Evil "love Lad" kills it off - THE SWINE! REVENGE!

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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:52 am

The latest Lad to deal with , one May0r Ak1m, is turning out to be not the sharpest knife in the drawer...

After the bog-standard ALL CAPS opening letter, it came as a surprise when his next message read:

Quote:

dear friend how are you ,who died is MR.4D4MS S4L4H, i choose you because is a divine direction froim GOD i know that we will make good relations and after we get this fund we will invest in your country,so if you will help i will give more steps ,before we apply. finally is risk free transaction ,because am working in the bank ,and this is my opputunity to resign and invest.

And this is his idea of a "form":

Quote:

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.................................................................. ........ 1............................the undersighned of...................hereby apply for the release of the($12.5musd) that is in your bank since yet un claim ,i am the foreign partner to the deceased customer to the deposited fund in your coffers i am sorry for not contacting this bank since for the release is due to some circumstances beyond my control and i will like the bank to release this fund to my banking details stated below.bank name...............................bank adress..............................bank account no..............................bank swift code..............................escrow account no ooo588974tel nos.............................occupation............................... .age..................................marital status.............................home adress.........................i will be highly favoured if my application is granted.thanks in advanceyours faithfullyname and sign..................................bank email

And when Cammy got this:

Quote:

dear brother you will have to fill other informations and send our bank will find out the swift code of your bank online during transfer to your bank okay ,fill it and leave the (swift code) blank ,our bank will get it themselve ,dont worry abouit that to avoid delay,you have to send the form at least this weekend so that by monday they will see the application in there dest online.

It was time for a mild slap:

Quote:

Don't call me "brother"! ... not even my father would have been so cruel as to call a boy Camille.
Anyway, I found the swift code and sent the application yesterday. I'll let you know what happens.

But today this had me chuckling:

Quote:

hello i heard you ,what do i call you tell me she or boy,or friend ,what do i call you , thanks for sending the application ,you can also send the swift code again to the bank ,is for more fast and more trust,pls always keep me posted.

Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 10:33 am

Tell him to refer to you as M'lady, or Your Highness, and insist he stands to attention when emailing you.

Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:13 pm

Sorry, PVJ, but I didn't read your advice in time:

Quote:

You can call me Ms White if you want, but NEVER call me "boy"! And the picture I attached should make it clear why!

He got this - a cropped picture of Sophie Monk in Baghdad:

This is his reply - busy night!

Quote:

your beautiful ,thanks for the photo thanks for your photo again ,and this is mine so that we both will know each other.

And here he is:

Cammy was impressed:

Quote:

You're wasted on banking! By Freyja's glory, I think you and I could be great in photos together!
The bank did send me some forms - I'm looking them over. I'll get back to you.
By the way - call me Cammy - all my friends do.

This just in:

Quote:

thanks for the compliments ,you mean am good for model or photos ,anyway tell me more ,and thanks for the update ,i will like to know more informations of the bank email today and all they sent you ,and also you have to make all thing fast ,so that they will approve this fund without delay.

To Hel with making things fast. Cammy wants to see him without a shirt on...

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:00 pm

This bait is going places I haven't taken to before...

Since things were getting predictable, I tossed this at the Lad:

Quote:

It ain't my fault if you're so distracting - made me totally forget about the questionnaire thingy and the other form! Sometimes I'm too blonde for my own good - or that's what my brother says. He's a soldier, serving overseas; I love him dearly but he can be so overprotective!
As for what you can do - I've got a few suggestions but they make me moist just thinking about them!!!

When he dodged that, I threw in another:

Quote:

Not so fast - you're one picture ahead of me right now - send me one of you in a t-shirt and I'm good to go on, but not before then! Mmmmrrrooooooowhhrr!
Hot for you!

At last:

Quote:

hello darlyn call me 0022678484271 are you in love with me why another photo tell me cant you wait till i come over

Gotcha!

Quote:

And since you ask... yes I am! Freyja tells us to be open about our desires. So where's that picture?
Touching myself now

And then:

Quote:

hello darlyn will you still love me if am married ,is a question ,can you come to africa and se me face to face. do you want us to complete this transaction ,and i join you ,or you dont ,tell me ,or that you want us to be in love and exchange mails ,do you really love me ,tell me ,and why you love me ,so dearly ,i cares for you which am sure ,but i want to be sure on your side ,before i commit myself. early answser will be appreciated , finally we have to complete this transaction ,because i want to resign in banking industry and face reality. i cant sleep at night again only thinking of you. youir one in a million sweatie , your beautiful,i must confess. have a sweat dream tonight ,but dont be wet. frank

"frank"?

Cammy fires back:

Quote:

If that's your way of saying that you're already married, then maybe you should have said it from the git go! That's NOT what I wanted to hear. Why didn't you level with me?
Tell me this. If we go ahead with this, do you promise to leave your wife and be mine alone? I broke up with my boyfriend last year because he became a born-again and dissed the Aesir and that I don't forgive!
I want your total honesty in this.

Then these arrive!

Quote:

dear sweat heart my love
forgive me if i have hurt your feeling ,but you have my promise if you help get this fund out ,i will come to you and will never return to africa,am sorry for not letting you know earlier ,the lady am with is the one that helped me in the banking industry ,but i dont love her the way i love you , after i saw you i fell in love ,now if you assuire me that if you will not betray me ,i will be you alone and forever.
let me tell you one good news ,i will make you happy at bed.
help me to pull the fund out and i want you to contact the bank now.

Quote:

dear cammy darlyn
I LOVE YOU ,i wish am with you ,or your here i will show you my love right from the dept of my heart ,be fast in helping release this money so that i will be yours and we can gum together forever and have issues.

That last line has me laughing and shaking my head in bewilderment!

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:06 pm

BWAAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAH Laughing

What is "gumming together"??? Shocked

Sharing the same bubble gum maybe? Rolling Eyes

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:07 pm

GUM together forever, is that as in Genitourinary Medicine clinic? you sure would have issues. agree to have sex with him only if he uses this level of protection

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 11:57 pm

Well, it continues!

Quote:

Just make sure you keep your word to me. I don't forgive!
I'm raising my spirit to Freyja tonight - alone, which is annoying - but the Lady understands. She'll guide my heart. Do you have any religion? It may be important.

He doesn't - interesting:

Quote:

hello honey ,i dont go to church ,i believe of myself,unless if you join me with your religion ,i assure you that ,all is ok and you have my promise and trust.

That's so unlike a Lad!

I'm taking a chance here...

Quote:

I raised my spirit before Freyja and the Lady seemed pleased to know that I found love... but that I must be sure of it. Words are cheap and easy. I need a pledge from you... words that last and that I can hold on to. Write out the words of your devotion on a piece of paper, and sign your name, and dedicate it to Freyja the Golden; then scan it and send it to me. I want to see all that you've promised me on that paper - all the words you've used. I feel that you are the man for me - but I want that pledge so that I can place it before the Goddess when I raise my spirit to her next. Then we can build a future. I'm waiting, my sweet.

Promising - but he's still a bit focussed on the money, damn it!

Quote:

hello darlyn i will do that ,and scan to you ,also i will like you to promise me that you will help me to finish this transaction ,no matter what it will cost us ,that you will be there for me ,because i can se that we are mearnt to be together. love you, this transaction is all i have and i need to release that money ,from the bank ,and also you hvae to write the bank and ask them to give us little time like few days to sort out things.

Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 12:50 pm

One of my lads sent me an offer I couldn't refuse!

"i am trying to get out of here before the whole issue becomes so complecated.just get me and my family out of here and you will gat a big surprise for one.

when i come over i will make sure i give you a big aids ok.you are a very good and kind man i must confess due to your concern."

Umm, an offer of AIDS from Africa. Anyone else want in on this offer?

Okay, its taken out of context he actually wanted to help me, not give me AIDS, I hope!

Its a good line to fire back at them though. Feel free to use it.

Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 2:22 pm

Quote:

youir one in a million sweatie

I think he's in looooooooooooove!!

Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 2:52 pm

Quote:

i know that we will make good relations

Ask him for specifics.

Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 2:54 pm

Super Girl wrote:

when i come over i will make sure i give you a big aids ok.you are a very good and kind man i must confess due to your concern."

At least you'll be getting the original stuff, straight from Africa, where it comes from. No imitations. Import quality.

Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 11:51 pm

This just in:

Quote:

hello honey i need a bond that will help in this transaction financially ,socially and spiritually ,and that you will not betray my love ,and sign it too and send me ,like that we both become perfect match for one another.my words never change unless if your do,mine is solid like a rock,i will do what you said and you too do as i say. i love you .

He wants me to do a pledge? Time to think...

Cammy replied to his previous email thus:

Quote:

Please hurry with the pledge - I made a promise to the Goddess to place the pledge before her soon, and I don't want to risk her anger. She's a generous Lady, but doesn't forgive broken promises. I guess I have an affinity with her in that regard.
I'll let the bank know there'll be some delays.
What are you like in bed? What do you prefer in sex? Is there anything you won't do to please a woman?

More to come...

Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 10:47 am

Quote:

release this money so that i will be yours and we can gum together forever and have issues

Signature material me thinks!

Hilarious!!

Laughing

Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 11:49 am

Yastreb wrote:

More to gum...

I can't wait, this is hilarious stuff Laughing

Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 11:49 am

I feel a little uneasy even pasting this next bit... be warned, he doesn't hold back...

Quote:

dear loveling thanks for your mail ,now i am very good in bed ,and i can do anything to please a woman i love ,just like you ,now i will write it ,and i will type the letter in my pc and sign it and send to you ,before i do it ,i will like you to promise me that you will help me in anyway to release this fund from the bank ,and anything about finacing the transaction ,you will support me ,and also tell the bank about the little delay,and also that you will not betray me ,then i will sign and write the paper of my promise to your fredja , get back to me ,and promise me i will send yours tomorrow ,if you ignore mine i will know your not loving me. i am wounderful in bed i can suck your puzzy till your wet and i can lick your white object till is dry.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 15 Jul 2008 Posts: 84

white object? wtf? I missed that part of anatomy class!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 22 Jul 2008 Posts: 12

one question.
I'm an adult, born in the 1970's and I've been with a few women, but I was wondering what is "your white object"?

Laughing

Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 12:13 pm

^^^ "object"

Confused

Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 12:17 pm

^^ think it's about cleaning up after the party like a well behaved pet. Confused

Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 12:23 pm

@dutchbait

Well, look at his face in that photo...

He`s clearly a good (clean) man at heart.

Smile

Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 4:27 pm

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 8:52 am

The other good thing about this one is that I'm double-baiting him. My newest persona, , just sent him a salvo of renamed dlls - first as JPEGs, then as BMPs (the last about 4 Meg worth - download time would have been bad).

Quote:

the documents you sent me cant be opened ,i really want to know the questions that the bank asked you ,about the applicant form ,i know is about youyr details ofd ban,k and personal infos,
what did they ask you in the quest and what do you answer ,because the attachment you sent me cant be oipened ,unless you resend it by me in another format ,it cant be opened

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:52 pm

Quote:

and i can lick your white object till is dry

W...T...F...??

I'm.... so... confused... and a little grossed out but I don't know by exactly what...

WHAT A MAROON! Laughing

I love how he was flattered by the idea he could be a model -- you threw a little sparkle in his eyes. This is great stuff, Yastreb.

But this 'white object' thing is apt to haunt my very dreams.

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:58 pm

Just in...

Quote:

dear darlyn my bond attached for your perusal ,if you fail me i will not forgive you , i remain yours forever

I posted the actual JPEG bond in the pictures area; but he sent a word doc version too. Here it is!

Quote:

THIS IS TO CONFIRM TO MY LOVE MS /THAT I MR OF BANK OF AFRICA BF TODAY CONFIRMS TO YOU THAT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND I WILL LEAVE MY FIANCEE FOR YOU FOREVER IF YOU HELP ME IN MY TRANSACTION .
I WILL NEVER GO CONTRARY TO MY WORDS
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT I WILL NEVER LET ANYTHING HURT YOU AND THAT I CAN DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE TO A WOMAN I CARES FOR AND WISHES TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH.
MS WHITE I LOVE YOU AND I MEARNT ALL I HAVE SAID I USED MY OFFICIAL STAMP OF MY DESK TO SHOW HOW URGENT AND SERIOUS YOUR NAME REFLECTS IN MY HEARING AND MY HEART.YOU HAVE A PLACE IN MY HEART AND I WANT YOU TO HEAL THE WOUNDS OF MY HEART .
I WILL BE YOURS IF YOU HELP ME AND I WILL DIVORCE MY FIANCEE TO BE YOURS AS EARLIER SAID .TODAY I WHOLE HEARTEDLY WRITE THIS LETTER TO PROVE HOW MY HEART YEARNS FOR YOUR LOVE.
MY WORDS CANT BE CHANGED BUT TO BE ACCOMPLISHED IF YOU WILL HERKEN TO YOUR PROMISE TOO ON YOUR SIDE.THAT YOU WILL NEVER BETRAY ME OR ABANDONE ME TO ANY OTHER LOVER YOU MIGHT HAVE IN NEAR FUTURE /BECAUSE I WANT TO STAY WITH YOU AND SPENT THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU AFTER OUR TRANSACTION IS COMPLETED.
FINALLY I REMAIN YOURS AND MY WORD IS MY BOND .
YOU WILL BE MINE FOREVER AND I WILL LEAVE MY FINACEE FOR YOU AND ONLY YOU FOREVER IF YOU HELP ME COMPLETE THIS TRANSACTION WHICH IS MY MAJOR PROBLEM TO ENABLE ME RESIGN AND COME OVER TO YOU.
YOURS SINCERELY
MR
FOR

ETA masking

Master Baiter Joined: 16 Jul 2008 Posts: 146

Moan that it's conditional and that love should be free of restraint. That of course you will help him, but that you are worried that the only reason he wants your help is because of your trust fund and that your father is in banking.

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