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lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

Quote:

Dear Financial Bank,

Here is my completed question air:

FROM THE DEPT/ OF FOREIGN REMITTANCE.C/O DIRECTOR OF FOREIGN REMITTANCE BANK OF
AFRICA (BOA) OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA- FASO.

OFFICE OF THE FOREIGN REMITTANCE / EXECUTIVE GOVERNOR,

BANK OF AFRICA (BOA) OUAGADOUGOU

BURKINA-FASO.

Date: 31/MAY/2008.

Our Ref: NPA/NNPC/CBN/IRD/CBX/031/05 /08 Your Ref:.................................

!!!!!!(OFFICIAL (BOA)QUESTIONNAIR)!!!!!!!!

LETTER FROM BANK OF AFRICA (BOA) BURKINA-FASO.

ATTENTION//:: MR GEORGE JIDGEY.

Sequel & with the reference to your application submitted to our bank, putting claim over the balance of our deceased customer (MR SHEU YUAN MUSA). You are to answer these 8 questions and send it to this bank under 72 hours,as to enable us to process the documents for your transfer.

You are advice to open your mail attachment and get the original copy of the questionnair and send the answers of the questionnair to this bank immediately as it was stated to you with you detais infomations .And you are advice print out the original copy of the questionnair and keep it for important reasons.

(1) What is the name of the deceased customer?

You already know his name. You wrorth it up above this question air. You must be GOAT!

(2) What is his nationality?

Burkina Faso

(3) What is your relationship with the deceased customer?

He is my uncle. I used to call him "Uncle Ernie"

(4) How old was he when he dead?

Uncle Ernie was 63 when he dead.

(5)How old was the deceased customer and led to his death?

He was 73 and he was led to his death by St. Michael.

(6)What was the deceased customers profession?

Uncle Ernie was a Swatsman.

(7) Did the deceased customer own a firm in this country?

The deceased customer was always firm.

( 8 ) If yes, what is the name of the firm and it's registration number?

I don't know.

You Are Advised To Get Back To This Office Immediately. Failure To Comply With Our Terms and Regulations, Your Inherited Fund Will Be Cancelled And Transfer Back Into Our Bank Treasury As Unclaimed Bill.

Your Urgent Reply Needed.
Thanks For The Management.
OFFICIALLY SIGNED.

ALHAJ1 1BRAH1M ADEL, DIRECTOR FOREIGN REMITTANCE .

BANK OF AFRICA
BURKINA FASO.

CC:GOVERNOR-(BOA).
CC:DIRECTOR OF FOREIGN REMITTANCE- (BOA).
CC:DIRECTORESS OF TRANSFER-(BOA).

Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 4:51 pm

Quote:

(7) Did the deceased customer own a firm in this country?
The deceased customer was always firm.

Good one. and I liked,

Quote:

(4) How old was he when he dead?
Uncle Ernie was 63 when he dead.
(5)How old was the deceased customer and led to his death?
He was 73 and he was led to his death by St. Michael.

** Retired ** Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 750 Location: Air

You must be GOAT Laughing

Let us know if you have 'passed' the question air ...

Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 6:44 pm

Quote:

Uncle Ernie was a Swatsman.

Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 6:52 pm

^^^ that line had me confused. whats a swatsman.. isnt that a batter in cricket?

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

^^^ Well, you have to know the background of that. I used to bait mostly under the name Ge0rge Herman Ruth. This is the real name of baseball great Babe Ruth, who was known as the "Sultan of Swat." Pretty soon I just got used to using "Swatsman" as a standard response to questions about occupation. It's never been questioned by a lad. Wink

Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 7:05 pm

ok I get it I didn't put the sultan of swat and swatsman together. stoopid me Embarassed

being a Red Sox fan BELEAVE ME I know who babe ruth is.

Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 9:44 pm

try working in pottery... if you don't get to be a fettler, you could end up a sponger. imagine being paid to sponge. Oh wait ..

Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 9:52 pm

Not knowing much about baseball, the swat bit went right over my head... Smile

I wonder if the Lad thinks you think Uncle Ernie was a cop with SWAT?

Other occupations... well, there's always the good old and honoured job of boxing up certain types of sweets - nothing wrong with being a fudge packer! Or there's the very responsible occupation of arranging life cattle exports; be the world's biggest bull shipper!

Adamu's soulmate Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 337

Absolutely brilliant - I love that its such crap
Since getting involved with baitting I wouldnt take seriously any letter that began "sequel" its a dead giveaway

Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:29 am

bunnyrabbit wrote:

(7) Did the deceased customer own a firm in this country?

The deceased customer was always firm.

Nice one.

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

Looks like I passed the Question Air test:

Quote:

THE MANAGEMENT HAVE RECEIVE THE ASNWERS TO OUR QUESTIONS DATED 1th JUNE 2008. THE BORAD OF DIRECTORS OF THIS HAVE MEET THIS MORNING CONCERNING YOUR INHERITTANCE CLAIM AS THE BENEFICIARY TO OUR DECEASED CUSTOMER, WE ARE HEREBY NOTIFYING YOU THAT BEFORE WE WILL GO AHEAD AND RELEASE YOUR INHERITTANCE, WE MUST RECIEVE YOUR PASSPORT OR YOUR DRIVING LINCENCE IDENTITY TO ENABLE US FACILITATE THE TRANSFER OF YOUR INHERITTANCE FUND.

BE INFORMED THAT WE ARE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU URGENTLY AND AS SOON AS WE HEAR FROM YOU WE SHALL PROCEED IMMEDAITELY WITH THE TRANSFER.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATIONS

M A N A G E M E N T S
BANK OF AFRICA (BOA).

Now to have some fun by sending him my famous "holographic" passprt scan. Remember: he must set his computer to "holographic mode" in order to open it! Laughing

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

The other part of this bait is a certain Sh1ka M0hamed, whom I call "Chicklets." He is the instigator of this transactions and he always wants me to forward him the bank's communications:

Quote:

Dear George ,

How are you and your family? I hope all is well with you over there.I know you have write the name fulling and send it to the bank as i told you.

please try to follow my instruction,so that there will be no mistake from your side and bear in mind that immediately you send the application form to the bank, the bank will been try to know if you are the real next of kin, for this any thing that you receive from the bank, try and send it to me for an advice so that there will be no mistake on this transaction. because i don't want us to loose this money, you know this is my last hope.
I wait to hear from you as soon as the bank answer you.

Thanks,
Regard,
Shika

The bank had gotten my name wrong (how's that for irony!) Wink

Quote:

Dear Chicklets,

The stupid Financial Bank finally got my name correct ok. They told me to send them a scan of my international passaport.

Warmly,

Ge0rge Herman Ruth

Quote:

Dear George,

i recieved your mail, you have to make sure that you put more effort because at this very stage this fund will soon enter into your account the i resign my position in the bank and come over to your country and share the money. i have expected that you are going to foward to me what you recieve from the bank so that i will direct and advise you on how to respond back to the bank to avoid you from making mistake which i will not like because the bank is making all effort to make sure that you recieve your fund,

The board of directors hold a meeting this morning concerning you, and the president of the bank has said that they are making every arrangement to ensure that you recieve your fund without any hold up, he said that their verificational process proved that you are the rightful cousin to the deceased customer and bonafide beneficiary to the funds, that is why i want to make it clear to you so that you will be aware and follow the bank proceedure.

concerning your passport photograph the bank ask you to provide, as a banker i believed that my bank want to follow their official proceedure and that is why they ask you to bring your passport, your passport and your informations will help them to open a file for the transferring of the fund, based on my experience, since they are asking you to provide your passport, that means that the transfer will start very soon.

my only advise to you is to make sure that you follow the bank proceedure so that they will not find any mistake from you and cancel your application. finally please make sure that you always inform me on whatever you recieve from bank so that i will advise and direct you to avoid you from making mistake, please because we are at the last stage of the transferring process, i shall write you by tomorrow and inform you on the ot come of the meeting.

Thanks,

Regard,

Sh1ka.

He's not happy with my behavior:

Quote:

Dear brother,

In fact i was annoyed with you because this morning i hard that the bank have approved you since yesterday but you don't want to let me know why, I mine not the one that contacted you for this transaction if you are not serious on the business you could have inform me in time to look for another person then to doing all these to me but now in since that you want to betray me.

Look if make me to loose this money i will not be happy with you because this is my only hope and it took me long time before arrive at this stage , even before i contacted you, If you make me loose this money i am going to died which Allah will not also happy with you.

I told you before that any thing the bank send to you should try and send it to me for an advice but you don't do as i instructed you, it means that you have another thing in mind that is why you did not want to let me know that the bank has approved you and the transferring of the fund will starts.

Just think of this and know if it is good or not, Again i don't know if you are man or woman because in your last mail to me you wrote the name Catherine Eddowes showing that you take this business as a jock matter also as some one who will cheat me if the money transfer into your account.

In fact i am happy that the bank have approved your letter of application but i 'm not happy for your behavior .
I wait to hear from you as soon as receive this mail.

Thanks,
Regard,
Shika

Quote:

Dear Chicklets,

You have to be careful how you talk to me. I am your only hope to get this moneys. If you make me angry you wil looose this moneys.

I do not need your advicement on every step of this transactions. This make me very suspicious of you. Maybe I just keep all the moneys for myself.

To get rid of suspicion I want you to call my telephone and leave a massage on my asking machine. I want yo uto say "Chicklets is nom nuts." If you do this I will trust you again. My telephone number is in the United State 1-309-424-XXXX.

Warmest Regards,

Ge0rge Herman Ruth

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

He think I am making this a "jocking Mather." Laughing

Quote:

Dear brother,

How are you and your family? I hope all is well.
Please be serious and sincerely over this Mather, don't take this as a jocking Mather.

Look i don't like doing some thing to a person who is not sincerely and truffle, In fact since we start this business you not sincerely to me why? You could have tell me early that you are not going to assist me, I would have look for another person then to do this to me now, that mines want me to loose this money that's my last hope and chance.

Please i want you to forward the approval that the bank send to you let me see what is written on it also i know if the bank have send any other thing to you.

Please try to co-operate with me so that we join hand together and aim this money without any problem or mistake from bolt side OK.
I wait to hear from you as soon as you receive this mail.
May Allah/ God be with you all over there.

Thanks,
Regard,
Shika.

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Sep 2004 Posts: 209

Re occupation, I like to claim I'm a 'saggar maker's bottom knocker'. For info, saggar maker's bottom knockerery involves a metal hoop, lots of clay and hitting stuff with a very big hammer.

It is (or at least it was ) a genuine occupation so even if they google it you're still ok.

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

George wrote back:

Quote:

Dear brother,

Look, I don't like the way you talk to me OK. I am very seriouse over the Mather. I am not a jocker. You are the one causing all these delays. Now no more delays and watch how you talk to me from now on. Do not ever be insultive to me again.

I am sending you all the documents the Financial Bank sent to me.

Warmly,

Ge0rge Herman Ruth

Sent him 3MB of junk.

Quote:

My dear brother,

You can not Belem me, because i am right for what i am said because if you have been co-operating with me by informing and sending all that the bank have been given to you, do you think that i will talk to you in that way.

Please think about this for e;g that you are the one contacting me and i am doing in this way would you like it? Tell me, i want to know if you will like it. and you know that this fund is coming into your bank account not mine, that's why i am afraid of what you are doing also you have to understand that if there's any mistake they may cancel the transaction. and you know that this is my chance and Last hope to establish every good business with you which will help us to build up our family. and that will make me to come to your country and see you with my family.

Well, may Allah/God help us to get this money out from the bank and to be transfer into your account immediately, so that i will come there as i have told here.
I wait to see all that the bank send to you please.

Thanks,
Regard,
Shika.

"You can not Belem me" ????? Shocked

Blame?

Quote:

Dear Chicklets,

You are stupid GOAT. I send you in last email all the Financial Banck has sent to me. Now try to do your job like an indelligent person. I think you are not seriouse and a jocker. I Belem you.

Warmest Regards,

Ge0rge Herman Ruth

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

Fron the Bank:

Quote:

ATTN.GE0RGE HERMAN RUTH.,

THE MANAGEMENTS OF THIS BANK HERE TO NOTIFY YOU TO COME DOWN AND PROVIDE THE TWO

CERTIFICATE OF CLAIM AND CERTIFICATE OF LEGALITY DOCUMENTS THAT THE BANK DEMEANED FOR TRANSFERRING OF YOUR FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

ALSO SINGING BEFORE THE TRANSFER WILL MADE OR YOU CONTACT AN ATTORNEY HERE WHO WILL HELP YOU BY REPRESENTING YOU TO FORWARD THE DOCUMENTS ALSO SINGING BEFORE THE TRANSFER WILL TAKE PLACE..

WE HAVE THEREFORE TO INFORM YOU THAT THE MANAGEMENTS HAVE GIVE YOU 24 HOURS TO REPORT BEFORE WE TAKE ACTION OVER THE FUND. WE AWAIT’S YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.

MANAGEMENTS

BANK OF AFRICA (BOA).

What song do you suppose I should sing? Laughing

Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 9:20 pm

Excellent use of imitative error reinforcement, I see what you did there. for the n00bs - repeat grammatical mistakes made by Villain Boy to make him think they are correct. If one is really brave one can try actually introducing errors into a lad's lingo, thus further forstratin any efforts he makes to reel in real marks.

Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 10:43 pm

Quote:

What song do you suppose I should sing?

How about "We're in the money"? Or maybe Pink Floyd's "Money", or the Money song from Monty Python?

In any event - ask if you can have full orchestral accompaniment.

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

This one's too wide open to resist. I'm going to risk educating him just a little about "singing." He's got plenty of other grammatical probelms, anyway. I think the frustration and humiliation value outweighs the slight education risk.

George made a few mistake in his grammar and spelling, didn't he? Wink

Quote:

Dear Financial Bank,

Your massage is very confusing to me. I cannot figure out what singing has to do with this transactions. Anyway, I did it like you saith. I put all the documents in front of me and I sang five songs. This is what I sang:

"Can't Buy Me Love"
"We're in The Moneys"
"Rich Bitch"
"Moneys" (this is the one by Pink Floyds)
"Baby You're a Rich Man" (this one is my favorite because it is by the Beathles).

What should I do with the documents now that I have singed them

Warmest Regards,

Ge0rge Herman Ruth

Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:36 pm

Bwa-ha-ha!

Could you easily record an audio file of yourself singing and send it to him? It's more effort on your part than his, but it might be funny enough to justify to effort. Every time he asks for a specific piece of information, send him a different song instead.

Maybe I'm just being silly...

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