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Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:52 am

Quote:

just in case anyone should ever have a shred of doubt as to how big of a TWAT you are.

Someone else thinks he's the biggest TWAT. Laughing

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:15 am

Professor So And So wrote:

Anyone out there want to take up the task of creating a funny but realistic looking Certificate of Authenticity for Miracle's new Reverend position in the TWAT? Laughing

The humor should be subtle.

i cant seem to find it, what is Miracles full name, and what date do you want on it?

here it is now

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:32 am

^^^ You didn't spell "Apocalyptic" properly. Not that they'd notice. Laughing

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:38 am

^^^^
o, hell. i can fix it when i fill in the rest, tho! lol!

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:58 am

I may need to get one of those from you if my lad actually gets off his ass and finishes his monument.

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:28 am

sure ssa, its available to anyone who wants one, just save it from here or pm me with the name and such and i'll fill it in for you.

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 3:32 am

Here is Miracle's full name:

@ SSA - Your guy thinks he's Lagos' biggest TWAT. None of our current TWATs are from Nigeria, so until Adamu makes it home, he probably has the title.

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 4:16 am

^^^^^^
done. see pm.

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 6:22 am

Good to hear they're all save and sound in N'Djamena and Miracle reached the status of Reverend...

but what are their plans for the time being, as they are waiting for Dover to arrive? I mean there are 3 TWATS in Chad at the same at the same place... isn't it a waste of potential if they would just hang around waiting at the WU-doorsteps as they could as well spend their time more usefull? For example with the erection of a Monument of Faith? Borrowing bags and shoveling dirt to fill them would surely take their worried minds away from their financial problems and make them sleep well at night... Let alone for the great teambuiling effect it would have on them, as already said by Leia...

And wasn't there the (bit naïve) TWAT-trainee back at the headquarters who is writing an article on the Chadian-TWATS for the TWAT-newsletter, asking for an interview with the newly installed Reverend (wasting their internet-time with stupid questions) and for which a nice picture is required to go with article? (Preferably all 3 TWAT's pictured at a recognizable spot in N'Djamena, for example the presidental palace, taken close enough to the palace for them to get kicked out by Security?)

Anyway, give them something to do because this is not a vacation... Twisted Evil

BTW: Great Work guys!

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 7:15 am

And the show goes on Laughing

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 8:04 am

This just came into the Dover account. It's a one sentence e-mail from the Ghana TWATs kid back home:

Quote:

my dad is with mirracle in chade now you can call them

No hello, no good bye, but what a great e-mail. I wonder what they're all doing. I hope he manages to get used to the mosquitoes.

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 8:47 am

great greaT greAT grEAT gREAT GREAT Very Happy

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:08 am

Yastreb wrote:

Quote:

Prof- can you call Christ later?

For some reason that had me laughing really hard!

In fact, so hard I did myself an injury! All yesterday I had a pain in the right side of my chest when I coughed, laughed, or drew a deep breath.

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:17 am

I had one real main goal with this chat today, and that was to build up their hope and trust as much as possible. Dover is supposed to arrive today, and when the hammer falls that he isn't making it, and in fact is in their hometown, I want it to fall HARD. This isn't as funny as our usual chats, but it's is pure manipulation. He is actually happy right now.

Quote:

me: Reverend Charles?
This is William
I looked for you all earlier
Are you there?

TWAT: yes

me: Ah, good morning
Is this Reverend Charles?

TWAT: Your lordship
Goodmorning

me: Well, it's actually very late in the evening here
About 2:30 AM
I waited up without sleep to talk with you

TWAT: We have not heard from Rev Benjamin yet

me: He will be there today

TWAT: thanks
PM me: He had a longer than expected layover in New York, I found out.

TWAT: ok

me: There was some mechanical problem with the plane
They had to fix it before the flight left
But he will call me when he gets in, and then we will conference casll with you to get everyone together

TWAT: ok

me: So what is the status of things there?
How is Godspower?

TWAT: He is here and ok waits to settle his debts

me: Is his driver there as well?

TWAT: What axcact time is Rev Benjamin arriving today?
because, we do not have money to stay longer in the cyber

me: I am not certain, but I was told that he would be calling me at around 5:30 PM Chadian time

TWAT: Internet service is very expensive here

me: Were you happy that I have promoted you to Reverend?
That was a big decision
I had to push you through the clergy
They trusted my decision
Please do not fail me

TWAT: Yes your lordship, but I cannot do without carry the trustees here along

me: What do you mean?

TWAT: especially, regards to financing

me: I have sent Reverend Benjamin all the way to Chad to deal with this
What more can I do?

TWAT: ok

me: One thing I have learned in all of my years, is that the lord works in mysterious ways
Who am I to question the great plan?

TWAT: We are just a bit courious cause we have not seen him yet as scheduled

me: This is why I call upon your grace in these difficult times
Well, like I said, they would not let the plane take flight until they fixed the mechanical error
That can be very dangerous
But it has been confirmed to me that he finally did get in the air

TWAT: ok
so, we shall come to the conference chat by 5pm today?

me: No
We will call you
That way you don't have to spend money for the cafe time
I will conference call all of you

TWAT: ok

me: On the phone
What has Godspower been doing?
I am in the dark here
Is he a nice man?
I would appreciate your judgement

TWAT: ok, that means, we shall be with him during the call
He is a nice man

me: Yes. I will get Reverend Ben on the line, and then I will call you and we will all be connected
I may even get Eric in the call
As he knows the area very well

TWAT: ok

me: Is Godspower's driver there?

TWAT: No
Its a tight situation you know

me: Who does he pay his debts to then?

TWAT: Our Community leader whom loan the money out

me: Community leader in Chad?

TWAT: yes

me: Or elsewhere?
Do you owe the community leader anything?

TWAT: Nigerian community leader in Chad

me: Ah
Did everything go smoothly with receiving Mr. Godspower?

TWAT: You need not told that managing finance is not an easy one especially when one is outside his base
Yes, we did our best and left the rest to God

me: I've done a bit of traveling myself. I know how it can get
Ah, then you did well. There is nothing more I could ask of a Reverend of mine
Are you keeping your position firm as a leader with the other men?
This is important

TWAT: pending when Rev Ben comes to settle the bills

me: Well, that is right on the horizon
So you all should take what money you have and go get a nice breakfast somewhere
This will be a good day for everyone
Charles?

TWAT: Yes, as soon as Rev arrives, no other problem

me: That is very good news
I am relieved to hear that

TWAT: His presence confirms, living reality

me: Well, you should always have faith in your church. Let it never waiver.
I figured that once you set eyes on Godspower, your faith would be restored
To see a fellow TWAT

TWAT: yes, but someone from you makes the movement easy

me: Yes. All of these problems were impossible to foresee
Otherwise we would have done things differently
Eric was supposed to meet you immediately
But then there was the car thing, and then the sick kid of Hamdan's
They have been having an awful time in Adre
It's very sad
The girl will probably die

TWAT: That is why I told you that seeing Rev Ben today confirms faith in reality

me: What do you mean by that?
Please explain
You have lost faith in Reality?
As I tell any member within the TWAT, you must not go in and out
You want to stay within the TWAT, and if anything, push deeper
And deeper

TWAT: It is very easy to tell someone to leave his country to a sourjoun in a land believing that he would see someone and a problem comes, he sees no one, another promised without fulfiling, then came this end will give us the faith in action
It is not very easy one

me: If it was easy, everyone would be within the TWAT
It takes a very distinct character to remain in the TWAT for a long period of time.
We believe you have what it takes to lead a large ministry

TWAT: Your lordship, Rev Williams, I know you understandn

me: We are not giving up on you, so please don't give up on the TWAT

TWAT: This is the confirmation of it all

me: Andrew and Godspower need you to be strong during these challenging times
They will need their leader to show no fear in the face of God's plan

TWAT: Myself and Mr Andrew is laughing because we have now know the reason for all that

me: I don't understand

TWAT: I believe that this clarity will strenghted the movement more

me: What suddenly became clear to you, just now?
You are becoming wiser

TWAT: Yes, you told us that if it is easy, every body will be a TWAT
Now

me: This is true
It takes a true man of the lord to show faith in both good times, and challenging times

TWAT: so we are happy to hear that

me: You are both very deserving members
Also, you should be receiving an e-mail today containing your certificate of authenticity

TWAT: thanks for this recorgnition

me: I will need you to print it and sign it
And then scan it back in to send to me for the clergy
This will open many doors for you

TWAT: ok
we appreciate that, as this make our work easier

me: Yes
IS it possible for you all to have a picture taken someplace for our church newsletter?
We have an intern here that writes them, and she wanted to do a story about you all
And share the hardships you have gone through with the worldwide TWAT community

TWAT: Yes it is possible but
the money is not here to do that now

me: They need to know what you have been through
And how you have taken that experience, and grew stronger

TWAT: yes, we shall do that later

me: That is inspirational to the other members
Okay.
Well, I will call you later
Why don't you all go get a nice breakfast?
Instead of spending money on cafe time right now
You could take Godspower out and show him the beautiful places in N'Djamena you have found
Is that a nice city?

TWAT: we are already doing that for him

me: What is your favorite place in the city so far?

TWAT: it is not a nice city at all

me: Really?
Do you have favorite places?

TWAT: our nice place is only this cyber cafe we are now

me: That is the nicest place in the city?

TWAT: Because, that is our center of information

me: Ah, yes
But please do find time to check out some beaches or parks there
I would like to know more about that area. I have neevr been there

TWAT: All other places looks like bush including there government house here

me: Wow. They need to do some renovation it seems

TWAT: political crises is here, so government does not care about the masses suferings
everything is expensive and they do not care about development
me: What a shame

TWAT: one hour credit at the cafe is 2000CFA

me: How many CFA = 1 USD?

TWAT: equivalent of US$5

me: Wow, that is expensive
Is there another cafe there, or just the one?
Maybe there is a cheaper one

TWAT: yes, but they open today, and rundown tomorrow because they cannot manage to run such expensive venture

me: Would you ever consider living in that city?
TWAT: because of government taxes and customers are not much petronising them due
to exhaubitancy

me: Right. That makes sense

TWAT: If provision is made, yes we can

me: I mean, would you like to?
Is it better than Bigeria or Benin?/
Nigeria

TWAT: especially, with our experiences as Nigerians, we sometime passed such political crises
and we know how to manage to resolve it

me: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, they say

TWAT: here is not any beter than Nigeria or Benin

me: Have the mosquitoes still been bothering you?

TWAT: Nigeria is the Bigest country in Africa so no country
here can be compared with Nigeria in Africa

me: That makes sense

TWAT: The mosquitoe will be less as soon as we have some money to take preventive measures or mooved to a secured apartment

me: Yes, they definitely will. Are they just bothering you at night?
Or the daytime too?

TWAT: At Night

me: I figured as much
Charles, have you ever been to the Congo?
We're considering setting up a ministry there when yours is established
I'm curious about the area

TWAT: No I have not been to Congo

me: Do you know anything about it?
Brazzville specifically
Brazzaville

TWAT: There is no area in Africa we cannot enter or get established
me: Well, we would like you to choose where you would like to be
Rather than us decide

TWAT: so long as we have the funds to make the move

me: I was just curious if you felt like that might be a good area for us to focus once your church is set up

TWAT: We shall set up in Lagos Nigeria

me: I had figured as much

TWAT: Lagos is the bigest city in Africa, so should be our center focus

me: Good thinking. I was told that Brazzaville might be a good church to set up, but have another minister run it

TWAT: From Lagos, we can then make headway to any other branch in Africa

me: Yes

TWAT: Brazzavile is ok but we have to start somewhere

me: The way it seems, is that you will be playing more of a leadership role throughout the TWAT than simply presiding over one church
You will start your ministry in Lagos
And then, once it's established, you will choose a minister for that church
After that is done, you will have a much larger role to play

TWAT: With due respect, we appreciate that and promised that you or the TWAT will never be disappointed

me: I feel that is the truth

TWAT: yes your lordship

me: I have to get some sleep now, so I'm awake and clear when Ben calls
Tell all of the TWATs there I said hello,

TWAT: Ok

me: And tell Godspower we will all talk in a bit

TWAT: Thanks your lordship

me: I'm glad you are taking care of each other
Like true brothers in the same TWAT

TWAT: We are happy chating with you

me: Yes, it was a very nice chat for me as well

TWAT: We wait till 5,30 to 6pm
to hear from you as promised

me: Yes, but leave your phone on
Just in case it is a bit earlier or later

TWAT: and confirmation of Rev Benjamin safe arrival

me: I was told 5:30 by Sister Anita

TWAT: at NDjamena
ok

me: Yes. I will be very relieved when you are all together today

TWAT: Thanks and God be with you

me: Have a great morning, and we'll all speak soon
God be with you all

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:25 am

Quote:

It takes a very distinct character to remain in the TWAT for a long period of time.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 24 Jun 2006 Posts: 7

"You have lost faith in Reality?
As I tell any member within the TWAT, you must not go in and out
You want to stay within the TWAT, and if anything, push deeper
And deeper..."

This brings tears to my eyes.....

Adamu's soulmate Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 337

great chat..your Lordship Smile

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:06 pm

Your Lordship,

let me come forth with the following proposition

Since at the moment we cannot propagate the smell of the real Durian in Africa, let us use it in a symbolic way by creating the

Order of the Durian

Members of TWAT who qualify may be conferred titles like Knight Commander of the Order of the Durian and may append K.C.O.D. to their names. Imagine how this pushes reputation if printed on business cards, etc.

Of course, the minimal requirement for qualifyig for a title like this, should be, that an applicant has made it to Abéché.

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:20 pm

Roycropper wrote:

Lots of posts about people reading this thread from start to finish instead of doing whatever it is they are paid to.

Could the whole TWAT safari saga, being read worldwide, be responsible for the Global economic slowdown we hear so much about? Shocked

We should be told. If so, the TWATs should be billed for it...

Not only does it cause world economy to slow down, with all the taxi rides from Nigeria to Chad, the whole TWAT saga is also the reason of extreme oil prices. I say make the TWATs pay so I can get my car back on the roads Wink

Master Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 108

Ramm wrote:

"You have lost faith in Reality?
As I tell any member within the TWAT, you must not go in and out
You want to stay within the TWAT, and if anything, push deeper
And deeper..."

This brings tears to my eyes.....

Me too....Just finished reading this conversation over lunch........I keep giggling and spluttering over the gems like that. ( My colleagues are starting to think I'm on some kind of medication! Shocked

)

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:25 pm

Quote:

All other places looks like bush including there government house here

This cracked me up, given he's now a supreme TWAT.

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:28 pm

I still not believe it is happening RIGHT NOW.
Like, you know, I'm in my office, had my sandwich, drinking a capuccino right now.
It's a bit hot and cloudy outside, with humidity, but the aircon is ON...

And AT THE SAME TIME, those lads are there... Laughing

This chat was great, some masterpieces inside Wink

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:38 pm

Your lordship.......well done (and so you should be).

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:14 pm

Bengali in Platforms wrote:

Do you mean that if they were given that large pile of cash, they would go back to Benin and set up the church instead of stealing it for themselves?

I truly believe that they would set up the church. I have dealt with a LOT of lads. I am pretty good at spotting a TWAT. And I honestly think that these guys would do a fine job as TWAT ministers. I reallt think that they would be the real deal. I think that they would set up shop and actually run the church. I will not be so naive to think that money is not a part of it. But I truly believe these idiots think that this is their way out.

Quote:

it is not a nice city at all

What a fantastic quote. Great chat prof. I guess we'll be calling them later. I am sure that Ben will be his whiny self. There is no doubt in my mind that he will be complaining like a little baby. He definitely will be enraged at the lack of food. I mean, I (Ben) had to go without eating for 8 hours. I was so hungry. I only had cake and Coke to drink.

As YW said, this layover in Benin will just be a HUGE slap in the face. I mean, what would be more obnoxious than Ben landing in the city from where you left? Not much that I can think of. Well, maybe his whining is more obnoxious. And what is going to be even more annoying, is when the TWAT plane, or a UN plane, comes and picks up Ben in that city. How enraged would you be? The plane can make it all over for Ben, but not for The Miracle Network.

This is in to Phystme (before the chat):

Quote:

Dear Reverend Williams,

We are waiting to chat with you or call from your side. Meanwhile Mr Godspower is staying with us in thesame place and we have not been finding it very easy, so we really want to know about the position or Reverend Benjamin has arrived NDjamena Chad as schedule. Because we have not heard from him yet.

Andrew Ezekiel Omezi and Miracle Charles Ndubuisi.

I think we need to try to get inside this family and completely ruin them, like Adamu and friends.

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:15 pm

Great chat!

Would it boost Miracles convidence if he would start to receive more emails with official TWAT-info since he is a reverend now... ?

like the financial department who would send him guidelines and reports on the financial status of his new church... (showing a large sum of money from donations which he just can't get his hands on... Twisted Evil

)

Info on how to perform a mass (long prayers to practice)

Greetings and congratulations from other reverends in other countries...

Invitations for meetings, conventions and the like (pool-parties, bellyflop contest's)

I don't think you want to make his life more difficult at the moment with lots of forms and paperwork to fill in... ? (not yet...)

The more hooked he is the better, as he might have to keep the faith when Andrew and Gossie are getting fed up with their trip...

anyway, all I can say (again) Great Baiting! keep up the good work!

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