Uncle Frank's a dumbass....

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Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 6:24 am

Decided to use this scammer from the 'surplus letters' forum to experiment with J.Dogs 'accidentally sent email trick'. I'm happy to discover that it works well. Good shit J.Dog! Thumbs up

Here's the dumbasses intitial letter and my responses, etc. I'll publish this here as an ongoing until he twigs or I end up mashing him with my boots. Very Happy

Quote:

From:Steven Dikko
Abidjan, Ivory Coast West Africa

APPEAL FOR URGENT BUSINESS ASSISTANCE

Dear,

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I got your name and contact from Ivoiren chember of commerce.I prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to its esteeming nature and the recommendations given to me as a reputable and trust worthy person that I can do business with and by the recommendation ,I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business .

I am Steven Dikko the only son of late Mr and Mrs Joseph Dikko.My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan , the economic capital of Ivory coast, my father was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outings on a business trip . My mother died when I was a baby and since then my father took me so special. Before the death of my father on January 2001 in a private hospital here in Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of ten million,five hundred thousand United State Dollars. USD ($ 10.500,000) left in fixed / suspense account in one of the prime bank here in Abidjan ,that he used my name as his only son for the next of Kin in depositing of the fund. He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth that he was poisoned by his business associates. That I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where i will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose such as real
estate
management or hotel management .

dear, I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways:

(1) To provide a good bank account into which this money would be transferred into .

(2) To serve as a guardian of this fund since I am only 22years.

(3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a resident permit in your country.

Moreover, dear, i am willing to offer you 15% of the total sum as compensation for your effort/ input after the successful transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas. Furthermore, you indicate your options towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within fourteen (7) days you signify interest to assist me. Anticipating to hear from you soon.

Here is the telephone number where you can reach me.+225 07563921.

Thanks and God bless.

Best regards,

Steven Dikko.

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 6:31 am

Joe Pesci is sending a letter to his uncle Frank but accidentally enters the scammers email address by mistake. Here's what Joe sent:

Quote:

Uncle Frank,

How are you? I hope that you've been keeping well this past little while. I'm just writing to let you know that the plans for my trip to see you have been finalized and you'll also be happy to know that I will be bringing the $20,500 along with me to help you put the down payment on your new house out there in Peterborough. So you don't have to worry anymore, everything will go through as planned and you can retire in peace like you've always wanted to. I hope that your toe cancer hasn't been acting up on you too much. I'll be arriving next friday, so until then take care and God bless.

Your nephew,
Joe

p.s. I hope that my cousins Mike and Ike are looking forward to my visit, I have a big surprise planned for them, they deserve it after that operation to seperate them from each other. I know that their anuses must hurt like hell, but it was all worth it in the end wasn't it? They now get to live seperate and independant lives.

p.p.s Okay I'll let you know what their surprise is (I can hardly contain my excitement), but don't you dare tell them, or I'll be real mad okay? I've bought them each a new BMW car. It's sort of symbolic of their newfound freedom.

Joe

Let's see if Steven Dikko will be polite enough to just delete the letter or at least let Joe know that he has sent his letter to the wrong person....

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 6:42 am

....in a word...NO. This thieving scumbag has now magically turned into 'uncle Frank' what a surprise huh? Here's his response to my accidentally sent letter....

Quote:

Dear Joe,
I am very grateful to hear from you I wish to inform you that we have finally arranged to finalize things your coming does not matter mush we have another great suggestion the cancer sickness was developed worst and could not even believe if we will be successful to this stage, there was a native doctor from Abidjan whom the world confirmed as a specialist in curing cancer sickness we have concluded with him he will be arriving here to take care of the sickness so we plead you to send the money through WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER with this name below.

Mr. Michael O. Ezeokoye.

Address: Abidjan Cote d� Ivoire

Use this question and answer below

Question: MOTHER.

Answer: SON.

Try to send the US$ 20,500.00 before coming with the name above and please kindly be using only this email address in replying us don�t use the former email for security reason. Use this mail from now at : ([email protected]) Please don�t try to fly with such amount there�re many fund monitoring at the airport now we don�t want you to have a problem on your way it is better you send all the money by Western Union so when you arrive you make use of the remaining money.

Please don�t call on phone for now only write us with the above email address only.

Thanks

Uncle Frank.

And not only that he sends this letter mere minutes later to remind Joe again to send the money and not to forget the ten digits of the control number. What a nice helpful lot these lads are, 'eh?

Quote:

Dear Joe,

Please don't forget to send the money and the 10 digits of the control number.*

Uncle Frank.

Joe is of course going to be very confused and will wonder if the doctors have prescribed the wrong medications for him, causing him to be 'confused' again. Razz

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 7:22 am

Like I said, Joe's confused.....

Quote:

Uncle Frank,

This letter has me very confused and worried about your condition now. Has Dr. Martens prescribed you the wrong medications again? I'll never forget the last time when he mixed the peyote with those Ambien sleeping medications. You were confused and groggy for over a week.

I understand that you're worried about me taking the money on the plane, but don't be. You know what kind of business I'm in...we don't need to worry about such things. If you really want me to I'll send the BMW's there before I arrive. That way I'll be able to see the twins zipping and zooming up and down the street when I get there. That will fill my heart with joy.

I'll be there next friday at about 9am with the $25,500 ok? I'll talk to Dr. Martens when I arrive to see about your medication. Take care and God Bless. Write me back if you need anything.

Joe

I can't wait for the response.... Razz

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 8:44 am

Quote:

I wish to inform you that we have finally arranged to finalize things your coming does not matter mush

You can really see those $$$ signs here... what a greedy asshole!

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 10:05 am

Nice job

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 11:04 am

His reply:

Quote:

Dear Joe.

To be sincere I did not mean that there was another prescribtion towards my medication rather mean there was a native doctor from Abidjan who they discribed to me I am having very big problem now I may ask you send me US$3,550.00 so I will ask the doctor to come up the medical attention from Dr. Martens is not enough for the current situation so please do not fail to send me this sum without delay so the doctor could be able to take care of things.

Send the money with this name please don't fail to do so today because tomorrow is weekend there will not be any Western Union open.

This is the name to send the money.

Mr. Michael O. Ezeokoye.

Address: Abidjan Cote d' Ivoire.

use this secret code question and Answer.

Question: MOTHER.
Answer: SON.

Please send the 10 digits of the control number to this email address.

I look forward hearing from you soonest.

Take care.

Uncle Frank.

This one's a real dumbass. Since he wants me to send him the money before the weekend, he will be waiting for a response until monday morning when he'll be sent a message letting him know that there still won't be any money forthcoming until I get a certificate from Dr. Martens explaining what's going on with the medication situation. If he sends me messages in the meantime titled 'urgent' then he'll have to wait until tuesday. Yes, I'm an asshole when it comes to this stuff.

Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 2:02 pm

Okay, okay I know that I said I'd be waiting until monday to reply but he's been a good pet for the weekend not sending me any stupid messages or anything like that so I wrote him early. Here's what I said:

Quote:

Dear Uncle Frank,

I am now beginning to get deeply worried, I think that your hallucinations that I need a secret question, as well as a control number to send you money are getting very frightening. Can you please get Dr. Martens to send me a statement regarding your medication before I send the $3,550 for the new doctor? I think that you are getting everything confused in your head again. Also I'd like for you to let me know if you do want me to send the 2 BMW's for Mike and Ike early like we talked about before? I'm worried about you and I'm praying that you are all right.

Get Dr. Martens to send me the medication statement right away and I'll send the money to you for the new doctor. (I just know that Dr. Martens has mixed up the peyote with the Ambien again, damn him!) I will still be flying out to meet you with the rest of the $25,500 on friday though, so please rest yourself and take care. God bless you, and please write back to me.

Love,
Your nephew Joe

As you can see Joe's getting more worried now, hence his use of the terms "Dear" and "Love" in his letter to uncle Frank, which he hasn't done until this time. I can't wait until the dumbass replies. Very Happy

He will be very frustrated upon opening that letter I'm sure. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 1:50 pm

Well, 'uncle Frank' is now calling me "Dearest Joe". I love it when grooming works. Wink

He's also as frustrated as I hoped he would be. This makes me very happy.

Not only that the cheeky bugger also wants me to send him one of the BMW's (I know I kept asking him about it but this is the first time he's asked. I still don't understand why he doesn't get it that there are two BMW's-something that Joe will enquire about for sure). I'm not happy though that Dr. Martens hasn't sent me the medication sheet. Just gives me more to call him out on anyways. Wink

Quote:

Dearest Joe.

It seems you don't understand my situation right away Dr. Martens have nothing to send you I was directed to a native doctor who will take care of me and I was fighting to the sum to enable me bring the native doctor I am very surprised that up till now the money will not be send to me I couldn't beleive it.

Please kindly send me the money with the above mentioned information I still alive waiting to welcomed you and still in need to of the BMW.

I hope to hear from you.

Thanks
Uncle Frank.

I still haven't decided whether Joe's going to respond right away or if he's going to wait a bit. I've also got to think a while before I make my decisions. I'm gonna go have another coffee and rack my tired brain for a bit. Razz

Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:06 pm

Well I sent him this as a reply, not too brilliant I was tired and just wanted to frustrate him some more. Smile

Quote:

Dear Uncle Frank,

I do understand your situation. It's okay, relax yourself. I know that you aren't feeling well in your head. The medication will wear off soon. Dr. Martens should send me the sheet with the list of your medications that he prescribed for you on there. Have him contact me immediately at this email address. If I don't get the list of medications from Dr. Martens along with his signature, I cannot by law send you the $3,550 for the new doctor to come and care for you.

I'm happy to see that you want me to send the two BMW's there ahead of time for Mike and Ike. By the way are their anuses feeling any better? I sure hope so. I have to ask you though, why did you only ask me to send one of the BMW's instead of both of them? Never mind, I guess you're just feeling tired and excited about my coming visit.

Like I said, please get Dr. Martens to email me with a list of your medications along with his signature at the bottom of the sheet, and then I can forward you the money for the new doctor. If I send the money for the new doctor without getting the sheet of medications, I can go to jail for a long, long time, and we don't want that now do we? Please send this to me quickly, I'm still worried about you and I want that new doctor to look at you. I've always felt that Dr. Martens was a quack anyways. God bless you and take care.

Love,
your nephew Joe

Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:14 pm

I get this in a reply. He's pretty much frustrated and has just about twigged.

Quote:

Dear Brother Joe,

It not hearing from Dr. Martens will not make you save my life I think it is better to forget about me life is very important I have told you I have a new doctor so kindly beleive me I don't like insultive just because of money.

Thanks

Uncle Frank.

Trying to be sly, he send me this 5 minutes later. Notice the last line he's added to the original letter. Wink

Quote:

Dear Brother Joe,

It not hearing from Dr. Martens will not make you save my life I think it is better to forget about me life is very important I have told you I have a new doctor so kindly beleive me I don't like insultive just because of money. Dr. Martens travel out of the country at the moment he can't be able to write you or send anything now lets see if you will keep silent till he come's back.

Thanks

Uncle Frank.

Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:19 pm

Usually I'd just write him a quick note saying, that's fine, no letter from Dr. Martens no money, but I'm already getting bored with this so I decide to end it.

Quote:

Dear Uncle Frank,

I think you've lost it completely now. I think the drugs that you've been taking have sent you completely over the fucking edge. You're lying to me about Dr. Martens travelling out of the country, you know how I know that uncle Frank? I talked to him today on the phone at his office in Peterborough, that's how. He told me that your mental state is near collapse due to illegal drug use and that you want my money only because you want to buy more and more illegal drugs. I thought something was fishy about all of this, I mean why would you not want Dr. Martens to write to me? Now I know the reason: you knew that he would tell me the truth.

You just sent me a letter twice in the last five minutes; the first one without the lie about Dr. Martens and in the second one you added the last line about Dr. Martens being out of the country.You thought you were being all sly and tricky. You know what uncle Frank? You're a fucking liar, a complete shitbagged mugu liar. I disown you as my uncle. I can think of 419 million reasons why I should never talk to you again. As for the $20,500 I was going to give you for the down payment on your retirement house I'm going to blow it on myself. Asshole.

Oh and another thing, I'll be flying out to Peterborough to collect Mike and Ike and you'll never ever see them again. You'll die cold, and penniless and lonely in an alleyway holding a crackpipe in your hand. I hope that your toe falls off and you rot in hell.

Oh and Dr. Martens doesn't want to ever talk to you again and doesn't want you as a patient, don't believe me? Go to his website and see for yourself. http://www.drmartens.com/ You're the laughingstock of your town now.

Go fuck yourself,
Joe

Oh well, short and sweet I guess. If he replies to that he's dumber than he sounds. Smile

Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2004 11:12 pm

Never underestimate the idiocy of a lad. Here's Uncle Franks letter 4 days after I insulted him in the letter above. I'm going to have to think up a good reply now. Smile

Quote:

Dear SIR,

I hope fine?? since my last mail i never hear from you i am still waiting to hear from from you so that we can further please reply I me i am in need to hear from you.

Thanks and a hope to hear from you.

Yours

UNCLE FRANK

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 12:01 am

unbelievable! What a dumbass. My guess is that he is sending so much dirt onto the internet and thus loses track of what he has said before. If this guy is realy as brainless as he appears to be, I pitty him. NOT!

Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 10:37 am

I truly beautiful ASEM. Poor Joe, it's hard when a relative falls under evil influences "419 million reasons" indeed!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 21 Sep 2006 Posts: 1

I think you are right.....this man has been v busy...he's been spamming the forums, registering and then PM the members he did two 'gardening' forums that i know of under the name of one Frank Dikko same region Very Happy

.....gardening for god's sake I ask you has the man no dignity!

would love if you nailed this idiot!

Western Union · Posted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 1:30 pm

This thread is two years old. Please do not necro old threads.

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