TWAT lad:Abidjan-Accra-Lagos-Sokoto-NDjamena Idiot goes home

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Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 12:49 pm

Just remember, there is no cafe between Abeche and Ndjamena. No cell service either.

Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 10:38 pm

It's going to be even more interesting.
And, actually, you were right: the story of dying brother was just a lie to put some drama in the money request.
Those people can't help lying...

Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 3:14 am

Quote:

before we could no what was happening they started beating every body messlessly and seriously injured many passengers including my friend as the beating they gave me also

I trust you have asked for photographic proof so he can claim from the special missionary health services fund?

Master Baiter Joined: 22 Dec 2005 Posts: 211

^^^Was going to do that, but figured he'd probably just Google something and send that. Plus, I wanted to try and focus on keeping him moving toward N'Djamena.

Lad starts to get ansy after the Pastor doesn't reply for one whole day:

Quote:

Dear Sir Pastor Harry,

How do you do?
I have been waiting to hear from you since my last mail to you.

Please you are to write back to me as a matter of urgency so that i can know what to do next.

Thanks
Davis

The Pastor sent his to the lad in reply with some delay tactics:

Quote:

Hello Brother,

Please bear with me. Have the accounts department contacted you yet? In the meantime, you should immediately start seeking a means to reach Chad and let me know how you will be traveling here and which day you expect to arrive in N'Djamena.

You mentioned earlier that your phone was stolen. How will I be able to contact you in Chad? Can you get access to another one?

Also, where are you staying right now in Nigeria? Where are you sleeping?

Don't worry , Brother. I am working very hard on my side to ensure that everything works out for us. Stay calm. We will put our heads together and find a good solution to this. We must succeed now that we have come this far. Remain strong in the Lord and remember that Satan often tests us and places challenges in our way. But our true strength is revealed when we remain strong in these trying times and use our faith to rise above these challenges and find a way ahead. That is what TWAT is all about. Remember, Brother: rewards in life come only to those with perseverance and determination to see their goals through.

Please let me know if the accounts department have contacted you yet, so that I can follow things up on my end.

God bless,

Pastor Harry

Several days later, the lad writes:

Quote:

Dear Sir Pastor Harry,

How are you this day? i apologise for my inability to have replied your email since now.
The account department has not yet contacted me and i have been waiting to hear from them since your last mail to me ensuring me nthat they would as a matter of urgency.

We are currently in Kano State because we want to move gradually till we get to Chad.

For the Phone, I will like you to provide me with a cell phone number that is local nin Chad and reachable so that we can be able to call you bas soon as we get to Chad since the Other one is unable to connect you.

Please tell the account department to be fast and send the payment immidiatley because the Money we have here cannot be ok for us because it was provided by one able here nwho saw our conditions.

Good news,
My frind has been discharged and he is a bit ok.

We shall tell you to send the missionaries as soon as we get to chad. Ndjamena.
but remember we have no enough money to come to Ndjamena and you have to do something because we are almost stranded

Hear from you soonest..

Thanks
Davis

Quote:

Received: from [193.220.78.20]
Kano, Nigeria

Hmm, so he went from being "completely stranded" in Sokoto, to "almost stranded" in Kano. Isn't that supposed to work the other way around? I wonder what his definition for the term will be once he makes it to Chad.

The Pastor sends this off in hopes that they will continue moving towards Chad's border:

Quote:

Greetings Brother Davis,

The transfer is sitting with the accounts department. They will put it through as soon as possible and I have asked them to make it a priority for you. I am not sure if it will go through before Monday however, given that it is the weekend now. The church committee are in charge of authorizing many donation payments every week, so sometimes it takes them several days to get around to sending individual payments out. Please be patient with them, Brother. They have your details and your payment is on their list. They will get to it as soon as possible.

I am very relieved to hear that your Brother in Christ has recovered somewhat. This is fantastic news. Praise the Lord that our prayers have aided him to recover swiftly!

In regards to Chad phone numbers, we do not use cell phones or landlines in this country. Since we move around all the time from place to place, we are often in regions where there is no cell coverage at all. Therefore, we always use the satellite phone system so that we can make and receive calls no matter where we are in Chad. Our numbers work, as we receive calls on them all day. What is the exact number you are dialing? can you confirm it to me?

Please, if you have a phone with you, Brother, provide me with the number as it is very important that I can contact you that way.

God bless,

Pastor Harry

After another short delay, the lad claims to be in Cameroon:

Quote:

Dear Sir Pastor Harry,

How are you this day? hope fine.

We want to inform you that we are currently in Kousseri in Cameroon near N'djamena and we are unable to cross the lake chad now because of problems from the immigration and again the ill news hear but i dont want to tell you until we come and you see things your self.

Please can you send the missionaries to come to Lake chad here and meet us because we are unable to cross?

We can even see N'djamena here but we cant.

i think that is a good news to us but a sad news follows it.

well i need your urgentr response as you tell me as soon as they are on their way to here.

Thanks
Davis

Quote:

Received: from [213.181.83.98]
Lagos Nigeria

Well, their IP is showing Lagos, but I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they're really in Kouss�ri. I told this clown to get a Chad Visa (in a reverse psychological sort of way, so that he actually wouldn't -- but the implication was there) and he refused, so now he'll just have to jump the border...

Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 3:45 am

Has this been a quick recovery from "a state of Comma", or whut?

Quote:

Good news,
My frind has been discharged and he is a bit ok.
Davis

I think we have a lying TWAT on our hands. Shocked

Master Baiter Joined: 22 Dec 2005 Posts: 211

Here's a visual representation of how far these two morons have traveled so far:

Master Baiter Joined: 22 Dec 2005 Posts: 211

While I was still in the process of typing a reply to the lad, he sent this:

Quote:

Dear Sir Pastor Harry,

How are you this day?

I have not heard from you since i sent you a mail.
I will like you to tell the Missionaries to start coming because we are about to cross the lake that will not take us 20mins to N'djamena. i thank God for at last we have succeded to do so.

I am not happy that the church committe have not been able to send the payment to me.
Please tell them to be fast about it.

Please I will like the missionaries there now to take a quick photo of them and the jeep they will be coming with so that we can recognise them as soon as we see them.

I and my brother will be in TWAT cloth and my brother is having Boundage on his head and hand.

We shall also like to see you standing with them on the photo so that we can get to you easily and immidiately. i will like you to give them money so that we can lodge in a hotel and refresh or you better still come with them.

Please we do not have any phone or phones here and i would have loved to.

Please i have been calling your number and it has not been going through why? this is the number i call xxxxxxxxx or xxxxxxxxxx.

Please comfrim them.

Please tell us when and how and were the missionaris will arrive N'Djamena.

Thanks
Davis

I quickly finished the email I was typing to his previous reply and sent it off:

Quote:

Greetings Brother,

This is an excellent development that you are so near to Chad now. Once you have reached Chad and arrived in Abeche with the missionaries, I can give you the church funding and we can finally start discussing the next stages of development and building of your congregation.

However, you will need to get across the border and enter N'Djamena. There is nothing I can do from outside of Chad, even if it is only a few miles away. Were you not aware that you would need money or visas to enter the Chad? Can't you simply cross the border to Chad in an area where nobody is looking? You MUST get to N'Djamena as the missionaries cannot leave this country, as I have said. They have been issued with diplomatic passports issued by the UNHCR which only allow them within Chad and the Sudan. But they will be stopped if they go anywhere else. Being associated with the UNCHR makes them easily recognizable; therefore it is too risky for them to sneak across the border because the repercussions of them being caught are severe. Please Brother, you have to find a way to get across the border. Do anything possible to get into N'DJamena so that we can finalize things.

The missionaries are currently in Al Fashir in Sudan, as they had to fly there urgently with our pilot to airlift a sick child back to Chad. They will return to Adre either tonight or tomorrow morning. Once they arrive back, I will immediately send them down to N'Djamena for you tomorrow with money and supplies. For now, you must get across the border and make it into N'Djamena.

Blessings,

Pastor Harry

The lad writes:

Quote:

Dear Pastor Harry,

Please how and were shall we sty and wait for them till tommoro? as we do not know any body in Chad.

Crossing is not and by God's Grace will never be the problem and a barrier.
Please get back to me urgently.

Thanks
Davis

So the Pastor says:

Quote:

Greetings Brother,

Do you mean that the church accounts department still has not replied back to you yet? Let me look into this. I will make a few calls and see what is going on with this payment. It is still only early Monday, however, so the transfer may not go through until later in the day. I will check into this for you.

The missionaries aren't here in Chad right now, so unfortunately I can't take a photo of them standing next to the vehicle with me. And I don't think I have an existing picture like this. But I will look through our digital camera photos here and see if I can find a decent photo of the missionaries and the vehicle to send to you, so that you will be able to recognize them. Thank you for also telling me that you will be wearing the TWAT robes. That will make you stand out clearly to the missionaries, as they will also be wearing the TWAT robes too. They will also be carrying plenty of money with them, so please don't worry about that. Everything will be well covered. Additionally, You may use the Western Union money to cover you for accommodation costs for tonight.

Do you have any money of your own remaining Brother? How much do you have left?

Our pilot, Mr. Johnson, will be able to fly you back home to Cote D'Ivoire once I have given you the building funds in Abeche and also the money to repay your creditor. Your flight home will be much faster and trouble-free. I am sure that you do not want to catch public transport all the way back home again and with our flight you can ensure the security of the funds in transit. This is the very least that we can do for you after your excellent efforts to spread TWAT in Africa. After Mr Johnson returns from Al Fashir, he will fly the missionaries directly to Abeche where they left their vehicle. Mr Johnson will ground the TWAT plane near Abeche since it has been experiencing a mechanical problem with the landing gear that he needs to fix before flying again. He is currently working on that. The plane will be ready in time to fly you home.

Brother, if you do not have a phone, then how are you dialing our numbers? It seems that you are dialing too many digits. The correct numbers are ++++++++ and +++++++++. Please try your best to buy a cell phone in Chad so that both myself and the missionaries can call you urgently when needed. This is extremely important. You can use some money from the WU transfer to buy yourself and your brother good cell phones so we can always stay in communication until we meet face-to-face.

As soon as you arrive in N'DJamena, please send me an email from the cafe to confirm that you are here in Chad. Please bear with me, as it is a very busy time for the UNHCR right now in Adre. I have to go to the border camps this later this afternoon, so I may not be near my email for several hours. But please send me an email when you reach N'Djamena and I will get back to you as soon as I can. I will also see to it that the accounting department puts the WU transfer through as soon as possible, and that the missionaries head down to N'Djamena to collect you when they arrive back from Al Fashir.

God bless,

Pastor Harry

I'm afraid you'll be sleeping beneath the starts tonight, Davis. Wink

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 1:54 am

Don't forget that the people at the WU office in Ndjamena seem to be onside with helping these lads believe all the reasons their money never arrives.
I'll bet they would crap their tweedies if a second set of lads showed up in TWAT garb looking for nonexistant money transfers. Don't we at least owe them a visit from these travel worn, bandaged morons?
When they finally make it to Abeche tell him to just follow his nose to find Adamu. Laughing

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 2:10 pm

Quote:

I and my brother will be in TWAT cloth and my brother is having Boundage on his head and hand.

Ewwwwww. Your WU Secure Transfer has been sent Kryall. Has he mentioned it yet?

Master Baiter Joined: 22 Dec 2005 Posts: 211

^^^Oh yeah, he's got it. Thanks!

Last time we heard from the lad, he had requested a photo of the missionaries with the Pastor alongside their vehicle. Happy to oblige, the pastor sends this:

Quote:

Greetings Brother,

I have searched my hard drive but I do not have many good photos of the missionaries and their vehicle taken together. I have found one photograph, taken about 2 weeks ago of the missionaries with their car, but they are not standing side by side. In this photo, one missionary is on the right side. He is the one talking on the satellite phone, and the other is in the background (in the middle of the photo). They are both wearing the TWAT robes as you can see.

You can see their transport vehicle in the background. It has the image of the TWAT pyramid on both doors, so it is very easily recognizable.

I must return to the border camp now. I will check my email again later to see if you have arrived in N'Djamena.

In God we trust,

Pastor Harry

This is the doctored up image I attached for him:

I didn't hear from him for over a day, so I fired this quick one-liner off from the Pastor:

Quote:

Greetings Brother,

Have you have arrived in N'Djamena yet? I was expecting to have heard from you by now. Please give me an update so that we can move ahead.

Blessings,

Pastor Harry

Another day passes with no reply from the mugus. But suddenly this comes in today!

Quote:

Dear Sir Pastor Harry,

How are you this day.

This is to inform you that we are currently in Chad N'djamena now.
Right now we are stranded and we beg you to send the missionaries immidiately to come and pick us.
We are standing by the Ambassade area in Ndjamena near university du N'djamena.

Please we have been calling the number but it wasnt going through.
Please tell us were to wait for the missionaries and when they will come at this moment please.

Please we do not know any were here, so you have to be fast about all Sir.

I received a letter from the western union yesterday but i tracked it online but it wasnt through Why?

Please come to our aid now.

Thanks
Davis

15 minutes later...

Quote:

Dear Sir Pastor Harry,

I am very comfused at all, Why is the missionaries i saw on the photo having Guns with them, coupled with other armed men around them?

Please clearify me, i do not do eveil but i only want to serve God and God forbid anybody that would take away our souls for notting.

I want it to be made known to you that i only got your church in an internet site and i became interested to serve God throughb your Church, so please it will be very unfortunate that i will die before my time only because we want to build for God and serve him in truth and in spirit.

Please Help clearify me.

Thanks
Davis

Oh, I'd love you help 'clearify' you, but I'm afraid you wouldn't like my honest answers one bit, so let's just stick to little white lies, shall we?

The Pastor sends this off to them in response:

Quote:

Hello Brother Davis,

My heart is much gladdened to hear that you have finally made it here to Chad safely. As I mentioned, the missionaries are still at least a several day's journey from N'Djamena as they are coming back from Al Fashir in Sudan as we speak. When they reach Chad once more, they will drive from Abeche down to collect you in N'Djamena. The photo I sent to you of the missionaries was taken a couple of weeks ago at the Chad/Sudan border. Those armed men are not missionaries and they are not members of the TWAT church. They are simply the officers who guard the border between Chad and Sudan. They are all very friendly men and enjoy a good joke now and again. They also provide security and protection for us at the border camps by keeping away rebels. That is why it's so safe up here.

Brother, I have asked the treasurer at church accounts dept. about the Western Union payment and he assures me that the $3000 payment has been made. I have confirmed that the money is waiting for you to collect. But remember, it is a secure transfer so you need to print the letter and take it with you as a receipt to show them. They said you do not need to show ID if you have that letter.

Please be aware that the missionaries will not reach N'DJamena for another day or two. I am sorry about this, but as you are no doubt aware, Chad is quite a large country and it takes time to travel between places. But please DO NOT panic. Just relax, stay where you are, and adjust to your new environment. Let the Culture Shock pass. See the sights of Chad and the missionaries will be there to collect you before you know it. Please use the money from the western union secure transfer for your lodging and expenses to hold you over until the missionaries reach you and carry you to Abeche.

One more thing, Brother Davis, please get a phone or borrow one so that I can call you urgently. I would like to have a good number that I can contact you on at any time so that I can give you the latest updates instantly. Email takes longer to communicate through. You have made it so far to reach Chad and we are now so close to the end of our goal! We MUST complete this task quickly now so that you can return home with the $200,000 USD, start building the church, and also repay your creditor with the money I have here for you. I will be traveling to Abeche in the next few days and that is where I will be meeting you.

God Bless,

Pastor Harry

Quote:

Received: from [213.185.119.226]
United Kingdom
REASSIGNMENT TO CUSTOMER NST&T UNIVERS PHONE - AFRIKANET - AFRIKASAT

Damn! I wish there was a way to confirm that he was actually in Chad. Given the fact that his IP has changed yet again, I'm inclined to beleive he's there. Is there only one 'net cafe in N'DJamena? If so, it would have to be the same one Adumu was at, correct? How did you confirm he was really there?

Took them freakin' long enough to get there! Oh well, I'll just have to remind myself that all that road travel is probably NOT something they're going to want to subject themselves to again any time soon. Good thing TWAT has that comfy plane.

Now the most crucial part comes into play. He'll either turn back and go home, or head beyond the point of no return. Something tells me the recent closure of the Chad/Sudan border is going to keep the missionaries tied up in Al Fashir a little longer than expected. And just when this punk thought payday was just around the corner. That's a shame...

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 5:38 pm

The cafe that Adamu emailed us from in Ndjamena had a UK IP. Oxford, to be exact. We were able to confirm it by a number of methods, the most obvious being his Chadian telephone number. You can't fake that. We also have the IP of one of the MANY cafes in Abeche. Laughing

Okay Okay. There is only one and it is along HOSPITAL ROAD. I'll check in a bit to compare the IPs.

I think it would be funny if he went to the motor park and talked to the owner. But he might tip him off. So, now you need to get him to Abeche.

Why isn't he mentioning that transfer? Surely he knows it cannot be picked up in Ndjamena.

EDIT: Adamu's N'djamena IP: 213.185.119.226 Laughing

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 5:41 pm

You're not "Master baiter", but "Master (of) Evil"
I'm laughing out my guts.
HOW it is possible to persuade people to go so far in the middle of nowhere?
Mugus can more blind than their victims.

Master Baiter Joined: 22 Dec 2005 Posts: 211

jojobean wrote:

Why isn't he mentioning that transfer? Surely he knows it cannot be picked up in Ndjamena.

Whoops, one of the lad's letters was truncated above. I edited the post and included the end part where he briefly mentioned the WU Secure not working. Don't worry, he's an idiot. Not exactly the brightest bulb in the box. Laughing

Quote:

EDIT: Adamu's N'djamena IP: 213.185.119.226

Haha! That's priceless!

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 9:28 pm

Kryal, nice work! I am impressed! Hahahah, sending a lad to Chad! This is the season for it!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 12 May 2008 Posts: 29

This is brilliant! Maith th�, cara.

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 10:53 pm

Great stuff, Kryall. I can't wait 'til the first rays of hope start to fade, and the begging gets louder. Next stop, Abeche!! It would be so funny to have them in the same cafe as Adamu and not mention anything to Adamu about them coming. Imagine looking over and randomly seeing more TWATs. I bet he'd get so excited, for like a minute.

Elite Baiter Joined: 03 Jan 2006 Posts: 1455

Fantastic. I hear Chad's lovely at this time of year, I'm sure they'll have a great time.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 07 May 2008 Posts: 51

If you get him to Abeche, maybe he can hang up my flyer:

According to Google, the text literally translates to:

"Wanted: Dead or Alive

(picture here)

People above are spies for the government of Sudan must be arrested at all costs. 400000 francs reward has been authorized any person to assist in the arrest."

Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 6:15 pm

Updates?

Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 6:42 pm

Let's hope they haven't run afoul of Emeka the Hand. This is impressive baiting so far, Kryall.

Master Baiter Joined: 22 Dec 2005 Posts: 211

*Sigh* The TWAT has found the OTHER Chad Safari thread, cracked the shits at me, and gone back to Nigeria.

I'm trying to convince him that the other thread is the work of some cruel pranksters (not exactly a lie!) who are taking the TWAT church's name in vain. Sadly, I think the game is probably up though...

Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 6:47 pm

^^^
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

How did he find it?

Master Baiter Joined: 22 Dec 2005 Posts: 211

Beats me! I guess he must have Googled "TWAT Abeche N'DJamena" or something to that effect.

I did get a nice curse out of it though:

Quote:

Dear Master of eveil,

Thank you very much for using the children an servants of God for play and wel God will reward you.

The Lord has reveled all the things yoiu do to us, YOU SHALL DIE A SHAMEFUL DEATH, YOU SHALL NEVER WITHNESS PEACE AND YOUR WAYS SHALL BE DARK AND SLIPRY.

I have wanted to work for God and you used the opportunity to deceive us you deceit.

Well o understand what i mean see this site i have been reveled to by God.
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1134613
Again see .http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1110277

Well we thank you very much Evil Man.
You will not withness rest in your life unless you repay us every expencies made then the corse will go

Thanks
davis

Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 7:01 pm

I have to ask that an Admin please change your title to this:

Master of eveil

I particularly care for this:

Quote:

YOUR WAYS SHALL BE DARK AND SLIPRY

Just like the TWAT as I told YW.

Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 7:03 pm

I hope the revelation of the Adamu brothers' story at least put some fear into their hearts. Beware the power of the TWAT.

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