Stupid names for children

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Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:49 am

Some poor girl in NZ was given the name "Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii" by her parents, whom I'm guessing weren't from the upper reaches of society. Other ridiculous names given include "Number 16 Bus Shelter" and "Violence" and "Benson & Hedges" (twins). Thankfully officials blocked the parents who wanted to call their offspring "Sex Fruit". CLICKY

What is it with these people? Knowing what kids are like in the playground, why would anyone want to put their kid through a minimum of 16 years of taunting followed by several decades of unemployability? The rule I have abided by for my kids is that if King or Queen (insert name here) would sound stupid then forget it.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

I happened upon a play ground recently and heard a mother calling after her son: "Maverick....Maverick...get down from there."

I started calling my kids "Goose" and "Iceman" shortly thereafter.

If you don't get the reference (e.g. you're under 30), Google the movie "Top Gun"...

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:11 pm

same goes with celebrities though

Apple, Peaches, Brooklyn etc etc lol

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:28 pm

Sunday Rose. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:34 pm

Whats wrong with Leaf, River, Rain, Liberty and Summer Bottom ? (Bottom is the real last name of the Phoenix kids!) Confused

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:43 pm

According to Steven Pile's The Book of Heroic Failures, here are some names from the 19th century that didn't last the test of time.

Babberley
Clapham
Despair
Energetic
Lettuce
Murder
Tram
Uz
Wonderful

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:10 pm

Some years ago one of my brothers was in Wales and he over heard a mother calling to her son, "John Thomas come here". They had to stop themselves from laughing.

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:10 pm

Talk about coincidence.

My wife and I have just got back from a pre-natal scan.
All the way home we've been trying to think of names and I've been coming up with the daft ones and she's been doing the sensible ones.

Over halfway through the pregnancy and we still don't have a name. To make it worse, we don't know if it's a girl or a boy so I've got both to find.

Despair Genitalia sounds like a good one for a boy. Doubt if she'll go with it though.

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:12 pm

I have a few names for a baby when me and the missus have one but no doubt she will shoot them down lol

i wanted Xander for a boy and lucy for a Girl

this was before i met her

after i met her i realised she already has two kids and they are called Alexander and Lucy-anne lol

how weird is that

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:13 pm

Why not put all the names in a hat and then pick one.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

Moon Unit & Dweezil (Zappa)

If I were to have daughter (and since I have joined the "Capon Society" I doubt that it will happen anytime soon) I would name her Scout, after the character in the Harper Lee novel.

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:29 pm

Actually, Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii would be a good name for a baiting character. You could probably even send out a fake passport with that on in the hope that the lad would add it to his tool kit Very Happy

Or how about, taking inspiration from the Harry Enfield Slob characters, Spudulika, Frogmella, or Ashtray (the latter being a boy's name of course)?

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:40 pm

A friend told me there is an unwritten law in Portugal, that all boys must be called 'Jorge' or have it as part of their full name.
I have no idea if this is true, but what an imposition if it is.

The parents in the story have gone overboard giving the child such a name, but the judge has got some issues of his own with nonconformists I would submit. Making the child a ward of the court is just as silly.

*Edit* Cleared up my meaning.

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:49 pm

One of my many offspring is named ''Press Button B' after she was conceived in a phone box. And yes, before you ask, her mother was indeed a very very beautiful woman.

Her brother,who followed a couple of years later was called' Out Of Order'. Which is quite appropriate really, because he has started developing ADS tendancies.

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:52 pm

I have a feeling that heiresses Ima and Ura Hogg didn't get teased much. Nor, probably, did Armand Hammer.

My grandmother and aunt were both named Queen. Made it kind of hard to sell the monogrammed linens after they passed on. And in similar vein, an acquaintance named his son Quinn Xavier simply to give him a unique set of initials.

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 4:30 pm

Reaper wrote:

Sunday Rose. Rolling Eyes

When I first heard that on the radio, I was convinced they'd called her 'Sunday Roast'.

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 4:44 pm

The things we worry about, eh Laughing

Over 6 billion people so a "different" name can't be that bad and they can always change it later, so what's in a name ?

The first one was a girl so they called her Girly, the second one a son born on Easter so this now 50+ old 350 pound guy now goes under the name Bunny.
And that Dutch guy I met who changed his family name so the Canadians can now pronounce it too, how weird is he Question

It's not the name, but the person behind it.

A boy named Sue Wink

Edit: just thought of a few friends from the fifties. BoemBoem now calling herself Barbara and Tomtijn, her sister, happy complete adults with kids and no I don't know their names Laughing

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 4:51 pm

windypops wrote:

Making the child a ward of the court is just as silly.

If I'm reading the story right, he only did that for long enough that the name could be changed....

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 pronounced Albin was a name given to their son by a Swedish couple.
I'd always fancied the name Lavender for a girl but going through life being known as Lavvy made me think again
Dont know if its a Scots thing but in past generations we have a long line of people named one thing and known by another i.e
Minnie ( Wilhemina ), Queenie ( Victoria ), Effie ( Euphemia ), Mae ( Mary ), Jean ( Jane ), Ena ( Thomasina )
My mum had a fairly common name but was known by something else all her life and it wasnt even a diminutive of her name ( we could tell which nurses had actually read her notes by what they called her )

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

I wanted to give my son the middle name of NoMiddleName, but my wife, a staunch traditionalist, overruled me.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

@Ts I wish I'd thought of that Laughing

I did have to change the order of my sons name to make the initials look better. ( Ok he would have been D.A.M...)

Its always a good idea to check how the name and diminutives will sound together

My eldest always threatened to use Frogmella for a girl and Guttering for a boy if she got pregnant

@ Pastor didnt Demi Moore and Bruce Willis use that name?

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:34 pm

My Grandmother was named Nelsina Peterina which my parents wanted to pass along to me. Thank God, the nurse talked them out of it! However, my sister named her daughter Nelsina Marie. We just call her Nel. Those Danish people are silly when it comes to names.

Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:49 pm

@ NannyOgg, Those were the names of Frank Zappa's kids.

Some celeb named their child "Apple" recently.

I know a woman named Theone and another named Theon.

Oh and Tommy Chong named his daughter Rey Dawn (the spelling might be off). I always wondered if he was high at the time. Confused

I was asked to give names to my sister's kids. They liked "Denice", but for some reason vetoed "Denephew". Shocked