Best lad rant in a long time

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Moderator Joined: 10 Jan 2007 Posts: 14513

I normally post the replies to my insults in the mass insult bait thread. However, this is the best rant I have been sent in a long, long, time and it was too good not to share here. Caution, it is NSFW and very homophobic.

[email protected] opines

Quote:

TO THE YEAR'S BIGGEST FOOL,

BASTARD IDIOT, HOW U DEY BUT I GUESS IT'S NO NEED TO ASK YOU BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE PROBABLY ROTTING IN ONE ASSYLUM. I KNOW YOUR KIND,U BE ALL THOSE FOOLS WEY FROM VILLAGE COME OUT TOWN TO WORK AND U DON THROW WORK FOR LIKE 10 YRS NOW YOU NEVER EVEN GET AUTO RESPONSE AND YOU ARE NOW TAKING IT ON EVERY GUY MAN IN THE STREETS, SORRY NOTHING FIT SAVE YOU,YOU ARE A GONER IN THE GAME JUST PACK YOUR THINGS GO BACK VILLAGE GO DEY GRIND PEPPER OR CONTINUE TO DEY RAPE GOATS AND SHEEP LIKE YOU USED TO BEFORE.

I WAS JUST COMPELLED TO WRITE BACK BECAUSE YOU NEED TO KNOW A FEW THINGS

1: YOU ARE THE SON OF A THOUSAND FATHERS.
2: MY DOG'S FUCKED YOUR MOTHER SISTERS MORE THAN YOU KNOW.
3:YOU HAVE A BUTT BREATH.
4: YOU HAVE A RAT FACE
5:YOU ARE A SLEAZE BALL.
AND 6: YOU ARE A DIRT BAG.

YOU'VE GOT NO FAMILY IT'S JUST YOU FUCKER! IF I COULD GET MY HANDS ON YOU I COULD HAVE CUT OFF YOUR DICK AND MAIL IT TO YOUR BITCH OF A MOTHER WITH NO MAILING ADRESS DICK HEAD! I SWEAR TO YOU THAT THIS WORK THAT YOU ARE WORKING IF YOU GET ONE CLIENT THEN MAKE YOU KNOW SAY NO BE ME.YOUR FAMILY ARE OUTCASTS,GOD PUNISH YOU TEN THOUSAND TIMES,YOUR MAMA WAS RAPED BY A BABOON AND YOUR GRANDMA WAS RAPED BY A DEMON.YOU ARE A BASTARD,IMBECILE,NONETITY.

YOUR MAMA WAS RAPED BY A THIEF AND YOU ARE A THEIF,
YOUR SISTERS PUSSY DEY SMELL LIKE GORO PIT. FOOL LOOK AT THE TYPE OF WORK NAME YOU ARE USING(DR.BLESSING ADAM)...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BIG FOOL!!!,IF I KICK YOU I SWEAR YOU WILL EAT SHIT MIXED WITH SPERM BLOODY FOOL!

BASTARD I WILL GET YOU AND MAKE SURE I SEND YOU BACK TO THE GHETTO WHERE YOU BELONG,YOU ARE A RAMBANTIOUS,CANTERKOROUS OPRIBOUS, VIXEN FETID MENT...OTU GBAWAKWA NNEGI TEN THOUSAND TIMES,NNE GI SI GA OTU YA NA MPI EWU!!,OTELE!!

IF YOU WRITE BACK THEN I WILL CONFIRM THAT YOU ARE THOSE FOOLS WASTING CLIENTS FOR US,YOU CANT EVEN SPELL CORRECTLY GO BACK TO KINDERGATEN AND START WITH THE BASICS A,B,C,D.E AND SO ON

FUCK OFF!!!!!!! YOU SAWED PRICK!!...YOU ARE GOING TO DIE BEFORE THIS WEEK RUNS OUT AND YOUR CORPSE WILL BE DISPOSED LIKE A WASTE YOU ARE.

JUST LOOK AT UR EMAIL ADDRESS([email protected])...WHAT ARE YOU DIRECTING???..FOOL YOU ARE DIRECTING ALL THE WHOLE MAD MEN IN THE STREETS TO FUCK YOUR BASTARD MOTHER AND SISTERS AND YOUR GAY ASS FATHER..FUCKING FAGGOTS,YOU DON THROW WORK NOTHING HAPPEN NOW YOU NEW FORMAT IS DIRECTING MAD MEN TO FUCK YOUR MOTHER...AKPA TI GI THERE!!!

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:24 pm

Quote:

IF I COULD GET MY HANDS ON YOU I COULD HAVE CUT OFF YOUR DICK AND MAIL IT TO YOUR BITCH OF A MOTHER WITH NO MAILING ADRESS DICK HEAD!

Wouldn't that return to sender?

Great rant!

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:24 pm

Reading between the lines, I'd say he was a little bit upset about something... Rolling Eyes

Guest

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Quote:

YOU ARE A RAMBANTIOUS,CANTERKOROUS OPRIBOUS, VIXEN FETID MENT...

Some of that would be a nice custom tag. Laughing

Quote:

YOU CANT EVEN SPELL CORRECTLY GO BACK TO KINDERGATEN AND START WITH THE BASICS A,B,C,D.E AND SO ON

The best part of this line is that he spelled Kindergarten incorrectly. Laughing

The alphabet part is just plain funny.

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:35 pm

Gosh, is that what people mean by a "chip on the shoulder"? Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:44 pm

I get the feeling he is a little miffed.
this one line got the soda coming out of my nose.

Quote:

3:YOU HAVE A BUTT BREATH.

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:45 pm

Quote:

YOU HAVE A BUTT BREATH.

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 3:57 pm

Nice one Butt Breath!

Replies like that make it so hard to pick just one iddy bit for your sig line, so much abuse, so few characters... Smile

Quote:

THOSE FOOLS WASTING CLIENTS FOR US

Do you think that means us? Laughing

My church feels that Henry needs saving, and has invited him to join.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Quote:

YOU'VE GOT NO FAMILY IT'S JUST YOU FUCKER!

Yet he goes on and on about how you have a thousand fathers and then describes in some detail about the various rapes your female relatives have suffered through. I'm not impressed. Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

I've just read it again and it is all so funny.

Mods/Admins, you've got to pull something out of there for a custom tag. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 2922

You gotta ask him if that is the best he can do? Laughing

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:14 pm

Now if you can turn this into a romance bait you ARE the master and we are all just your padewons (or however you spell that).

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:19 pm

Absolute great, great lad rant.

Go schoolyard on him
Pull the "that's you but what I'm I" routine.
See if he'll produce some fresh treats.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 06 Feb 2008 Posts: 720

Quote:

MY DOG'S F+++EDYOUR MOTHER SISTERS MORE THAN YOU KNOW

Why didn’t He say your Aunts also its not something they are likely to tell you about

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:29 pm

After reading that again, I think that is the best lad rant ever. It is just hilarious. One thing after another. Pure greatness. Might I ask, what did you do?

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:30 pm

Better, just carry on like nothings happened.

Blissfully unaware. Laughing

Or tell him "What is this tiny email you sent with only half a word in it?"

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 3551

Dev, you have a great pen pal there. You'll stay in touch, I hope. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:58 pm

Sounds like this guy needs to go to an anger management class..... Laughing

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 5:20 pm

just say "sorry" and send him a fake mtcn Very Happy

utterly brilliant rant, what in hell did you do to him?

Also ... have I successfully viraled a Lad? one of my mass lotto insults referred to someone as having a thousand fathers. or is it just a common insult anywhere?

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 5:27 pm

Nail:

I think the 1000 fathers is reference to the number of men your mother (allegedly) slept with so she does not know who the father is.

In plain english he called your mother a whore.

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 5:51 pm

Awesome!

** Retired ** Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 750 Location: Air

Its probably too late now, but I would of replied :

Dear Sir

It appears that you have made a small error and accidentally sent me an email that was intended for your father. You silly boy (tut tut)

Anyway, where were we ?

Mr X

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 6:42 pm

Beautiful! Very Happy

Moderator Joined: 10 Jan 2007 Posts: 14513

This is what I sent him. Actually kind of nice compared to much of the abuse I hail on lads

Quote:

HOW U DEY? UR A WORTLESS TOUT N A U SMALL SMALL YAHOO BOY. U CANOT TEL DIFRENCE BETWEN UR 419 FANTISY N REALITY. I KNO U NO HAVE LEVEL. U JUS DEY AREA BASTERD IN STREET 4 FESTAC. ALL GUYS AT CAFE LAUGH AT U CUZ U NO GET 1NIARA 4 POCKET. DEY TAKE 48 HOURS TO REPLY ONE MAIL U NO GET 10O NAIRA TO BUY TIME FOR CAFÉ. ANY MAGA U GIV BILL NO EVER PAY U MONEY BCUS THEY KNO U JUST A TOUT.

NO VEX, I GIV U JOB --- A WASH WASH JOB. I KNO UR MOTHER DEY ASHAWO AT ABBA ROAD JUNCTION TIL 2001. U GO GET BLEECH N CLEAN OUT UR MOTHERS ROTTEN TOTO. HER TOTO DEY STINK LIKE ROTED EGG. NOW SHE GO DO ASHAWO WORK NOW TO FED UR STINKIN MUGU MOUTH.

I DON PITY U. JUST GO HANG URSELF U MUGU!

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

I have some much nastier stuff in store for this mugu. Twisted Evil

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