3 TWAT quotes:

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Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 7:47 am

These quotes were all from e-mails over the last couple days. I hope there will be a lot more to say about him later, but I just think they're too funny not to share in the meantime:

Quote:

I really apprecite speaking with the head of Twat Rev Williams, it shows the church has intrest in me and also having the mind of having a TWAT raise up in Nigeria.

Quote:

Hopefully by the specail grace of God by next week , we shall commence immedaite arrangement, please my dear brother, i have left my job just because of becoming a member, to enable me focus my attention in making Twat grow in Nigeria.

Quote:

My great regards goes to Head Rev Williams do extend my greetings to him,do bear in mind i am not teaching again in the private school, really wants to devote time for TWAT, so will always depend on TWAT to keep body and soul together, hope you understand want i mean.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:11 am

@Prof - I see your efforts of instilling proper dedication to TWAT have been most fruitful. Keep up the great work you are doing for the church. Laughing

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:14 am

Quote:

i have left my job just because of becoming a member

So he is no longer sitting on his fat ass in an internet cafe Thumbs up

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 12:24 pm

Quote:

I see your efforts of instilling proper dedication to TWAT have been most fruitful.

Actually, jojo has done the lion's share of baiting on this guy so far. I was just going through the TWAT church box and felt like you people might laugh like I did.

Master Baiter Joined: 22 Dec 2005 Posts: 211

Out of curiosity, how many lad addresses are you mailing the TWAT proposal out to at a time? How many responses do you get back from all those? And how many of those mugus who respond go onto the next step (ie. filling in the TWAT form and returning it back to you)?

It seems like most lazy ass lads don't write back after seeing the form!

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 2:08 pm

^^ I think it was 500 lads a day at the ASEM stage. If you'd like to know the finer points of organization and more detailed info about percentages, that is available. I think out of the thousands of e-mails that went out last round, we had the safari to Abeche that is ongoing, and have this guy who is moving through the process nicely. Outside of them, we have maybe 5-6 form submissions, and a couple lads that seemed like they might actually be worthwhile fell off the map. We currently maybe have 5 that are active (outside of the safari guys) in that TWAT acct. PM if you'd like more info.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

A good TWAT is hard to find....

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 5:15 pm

Professor wrote:

500 lads a day at the ASEM stage.

That just goes to show how rare a bait like the 'wicked safari' really is. Jojo, YW and the Professor make it look so easy, but they put a ton of hard work into it. We all strive to do epic baits but it takes a lot of patience and effort, as well as a lot of cleverness, to pull off a really classic bait.

So for all the n00bs out there, don't be discouraged if your baits aren't all 1,600 mile safaris! Very Happy

And kudos once again to the Abeche team, it was worth the thousands of ASEMs to find those lads!

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 5:22 pm

And after you send out 500+ ASEMs, you will get several dozen replies that all need to be handled. Fortunately, we have a series of scripts that we follow in order that makes everything quite easy. After the first 2 pyramid building TWATs that Big Worm and I messed with, we refined the scripts to a point where TWAT nearly runs itself. But it took a lot of trial and error to perfect those scripts. Big Worm, even though he is rarely around anymore, deserves a lot of the credit for the success of TWAT as well as credit for the Abeche safari.

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:08 pm

Professor So And So wrote:

I think out of the thousands of e-mails that went out last round, we had the safari to Abeche that is ongoing, and have this guy who is moving through the process nicely.

Just to clarify, the Chad TWAT was not from the ASEM group we sent out. Baiter freddyfudpucker worked on him and gave him over to us.

I probably sent out around 3,000 emails. Of those emails, we probably got 50 responses. Of those, many were their scripts. Maybe 25 of those act interested. Most of those want money up front. So, out of all of those emails, we have 4 that filled out the forms (not including Adamu, because freddy got the forms filled out before passing him to us). Two are in the process of building pyramids. One disappeared off the map after I told him about the pyramids. The other filled out the forms but I don't think he is a lad, so he has been dropped.

Juan makes a good point. We rarely post about how many people send us curses back after our ASEMs. There is a LOT of work that goes on here. And as I said, freddy did a lot of the legwork up front. You really have to sift through the crap. These safaris don't just turn up over night.

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 5:47 pm

This was just another little nugget from the same lad:

Quote:

Attn: Rev Benjamin Dover,
Thanks for your mail, we ae comencing all arrangement by wednesday as i told you this week, and we hope to finish up once we commence on the project.
Only thing is that we are out of cash but sure of starting on wednesday as i said.
I hope TWAT is ready to fulfill the promise on funding TWAT down here as they promise to do to enable us commence the spreading of the TWAT telling people what Twat has do for his people.
Hope to hear from you.
Regards,

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:31 pm

Quote:

Baiter freddyfudpucker worked on him and gave him over to us.

Sorry, I keep forgetting that. With all of these TWATS, it's hard to keep track of who had which first. This TWAT was certainly nice and warmed up when he came our way, and freddy deserves a lot of credit for that. So many TWATs, so little time.

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:22 am

Hey, just a suggestion, isn't it time to develop some TWAT hymns? There's bound to be some poetic/songwriting genius on this board who would be able to create some appropriate lyrics to be set to existing hymn music.

I'm sure that some of the lads would be up for performing them. It could be another way of showing their devotion. To assist their missionary work they could walk through the streets singing these hymns (a bit like the Hare Krishnas do).

419Eater is my life Joined: 21 Nov 2005 Posts: 264

harrya wrote:

So he is no longer sitting on his fat ass in an internet cafe

No, he's sitting on his not-so-fat penniless ass on a street corner in Chad with someone he owes $1,000 to breathing down the back of his neck. He's so screwed. Laughing

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:39 am

^^ This is a different lad than stinky. At this point, he can only aspire to one day exist in such an absolute disastrous set of circumstances.

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:22 pm

With YWs permission, I too had the chance of spreading TWAT Laughing

& managed to get one of my Morris lads to fill out the forms, but the lazy twat wouldn't build a pyramid Evil or Very Mad

Anyhow-

Quote:

Pls fell free to send me all the necessary book which is going to help learn about TWAT quickly.

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:25 pm

Hahahaha! They never want to build a pyramid for some reason. That's just standard procedure for American churches.