Dan safari copout

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Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:14 pm

I just got the following reply to my previous Email:

Quote:

I called him,he said that you are a nonesense person that i should not mind you

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Sorry Roy, he never left home, the lying sack of shit.

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:22 pm

I just listened to the call, thanks IG, hard to know what to make of him - he was emailing me from somewhere strange in the middle of the night, and thought he was talking to me - still bleating about the lorry breaking down.

Definitely a sack of shit though.

A mistake giving him Gomer's lad's number, now he knows Simba is a nonsense person!

Jayhawk will be round to Kill him soon anyway, he gave IG his adress. Laughing

I unclaim a safari, but he was definitely somewhere strange at midnight.

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:35 pm

A great lesson in just how much detail and work it takes to get a lad to travel. Another must read for all us noobs!

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:40 pm

Was is the same address as the cheeky bugger just agve me?

Quote:

Well this is a kinda let down,i tried my best to turnup but it was the drivers fault,this is somehow disgusting,your company can send a bus down here,or don't you people have an agent or an associated transport company,tell them to come and collect me here in benin city that can take my to Abuja??,if yes,contact him and tell him about whats going on so you can tell him to contact me through this address.

My Address,
No 3B Iyase Street,
Off 2nd West Circular,
Benin City,Edo State,
Nigeria.

I'll be expecting your fast response over this issue,i'm in a friends house now,please get back to me as fast as possible with useful information.

Regards,
Dan

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:54 pm

Yes, same address. Kill him an extra time for me, Agent Jones. I'm confused. does he still believe any of this is real?

I think he's trying it on, to get the bus to come to him, being the lazy shit that he is, but he still believes there's a bus?

And he thinks you're 'somehow disgusting'. Custom tag? Laughing

Roy to Dan:

Quote:

Dan you are a lying sack of shit, you were never in Abuja.

See you in hell.

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:50 pm

Without doubt Dan is THE laziest and stupidest lad in scamdom ( and that is saying a lot!!!)

Looking on the bright side - with an attitude like his he is very unlikely to make any money scamming this side of Armageddon. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

The good agent, who has been trying to keep Dan alive, sent him this:

Quote:

Are you insane? Agent J0nes talked to you today and said that you gave him your address. What in the hell is wrong with you? Do you not realize that he means to kill you? Agent J0nes said that he got hold of your telephone number and your were stupid enough to tell him where you live. He is right now putting a task force together to come and get you.

If you don't believe me here is the address that Agent J0nes has:

No 3B Iyase Street,
Off 2nd West Circular,
Benin City,Edo State,
Nigeria.

What if the f*ck were you thinking? Do you think that bullets won't penetrate that so-called brain of yours? Seriously, I have tried to help you and keep you alive all I can, but you lie to me constantly and now you go and give J0nes your home address. You are truly stupid.

Interpol Agent F3stus Cl3tus

We'll what Dan has to say about this.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Cilla wants to know what she is supposed to do with the pajamas.

That's the good guy? LOL

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Even the good guy is pissed at Dan. Dan is really easy to hate.

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 3:24 am

Did someone say pajamas? Cool

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:49 am

This whole Dan-thing still has me puzzled...
Could it be possible (timewise) that he actually did go to Abuja (almost 450 km from Benin City) came to the conclusion that he must have missed the bus and went back almost immediately? Later he phoned Gomer's lad and decided that Simba was nonsense...
I don't see any other logic explanation for the call...

I think sometimes we might underestimate lads, even if they are Dan... and even as he is just so easy to hate, he sometimes could be less stupid as we think?
But then, for him to send all these messages to his dad and make up a story about the broken down truck, make the phonecall and all while still in Benin, now that might have been a bit above his capabilities?

Suppose he still did believe Roycropper's story (with a bit of doubt maybe) after communications stopped more than 6 month's ago, and he decides to get in contact when he finds out about Man U playing in Nigeria...
He get's the instruction to go to Abuja but as he is the laziest git in the world, he doesn't feel like going... so could he come up with the plan to stay home, make up a story about missing the bus and be convinced that he can get Roy to send all the gifts and money to his doostep?

Or could he even be afraid to meet Roy and the team in person at all, because he knows they would see what a human failure he really is, so trying to get money and gifts is his only hope anyway?

Anyway, there's no chance you can get him to come to Calabar for the match anymore? (don't know when they play) I mean, he would only have to come to the stadium (ok, pay for a ticket because the security-guy's outside wouldn't recognize an all-access-pass) but once inside he should just approach security around the team, show the pass and then he's in... Roy would pay for all his expenses, he would travel with the team back to the camp, and of course he will get his share of the tripple-G's like the other players (that is Gift's, Girls and Goodies...)

Man, I can already picture Danny-boi franticly waiving his all access pass and crying out for Roy as he's forced to the ground by 3 security guy's while the team-bus leaves the stadium... Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:19 am

Does he not live in Benin City? He has given me addresses there before, though not this one. I have looked for the adress we sent his Aston Martin to but not found it. Paging Mr S Patroller...

This is Dan 2 years ago, pretending to be his Doctor, trying to get out of a trip to Abuja:

Quote:

Hello Friend,
how are you today hope everything is fine please mr Cropper i was very sorry that Daniel couldnt make his trip to Abuja on his way to Abuja he got an accident and he is in the hosphital now he is very seriously wounded and he told me to write you this may that you should please tell the white man that is coming to first wait till he gets better and he told me too to tell you to please help him with some money and without anything i cannot give dan any treatment ok
regards
Dr johnson frank

He also pretended to be his mum, with equally comedic results. Rolling Eyes

He now is claiming he came to Benin city from Delta State (nearer the coast) and that's where the lorry packed up. the other day he distinctly told me he was in Abuja. basically the lying little toerag has pretended to be stredded at home, so I will sympathise and have him picked up, he always expects door to door service, that's how his DB5 went astray. How the hell he can still believe any of this, after Gomer's lad 'outed' Simba is beyond belief... Shocked

Quote:

I told you that our lorry got faulty,we are still in Benin City

Quote:

R0ys R0lls
to daninowalter

show details 18:50 (15 hours ago)

You said you went to the hotel. You live in Benin City.
You are using the same computer that you did 2 weeks ago.
Go away don't waste my time

Quote:

Dan Danino to me

show details 19:02 (15 hours ago)

Who told you that,i am in a friends house here in benin city,i tried to collect some money from him,but he said he don't have money,i am not using the same computer,i'm a kinda brook i don't have money now thats why,what can you do for me now dad,i'm not using the same computer i'm not in our community,this is a friends hows i am in Benin city.

I hope to hear from you sooner,i'm stranded

Quote:

Shitsack,

What part of:

'Hello dad,i am in abuja now,but i went to the hotel i did'nt see any bus why dad,why i was late was because our lorry got a fault on our way to Abuja that was why i was late,so when will i be expecting you dad,i'm stranded now,no were to stay.'

Have I misunderstood?

You live in Benin City don't you? you have given me that as an address before.

I don't help liars, you have let me down and I haven't time for this, I have a football tour to run.

Get yourself to Yankari, or take your pass scan to Calabar for the match against Portsmouth, they will let you in the ground at the players entrance
I've done what I can for you.

Roy

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 11:38 am

Hope he buy's it, although Dan being Dan, I wouldn't put my money on him showing up... (Calabar would be great...)

You have him hooked from other angle's isn't he? please make his life miserable, he truly deserves it... Evil or Very Mad

(or just wait another 6 month's, Rinse and Repeat Very Happy

)

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Roy, can you pm me the email address Dan is using. I want to make sure I'm not using an old one.

Quote:

Suppose he still did believe Roycropper's story (with a bit of doubt maybe) after communications stopped more than 6 month's ago, and he decides to get in contact when he finds out about Man U playing in Nigeria... He get's the instruction to go to Abuja but as he is the laziest git in the world, he doesn't feel like going... so could he come up with the plan to stay home, make up a story about missing the bus and be convinced that he can get Roy to send all the gifts and money to his doostep?

Bingo. I am 100% convinced that Dan believes all of this. Truly and totally 100% convinced that Dan believes. He is convinced that Roy is the head of the Manchester United Club. He fully believes that Agent J0nes is trying to kill him. He fully believes that he lost both his limo and his Astin Martin. He fully believes that he was in communication with Charles S0ludo, who, in addition to being the head of Nigerian banking, is a barrister that runs an investment firm. He fully believes that Interp0l arrested his girlfriend and labeled him a terrorist. He honestly and truly believes everything you tell him. He's just too f*cking lazy to do anything about it. He expects everything to be hand delivered to his door.

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 1:15 pm

From Simba's post above:

No 3B Iyase Street,
Off 2nd West Circular,
Benin City,Edo State,
Nigeria.

That's the same address he gave over the phone yesterday, to Inspector Gadget.

If he truly beleives you are coming to pop a cap in his ass, he actually might get up off the settee.
But then again it may be too much trouble..

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

My bad Roy. I meant the email addie.

Interpol has quite a few addies for him, I just want to make sure he didn't open up a new account.

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 11:40 pm

If we have his postal address, perhaps we can cunningly use it as a rendezvous point for other lads "my business partner Dan at <address> has the cash for you, I wired it to him today. Do make sure he gives it all to you though, he's had his fee already but he can get greedy sometimes, and sometimes makes up stories"

If we can get a trail of arsey lads demanding money off him at home, he may get off his lazy arse even if it is to run away!

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

@manbiteslion I think that is the third street address Dan has had in the past year.

He was living with his mom and step dad but after he went to visit ARK in Ghana his mom kicked him out. He then went to live with what he called his "chairman". He had access to a computer in a private home then with a cam and he liked to play with his new toy. He produced some nice pictures for us. He is not online like he was and the change of address leads me to believe that the chairman kicked him out. This part is purely speculation but I suspect he wasn't pulling in any business.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He was either kicked out or he left on his own because he thought Jones was coming to kill him, and Jones had his address. This is a new address that Jones just stumbled upon. Very Happy

Let's see where he ends up next.

Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 5:48 pm

I just gave Dan's mate a quick ring, Dan is not there at the moment, and he wouldn't tell me where Dan was. I think he has gone into hiding. I told the mate to give Dan a message to get to Abuja by 12:00 Tuesday at the latest.

Sadly, he definitely didn't travel previously, his mate grassed him up and said that Dan hasn't got enough money, or a mobile phone. I will call again on Monday morning between 09:00 and 10:00 BST to find out what Dan is up to.

The mate still thinks I am Roy.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

It's been a few days, so I thought a Dan update was due. The "good" agent finally got an answer from Dan. Starting off with "Good Agent" to Dan. NSFW language:

Quote:

You know what? I don't give a sh*t anymore. You are so f*cking stupid that the world would be a better place if Jones took you out and put a bullet in your head.

When your nuts are in a vice and Jones is tightening the vice and telling you about how he raped your girlfriend, I want you to think of me. When Jones is f*cking you up the a$$ I want you to think of me. When Jones is very slowly peeling the skin off of your arm I want you to think of me. When Jones is plucking your eyeball out and squishing it between his fingers, I want you to think of me. Think of me, and think of how you ignored my warnings. Think of how much better the world is without a f*ckwad like you living in it.

Go ahead and die. I've done everything I can to help you, and you don't even have the decency to return my emails. I just don't f*cking care anymore.

Interpol Agent F3stus Cl3tus

That's actually a pretty tame email to Dan. Dan finally responds:

Quote:

Thats not my address is a junky address,sorry i am not even in Nigeria ok Thanks God Bless for your advice

Hopefully everyone is starting to understand why those of us that have dealt with Dan for years now hate him. He lies at every turn. Constantly. He believes everything you tell him, but he's just too damn lazy to do anything about it.

Cl3tus responds:

Quote:

So now you think that you are going to evade Jones? Jones tracks people down for a living! People much smarter than you (and that's pretty much 100% of the worlds population and most types of vegetables).

Why did you lie to me and tell me that you turned yourself in when you didn't? Wait, I know the answer to that. You did it because YOU HAVE THE BRAINS THAT GOD GAVE A STEAMING PILE OF SH*T!

Maybe you have moved to another house. If so, I want you to understand the dangerous position that you put your former housemate in. Jones will torture him for information regarding where you are. It doesn't matter if your housemate knows where you are or not. Jones will torture him for the fun of it.

Do you think that I am doing this for Jones? Do you honestly think that I am going to go back to Jones and say "Hey Jones, you know that idiot you are tracking? Well, he's not in Nigeria anymore!"? Do you think that Jones gives two hoots what I say to him or what I think?

Like I said, you have f*cked things up so many times that I don't care what happens to you. I know that you are not the head of an International Crime Syndicate, like Jones says you are. I don't think you have the brains to successfully wipe your own a$$.

Enjoy the torture!

Interpol Agent F3stus Cl3tus

Dan may very well have moved on. Inspector, if you want to give him another call go ahead. If you don't get him you might want to tell the person you get hold of what type of trouble Dan is in. Very Happy

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Quote:

Thats not my address is a junky address,sorry i am not even in Nigeria ok Thanks God Bless for your advice

Jayhawk, you nearly made me spit eggs all over my monitor.

Dan keeps sending incomprehensible off line messages to F.

Quote:

As the cry of a baby attracts it mothers attention so shall your needs and cry attract God. Today he will give to you all you needs for the year.say amen and send it to all ur friends and God will answer your needs

Quote:

THE TRUE GOD HAS NO FATHER

Most days, he simply says hello. Fiona has not been online recently because she was busy giving birth in Maiduguri.

Can't she escape or something?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I think an escape by F would be a good thing. I wonder how Dan is going to handle the fact that F had Agent Jones's baby though.

Could F do some sort of daring escape from the hospital, making sure she grabs her child? Very Happy

Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:46 pm

Jayhawk wrote:

Hopefully everyone is starting to understand why those of us that have dealt with Dan for years now hate him. He lies at every turn. Constantly. He believes everything you tell him, but he's just too damn lazy to do anything about it.

It's even worse, I've come to hate him only by reading his reply's in the baits Smile

but for some strange reason I keep reading...

Great work!