TWAT has it's first female member

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Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 3:56 pm

Thanks to Title IX, TWAT appears to now allow women to join. Miss Isabela was excited at the idea of helping spread TWAT among everyone.

Don't worry, she openly said she needs to still send me the family photo. I've sent her the next step in becoming a full member of the TWAT, let's hope she doesn't take too long to build her monument of faith. Haleluja!

Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 4:02 pm

Quote:

THERE IS NOT A NUMBER OF TWAT THAT CAN BE ENOUGH AS WE MUST KEEP SPREADING IT AS WIDE AS WE COULD IN THE WHOLE WORLD BECAUSE THAT IS GOD CRUSADE

This kills me. Nice catch OD!

Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 4:03 pm

Wow! Not much gets me wound up more than a woman spreading TWAT.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 2922

@bohigal-i was gonna quote that too. Very Happy

Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 4:08 pm

Is that what the stool is for??

Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 4:10 pm

Question: Can you get too much of the TWAT?

Quote:

As many as reach my hand if I am given the chance and opportunity

I think we have a winner!

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 2922

Is she going to have to go on safari to meet

Bien-which of course in French means good Very Happy

Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 4:31 pm

This is just too much. Laughing

Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 5:03 pm

She was very excited about filling in the forms at first, then went silent for almost a week before sending this in. I couldn't have scripted better answers than what she gave!

If she builds a nice enough monument I do hope to get her to travel. Maybe she could bring some sign of hope to Adamu. Very Happy

Edit: Looks like she won't meet up with Adamu, as her IP resolves to UAE. I had her confused with another who I am waiting to hand in their application.

** Retired ** Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 750 Location: Air

Outrageous forms, top work !

Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 10:07 pm

Whether big or small TWAT welcomes all comers.

Smile

Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 11:16 pm

Lou Smorals wanted to know if there were any female TWATs... Smile

Well, now we know there are.

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 12:50 pm

The TWAT should be very happy, as our female member is very excited to work with us. Let the male members see her enthusiasm as a standard for all to follow!

Quote:

Dear F4ther Cl1ffton,

Thanks to your mail while i am searching to get you our family picture as requested by you.
Please you should also try and understand my situation at this point because i am not all that free to move about and to collect all neccessary informations i may need to supply you urgently.

Meanwhile i am very much confused on the last forms you sent to me as i don`t know how to work it out cause i have tried severally to go across it and i cannot understand how to start with it besides i have not build a house before,though i can understand it`s all about faith building,but how will i do it please?

I urgently wait to hear from you.

Yours sister,
1sabela Tur3h,

Why let a photo stand in the way of professing your faith?

Quote:

Blessed mornings to you dearest 1sabela! The Lord has brought us another fine day. Please try your best for the family photo to have a complete application, but it is not as important as creating your monument of faith to our Lord. I would rather you put your effort into showing everyone how much faith is inside you.

The building of the monument is a true testament to your love of self, others, and of course Jesus. The monument is not very hard to accomplish. As in the instructions suggest you can use something as simple as sacks filled with dirt to construct it. If needed, you may use help as long as they are believers in Christ as well. Do not worry as to have to build it as a house to enter, it should be a solid structure of faith.

I look forward to seeing your monument of faith and showing how much TWAT is in you.

F4ther Cl1ffton

Time to start researching fun locations to send her off to from Dubai UAE.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 1:55 pm

OD- Congratulations on finding a female member! Very Happy

A nice safari location might be Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. It's the capital city!
There is lots of sand to build the monument. It's the second holiest pilgramage site. It's nearby, across one border. And I'm sure there would be lots and lots of people to convert there, especially by a woman.
Are you sure the IP is not from a satellite? Does she say she is in Dubai?

Good luck with the new member! Very Happy

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 3:46 pm

Congrats, OD! Nice work! THE JOKES COULD BE ENDLESS!

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 4:13 pm

Congratulations OD. Don't TWAT female members have to wear their hair is a certain way?

I hope she proves to be a true loyal member of TWAT.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 12 Nov 2007 Posts: 74

And of course Female Twat member must have their upper arms coverd at all times unless they have the sacred symbols tatooed on them which they can then show off proudly to all as a sign of their loyalty and devotion!

Tony

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 5:09 pm

I'm so glad there's some work going on for the first female TWATs! I have a ladette who appears to be excited about joining. It would be nice to know if there are any specific rituals to be followed for those of the female persuasion.

Quote:

My Dearest Rev. D0v3r,

I thank you very much for your mail,i want to let you know that iam ready to become a member of your church,and also ready to follow the steps of it if it is possible for me to do.Now i can see that you knows everything and i want to know weather if you are ready to help me transfer my money into your account.

I will like to hear from you fast,so that i will know what to do.
Thanks and God bless you.
Yours Sincerely.
R3B3ccA G4r4ng

She's still hanging onto her script a little, but hopefully I'll fix that soon Evil or Very Mad

. She has the membership application forms now.

Master Baiter Joined: 01 Oct 2006 Posts: 237

OxygenDeprived wrote:

Time to start researching fun locations to send her off to from Dubai UAE.

PM coming in a few minutes Laughing

Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 7:02 pm

Hallelujah, she has come through with her family picture. Too bad she doesn't appear to be the same from the other photos, but we'll take it!

This is an excerpt from her email:

Quote:

I am trying all the best i could to put up the faith monument though it might take me some time as i am still studying it.

Sounds like (s)he's interested in giving it a shot and not against it. To be sure where she is, I should ask for a mailing address for when we mail our Christmas cards to all members so I know where to try to get her to safari to. Very Happy

I've got another lad who passed in a much worse application who claims to be building his show of faith... let's see who gets it done first!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

Congratulations

Did she have to pluck her pubic hai in compliance with the rules.
If not it might be worth mentioning it Twisted Evil

Ask for documented evidence of THAT

Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 7:40 am

You know, in Babylon 5 the Centauri women had to shave their heads.</random fact>

Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 3:52 pm

I think she needs to have her tattoo on her left breast. its the one closest to her heart where god lives and because of the mothers milk of rightousness and purity to nourish the world and sustane life as gods love and word does. Laughing

Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 5:05 pm

Quote:

You know, in Babylon 5 the Centauri women had to shave their heads.</random fact>

Actually they were allowed a ponytail coming out of the top I seem to remember.

I was thinking. Shaved bits is all very well, but it doesn't take much effort. Maybe we should suggest the devotion of the plaited pubes to our dear sister. Songs must be sung during the plaiting process.
Plaits (that's braids to you 'mericans) must be redone each morning before dawn after a thorough washing. After all, cleanliness is next to godliness. I think sufficient proof, cos I really couldn't face photos, might be a devotional diary showing drawings of the different plait designs achieved, with details of the songs sung. A full month of devotions is required I think.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 5:24 pm

Hey, Trixie, I'm afraid everything in the church of TWAT must be documented with photos. It's in the bylaws. All devotional rituals must be documented with clear photographic or video evidence. Just ask Rev. Phystme. Smile

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