People who can't read instructions...(rant)

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Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 1:47 am

So, for work, I needed about 100 people to send information to my email address. I set it up to have an automatic response that said something like:

"This is an automatic response to your email. If you receive this email, it means that the email you sent me is in my mailbox. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO RESEND your email. Please DO NOT send another email asking if I received your work."

And about 1 in every 7 people have been emailing me every 30 minutes - some asking if it was received. Others just resubmitting the work.

Each time - - they get the same automatic email. I wonder when they will "get it"?

Too bad letter grades are A, B, C, D, and F. I'd like to make a motion that we offer another grade "Dumbass"

Oh....and I think one of my students has either been to eater or is a baiter....because he sent me this in an email....(or maybe it's because I mentioned something about 419 scams in class one day - I don't know....) But I thought it was hilarious

Quote:

Btw while Im writing this email did I metion im your jewish cousin and I have 4 zillion dolaars in a bank account in Peurto Rico but I need 10,000$ to get it

Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 2:17 am

Prof, Did you get my information I sent by email?

Laughing

Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 2:54 am

There was this forgettable movie in 1980 called The Competition. The character played by Richard Dreyfus thinks about taking a friend's teaching job offer. He goes to see him and sees this classically trained, world class pianist teaching scales to beginners. Sucks doesn't it?

Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 2:56 am

Eliza, your plight brings to mind this anecdote (verbatim from my collection):

Quote:

I was a Customer Assistant at a university computer centre. We had three computers that were used for students to sign up for email accounts. Signs on all the walls, in and out of the computer lab reading "Email Account Setup This Way" pointed toward these three computers. Despite this, every day, some people would ask us where to sign up for an email account. Frustrated, I created a seven step sign in large letters with the exact procedure to follow to get to these computers:
How to Sign Up for an Email Account
Look at the other end of the room from where you are standing.
Notice the computers labeled "Email Account Setup."
Go to one of them.
Sit down at it.
Fill out the form you see in the Netscape browser with your relevant information.
Hit "Submit."
Remember your username and password.
The day after I put this sign up, an older man came in with his daughter. He walked up, started to speak, and then noticed the sign. He read it, looked over his shoulder, turned back, read some more, looked over his shoulder again, conversed quietly with his daughter, read a bit more, then walked up to the window and asked, "Where do we sign up for an email account?"

Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 3:33 pm

Try working in a library. The sign above my desk says "Genealogy". Patrons will look at the sign, step up to the desk and say "Is this the Genealogy Department?" Just once I would like to reply "No, it's the Geography Department." Laughing

Or, better yet. I am sitting behind a public service desk with a name tag on and patrons will ask "Do you work here?". My usual reply is "Sometimes, if they pay me." Laughing

Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 7:48 pm

@Eliza

Next time add something to your instructions:

Quote:

This is an automatic response to your email. If you receive this email, it means that the email you sent me is in my mailbox. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO RESEND your email. Please DO NOT send another email asking if I received your work. If you do, you will be giving me tacit permission to call you a complete idiot in front of the whole class, which I will.

So, when they reply, wait for the next class, do an oral role-call, and call everybody who replied to your email a complete idiot when calling out their name.

I guarantee you that about 5% of them will never make that mistake again.

Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 8:04 pm

Dearest....

The content of your post is well noted.
I am write to you again to say that scan of instruction is not clear. Please re-submit immeditly, you have wasted enough time on this study transaction already. Your student start to think you are not serious about these markings.

Remain bless.

Elite Baiter Joined: 17 Sep 2004 Posts: 1269

I work in customer service, and a few months ago, I was walking somebody through a form.

caller: your website wants me to type in my date of birth, what do I do?
me: enter in your date of birth.

Rolling Eyes

Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 11:22 pm

Being a self employed IT guy I have seen and heard much worse.

Some favorites:

Two email accounts with autorespond set up crashing a mail server.

New office, owner asks me how to get free WIFI from the business next door.

PORN, I'm your IT guy. Believe me I know more about your 'habits' then your priest. Stop lying to me and get back to work.

Does anyone remember the early Netscape feature? Contact information. If you filled out the fields with all of the requested information, name, Email, Phone, Etc. Your life as you knew it was over.

Getting to a hotel at 3am for a down server and seeing the night audit creature on a Page that said " Congratulations You Have Won!" in big blinking letters. She had downloaded and installed all of the software required to get her 'prize' on the workstation that was being used as a Credit Card Transaction server.

Yes it's true: When we put clients on Hold, it's really just the mute button.

Having to explain to clients that if it takes them twenty minutes to shut down all of the pop-ups on their teenage daughters computer they really should not use it to log into their bank account. even once.

And so on. . . Laughing

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 12:55 am

I use a SMS service to alert customers they have orders ready to pick up. at
ie

Quote:

Bob your Elvis CD is @ xxxxx. No need to respond I'm just a dumb computer Smile

They do

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 1:33 am

They may be an urban myth but having worked in technical support I can believe it.

Quote:

This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now we know why they record these conversations)!!

"Ridge Hall computer assistance, may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden all the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it is plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there is a power failure."

"A power...A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too ……. stupid to own a computer."

Roland M. Mansell P Eng.

Phone: (780) 488-xxxx

Fax: (780) 488-xxxx

Cell: (780) 916-xxxx

email: rmansell@xxxx

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 2:59 am

^^ I've always liked that story. When I worked in tech support for a major semiconductor manufacturer, we had some of the numptiest end users call for support. I was so glad when I got promoted and left that dept. Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 10:02 am

Gee, Eliza. Maybe you should change your message to:

"I have received your work, and after reading it, I find it very impressive!"

The ones that "get it" will laugh, and the ones that don't will think they got an A. Laughing

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 3:35 pm

^^^^ Mugatu

Laughing

My mom thinks I need to be admitted because I laughed like a right idiot after reading your post! Job well done!

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