Zebras for sale! Get your Zebras!

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Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:49 pm

Time to dust off an old email just for kelly:

Quote:

I am very interested in buying a Rhino for the grounds of my castle.
It will be a tourist attraction, and at the same time act as a very
large guard dog, and keep the theiving Pikeys off my property!

I am willing to pay good money, with the purchase price and
shipping costs up front, if you can find me a suitable specimen, and
make arrangements for its despatch to England, via DHL.

What other animals have you? A tiger perchance? Anything large and exotic.

I have included my contact details. Unfortunately, an explosion aboard
HMS Eater, when I was captaining her during World War 2, has left me
quite deaf, and unable to use the telephone.
--

--

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:40 pm

Dude, I was a veteran from Gulf Storm, and an explosion damaged my hearing. I hope she doesn't get suspicious, with all these old war guys needing animals. Shocked

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:16 pm

War is a noisy thing, and there are no Health & Safety pests giving out ear defenders and putting up 'Danger! Contents may be loud' signs everywhere...

Not a problem as long as were not all deaf.

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:00 pm

It's funny, Kelly was popping on and off G-mailchat all over the place then yesterday and today not hide nor hair. I wonder, have we pushed her to a essential vacation after ripping her hair out? Or has someone got her busy making runs to pickup money?

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:10 pm

I've been keeping an eyelid peeled back looking for her, but haven't heard anything. She was in a bad mood the other day, especially after I casually mentioned that she wasn't very bright.

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:01 pm

Kelly seems to have handed me off to the person at the michael moore addy.It's thru g mail,so no IP,but it "feels" like a different lad.This one is also using Cameroon for the Moneygram info.So far one bad moneygram,one to blurry to read,and a few minutes ago one with a mis- spelled name.Hey Mike looks a lot like Mork without my glasses on!

Master Baiter Joined: 20 Mar 2008 Posts: 107

Does anyone here remember good ol' ? He started to ignore me after the money I sent never arrived. Then I died and now I am my wife and... long story short: He turned to romance scamming

.
Just in case anyone is interested... Wink

Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 11:21 am

Zebras schmembras! Lord N0rris is getting a Rhino AND a tiger! jump_4_joy

Quote:

kelly briete to me

show details 09:53 (2 hours ago)

thanks for the mail and coming back to me know i can see that you are very interested in having more than one of my animals. the rhino is well trained and home brought up. Shocked

now for you to have the rhino and am just from the shipping company and the said 2000$ will be ok for shipping the rhino to d and the selling price am asking from you is 5000$,so presently we are presently waiting on you so that we shall take the rhino to the shipping company for the next move to your location.so we are waiting on you to send to us you shipping information so that we take the rhino for registration
FULL NAMES......HOME ADDRESS.......NEAREST AIRPORT OR SHIPPING PORT.the DHL IS FAST BUT ITS EXPENSIVE AND IT SHALL COST YOU 4000$, SO MAKE YOUR CHOICE AND GET BACK TO US AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.so that we can proceed with the transactions.
Presently we got tiger ready for adoption for someone who can take good care of my tiger, so if interested you can come back and talk about the tiger.so for the tiger you shall pay only the shipping of the tiger.
thanks and waiting to read from you.

How exciting! I shall ask for the Rhino to be sent by DHL in a large padded jiffy bag, marked 'FRAGILE & DANGEROUS' jump_4_joy

Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:32 pm

^^^^ does the rhino know how to play fetch. We need to know these things.

Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:16 pm

k3lly contacted me today, i'm setting her up for a dolla chop. let's see her reaction

what do you mean you haven't collected any money? you replied yesterday and stated the funds were collected and the animals would be shipped

lol, kelly is getting desperate and ignored my attempts

can you not use some of the $10,000 i sent you to pay these fees? didn't you collect the money?

Sir,
It's rather unfortunate that all the money i collected have already been exhausted.So you will have to make the payment which is refundable as soon as you have the animal

Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:15 pm

Quote:

Dear Kelly,

I am delighted! A Rhino and a Tiger!

For customs here I need details such as their colour and weight, and
photos so i can get my client to sign the cheques so I can withdraw
the money - he has power of attorney. Don't worry about the cost via
DHL, I am a very rich man.

I will look after them, don't worry, I attach a picture of my house
and front lawn, where they will live.

Will the tiger eat the rhino? I dont think so, but my wife is worried.

The nearest port is W3atherfield Docks, England. DHL will require
large security Jiffy bags, marked 'FRAGILE' and 'DANGEROUS'

Please get back to me as soon as possible,

Tallyho!
--
Lord N0rris of C0le

Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:15 pm

Well lets see,I thought I had been handed off to M1cheal M00re,and he isn't happy with me

Quote:

Hello John you gave me a wrong reference number and i could not get
the money please can you give me a number that i canb contac you
directly this whole thiing is peasing me off. Get back with the
correct reference number.

.
Then surprisingly,I got a mail from Kelly

Quote:

We have been asked to pay the Insurance of these animal before it can be shipped to you today.
Please do get back to the pet and livestock department as soon as possible so that these animal leaves at once.Below is their address
([email protected])
as soon as you get in touch with them,please do get back to me asap

Pet and Livestock department?Must be a larger operation than I thought

Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:05 pm

Man, this had to be the slowest-witted lad to ever be spawned in lad-hell. I can literally get him on Gtalk and insult him (as in "you're not very bright", "try being smart for once" and "go clean up the goats please") and he will not flinch at all.

I'm seriously considering linking her to some ridiculously large file to download.

Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:06 pm

Update on my unicorn! This one's good.

Master Baiter Joined: 08 Mar 2008 Posts: 103

I'm joining the madness..

Quote:

Dear Kelly,

I am contacting you on behalf of the Bateman & Rotch Art Gallery ( wesite URL here ) and I was wondering if you could help us out with a bit of a problem we're having.

We have a client that is insistent to have a portrait painted of himself holding a blue-balled shagpile. Now, we have a blue-balled shagpile already. The problem is that they only show their colors when they are sexually aroused. We have tried everything! (no, really.. EVERYTHING) and in the end we ended up buying a female shagpile to keep him company. But he is not showing his colors, nor is he showing any interest in the female.

I think we got a gay blue-balled shagpile.

So that is the problem, really. We need a homosexual blue-balled shagpile To arouse the male we already have so we can finally paint the portrait.

I know they are hard to find (we've been looking ourselves for ages!), but this is really important to us. Money is no object, name your price if you have a queer blue-balled shagpile and I gladly pay it.

Sincerely,

Michael Rotch
Managing director
Bateman & Rotch Art Gallery

Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 12:37 am

Yup! Kelly's back! She apologized for her delay and now informs me my cephies have been at the airport this whole time! They needed to be recrated due to climate changes. Confused

Global warming??? Yeah... no fee stated... yet.

But I told her I must insist on some new cephies as by now they cannot be healthy! Let's see where this one goes. She seems oddly polite after her hiatus. Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 12:40 am

Love the unicorn, I'm jealous. That is a very rare trophy. Smile

I can have a Rhino and TWO tigers now, but no photos or info about what colour they are.

Quote:

Hello lord and thanks for the informations,
This alone makes me know you are really indeed interested.So it's
now left for you to make the payment so that i can proceed with the
shipping of Rhino.So you will have to make the payment Western Union
to the below address
WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER
RECEIVER'S/BENEFICIARY............................. NKWENTI MIKE (MY HUSBAND)
COUNTRY.........................................................CAMEROON
ZIP CODE.........................................................00237
AMOUNT...........................................................$4000
STATE..............................................................LITTORAL
CITY..................................................................DOUALA
TEST QUESTION...............................................FROM WHO?
TEST ANSWER.................................................N0RRIS
After you must have made the payment,you will have to get back
with the sender's full names and Money transfer Control Number known
as the (MTCN) so as to enable me pick the money and pay for the DHL
asap.
Thanks and waiting to read from you
==============================

I will also like to let you know that i have two tigers which are well
tamed both male and female (Hey! I can breed them and have loads of free cute little Tiger kittens!)
All you will have to pay for them is $10.000 including shipping
Thanks and waiting to read from you

Inspired by the Unicorn, I've offered her £4,500 for a Hippogriff.

EDIT: Got 2 of them. Can they go in a padded envelope with the tigers?

Quote:

Yes i can for i have two left which you will have to pay £4,500 for
one so that i can transport the two and upon arrival you complete the
rest.Is that OK by you?
Get back for clarification of your doubts.How soon do you want
the Hippogriff? Also how will you want it to be delivered to you?

As soon as you can send me photos of them kelly. Smile

Master Baiter Joined: 08 Mar 2008 Posts: 103

Quote:

Sir,
I will like to let you know that i do have these queer blue-balled
shagpile and if you are willing to take it,you must promise me you
will be taking good care of it for me OK?

Master Baiter Joined: 08 Mar 2008 Posts: 103

Quote:

hello
thanks for mail she is going to be available, many terrorists have come up to me wanting that particular one but i did not wanted to go her out because... gimme money gimme money etc., etc..

dubya tee effe? Laughing

Adamu's soulmate Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 337

I am disgusted - I have been away for 3 weeks and I expected to return home to my catkins waitng for me but nothing!! not even an email and I was promised they would be sent 8 June.

Kelly is gonna get a hard time from me for causing such disappointment Smile

Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 3:06 pm

The shipping department has been heard from-at least I get $2000 of it back

Quote:

SIR,
YOU ARE TO PAY $2500.00 WHICH IS FOR THE TRAVELING CRATE,INSURANCE AND VACCINATION.YOU WILL HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT $2000 WILL BE FULLY REFUNDED TO YOU UPON ARRIVAL OF THESE PYTHONS TODAY.
SO YOU WILL HAVE TO USE THE BELOW ADDRESS TO MAKE THE PAYMENT

(same info as posted above)
AFTER YOU MUST HAVE MADE THE PAYMENT,I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU FOR I HAVE ALREADY PAID THE OTHER DEPARTMENTS AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PAY THEM ANYMORE.
THANKS AND WAITING TO READ FROM YOU

Master Baiter Joined: 08 Mar 2008 Posts: 103

Anyone going to order some spread eagles? Be sure to request photos.. Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 Jun 2008 Posts: 35

Ya'll are getting much better deals than I am Smile

Any bets that she just might have my 3 toed billybumblers?
__________________________________________________________

Roland: I have not heard from you. Please let me know of your stock and price of Billybumblers?

Kelly: Hello,
thanks for the mail,We till have them available we are selling them for $6000 so if that is ok by you get back for more information.
thanks

Roland: Oh excellent, Do you have the white ones with red stripes? I would like a male and female. Is there a deal for getting two?

Kelly: Dear Mr Roland.
Nice reading from you,Yes i do have the white ones with red stripes and i will rather be shipping you both the Male & the Female so means all you will spend to have these stripes will be just 12000 okay?
waiting to hear from you.

Roland:Excellent, excellent.

I will pay an extra $1000 each if you can find them in the three toed variety. I will understand if you cannot as these are the rarest of the billy bumblers.

Look forward to hearing from you.
__________________________________________________________

Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:45 am

She still loves me! I just got this from her

Quote:

I am still waiting for your commands OK
your crocodiles can be shipped today

What??? I asked for Zebras and camels.

Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 5:20 pm

She awaits your 'commands'. Laughing

Who's the master??? That's right! Not Kelly!

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