I don't have a pink pony so I've asked a lad for one

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Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 5:09 pm

Sent in response to a loan lad's mass mail

Quote:

Hello
I am and I am ten years old.

I would like to borrow some money so I can buy a pony. I want a white one, and I will need food for the pony and a stable. Can I borrow 3000 pounds?

Lad duly responds...

Quote:

Hello Dear,
We will release the opportunity of doing business with you and also help to put your financial problems behind you by offering you the loan as you have ask for.

Before we commence on the loan repayment terms and condition(Transfer), we will need you to fill and submit back to us the below form which will qualify you for this loan you are requesting from us.

This could get very silly Smile

Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 5:25 pm

Ahhh, I love a good pony story, please keep us informed.

Maybe he could loan you enough to get the white horse artificially inseminated with a "pink pony dye" suppository.

Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:13 pm

I don't believe you because a proper bank wouldn't extend credit to anyone under eighteen.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 6:11 am

^^^^ guess they are not a proper bank because they approved little Ethel's loan...

Quote:

Hello
I got your mail. The details for the loan application is in good shape and i
have the loan terms and conditions in this mail which i require you take note in considering before you respond.

Below are the loan terms and repayment plan for the loan amount of £3,000.00 which you are to let us know of your best option for the loan before we can proceed to the transfering step of the loan.

And then attaches a loan repayment schedule based on a straight 3% over 3 years... bargain! However the payment is a bit high for a 10 year old who only gets a tenner a week spending money so Ethel, being a bright kid, comes up with a plan to make the payments...

Quote:

Dear Mr Hawk

Thank you for your email. The repayments are more that I can pay from my pocket money so I got on facebook and chatted to my friends Shazney and Chaveera and we are going to get the pony between us to share and we can get that money if we do that especially as Shazney sez she can always lift a tenner from her mums purse if we get short. Is that OK?

So yes, we want to borrow the money for the pony.

We had a look on horsemart and there is a cute one for sale so please send the money soon.

Ethel

I can see a trip to the WU coming soon where Mr Honk will find out they don't serve 10 year old kids.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 6:30 am

LOL, Please keep us posted. this could be a real funny bait.

Tell the mugu that your school friends also want to borrow money to buy
different things.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:27 am

If anyone would like to be Ethel's schoolmates feel free to ask for a loan for a new Wii-Box-360 or even a pony of your own...

Quote:

Return-Path: <[email protected]>
Received: from ik-out-1112.google.com (ik-out-1112.google.com [66.249.90.182])
by mx.google.com with ESMTP id r38si575147ugc.67.2008.06.13.12.46.53;
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 12:46:54 -0700 (PDT)
Received-SPF: pass (google.com: domain of [email protected] designates 66.249.90.182 as permitted sender) client-ip=66.249.90.182;
Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=pass (google.com: domain of [email protected] designates 66.249.90.182 as permitted sender) [email protected]; dkim=pass (test mode) [email protected]
q11mr2947920ebd.61.1213386413263;
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 12:46:53 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by 10.210.113.2 with HTTP; Fri, 13 Jun 2008 12:46:53 -0700 (PDT)
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Date: Fri, 13 Jun 2008 12:46:53 -0700
From: "Dr Deco Hark" <[email protected]>
Subject: LOAN REPAYMENT SCHEDULE
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/alternative;

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 9:46 am

I think I feel a trip to my youth coming on... and for that I need a new motorised scooter. Let's see if my dream comes true.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 5:08 pm

^^^^ I think it might

Quote:

i just read a mail from your friend who said he his looking for a bit loan. I willl be willing to give to him the loan if he is ready to agree to my company loan terms which is the monthly repayment schedule for the loan. I just have to send to him the loan application form which he will be needed to fill and send back to me soon to start with the process of the loan.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 6:10 pm

I have asked for money to buy a pet bull.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:36 pm

I asked for $55 million to buy a large raisin cake.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:39 pm

Maybe I can get a loan for the Zebras I'm trying to buy....

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 8:50 pm

@Sunshine - after you get the loan to buy the pink pony, ask for another loan to feed it. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 9:39 pm

Can the mods sticky this, for the lad-huggers to see? The lads will stop at nothing... even scamming children.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 9:42 pm

Sorry bearkat - doesn't warrant being stickied, but a link can be sent to any lad hugger you desire. Smile

Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 7:20 am

Scammer Says...

Quote:

I got your mail. Since it nyour first time attendance to this transferring method, i will advice you of a very popular question that will definately come from the bank manager or the bank officials. This question will all have to go this way " Whom are you sending this money to" ask by the bank manager or the bank staff. As an expo to you, i will like you to tell then at the bank were you will be transfering the
£109 that you are sending the fund to your family friend or your cousin who travelled to Nigeria for visit. With this answer, you will be able to make the transfer and also receive this loan from me and when receiving the loan, you will as well tell then at the bank that your family friend or your cousin whom you first send mony to have send you some money which you will like to confirmed from then at the bank and then you can handover the details which you will be receiving from my transferring bank to then to help you pick up the loan.

Plus a load more stuff. Nice how they are telling little girls how to lie.

However little (10) simply replies...

Quote:

That was all very interesting but I still do not know what a western onion is. I have never seen one. Is there one in Leeds? Can anyone use them or do you have to be a grown-up?

Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 2:45 pm

Kenny wants a manbearpig. (South Park fans will recognize this)
It will give Al Gore something to be serial about, after it kills Kenny.

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:57 am

Just an idea. If Ethel gets sick of her new pet mugu, a concerned parent could suddenly intercept the emails accusing the lad of being a pedophile.

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:42 am

Sounds like a great bait you have going there, perhaps I may need a loan myself, keeping on the theme of how low they will go, I think my small child needs a life saving operation, fundraising has gotten me to within $5,000 of the $50,000 I need.

May I suggest in the interest of everybodies bait of this lad that all baits are independant of the others, if everybody is the friend of another school girl, as soon he twigs on one of the baits, all baits may be ruined, it is a risk that doesn't need to be taken.

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:12 am

@sunshine - is the pony going to enter the bait at any stage? Would your lad believe in your talking horse character?

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 7:31 am

@Orphelia - he's already rung Ethel's mobile but her "dad" (me) answered it. Fortunately for Ethel he had such an inpenetrable accent we never got beyond yelling "Hello!" at each other for 5 minutes (I love wasting their phone credits like that).

@Thomas - I don't think that Ushas is right for this bait, anyway he's far too busy trying to buy one of Kelly's zebra right now - he would appreciate the company Shocked

Anyway after getting three very detailed explanations on how Western Union works Ethel sent this to him...

Quote:

Hello Mr Deko

We dont have a western onion but I found out you can send moneygram from the postie. Will that be OK.

Me and Chav and Shaz managed to get the 109 pounds but we are going to have to put it back before Shazs uncle sees that its gone so do get back to me soon on the moneygram thing

Eth

Moneygram won't serve 10 year olds but Shazney has a bank account so if he can provide details of his...

** Retired ** Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 750 Location: Air

^^^ excellent !

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 1:58 pm

This thread should come with a warning!
I nearly wet my pants laughing... Comedy material!!

Keep up the good work!

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:04 pm

He rang up again and we went through three or four minutes of "What"... "Who are you?", "HELLO!!!" again.... mind you maybe if I hadn't been rustling a crisp packet by the mouthpiece of the phone at the time I could have heard him better Wink

I used the fact he spoke to a fourty-odd year old bloke rather that the 10 year old schoolgirl he was probably expecting in Ethel's next letter. I think Dad might end up chopping Mr Hawk's dolla...

Quote:

Hi

OMG I left my fone at home today and you got my dad when you rang up! He's going absolutely spare and wanting to know who you are and having a right leppy at me!! Dont ring again or he's going to go completely ballistic and find out about the pony and everything and that will be well dreary.

Anyway me and Shaz went to the postie and they said we were too young to use moneygram and you have to be 18 which is pants I reckon.

But Shaz says we can use her brother's bank account to send you the money cos her brother is well cool (and lush!) but we need to send it to a bank account in where you are.

Have you got a bank account number we can send the money to?

Eth

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:24 pm

I have been approved for my loan for the pet bull, complete with the terms of the loan. Unbelievable since I'm only 10 years old Shocked

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 9:42 pm

Can you believe this utter creep...

Quote:

Hello,

I got your mail. I will not ring you again so that your dad will not spare you. Since you are below the sending age, i will like you to use Shaz brother to send the fee through Money Gram Office.

You can not make the payment through bank to bank transfer due to some security reasons to know that my company account number is not disposed out to a third party. I want to believe the fact that Shaz's brother should be above 18yrs old and he can help you go to the bank to make this payment by telling him that you want to send the fee(£109) to your Friend in Nigeria. By so doing this fee can be send to us to enable the loan to get transferred to you in the next working day

Regards

Dr

So he now acknowledges that he is dealing with a kid and he still wants the money. What a barstool.

I will get a bank account out of him if it kills me.

Everyone else... make his life a living hell Twisted Evil

++ edit ++
Sent him this this morning (now I've sobered up from a night in the pub Embarassed

)

Quote:

Hello Mr Hurk

Yeah good idea not to call... my dad is well minging about the whole thing and thinks I have a pedofile stalker!

Well Shaz brother is being a right dork about it and sez that moneygram is for chavs and losers and he doesnt want to go down the postie as its full of grannies picking up their pensions and dolies getting handouts. Anyway he's only 16 but he has a bank account cos you can have bank accounts at any age in England and he has a job working bins for the council.

Dunno what to do now, any ideas? If you could change your mind just this once on the bank thing we could send you the money online today.

Eth

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