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Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 1:54 pm

Well, Phystme has taken over. Everyone is sick and tired of Dover's incompetence. So, Rev Phystme stepped it up and emailed Adamu to tell him that he is sending Dover's arse over there with the money, to save them. I CC'd all kinds of people on that email. UNHCR people, other TWAT members, TAWT accounting, etc. He should feel important.

Here is Adamu's response:

Quote:

DEAR REV WILLIAM,
I AM GREETING YOU IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST, AND WE ARE SAYING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU WE PRAY THAT GOD SHOULD GIVE YOU LONG LIVE AND PROSPERITY AMEN.
WE ARE HAPPY NOW FINALLY TO RECEIVE YOUR MESSAGE, WE ARE STILL STREDED HERE IN ABECHE BECAUSE REV BENJAMIN IS DOING NOTHING CONCERNING OUR SITUATION HERE IN ABECHE. HE IS THE ONE THAT TOLD ME TO COME TO CHAD I DID WITHOUT REFUSING HIS WORDS. I WAS ALSO TOLD TO LEAVE NDJAMENA TO ABECHE AND INSTRUCT ME TO HIRE A VEHICLE FROM NDJMENA TO ABECHE.THAT THE DRIVER MONEY WILL BE PAID IN ABECHE, I WAS SURPRISE TO SEE THAT ALL THE WESTERN UNION AND MONEY GRAM THEY SEND TO ME WAS ALL FAKE AND IT IS ONLY 3000USD TO PAY THE BILL OF THE DRIVER.
PLEASE REV WILLIAM, I WANT YOU TO USE YOUR POSITION AS THE PRESIDENT OF TWAT CHURCH TO HELP US TO SEND THE DRIVER MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION. PLEASE REV, THE CHAD LAW SAID THAT YOU SHOULD NOT PAY MORE THAN 1000 PER DAY SO THE 3000 WILL BE THREE DAYS 1000USD PER DAY.
PLEASE REV WILLIAM, THIS IS THE NAME YOU WILL USE TO SEND IT.
NAME: EMMANUEL EZEJI .A.
ADDRESS:ABECHE CHAD
QUESTION:WHAT FOR
ANSWER: TRANSPORT
PLEASE REV WILLIAM, HELP US THAT WE SHOULD BE FREE TO GO BACK TO NIGERIA WE HAVE STAYED ONEMONTH AND THREE WEEKS SLEEPING OUTSIDE SINCE WE CAME HERE TO CHAD.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR MUTUAL COOPERATION AND ALMIGHTY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND ENTIRE MEMBERS OF TWAT CHURCH AMEN.
ONCE AGAIN I SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ONBEHALF OF I AND MY BROTHER AND THE ENTIRE MEMBERS OF TWAT IN NIGERIA WE SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
BEST REGARDS?
ADAMU

He is so thoughtful.

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Didn't you tell him that once in Abeche he could find you at some very obvious UN building or something? How did you slip out of that?

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 3:05 pm

The idiot could not find the building, only the cafe, which by the way, is the ONLY cafe in Abeche.

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 3:06 pm

Well, we didn't tell him we were in the UN building. We told him we were in the building 20 meters to the west, or something similar. You know, the one with all of the satellite dishes on the roof (I think almost all of them have a bunch of satellite dishes on the roof)

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 10:43 pm

jojobean wrote:

He is so thoughtful.

Well after the pizza fiasco, he's learned some basic politeness. I bet you could turn him into a litlle Miss Manners of your very own after another few months.

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 12:47 am

IF these guys somehow manage to survive, the mod's going to have to come up with a PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) icon for you evil TWAT Masters to put in your siggys.

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:20 am

^^^A big tranquilizer pill, or a hypodermic needle!

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 30 Jun 2007 Posts: 82

One month and three weeks?
I wonder what the exit strategy would be.Stick it out for more 100 years or cut and run?

If the drivers name is still Emeka and this mugu wants the WU sent to Emmanuel Ezeji,I can conclude that both Mr Emeka and Mr Ezeji are of the same tribe in eastern Nigeria and speaks same native language,in Nigeria there are over 170 languages,so they must be real close or related.

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:26 pm

Had to sign in just to give you guys a beers!

for this!

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 2:35 pm

^^ Thanks foxhat, and welcome to Eater. Smile

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 5:15 pm

Thanks fox! Glad to see you enjoyed it...

Well, we had a chat with him. Prof is playing Dover and is writing in all caps. I am Phystme.

Quote:

adamulawal: hello Rev william i am here now
i am greeting you in the name of our lord Jesus christ

me: hello

adamulawal: i am here sir
i send a mail for oyu

me: Yes
one moment
Ben is coming in
He will be typing in all caps
okay?

adamulawal: please rev i have only 30minute

me: yes
this is fine
give me just one moment
Ben is logging in

adamulawal: okay
okay

me: how are you today Adamu?

adamulawal: i am fine
but iam not really feeling fine

me: Are you enjoying Abeche?
oh, why not?

adamulawal: no
sir
you know i have stay here for a month and three weeks

me: yes
I am very sorry about that

adamulawal: thank you

me: Trust me, you will be home soon
I basically spent my entire birthday working on a plan to get you your
money

adamulawal: please sir i want you to use your position

me: And to get you home

adamulawal: to send the driver money so that i will be free

me: We are trying to get the Western Union/Money Gram thing sorted
There are tons of problems with the Chadian government it seems
I'M HERE NOW

adamulawal: okay sir

me: that is Rev Dover
in all caps
ADAMU, THIS IS REVEREND DOVER
We sent money to Karim, a missionary in Sudan, via Western Union
just earlier

adamulawal: please i want it to be fast

me: He picked it up wth no problem

adamulawal: how are you sir

me: I'VE BEEN BETTER, ADAMU, BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING
HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER DOING?

adamulawal: i say once more happy birthday

me: THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THAT
thank you
WE ATE QUITE A BIT OF RICE AND STEW AT THE CELEBRATION WITH
YOU AND YOUR BROTHER IN MIND

adamulawal: please sir you can resend the money again
and attach it

me: Yes, we can try

adamulawal: give me the name of the sender and his or her phone

me: The accountants have been on the phone all week with Moneygram and Western Union

WE ARE CURRENTLY STRUGGLING TO DEAL WITH TRANSFERRING THESE FUNDS TO YOU. IT APPEARS THERE IS ONE PROBLEM AFTER ANOTHER WITH THE NETWORK IN CHAD

Trying to get this straightened out

adamulawal: okay
he can use both money gram

me: Adamu, please bear with us
We are trying our best

adamulawal: and western union please

me: YES, WE KNOW ADAMU
THIS DELAY IS ENTIRELY NOT OUR FAULT

adamulawal: let him send it 1000usd per day please

me: okay

adamulawal: i know but you see

me: we are tring ADamu

adamulawal: my family are not okay since i left

me: HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER DOING? HAVE YOU STARTED TO FEEL A BIT MORE HOME IN ABECHE?

adamulawal: nigeria to chad
here is not okay for us
the driver only give us bread and water
we are not feeding fine here

me: WELL, YOU KNOW IN OUR FAITH, BREAD IS THE SYMBOL OF CHRIST'S BODY

adamulawal: well i say that he try by doing that
i know the symbol is good
but please pay the driver so that i will have peace of mine please sir

me: yes
we are trying
THE STEW KIND OF PLAYED HELL ON MY DIGESTIVE TRACT ANYWAY
ADamu
tell us some things
What are you doing all day?
Is Abeche a peaceful place?

adamulawal: it is a pity sir
i know it will not do anything to you rev

me: THANKS, ADAMU

adamulawal: okay

me: CAN YOU PLEASE FOCUS ON WILLIAM'S QUESTIONS NOW?
WE NEED TO KNOW SOME THINGS

adamulawal: okay

me: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. THE ACCOUNTING OFFICE IS CALLING

adamulawal: okay
try to tell them to resend the money

me: Okay
Adamu

adamulawal: and send the name of the sender and phone number please

me: Yes
We will do this
Answer some of my questions now
Okay?

adamulawal: and let it be 1000usd per day please
okay

me: What are you and your brother doing all day?

adamulawal: sir we are praying to God and singing praises to deliver
us from this country
because this is a mulism country
and it is not okay if you are not a muslim

me: oh
You are like Paul and Silas then?
Remember how they were delivered
The chains fell off!

adamulawal: that is why we pray for protection

me: Yes

adamulawal: i know that

me: Okay
Another question
Where are you sleeping?
IS ANYONE VIOLENT TOWARDS YOU?

adamulawal: we sleep outside the driver compound
he give us blanket to sleep outside

me: THAT IS VERY KIND OF HIM
ALTHOUGH I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS INCREDIBLY CHILLY AT NIGHT THERE

adamulawal: it is very hot in the day time
and very chillying at night

me: really?
AH
That must be nice weather
I have always wanted to go to Abeche
Sounds so peaceful

adamulawal: yes
sir
it is not good for our health

me: Oh yeah?
Sounds like it would clear the sinuses

adamulawal: you know here is not took good

me: Why not?
Isn't it a peaceful place?
Aside from crazy Hamdan

adamulawal: because you will see army carrying gun

me: really?

adamulawal: patroling everyday

me: In Abeche?
Why?

adamulawal: yes sir

me: I thought Abeche was peaceful
DO THEY START ANY TROUBLE WITH YOU?

adamulawal: that is why i want to go home

me: Have you had any encounters with them?

adamulawal: not quick sir
no
but you will not like to see them
members of twat church are worried
of me sir because i have stayed too long

me: I THINK ALL OF THE ARMY MEN WITH GUNS WOULD MAKE ME FEEL SAFE

me: yes

IS THERE SOME WAY WE CAN CONTACT THEM?

adamulawal: no

me: Have you had any encounters with them?

adamulawal: no sir

me: I mean,have you had any run ins with the army?

WE HAVE MISSIONARIES IN NIGERIA NOW, SO MAYBE WE COULD SEND A DELEGATE THERE TO BRING FOOD AND CLOTHING TO THEM

You have remained safe, yes?

adamulawal: but i want you to do something quick

me: Yes

we are

Answer our questions

adamulawal: so that i settle the driver please

me: Adamu, have you ever had any encounters with the army or militia
there?
You or your brother?

adamulawal: no sir but i use to hear sound of gun everyday

me: Have you ever had to run from it?
Have you ever seen anyone get hit or die?

adamulawal: yes

me: WHAT HAPPENED?

adamulawal: they say that they are not chadian
and they are not allow to come inn
there country
because of language barry

me: SO THEY SHOT THEM?

adamulawal: they querry before they shot his leg

me: WOW
YOU SAW THAT HAPPEN?

tell us exactly what happened

adamulawal: last week
please sir my time is running fast
and i dont have money to pay

me: THE ACCOUNTANTS SAID THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE THIS FIGURED OUT TODAY OR TOMORROW. THEY SAID IT'S VERY DIFFICULT DEALING WITH THE PEOPLE IN CHAD THAT WORK AT THE OFFICES THERE.THEY'RE TRYING THEIR BEST

adamulawal: please let them put more effort

me: IS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO GET TO ADRE YET?
THEY'RE WORKING AROUND THE CLOCK ON IT, ADAMU

adamulawal: so that we settle the driver please

me: PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT

adamulawal: okay sir

me: WE ARE DEVASTATED OVER ALL OF THIS

adamulawal: please sir tell them

me: Yes
We are
Adamu

adamulawal: to send 1000usd per day

me: get back to your story
I want to hear about the gimp leg

adamulawal: that is all i know because they rush the person to the hospital

me: BUT YOU WATCHED THEM SHOOT HIS LEG?

adamulawal: no sir

me: JEEZE
THIS STORY SUCKS

adamulawal: it is a pity sir

me: TRULY

adamulawal: you know i can tell you liar

me: TELL US MORE ABOUT THE SOUND OF THE GUNSHOTS

adamulawal: it is true

me: WE BELIEVE EVERY WORD, ADAMU
DO THE GUNSHOTS KEEP YOU AWAKE AT NIGHT?
Yes, we know that the TWATs cannot tell a lie

adamulawal: at night you will hear gun sound
but you will not know the direction that it is coming
we use to fear here because of that

me: BUT NOW YOU'RE ACCUSTOMED TO IT?

adamulawal: thank you sir
what will i do

me: WE HAVE A SAYING HERE AT TWAT CENTRAL
"WHEN IN DOUBT, RUN LEFT" Yes

adamulawal: is only to ask God to protect us

me: THIS WOULD ALSO WORK WITH THE GUNSHOTS
A tried and true method
Adamu, do you have a phone now?
What is the number
we tried to call several times yesterday
But with no luck
We tried calling Emeka

adamulawal: no i dont have any here

me: Are you being truthful?
I thought you said that you had a phone the other day

adamulawal: yes
sir

me: Or do you mean you just dont have it at the cafe

adamulawal: he gave us one of his phone
but later he collect it back

me: YOU DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO ANY OTHER PHONES?
WHAT IF WE HAVE AN IMPORTANT UPDATE?

adamulawal: i dont have any here sir
i dont

me: Are you in contact with anyone in Nigeria?

adamulawal: expect you call him

me: Any family?

adamulawal: like yesterday he told us
that you call and
you will call back in 5minute time
but we waited
and you do not call again
no
sir

me: ADAMU, HERE IS WHAT WE NEED YOU TO DO TODAY...

adamulawal: because i dont have money to call them

me: YOU NEED TO FIND YOUR WAY HERE, TO WHERE THIS PICTURE DEPICTS

adamulawal: that is why they are fearing about

me: THIS IS THE ABECHE TECHNOLOGY CORRIDOR

adamulawal: my wereabout

me: http://www.bmlv.gv.at/ausle/eufor_tschad/galerie/vollbild/10539-2008d_tcd_b.jpg

THAT MAN IS NAMED RAHIM
TELL HIM THAT REVEREND DOVER INSISTS THAT HE GIVE YOU A PHONE
FOR USE THERE, SO WE MAY GETA HOLD OF YOU
AND INSTRUCT HIM TO DEBIT OUR ACCOUNT ACCORDINGLY
DID YOU SEE THE PICTURE?
Yes, listen to Reverend Dover Adamu

adamulawal: please sir i know him

me: I could use that water for my plants
EXCELLENT
You know him?
Rahim?
I FIGURED YOU MIGHT KNOW HIM
How do you know him?

adamulawal: just help me out please
no sir

me: WE'RE TRYING EVERYTHING WE CAN DO, ADAMU
Oh, you meant you DONT know him
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO US

adamulawal: yes sir

me: Adamu
PLEASE FIND RAHIM TODAY
Can you lsiten to me for one second?

adamulawal: please sir help me out please Rev

me: Have you made any attempt to get to Adre?
Any at all?

adamulawal: how will i go
without money

me: THE LORD WILL CARRY YOU

adamulawal: it is 171km
from here

me: DO YOU HAVE ACCESS TO A CAMEL?

adamulawal: please rev William i want you to help me out
please send the driver money so that i will be free

me: YEAH

adamulawal: my time is up

me: ADAMU
Hold on Adamu
FIND THE TECHNOLOGY CORRIDOR
Listen
Reverend Dover will be leaving today or tomorrow for you

adamulawal: please sir if they send it let them attach the receipt please

me: The accountants are getting the cash together

adamulawal: okay

me: In all, it is $300,000
There is extra money for your troubles
AND YOUR BROTHER'S

adamulawal: they should pay 1000per day please

me: He will have fresh clothing as well
Have you taken a bath?
When was the last time that you bathed?

adamulawal: thank you and GOD BLESS YOU AMEN

me: ADAMU, HAVE YOU TAKEN A BATH?

adamulawal: ONCE A DAY

me: AH
NICE
TELL YOUR BROTHER HELLO FOR US

adamulawal: PLEASE I AM WAITING TO

me: WE WILL E-MAIL YOU THE DETAILS OF MY FLIGHT

adamulawal: RECEIPT THE WU OR MG PLEASE SIR

me: YES, WE'RE AWARE

adamulawal: OKAY SIR

me: STAY STRONG, ADAMU

adamulawal: BYE

me: YOU TRY ANY OF THAT MILLET THEY COOK OVER THERE?

adamulawal: THAK YOU

me: SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD
I am glad to are able to take a bath
Nothing is worse than a dirty TWAT
SURE THERE IS
TWO DIRTY TWATS
Yes

adamulawal: THANK YOU BYE

me: Do you agree Adamu?

adamulawal: YES

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 6:10 pm

Hahahahahaha! BRILLIANT!
Thumbs up

Five thumbs!

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 6:19 pm

^^^clean up in aisle 1!

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 6:22 pm

How do you really feel Doc? Hehe. Laughing

Adamu's soulmate Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 337

Oh my god - that is hysterical

"Do you have access to a camel" Laughing

Seems he just wants to get back to his fellow twats in Nigeria now - i think it will be some time yet before he gets there Very Happy

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 6:33 pm

Jojo meant to wrote:

THIS DELAY IS ENTIRELY OUR FAULT

You accidentally put the word "not" in there. Laughing

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 6:36 pm

Whoa, the news clippings posted upthread suggested that things were heating up in eastern Chad, but gunfire all around, holy cow. I wonder if they have the moral courage to keep wearing their pink sashes.

Quote:

I could use that water for my plants

You guys kill me.

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 6:47 pm

Quote:

"WHEN IN DOUBT, RUN LEFT"

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 6:52 pm

Quote:

THE LORD WILL CARRY YOU

you guys are just brilliant Laughing

Quote:

because you will see army carrying gun

The growing tension and possible full-scale war between Chad and Sudan could make Adamu's life even more miserable... but soon there'll be a whole army of TWATs defending Abeche. The battle of the only cyber cafe along HOSPITAL ROAD will be a fierce one.

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 7:43 pm

Quote:

me: THIS IS THE ABECHE TECHNOLOGY CORRIDOR

Where they apparently produce "heavy water"

Wonderful work guys!!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 24 Jul 2007 Posts: 7

Might be shocking for to learn that both WU/MG branches are in the pay of the local warlord/military commander and have been syphoning off TWAT's payments to Brother - he needs to get to a safer place Wink

or failing that take it up with the local commander - bang bang!

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 7:56 pm

WE ATE QUITE A BIT OF RICE AND STEW AT THE CELEBRATION WITH
YOU AND YOUR BROTHER IN MIND

ha! Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 03 Jan 2006 Posts: 1455

"I THINK ALL OF THE ARMY MEN WITH GUNS WOULD MAKE ME FEEL SAFE "

Fantastic!

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 10:10 pm

well, you know where you are with a bunch of amphetamine-crazed fourteen year old militia types. Pushed over a barrel and beheaded or simply chopped to bits by AK fire is almost assured.

This brings me to a question of ethics:

How far is too far?

While the lad believes that he is swindling money off someone he is open to persuasion from us. But if he ends up in some ghastly hell-hole, and he still asks for money to get home, at what point do we assume that he is asking out of fear for his own existence? What level of responsibility do we assume for what he experiences on his travels, and what is excusable? Fear, discomfort, the derision of locals, hunger and cold will all heal in time. Gunshot wounds are more serious. On the other hand the lad may turn to crimes of violence to fund his cafe time (or simply to eat) if he finds himself high and dry.

So, how far is too far? and how far do we go?

Discuss over ten pints of guinness

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 10:16 pm

Quote:

So, how far is too far? and how far do we go?

Discuss over ten pints of guinness

And please, start another thread about it instead of getting all sloppy drunk in this one. Smile

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