Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

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Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 11:29 pm

Glowstick wrote:

I'm just wondering what your thinking is on the subject on how to address it, or if it's not something you'd worry about?

I'd be trying to convince 4damu to put a sandle between his brothers teeth and try some manipulation in the name of physiotherapy, followed by whatever sewing needles or pins they can find for the accupuncture.

Other than that, I wouldn't be worrying about it too much.

Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 11:38 pm

It's hard to say whether or not there is anything to the leg story, but we tend to believe there is. They haven't mentioned the leg to any of the church officials, for some reason, but I'm sure if he's begging ND and CZ (us) to borrow money to get them home to treat the leg there must be something to it. I'm sure people that loaned them money to get gimpy home wouldn't be too impressed if they were now personally in debt because Adamu lied about the leg. It's been interesting watching the differences between what they tell us as their friends, and what they tell us as the church officials.

And no, we don't worry about the leg. He said that it was either broken or dislocated while they were running from rebel gunfire, so it doesn't sound all that bad. It could be something as minor as a sprain. We're far more concerned with Dover's foot tragedy, and I'm going to reply soon as Phystme telling Adamu that Dover has had to seek medical attention for that horrific foot injury, but will be back on his feet in a day or two and ready to plow ahead to Al Fashir.

Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 11:52 pm

Nailgunner wrote:

Could we send in The Hand, to rub The Leg better?

I like the way you think.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 22 May 2008 Posts: 42

Thanks for those answers. Smile

I look forward to seeing how things develop, let's all pray that Dover's foot problem gets better though! We wouldn't want to see those lads out there for longer then is necessary! Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 12:22 am

Quote:

He said that it was either broken or dislocated while they were running from rebel gunfire

Has he told you exactly what happened? I'd like to know where 3meka aka "Driver Hand" was when all of that was going on? (probably running besides both of them ...I wouldn't be surprised if The Hand tripped the lad on purpose so that the fallen lad could create a diversion and 3meka could make a clean get away. Shocked

)

Elite Baiter Joined: 03 Jan 2006 Posts: 1455

Fantastic. There has never before been a mugu that has been brought round full circle; one that now has to bow and scrape to the maga no matter how ridiculous he gets!

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 1:04 am

^^ That was what was so amusing to me about his last reply to Dover. He actually wasted his minimal cafe time addressing Dover's concerns over the lack of Burger Kings, and used the Indiana Jones answer to nonchalantly inject the fact that they've been sleeping outside for 55 days.

I mean, can you even imagine going through all of these things and then having to reply to such childish complaints by Dover, meanwhile acting like you were genuinely empathetic? It must be so frustrating, but he seems to now understand that if he DOESN'T address Dover's hardships, Dover will just keep telling him about them and begging for sympathy instead of addressing anything that Adamu wants him to.

It's all very amusing.

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 1:30 am

I just sent this from Phystme, in order to let Stinky know what might be taking Dover so long:

Quote:

Brother Adamu,

We have received word from Reverend Dover that he has suffered a major injury to his foot. I have yet to see the images of his injury, but according to what he has told me, it sounds like it is quite painful. Apparently, on his first or second day in Sudan, he was doing a lot of walking and either a small stone, or large piece of sand lodged itself in the rear of his shoe. He wasn't aware it was there, and by the end of the day when he removed his shoe he noticed an area that was a bit red and also some of the skin had been worn away due to the abrasiveness of the object in question. This is very unfortunate, and he has had to seek medical attention for the infliction. Based on what I have been told by a third party, Reverend Dover will be spending the next day or two in a treatment facility, and taking great care to keep his foot elevated. This means that within the next two days, he should be fully recovered from this tragedy, and again making progress towards Al Fashir. I will send him an e-mail informing him that you would like to know more about when he will be arriving in Abeche, and I will instruct him to communicate with you about a possible timeline. All the best to you, brother. I hope you're having a great time in Abeche. Reverend Dover seems to have fallen in love with the Sudanese people, especially their friendliness and generosity.

Again, here is the pic Adamu received of Dover's foot injury:

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 3:07 am

^^^^ It also looks like the rev wasn't wearing any socks when he went out for a stroll. Laughing

@Professor So And So, YeaWhatever, jojobean you guys are in a class of your own. bow_down

The pain you inflicted on these scammers is appalling, Surprised

so much so that I'm right at the edge of my seat waiting in anticipation to see what your sinister minds will come up with next. jump_4_joy

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 3:46 am

Thanks, Prof, I needed that laugh tonight! Laughing

Poor Reverend Dover, that sure looks tragically painful. I'm sure he'll be laid up for a long time while that nasty injury heals.

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 3:51 am

I think you should be able to work some camel spiders in here somewhere.

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 3:59 am

Professor So And So wrote:

Again, here is the pic Adamu received of Dover's foot injury

Wow! That's seriously painfully um, impressively ah, life threatening er..... freakin' hillarious! Laughing

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 7:16 am

What about the ethics of posting these pictures of Dover's horrifying ghastly injuries? Laughing

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 8:14 am

After reading through some of the baits in the letters archive I stumbled onto this thread...
I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard!! Laughing

Keep up the brilliantly evil work!!

I look forward to the next installment of this epic tale Very Happy

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 10:07 am

Hey, Kelpex and welcome to Eater! It's been so nice for all of us to see so many first posts from people in this safari thread. We thought MAYBE we might be scaring off new members because of this bait (okay, I jest). Smile

Hope you stick around and join in the fun!

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 10:21 am

Oh God, this reply to the last Phystme e-mail that went out is just priceless. I think he's getting a bit annoyed:

Quote:

DEAR REV WILLIAM,
EVEN AT THIS TIME WE ARE EVEN SURPRISE THAT YOU ARE ASKING US OF HAVING A GREAT TIME. REV PLEASE THERE IS NO GREAT TIME FOR US AND THERE IS NO FUN FOR US HERE IN ABECHE WE HAVE BEEN SLEEPING OUTSIDE FOR CLOSE TO TWO MONTHS NOW IN ABECHE . WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS AND WE ARE NOT ANIMALS IMAGEN WHAT REV BEN, HAS WENT JUST FOR TWO DAYS THEN WE HAVE BEEN HERE FOR TWO MONTHS SLEEPING OUTSIDE NOT INSIDE A HOUSE. PLEASE REV WILLIAM,ALL WE ARE BEGGING YOU NOW IS FOR YOU TO HELP TO SEND US WESTERN UNION OF 1000USD PER DAY FOR THREE DAYS SO THAT WE CAN PAY OFF THE DRIVER AND BE FREE FROM HIM PLEASE. WE DONT KNOW WHEN REV BEN HEALTH WILL BE OKAY AND FOR HIM TO MEET US ALIVE HERE IN ABECHE BECAUSE MY BROTHER HAS BEEN SICK FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS NOW WITHOUT TREAMENT.
SO PLEASE REV PHYSTME, THIS IS AN APPEAL WE ARE APPEALING TO YOU AS THE PRESIDENT OF THE TWAT CHURCH.
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU.
BEST REGARDS,

Well, he has FINALLY given us a reason to start probing him about his brother's health, and maybe we can find out more about the leg now. I loved this reply. He's so annoyed with us right now. Oh well.

This one went to our fake CZ acct:

Quote:

DEAR CZ,
HOW ARE YOU TODAY I HOPE YOU ARE OKAY.
PLEASE CZ WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER THERE BECAUSE I AM VERY TIRED HERE.
I DONT WANT TO BRING ANY BAD NEWS HOME PLEASE .

Oh, GREAT!! We plan on home bringing bad news to you, so that works out for everyone. Smile

And a basically identical plea to our fake ND:

Quote:

DEAR ND,
HOW ARE YOU TODAY I HOPE YOU ARE OKAY.
PLEASE I AM VERY TIRED HERE AND I DONT WANT TO BRING ANY BAD NEWS HOME PLEASE.
I TOLD YOU THAT BROTHER LEG IS VERY BAD AND HE HAS NOT TAKING TREATMENTS FOR TWO WEEKS NOW.
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU

I don't know what is with all of the sudden frustration. He needs to harden up and take it like a man (you know, like Dover). Maybe we need to hit him with the fact that Jesus carried the cross too, and that must have sucked horribly. We all have our crosses to bear. How bad can it REALLY be there? People go camping all the time over here in the US. They love it.

Adamu's soulmate Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 337

Great reply - he might be appealing to you but hes not to me

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 10:48 am

Quote:

EVEN AT THIS TIME WE ARE EVEN SURPRISE THAT YOU ARE ASKING US OF HAVING A GREAT TIME. REV PLEASE THERE IS NO GREAT TIME FOR US AND THERE IS NO FUN FOR US HERE IN ABECHE

That bit has really made my day Laughing

Reckon the good Rev should chastise him for pouring on the self pity & being so ungrateful about being in such a lovely place with all those nice people around, surely they should be spreading TWAT in their spare time anyway?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 07 May 2008 Posts: 51

Once he discloses the nature of the injury, perhaps TWAT can provide them with a (rather ridiculous) spiritual healing modality. One that ALWAYS works, and if it doesn't, it means they did something wrong.

I think the first step involves him not bathing or eating for 5 days.

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 12:26 pm

Well Jeez, if Stinkboi can make it to the cafe on Hospital Road, why can't he get his brother hobble down the road to the Hospital? Then Stinkboi can convince the hospital to wait for payment like he asked The Hand for payment. I mean, how hard could it be? Rolling Eyes

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 2:23 pm

Rev. Phystme understands Adamu's frustrations with Dover and offers Adamu Dover's job.

Quote:

Hi Adamu,

Sorry Adamu. I did not realize that things were so rough over there. What exactly is wrong with your bother? I did not know that he was sick.

And as for Rev. Ben, just between you and me, he is a bit of a wuss. He complains about everything. I think that he has forgotten what hard work is all about. He has no idea what it is like to go hungry, or to sleep outside, or to be too hot, too cold, etc... I blame myself Adamu. I provided him with the life that he has and he has become too soft. That is why I sent him to you. I can see the kind of man you are. You are tough and worldly. That is the kind of ministers that I want for TWAT. Not the soft, fat, lazy kind like Rev. Ben. I have not told him this yet, but I am strongly thinking of giving you his job, bringing you here to the U.S., and leaving him there to start TWAT in Africa. Would that be something that you would be willing to do?

I spoke to the accounting department. They insist that they have attempted to make several Western Union and MoneyGram transfers over the last few weeks. None have been collected. Why not? I am told that both Western Union and MoneyGram do not know the answer to this either. Adamu, if the money is sitting there waiting for you, go and get it. Please let me know once you have picked it up.

Have a great day!

Rev. Will U. Phystme

Maybe this will be just the sort of a pick-me-up that poor, stupid Adamu needs.

CZ and ND will write back to him later. We can't exactly have all of the emails show up at the same time. He might start wondering how that could happen. Laughing

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 3:05 pm

Quote:

I am strongly thinking of giving you his job, bringing you here to the U.S., and leaving him there to start TWAT in Africa. Would that be something that you would be willing to do?

I'm sure he won't take such an important promotion lightly Shocked

Quote:

Have a great day!

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 3:19 pm

Yes, TWAT needs more good ministers Smile

If he nibbles on the chance to become a USA based minister, it is a good idea to tell him about all the benefits. Six figure salary. Health Insurance. Your own pastorage. Make it look like the chance of a lifetime to finally stop being a mugu.

This would require visa forms, more church forms and more modalities Smile

Of course, he'll do something wrong (again and again and again) and those things will be further away...just one more trip....)

Not quite a Newb Joined: 25 May 2008 Posts: 40

Kelpex wrote:

After reading through some of the baits in the letters archive I stumbled onto this thread...
I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard!! Laughing

Keep up the brilliantly evil work!!

I look forward to the next installment of this epic tale Very Happy

I agree, where is the camera crew when you need it. I burst out loud in my office when I saw the Rev "PHYSTME's" name!!!!!!

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 4:24 pm

Ok, YW, Prof, and Jojo - - you have made it to Memorial Day - the challenge, now, is to keep this bait going until Labor Day!

Bruin

(enjoying every minute of it!)

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