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Eliza_Doolittle
"Warned for lad hugging"
Joined: 16 Mar 2006
Posts: 1979
Location: Contemplating a plan to steal Shiver's cat
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Posted:
Sun May 25, 2008 1:47 am |
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So, for work, I needed about 100 people to send information to my email address. I set it up to have an automatic response that said something like:
"This is an automatic response to your email. If you receive this email, it means that the email you sent me is in my mailbox. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO RESEND your email. Please DO NOT send another email asking if I received your work."
And about 1 in every 7 people have been emailing me every 30 minutes - some asking if it was received. Others just resubmitting the work.
Each time - - they get the same automatic email. I wonder when they will "get it"?
Too bad letter grades are A, B, C, D, and F. I'd like to make a motion that we offer another grade "Dumbass"
Oh....and I think one of my students has either been to eater or is a baiter....because he sent me this in an email....(or maybe it's because I mentioned something about 419 scams in class one day - I don't know....) But I thought it was hilarious
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Btw while Im writing this email did I metion im your jewish cousin and I have 4 zillion dolaars in a bank account in Peurto Rico but I need 10,000$ to get it |
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_________________ Uch3nna - 222km Lagos, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin
M4rtins Uzo - Lagos to Abuja "l have spent money,time,took risk to travel all the way from lagos to abuja to meet you.(8 good hours on board)."
Ed - Port Harcourt to Kaduna
vLad's ebay auction states "Wonderful seller! Thinks "out of the box" to get item to you."
<br>
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/MrsRobinson419"> Click to see the videos Ed sent me.</a><br>
<A href="http://members.419eater.com/~eliza_doolittle/index.html"> Eliza's lad quotes, photos, and audio files</a>
x12
*this sig icon has been censored* <br><a href="http://members.419eater.com/~eliza_doolittle/809104_ML.pdf" > click here</a> for a Bank Account Transfer Form.
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ParaNoid
** REMEMBERED **
Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 5123
Location: Looking for Steward.
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Posted:
Sun May 25, 2008 2:17 am |
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Prof, Did you get my information I sent by email?
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_________________ Gold Coins here
x 4 <b>Looking for a Mentor? Click here</b>
"If I get mad at you, please just understand me. I am just being ParaNoid because I love you so much." - unknown
Visit www.scamwarners.com |
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Connie L. Gus
Moderator
Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 7243
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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Posted:
Sun May 25, 2008 2:54 am |
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There was this forgettable movie in 1980 called The Competition. The character played by Richard Dreyfus thinks about taking a friend's teaching job offer. He goes to see him and sees this classically trained, world class pianist teaching scales to beginners. Sucks doesn't it? |
_________________ x8
LISTEN TO ME WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR ONE OF THOSE CHEAP CROOK OR WHAT -tobi donito
-a few,
LISTEN I CAN NOT TAKE YOUR SHIT ANY LONGER WE HAVE WHROTE A PETITION AGAINST YOU TO THE FBI WITH ALL OUR EVIDENCE YOU ARE INTO PROSTITUTION,DRUG DEALING, FORGERY, CREDIT CARDS FORGRY WESTEN UNION FALSIFICATION,DRUGING MEN,COMMETING MURDER, STEALING, DRUNCARD, ALL THIS WE HAVE THE EVIDENCE TO PROOF OUR CASE AGAINST YOU.-Johnson Hill
I am not finding it any funny...Henry A., Lagos, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin, WIMPed
I am stranderd. Henry A. Lagos to Accra, WIMPed for 67 days.
* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Sun May 25, 2008 2:56 am |
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Eliza, your plight brings to mind this anecdote (verbatim from my collection):
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I was a Customer Assistant at a university computer centre. We had three computers that were used for students to sign up for email accounts. Signs on all the walls, in and out of the computer lab reading "Email Account Setup This Way" pointed toward these three computers. Despite this, every day, some people would ask us where to sign up for an email account. Frustrated, I created a seven step sign in large letters with the exact procedure to follow to get to these computers:
How to Sign Up for an Email Account
Look at the other end of the room from where you are standing.
Notice the computers labeled "Email Account Setup."
Go to one of them.
Sit down at it.
Fill out the form you see in the Netscape browser with your relevant information.
Hit "Submit."
Remember your username and password.
The day after I put this sign up, an older man came in with his daughter. He walked up, started to speak, and then noticed the sign. He read it, looked over his shoulder, turned back, read some more, looked over his shoulder again, conversed quietly with his daughter, read a bit more, then walked up to the window and asked, "Where do we sign up for an email account?" |
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_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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Chibuike
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 07 Mar 2006
Posts: 693
Location: My corner of the world...
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Posted:
Sun May 25, 2008 3:33 pm |
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Try working in a library. The sign above my desk says "Genealogy". Patrons will look at the sign, step up to the desk and say "Is this the Genealogy Department?" Just once I would like to reply "No, it's the Geography Department."
Or, better yet. I am sitting behind a public service desk with a name tag on and patrons will ask "Do you work here?". My usual reply is "Sometimes, if they pay me." |
_________________ "I didn't know Oscar was a pimp!" Chibuike
"simple....go fuck a tree trunk" Phillip Johnson
<--I got ponies! Wahhooo! |
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kleindoofy
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6248
Location: Europe
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Posted:
Sun May 25, 2008 7:48 pm |
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@Eliza
Next time add something to your instructions:
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This is an automatic response to your email. If you receive this email, it means that the email you sent me is in my mailbox. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO RESEND your email. Please DO NOT send another email asking if I received your work. If you do, you will be giving me tacit permission to call you a complete idiot in front of the whole class, which I will. |
So, when they reply, wait for the next class, do an oral role-call, and call everybody who replied to your email a complete idiot when calling out their name.
I guarantee you that about 5% of them will never make that mistake again. |
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Mugatu
** Retired **
Joined: 13 May 2007
Posts: 3773
Location: The star of India
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Posted:
Sun May 25, 2008 8:04 pm |
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Dearest....
The content of your post is well noted.
I am write to you again to say that scan of instruction is not clear. Please re-submit immeditly, you have wasted enough time on this study transaction already. Your student start to think you are not serious about these markings.
Remain bless. |
_________________ - because you deserve them! x19
Thinking of using phone modalities? Attend the 419eater university on audio baiting.
"They made me to understand you are a Fraud Star" - Ikenna.
"I like traveling very much, it is so exciting and interesting to see foreign countries. but I have never been to foreign countries." - Marina.
"I will have you now I am highly reputable businness magnet." - Pam Doh
"Sorry,i do not know you are all that: a destitute and nuts" - Ben Chris |
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Ari
Elite Baiter
Joined: 17 Sep 2004
Posts: 1269
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Posted:
Sun May 25, 2008 8:17 pm |
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I work in customer service, and a few months ago, I was walking somebody through a form.
caller: your website wants me to type in my date of birth, what do I do?
me: enter in your date of birth.
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Stoker Thompson
419Eater is my life
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 271
Location: Out There.
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Posted:
Sun May 25, 2008 11:22 pm |
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Being a self employed IT guy I have seen and heard much worse.
Some favorites:
Two email accounts with autorespond set up crashing a mail server.
New office, owner asks me how to get free WIFI from the business next door.
PORN, I'm your IT guy. Believe me I know more about your 'habits' then your priest. Stop lying to me and get back to work.
Does anyone remember the early Netscape feature? Contact information. If you filled out the fields with all of the requested information, name, Email, Phone, Etc. Your life as you knew it was over.
Getting to a hotel at 3am for a down server and seeing the night audit creature on a Page that said " Congratulations You Have Won!" in big blinking letters. She had downloaded and installed all of the software required to get her 'prize' on the workstation that was being used as a Credit Card Transaction server.
Yes it's true: When we put clients on Hold, it's really just the mute button.
Having to explain to clients that if it takes them twenty minutes to shut down all of the pop-ups on their teenage daughters computer they really should not use it to log into their bank account. even once.
And so on. . . |
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harrya
Elite Baiter
Joined: 23 Jul 2006
Posts: 1489
Location: Not Happy
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Posted:
Mon May 26, 2008 12:55 am |
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I use a SMS service to alert customers they have orders ready to pick up. at
ie
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Bob your Elvis CD is @ xxxxx. No need to respond I'm just a dumb computer |
They do |
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Gnasher
Baiting Guru
Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 2849
Location: Centre Stage in the Theatre of Cruelty
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Posted:
Mon May 26, 2008 1:33 am |
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They may be an urban myth but having worked in technical support I can believe it.
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This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now we know why they record these conversations)!!
"Ridge Hall computer assistance, may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden all the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it is plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there is a power failure."
"A power...A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too ……. stupid to own a computer."
Roland M. Mansell P Eng.
Phone: (780) 488-xxxx
Fax: (780) 488-xxxx
Cell: (780) 916-xxxx
email: rmansell@xxxx
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_________________ x21
"you have to pay because he need to submit this form to the Federal Ministry Of Fancies" Barrister John/Mike/Richard Okeke
"they are in deed the swinders rotating about in the net and searching for whom they will stylishly defraud your belongings" A. Moron
"Please pray harder for God to guide and protect us during our travelling because flight airplane i observe is a very big risky" Abdul Karibu
"WE DOESN'T LIKE HOW DISOBIDIENT YOU ARE!" Coco Law Chambers
"BE INFORMED THAT YOU WILL INCUR DUMMERAGE AFTER 9 DAYS FROM TODAY" Burkina Faso Air Secure Air Service.\ |
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sheboppe
The Sparkly Member
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 5002
Location: United States
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Posted:
Mon May 26, 2008 2:59 am |
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^^ I've always liked that story. When I worked in tech support for a major semiconductor manufacturer, we had some of the numptiest end users call for support. I was so glad when I got promoted and left that dept. |
_________________ | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=135992> Official Eater T-Shirts</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=81028> Premium Membership</a> | ScamWarners | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5413> Forum Rules</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=51> Baiting Tutorials</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=118738> Baiting Help</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=137846> FAQs</a> |
x22 |
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru
Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.
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Posted:
Mon May 26, 2008 10:02 am |
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Gee, Eliza. Maybe you should change your message to:
"I have received your work, and after reading it, I find it very impressive!"
The ones that "get it" will laugh, and the ones that don't will think they got an A. |
_________________ x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
x10 X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, D@rlington, Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
(19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Z@ke & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
x3 H3ctor & C@leb - Yankar1 & Parakou
x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
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MyMyselfAndI
Master Baiter
Joined: 09 Apr 2008
Posts: 165
Location: By the computer
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Posted:
Mon May 26, 2008 3:35 pm |
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^^^^ Mugatu
My mom thinks I need to be admitted because I laughed like a right idiot after reading your post! Job well done! |
_________________ "I 4LH4JI 4N4NE C0MP0A0REU THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF F1RST B4NK OF 4FRIKA B.O.A HAVE JUST FINISHED READING THIS YOUR SECOND MAIL AFTER YOU INSAULTED ME WITH YOUR FORMAL MESSAGE." - 4lh4ji C0mp0a0reu director B4nk of 4frica
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY 50 DOLLARS????ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING OR DO THINK THAT YOU ARE SELLING FOOD ITEMS IN THE MARKET OR DO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE DEALING WITH A PERSONAL BANK." - 4lh4ji C0mp0a0reu director B4nk of 4frica |
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