Dang, I think I lost my job

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Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:40 am

Here is the original email if y'all want to have a go. Enjoy!:

[edited to provide his NEW email addy: [email protected]]

from John Kennedy <[email protected]>

Dear Sir/ Madam,

Would you like to work online from home and get paid weekly?Premium Royal Textile Limited(Textiles Manufacturing company) in UK,we needs a book-keeper in the states that can work online from home and get paid weekly without leaving or affecting your present job?.

We are a well-established organization and in need of a permanent or temporal individual to occupy the position of Funds Processing Manager, able to receive and send payments between our partners' clients and our company.

This part-time job does not require any special skills. You do not have to spend much time to earn sufficient money to be added to your main salary.

Every payment will be accompanied by detailed instruction. This is in view of our not having an office presently in the United States/Canada. You do not need to have an Office and this certainly will not disturb any form of work you have at present.

*** REQUIREMENTS ***

- Honesty, Responsibility and Promptness in operations;
- PC with Internet and e-mail access;
- We do not work with persons under 18
- Postal or Mailing address. (Office or home)

YOUR ROLES ARE:

1. Receiving payment from our Customers
2. Cash Payments at your Bank
3. Deduct 10%, which will be your percentage
4. Forward balance after deduction of percentage/pay to any of the offices you will be instructed to send payment to.

Instructions on how to remit the company's balance 90%, minus your 10% as commission for your services, will be emailed of faxed to you. We understand it is an unusual and incredible job position.

This job takes only 2-4 hours per week. You will have a lot of free time doing your permanent job, but this job is very challenging and you should understand it.

We are looking only for the worker who satisfies our requirements and will be a Co-operative assistant. We are glad to offer this job position to you if you are capable and fit to carry out the tasks stated above, and you want to work with us diligently.

Please for correction and certainty we require you fill out the requirements below again, this will justbe done only at this time.

------------------------------------------------------------

REQUIREMENTS:

Names in full:
Address:
State:
City:
Postcode:
Occupation:
AGE:
SEX:
Marital status:
Telephone:
Fax:
Mobile:
Email:

I wait to hear back from you ASAP.

Sincerely,

John Kennedy.

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:47 am

Slootie, why is this letter posted here? How does it pertain to this thread?

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:49 am

@Donato, okay, you asked for it.

After he accused me of sending him a virus, I denied knowledge of computer viruses and told him it was impossible for a computer to transmit a virus to another computer. (All my characters are impossibly stupid.)

Quote:

How in the world can a computer have contact with another computer to spread a sickness? Shaking hands? YOU IDIOT!

YOU get a life and stop emailing me, small boy.

Love,
Martha

Quote:

I AM GOING TO SHOVE MY DOGS BIG D**K IN YOUR A** AND PUT IT BACK IN YOUR M***H B****H BECAUSE THAT IS ALL YOU ARE GOOD FOR.
DUMB B***H.YOU DONT KNOW COMPUTERS GET THEIR VIRUS.THAT IS WHY YOU CANNOT GET A JOB BECAUSE YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DUMB.
YOU BETTER ASK YOUR SISTER WHAT COMPUTER VIRUS MEANS.I HOPE SHE IS NOT DUMB LIKE YOU ALSO.
NASTY FACE W****E.YOU REALLY SMELL LIKE S**T.

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:50 am

Quote:

Post the mass bait here, Slootie.

Uh. When I asked should I post it here, this is what I took for the reply.

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:29 am

My point was that you know what it is posted here for, but people who read it that haven't followed this thread won't. Please edit your post to reflect the reason the letter is posted. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:33 am

Quote:

PUT IT BACK IN YOUR M***H B****H

I'm not sure what's been censored there, but I'm not sure I want to! Good work Slootie!

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:49 pm

Nope, ya don't wanna know!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

My characters are never crude or profane. So I think I must have touched a very raw nerve when I called him a "crook" and "small boy."

I had fun with "good lad/bad lad." I treated one with the utmost respect and I treated the other with disdain. Fun! Laughing

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:49 pm

Well, they thought it over and decided if I want to keep my job, I have to PAY THEM $1,050. HAHAHAHA!!! So, I responded thusly:

Dear Mr. Kennedy:

Great news!! I believe I have found the PERFECT solution.

When I met with my brother last night to scan my drivers license, I told him you needed $1050 for me to continue to work for you and he said he would loan me the $1050 and I can pay him back $50 per month.

All I really needed to pay off my credit cards was $876.43. So now I have extra and I don't need to work for you any more.

Thank you for the opportunity you have given me; you have been so kind to me. Please consider hiring me again when you get another client because I have other bills to pay off and I really need the money.

Thanks again.

Yours truly,
Martha

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 5:35 pm

FYI: They just accepted my new character, Annie Oakley. Cool

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:30 pm

After reading this, I sent John Kennedy an "I'm interested in your job offer" email. He responded within a few minutes. He was eager to put me to work. He asked for some personal information but before I sent it back he sent another email asking me to contact the customer.

Quote:

blah, blah, make sure you state my name and company (Mr. John Kennedy / Premium Royal Textile Limited) for reference purpose and make him aware of whom you are representing.
The customer you are to contact is Mr. Robert Criner, blah, blah, blah.

Being the devoted employee that I am, I did as instructed and contacted Mr. Criner.

Quote:

Mr. Robert Criner,
I would like to introduce myself. I am Brandon Cattell and I represent Premium royal Textile Limited in conjunction with Mr. John Kennedy.
I will be your payment representative and look forward to working with you.
You may send payments for Premium Royal Textile Limited to the following address blah, blah, blah.

I received the following:

Quote:

Please i am not interested in your business

and:

Quote:

I DO NOT WANT TO RECEIVE ANY MORE EMAIL FROM YOU. AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR FRAUDULENT ACTIVITIES.

It seems that Mr. Criner has a short fuse. Laughing

who knew?

Let's see what happens. Wink

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:06 pm

I told ya, Mr. Cr!ner, or Mr. Cringer as I addressed him, has a VERY SHORT fuse.

If you get a chance to call him a "small boy", he will do nifty tricks for you.

Whadda pair of numpties. Did I say that right?

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:44 pm

mugu wrote:

I DO NOT WANT TO RECEIVE ANY MORE EMAIL FROM YOU. AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR FRAUDULENT ACTIVITIES.

As opposed to his own fraudulent activities?

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 7:52 pm

Which part of your email made him angry? Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 5:51 pm

OK, he's replied. Good. I'll straight bait him for now, and it'll go off script once I get the first check. After the second check, it'll go further off script.

I've been getting a lot of checks with mis-spelled names on them. Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:25 pm

Since Robert Criner was such a hothead, they assigned me to a different customer. I sent the same mail to him.

They're looking for bank accounts to flash.

My new customer wrote:

Thanks alot for your quick response.meanwhile,you need to forward our office a scan copy of casher cheque from your bank for the sum of $100,00 usd to enables us be sure as a secure deposit from your bank so that your payment can be send as soon as possible.just the scan copy.you can go back to your bank.and have it cash back ok.waiting for your response

mr.charis moore.

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:29 pm

Well, it seems Mr. Criner is raking in the $$$ according to this charming email my character received today from Mr. Kennedy:

Quote:

Hey Retard.

Hope you still taking your medications, please do so,and not go eating your kids or your brother. Mr Criner says hi.

Oh, he has paid to the other representative, and i offered him 10% in happiness and grace it was not you.

Somebody is lying...it could be my sad, discarded pet, Mr. Kennedy or whatever he's calling himself now (see my siggy).

How do I respond to this unexpected email??? I thought we were done, but he still wants to play. Laughing

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:43 pm

^^^I've been playing with them this afternoon. They think that Music Man and me are the same person. We gave them the same address and they busted us. When I used the old "he's my room mate" line, the named a couple of other baiters that used the same address and asked how many of us live there.

They may think you are just another incarnation of me because that response is in line with what I've been getting for the last 2 hours. Laughing

Looks like it's time to hit them from a different character.

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:49 pm

Oh, it was YOU (and all your peoples that live in your head) that prompted that reply. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Okay, well alrighty then. Good work!

But how do I respond to that Retard calling my character a Retard. Twisted Evil

What should I do? I can't let that go....lemme at 'im!!! Laughing

Oh, that Retard just hired 3 of my other characters. We haven't got to the "meet the client" part yet.

Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:20 am

Here is a little sample of the stuff I got earlier today. Laughing

Robert Criner wrote:

I have done a background check on Brandon and i also spoke to him.this is not Brandon.you are the same person that uses other peoples name to do fraud.because your address has been tagged for that kind of business
So you also go by the name (snipped Music Mans character's name) right and many other names you use in your fraudulent business.
Meanwhile,if you are not the person doing all that shady business,its definately somebody you know because its the same address an that homw will be busted soon.

Then later:

The same dumbass wrote:

Asshole.you do not have a drivers license fool gay cock sucker

and finally:

Quote:

I have told you earlier that i am not interested in your fraudulent activities.so please go get a job and stop sending emails to people claiming to be who you are NOT.
JAIL WILL BE YOUR NEXT HOME
You and Kennedy are trying to steal from me.i do not want to be part of your business.is it by force????????????????
LEAVE ME ALONE

These poor idiots are more jittery than a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs. Laughing

Well, the good news is that Valerie Bertenernie just wrote them asking about their job offer. Laughing

Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:50 am

Criner is a Canadian mule that I have cruelly tormented several times. I'm not surprised that he recognizes our apartment. He seems to be working for several lads as I've seen his name come up at least a dozen times in my check baiting.

Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 4:15 am

^^I had the feeling he was a mule.

Are you Penelope?

Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 7:26 am

Hi guys, just got here from the surplus letter forum. got one char in "Betty Sw@lls" early days yet, still sodding around with junk/ID files etc.

This might be of interest to some...I didn't read the spec letter properly, so applied with a UK address, and that has been accepted.

Not sure if our employer is just so dumb he cant tell the difference between a USA and UK address, or if it really doesn't matter.

Just made contact with the client, his name is Mr. L3vi Franc0 C@rv@lli he doesn't say much, just one line Emails... maybe he needs a little encouragement Laughing

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:16 pm

FYI: Mr. Kennedy just changed his email address on 2 of my characters. The change: he just left off one "n" changing the kennedy to kenedy. I think he's keeping only one of my characters in the game and dumping the others - with no explanation at all, the rude little booger.

Also, I got a positive response from R0bert Cr!ner (who I thought had dropped out of the biz) after sending him an "introduction" email from a different character (that had never applied for the job in the first place).

Anybody still messing around with these lads? I hope...

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:26 pm

I had mail to John bounce this morning. However by this afternoon he got back to me. He acted surprised when I told him his mail bounced. Laughing

Just more proof that killing a scammers free email account doesn't even slow them down.

I'm on him with two characters, however Criner doesn't want anything to do with me. Laughing

coward.

Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:02 am

I just got this from the boss:

Quote:

I do not know why the emails are bouncing back, but so far i have received your emails today and have replied, just like i am doing again.

Find the contract agreement form attached in this email. Sign and return as soon as possible.

Thank You.

What do you do about that dang contract? I've been telling him there is nothing attached. I don't wanna fill out no stinkin' form!!! Evil or Very Mad

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