Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

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Adamu's soulmate Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 337

Yastreb
I think they should carry a 6 foot x 4 foot solid wood cross - that wouldnt be too hard to make and transport would it?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Golf clubs. You guys never make them bring golf clubs. All work and no play, dontcha know.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 3:31 pm

a fish and a loaf of bread.
mmmm rotten fish. big predators.

Master Baiter Joined: 13 Mar 2008 Posts: 114

This just keeps getting better and better. I once had the idea of trying to get a lad to shave off his pubes before going on safari. Very Happy

It woud add greatly to their misery to be streded in killer heat with itchy nuts.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:21 pm

^^^

That's hilarious.

You know, I sit and think about these idiots a lot. Their complete and utter ignorance is absolutely hilarious. They must just sit around and talk to each other about what a complete dud Dover is. I mean, imagine a grown man- a priest- acting that way. How unprofessional is that? It's insane. They must just think American preachers are the worst lot in the world.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:22 pm

Dover is the biggest jerk ever. If I weren't enjoying this from an air-conditioned room with plenty of tasty soda and cigarettes, I'd probably want to kill him. Smile

As for the lads: they should shave or wax EVERYTHING from their necks down. Including the troll-like hair on their toes. Nothing says "Suckfest" like freshly-shaved bodies in hash conditions.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:29 pm

I need to make my D0ver character more of an ass. He comes across way too friendly, then again perhaps it's best in the early stage.

Miracle may have company soon, female company possibly.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:35 pm

Dover is not a baby in the beginning. Dover is overly kind and accomodating in the first few legs of the operation. However, it's about a week or so into the "we are stredded" stage that Dover's true colours come out. I recommend that you use the Dover character carefully, making sure that the lads put their full faith in him.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:36 pm

@ SSL OH? do tell!!!!!

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:41 pm

Quote:

Someone suggested a while back that the lads bring a banana. Why a banana? Well, after a few days it would become rotten and stinky. That would be absolutely hilarious.

Quote:

Condoms. Get 'em to do some good in their lives (for once).

...Or Condoms AND a Banana...demonstrate the proper use of the former just like in health class

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:51 pm

I have a St3lla who is eager to get her hands on the money, I may need Redshoes or Jojo to call her. I had her skip the monument because she's a bit skittish. Maybe it was her bank account going to Alan, thanks to another character of mine? Laughing

Then there's Harr1son, but I'm gonna torture him a little while longer since he's so much fun to play with and so accomodating.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:00 pm

Thanks to Jojo's interpretation of Dover, one my characters on an unrelated bait is based entirely on this great traveling preacher, & its going down a storm Laughing

I too imagine what the lads are thinking, it must be something on the lines of "WTF Confused

this will be the easiest scam ever & we're about to get rich" Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:00 pm

ooooh - this could be so much fun - St3lla with the bois Twisted Evil

/me gets her cup of coffee and sits back to relax and watch the new soap opera

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:26 pm

With all of the lads traveling to Chad recently (not just from our TWAT baits but also from everyone elses) it is inevitable that some will meet while in Chad. Imagine the utter confusion when that happens. Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:42 pm

^^^^ Like "Who's on first"?

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:53 pm

Okay, here is your first formal introduction to the latest TWAT, . He is on a bus right now to Maiduguri. He will arrive there at 9 AM Wed (Nigerian time). He left Sunday, I believe.

There are a couple of very interesting things about this guy.

1. He just had surgery on his eyes. This causes a problem because he cannot read email. His son () reads his email, calls him and tells him what it says, so then we either have to call or relay a message through his son.

2. He is a fireball. This guy is full of life! I think he'll provide a lot of laughs.

3. He is going to have to meet up with the other guys to get him in close communication with us.

Sorry, this phone call is short and boring. But, we are at the traveling stage right now. This is critcal that we massage him to make him feel good. You'll see, it dropped out at a VERY critical point in the conversation. We are doing our best to make sure our stories line up for when the TWATs meet.

http://members.419eater.com/~jojobean/Christ/CristNutMassage.mp3

Here is my follow up email to his son, after the brief phone call with his father.

Quote:

Famous-

I spoke with your father earlier, but we got cut off due to poor cell communication. I also got your message. It seems he will be in Maiduguri by 9 AM tomorrow. From there, he will immediately head to Ndjamena.

I need you to relay a couple of things to him.

1. I am leaving town tomorrow, to head over his way. I tried to convey this on the phone, but we got disconnected and I could not reach him again. He will be communicating with Rev William until Rev Dover gets to Africa. Rev William's email is [email protected].

2. Also, there are a couple of other church members that he will probably meet once he arrives in Ndjamena. They are very good men. They are fellow believers in the TWAT. They are Nigerian by birth, but they came from Benin. Their names are Miracle and Andrew.

3. William will be his contact until I arrive over there. It should be around the same time that he arrives. Both of you can use the same number, as I will be forwarding over all of my voicemail to his desk.

4. I have $400,000 cash with me. $200,000 is for your father and $200,000 is for the other church members.

I have copied Rev William on this email. I have also copied Hamdan who is our Chadian missionary. He is currently in Abeche, due to his sick daughter. He speaks very broken English, but he has a translator there named Eric.

What is your phone number? Should I continue emailing you at this address?

Ben

EDIT: Spelling of "Famous"

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:54 pm

Quote:

You know, I sit and think about these idiots a lot.

Jojo: Isn't that breaking one of the cardinal laws of baiting, "Never work harder than a lad"?

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:09 pm

Jojo, is he or ?

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:47 pm

From Miracle:

Quote:

Dear Reverend Benjamin,

Its ok we have received your email regards to the change of your flight schedule till tomorrow. We also missed a call today which we believed that you might be the one that called. Please call back.

Wishing you safe journey down here.

Sincerely yours,
Andrew Ezekiel Omezi and Miracle Charles Ndubuisi

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 8:48 pm

Dover is off to Chad soon! Here is his latest email to Miracle and Andrew.

Quote:

Miracle-

As I said, I will be coming to see you soon. I am set to depart tomorrow.

There is something I want to tell you, Charles. I need you to do a very big favour for me. We have another TWAT member meeting in Ndjamena. His name is Godspower Jessa. He is very nice. He is going to operate as a Ghana TWAT. I need you to do something for me Charles. As one of the most trusted members in Africa that we have, I believe that you will do a great job receiving him. I want you to receive this man into the TWAT. Make him feel at home. I trust you and your brother. Brother William agrees. We want you to represent the TWAT and make him feel at home. I want you all to talk TWAT doctrine too.

Is this something that you can do? I hope so. We really believe that you can do it. We look forward to hearing more from you. Where would be a good place for you two to meet? And what time? I'm sure you boys have full schedules during the day. I presume that you all will meet on Thursday. I should be coming right around the corner.

I cannot wait to leave! Rev William will be here tomorrow to chat with you. It should be set for 1:30PM Chad time.

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 8:50 pm

Quote:

I'm sure you boys have full schedules during the day.

God you're a bastard. Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 10:49 pm

Tell them this meeting is a momentus moment in TWAT history and you would love it if he could get some snapshots for the TWAT website....

Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:48 pm

How about getting them to carry a china vase, perhaps one with a picture of the Nativity scene on it -- something Christian, anyway. I'm sure they have these in Lagos.

Then the Lads will have to be extra careful getting on and off camels, riding in bumpy trucks and so on, getting extra worry about the health of this worthless object.... Razz

Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:00 am

Just because I'm an arsehole sometimes I suggest the lads have to bring painted eggs -

Eggs break easily, so we need painted ones so they take extra care.
Eggs are food, what could be better whilst stredded and starving than having food you can't eat?
If they do eat the eggs that they have to show Dover/whoever there's a massive risk of Salmonella after a while in the sun.
If eggs break, they make a yucky mess that's likely to stick then smell.

After reading those points, I defy you to argue with my first statement in this post - I really am.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 09 Jul 2008 Posts: 6

Count me in among one of those that signed up here for this safari. What a ride! Thanks for the laughs, thanks for the pizza but most especially, thanks for the cake! Wink

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