Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 01 Jun 2008 Posts: 29

YeaWhatever wrote:

While Dover is stuck in Benin, he will need a place to stay. And since Miracle is not home, maybe Dover can stay there? Of course, he will ask.

Jeez! You truly are an unimaginable bastard pig and I think I'm falling in love with you! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 5:22 pm

ok, lol i retract the fish idea in favor of durian. i wonder how hard it would be for them to get?
i was just thinking that TWATs smelling like rotten fish might be appropriate, and the loaf would be a selling point for the biblical reference. but this durian fruit, sounds wonderful!

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 5:29 pm

@Prof - once again, I am in awe of you bow_down

These taxi drivers are making a lot of money. I'm thinking I might be in the wrong career.

I'm looking forward to hearing the telephone conversation explaining how poor Dover has been forced to land in Benin. I can already hear him whining. But I am sure his twats will understand.

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 5:49 pm

He'll also want to know if he can borrow their pajamas to sleep in at their house.

Imagine that situation:

You're stuck with your friend over 1000 miles from home for over two weeks.

You borrowed money to take the trip, and incur HEAVY debt to finish it.

You now have some other guy from a different country staying with you that borrowed money to get there, and is threatening to encroach on your crumbled meat supply.

He's also in debt.

No one really speaks the language.

The driver has your passports.

THEN:

The guy you're trying to meet to solve all of your problems ends up in your hometown, and asks to stay at your house, making the entire trip you just took completely worthless.

And naturally, Dover will be the one complaining. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Problem here. In the African heat, I don't see any way that Dover can keep the cake from melting into a pile of sugary goo. That's too bad, as it sounds like that was some damn fine cake.

Perhaps if Dover complained loudly and often about losing the cake it might get a reaction from the lads.

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:18 pm

Since Dover will be without money (customs agents took it all) he has no money for food. Dover had to eat the cake.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^^^

Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! Very Happy

Adamu's soulmate Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 337

Durian may be the front runner for lad cargo but I dont see why they cant take everything on the list as a standard package

Congratulations in getting the lads all to meet up together - although I miss stinky and the leg I am growing equally fond of the latest bunch of twats

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Jayhawk wrote:

^^^^^

Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! Very Happy

Come on Jayhawk -- you know you can't eat your cake and take it into the middle of hash conditions too! Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Let them eat Bavarian Chocolate Cake!

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:55 pm

I came across this and thought it rather appropriate:

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:14 pm

I proposed several days ago that each Pilgrim should leave road signs, to mark the passage for future TWATS to follow....but the more I read of the majestic wonders of Durian, the more I realize that it should be the official fruit of the TWAT.

Is there any sort of Chinese ex-pat community in Lagos, who might be able to obtain Durian for the TWATS???

Does Battery ever log on any more? Maybe he could mail Durian to the lads?

Bruin

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:28 pm

Congrats on getting them all together! When you call them, you should make them pass the phone to each other or get them to all chant a slogan into the phone at the same time - an audio record of this important event Laughing

edit: Or make them do one of those really stupid team building activities that we have to do at work...like another survey:

I am good at:

I need to work on:
etc.

and then they have to share their answers and discuss! Man, I hate those!

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:31 pm

The eating and transportation of Durian is forbidden on the Singapore underground (along with smoking and spitting, signs everywhere) - the smell is that lingering and frankly unpleasant. I've eaten it once or twice, it's not unlike buttered avocado in texture, only fattier. Mrs mbl likened the mouthfeel to 'like chewing a big lump of lamb fat', which wasn't terribly complimentary of her. They're big, smelly, spiky, but alas if you're starving you can eat them which eliminates them from the list for me! They're also very very hard to get fresh anywhere but (well ventilated) street stalls in SE Asia.

If you ever get the chance, try some durian - you will remember the experience at least. You can sometimes get vacuum packed tubes of the stuff from Malaysian groceries shops in the West, but I doubt you'll even see that in Nigeria, let alone a lazy lad bothering to track it down :-$

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:35 pm

Ramm wrote:

From wikipedia, on durian:

"Its taste can only be described as...indescribable, something you will either love or despise. ...Your breath will smell as if you'd been French-kissing your dead grandmother."

"... its odor is best described as pig-shit, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock"

"Other comparisons have been made with the civet, sewage, stale vomit, skunk spray and used surgical swabs"

I think my favorite comparison was "like a corpse clutching a wheel of Roquefort cheese".
I think we'll have to add a new simile to the list, however: "like TWAT who's been steded in Chad for three months with no change of clothes". Laughing

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:47 pm

The downside to the meeting is that they now all may have the opportunity to bathe. I think getting them (on more borrowed money, of course) to Abeche to meet w/ Reaper's crew (TWAT or not) should take care of that detail. It would be a mugu convention!

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:51 pm

Abeche is out of the question at this point for the Miracle Network, but we are discussing some funny things for the Ghanian TWAT/Miracle Network relationship.

We are calling them tomorrow, and will be in a better position to assess the actual damage that has been done to the Ghana TWAT from the travel. It appears his driver is also waiting in Chad with him to collect his money.

Adamu's soulmate Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 337

^^^^5 of them all waiting patiently for Dovers arrival...too funny Laughing

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:55 pm

I just sent this off to the boys so they have something sitting in the e-mail when they wake up:

Quote:

Dear Reverend Miracle, Andrew, and Mr Godspower,

I am very proud of you all for finding the ways and means necessary to come together and meet in N'Djamena. I have been beyond impressed with the fortitude of Miracle and Andrew, but to see Godspower also reaching into the depths of his soul to find the strength and faith that has led him to Chad is another blessing altogether. Reverend Miracle, you have done an outstanding job leading your flock to this point. I fully expect to see great things from you, so please don't let me down. I have decided to grant you Reverend status as of today. You will no longer be considered a missionary in the eyes of the TWAT, and let no missionary make any mistake as to your status. We will be sending you your Cetificate of Authenticity very soon, just in case anyone should ever have a shred of doubt as to how big of a TWAT you are. That Certificate will undoubtedly set their mind at rest.

Now, on to other business. Have any of you received communication from Reverend Benjamin? He should be in your area very shortly. I will make sure I'm around to chat at around 10 AM Chadian time tomorrow. I am expecting a call from Ben at some point soon, but was thinking that he may have contacted you first. Tomorrow, we will be doing another conference call with all of you so we can finish this mission in short time, and continue along the path of spreading TWAT all over the world.

All the best to you boys and your respective drivers.

To God be the glory,

I'll tell you, it sure saves a lot of time getting to write to everyone at once. Smile

Elite Baiter Joined: 03 Jan 2006 Posts: 1455

How fantastic! TWAT is bringing people together!

It would be great fun to separate them again temporarily, with each half believing the other had the MG...

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:16 pm

leia wrote:

Congrats on getting them all together! When you call them, you should make them pass the phone to each other or get them to all chant a slogan into the phone at the same time - an audio record of this important event Laughing

Have them each give "testimony" as to what T.W.A.T has done for each of them in their personal life, and express their life long devotion.

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:22 pm

Anyone out there want to take up the task of creating a funny but realistic looking Certificate of Authenticity for Miracle's new Reverend position in the TWAT? Laughing

The humor should be subtle.

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:51 pm

Quote:

All the best to you boys and your respective drivers.

You guys are evil Laughing

Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:54 pm

For the sake of these poor stredded Lads, I sure hope nothing goes wrong with Dover's plane -- a catastrophic breakdown of the mini-bar, for instance, or a failure of the horn. Cool

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:48 am

Quote:

just in case anyone should ever have a shred of doubt as to how big of a TWAT you are.

Now that totally cracked me up! Laughing

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