have a Representative Coming over and his name is Mr.Micheal Williams so never mind because as soon as Mr.Alfred is through with Mr.Micheal,The Money will be sent to his Account.You don't have anything to Loose i can assure you on that so don't you worry at all.

Regards

Mr.Gomer

Ihava Replies

Quote:

Mr Gomer
I am travelling to the 5imba Camp. The shuttle will be here shortly.
Where is this Mr Michael. On our way back to the camp we could look for him. He seems very unreliable though.
You know it is hard to find good help these days. maybe you should come yourself instead of sending some dumb ass fool to do a mans job.you hear what im saying i need a man.
Its good to get away from my boyfriend Paul for a while. Oh I am feeling so randy with all these young, strong men around. my nickers are soaked.

Ihava

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:29 pm

^good mornin' - Some funny S$#@T happened Laughing

I hope 5imba starts to get sick of alf tearing up the place soon Laughing

I think he's busy w/ a handfull of mugu-campers or got a bit bored/sick of our lad.
Ihava looks like she could toss micheals out a window; Paul looks scarier yet Laughing

I think we need an inspector clusoe character, Laughing

So at some point I hava will have to "arrival" at camp... Unless you can think of delay tactics (that darn shuttle).

Alf told the lad-gomer he is reconsidering the deal w/ Hans.

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 12:42 am

I think Gomer cut a deal with the police to take Michael to the camp for the cash. He will have some slpaining to do when they dont find it.

Also there is but one road in there , if Ivana has to travel, its more than likely past the roadblock, I mean police station.

[quote="juju4u"]Fresh from N'lad-land:

Quote:

Hello Alf,

The Police promise that he will be taking to the Camp tomorrow[/b] so you have to Wait.

Baiting Guru Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 2531 Location: AU

wow he looks like he is travelling further up shit creek without a paddle or a boat Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:49 am

If you get the lad and the policeman to the chimpanzee camp and beyond, I may blow a gasket, in my gut. Laughing

Then, the lad will definitely be "detained." Perhaps, you will lose him for a few years.
This bait is sheer lunacy. Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 7:58 am

I'd suggest that we keep Ivhanna in Yaounde.
No point in keeping all our eggs in one basket, and having a maga elsewhere in the country could be an ace to play giving the bait a new twist later on.

With these boys being in Mundemba, they are right at the entrance to the Korup NP, and there isn't much further that we can take them, other than a hike into the forest to Chimpanzee camp.

With Ivhanna strategically located elsewhere, it gives Alf an excuse to go and find her, with the lads in tow.... Very Happy

I think Gomer has had SSC up to the back teeth, he never writes to me anymore... Sad

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 12:01 pm

Quote:

Hello Alf,

Goodmorning,Possibly Today Mr.MIcheal will be with you.So i will advice that you sort out everything and act with his Instructions and as soon as he get back to me,The Transfer of your Money will be Made.That is an Assurance from me.So stop all transaction or Contact with Hans.You can call me now if you so wish.

Regards

I just tried to call 'lawrance' it rings & rings like a vacant office phone (again). Sadly we have no IPs to check & no way to verify that the lad(s) is(are) still in Cameroon.

@5imba- I like your above plan. Thumbs up

Maybe at some point later on Alf can be mysteriously 'transfered' to Nigeria camp. We know that there's at least one lad back home in Nigeria coordinating things for the lad(s) that we think are still streded in Cameroon. Maybe we can get this one moving as well. Oh, and would it be too over the top for Ihava to somehow end up at SSC Benin?

Could you please whip off an email to the lad regarding alf's complaint; that you could not reach anybody at that number either & include @Pablo's text?

Quote:

5imba will deduct the refund for the lads suite from the bar tab, repairs to the rolled Land Rover and cost of recapuring the escaped primates.

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 12:39 pm

MAJOR UPDATE: Have a listen. I don't know, but I didn't want to take the risk of messing with unrelated 3rd parties any further. That woman sounded real to me!
http://www.4shared.com/file/56983156/ead6378b/Mundemba.html

Now what? I can't ask these people to drive him around the park, now can I?

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 12:40 pm

@Juj4U - I cant play it here, can you fill in the blanks...

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 12:45 pm

Arh.. OK:

I spoke to three people: The guy who answred the phone is mr lawrance (supposedly)... Then there was mr micheal (the one & only), & finally a rather irritated sounding mundemba tourist information center 'tourism officer'.
The story - I will let other members be the judge of the authenticity:

They want to know if I am in the park to let him in!

He has been detained for 'suspicion', 'investigation' (in other words for being shady). He is trying to talk the police into driving him. Only problem: They don't buy his story brcause they never heard of 5imba Embarassed

I started explaining to the tourism person that I won the internet lottery... He is the lottery official... I am a tourist... He is coming to collect his FEES... & she seemed ok with that Sad

... She only cares about finding out where I am.

As a side note: If that call was fo real, I think the locals have about had it with your 5imba camps LOL_sign

I want to know if it is potentially a 3rd party rule violation to call back & explain to them the directions... Past monkey camp, etc...

Edit: As suggested by 5imba: any further calls could help him out, so the line goes dead now Twisted Evil

... Not so much fun, but more productive! Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 12:52 pm

a good read about your lads travel woes

http://yermanincameroon.blogspot.com/2008/04/road-to-mundemba.html

he must have had fun travelling., I wish I could have done it.

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:04 pm

Excellent bait Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:18 pm

I was just thinking that our lad got the 'Rambo' treatment (remember that silly movie from the 80's)... Arrested for wandering through town in the middle of the night... Perhaps with an angry taxidriver in tow, perhaps not... Prosecuted for no other reason then not fitting in, being sweaty & destitute... Poor lad.

Oh well, anybody want to photoshop us a Rambo poster? Laughing

http://www.impawards.com/1988/posters/rambo_iii.jpg
http://www.crankycritic.com/archive/posters/rambo3.jpg

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:19 pm

Two photos of teh visitor information centre in Mundemba. I suspect that our lad(s) are here at this very moment.. Very Happy

And this is the Chimp camp. A 4 hour hike from the information centre.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Simba, I'm amazed that chimps were smart enough to build that. That's damn fine work, especially for chimps.

Did a chimp also do the design? Very Happy

I can only imagine the frustration the lad is feeling right now. He's got to be ready to blow a gasket.

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:28 pm

Alf says to gomer (lad-support back in nigeria):

Quote:

I just got aholf od mr micheal he has bean arestered why? the police have him why? what hapened? I was cut of but they were nut sure which camp, just tell its simba camp, past the chimpanze camp ok. pleas help him get here. tell him to walk its only a short walk past the monkeys camp

thank you end get my trendfers ready! i hop he has wiski.

EDIT: Oh no, this just in (1hr after the phone call):

Quote:

Hello Alf,

I want you to know that Mr.Micheal will be with you before evening today so you have to get everything done so that he can reture and we can effect the Transfer of your Funds.So just wait for him.I have already instructed him to buy your Whisky.You don't have to worry about the Documents to sign because his lugage containing the Documents was stolen and we have already taking note

Regards

Mr.Gomer

I hope my call did not motivate them to let him go (if he was really detained)

Quote:

Yes tank you fur remeberin my wiski!

So its al ok then the police driver him or he walks to the camp? tel me if hes walkin i meet him by the entrence near the voleyball court.?

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 3:45 pm

I think the call was legit. They were literally handing the phone around the office. No way they could put that together. I'll bet that woman knows every goat track in the park.

I think SSC is going to get thier wrists slapped for opperating an unliced camp in the park.

Lets see, riding around in the police jeep, sitting on a case of whiskey, lady from the park along, I think his hours as a free man are numbered.

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 3:48 pm

wanamaker wrote:

an unliced camp in the park.

Thats true. We had the pest control inspectors in last week.... Wink

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 4:55 pm

Ab=nother killer bee invasion? That is so not good for business....

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 4:56 pm

^^^In fairness, nobody has checked out Doc..... Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:51 pm

This intriguing message in the 5imba box this evening:

Quote:

Hello 5imba Safari,

As i am sending this Email,Mr.Micheal is in Chapazine Camp.Korup National Park and with someone who is Trying to Lead him to the 5imbe Safari Group.I don'y know if you can go and Located him there or call him first thing Tomorrow Morning through this Number. +23774214427.

Thanks
Mr.Gomer

Has the intrepid Mister Michaels really taken a 4 hour hike through the Korup rainforest...... Shocked

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