Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

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Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:40 pm

HAHAHAHAHAH! Yeah, the water in my shower is just too darned refreshing. It's either muscle relaxing hot, or thirst quenchingly cold. And, since I am neither sore or thirsty, where is the happy medium?

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:43 pm

...and you left your new Macbook Air, your Rolex, and your Nike Air Force Ones in your locker at the gym. Damn I hate when I do that!

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

And when you walk down the street in your Reverend garb people keep trying to stop you and give you donations. Can't a guy walk a block without somebody throwing money at him?

Finally, the Western Union Office by the church is closed for repairs. As part of the repairs they are tearing up the sidewalk, forcing you cross the street and go around the repairs.

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:51 pm

Jayhawk wrote:

The waiter at lunch served you Wrotham Pinot Sparkling Wine with your roasted chicken, loaded baked potato and veggies. Any idiot knows that a Sparkling Wine doesn't go with chicken. He should have brought you the Sauvignon like you requested. Idiot Waiter.

I love this one. We MUST use this one.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 27 Feb 2008 Posts: 7

I've been following this with "baited" breath, awesome, i can but dream! Well done peeps. Very Happy

Elite Baiter Joined: 03 Jan 2006 Posts: 1455

This just gets better and better. I can't wait for the next dramatic twist in the plot!

I don't think there has even been a bait where we have had such fantastic access to someone that could be set against the lads at will when they are so vulnerable.

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:14 pm

And all along the lad has remained convinced that he is playing the reverend like a fiddle.

This chop is going to be devastating.

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:50 pm

Man, I can't believe I missed all of this (especially this morning's chat). I ended up drinking entirely too much last night and deciding not to drive home. It was rough. The worst part about it was that last night, in every drink I had, the damn ice was too cold!

What a great series of events to come home to. Very funny suggestions, everyone.

This guy is in the biggest shitstorm I've ever seen anyone in. Good thing he brought a friend!

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:04 pm

Wont't you try to send him a bit into my direction. I'm exactly north of Darfur (no joke).

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 10:51 am

If the following e-mail doesn't make you laugh out loud, then we would never have fun hanging out. This is pure poetry to me:

Stink-Fest wrote:

I AM BEGGING YOU IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST, I AND MY BROTHER ARE STILL WAITING YOU IN ABECHE IN THE ONLY CYBER CAFE ALONG HOSPITAL ROAD.
WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU WE HERE REV BENJAMIN IS VERY WORRID ABOUT US PLEASE COME AND PICK US WE ARE STILL HERE SINCE THE DRIVER IS NOT HAPPY ABOUT US SINCE MONDAY WE CAME HERE PLEASE COME SO THAT WE WILL BE FREE FROM HIS HAND PLEASE.
THANK YOU I AM WAITING

I'd put some of it in bold if there was a reason. It all belongs in bold. no?

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:28 am

I am guessing that he did not read him email. Dover thinks that Adaum and his brother have been picked up, given the $200K, and been flown back to Nigeria (because the is what Eric and Hamdan told Dover). If the idiot would have read his email carefully, he would have seen that and been in an even bigger panic right now. Stupid lad.

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:37 am

^^ Yeah, a total retard. Readnotify confirmed that the e-mail telling him they were collected and sent to Nigeria has been read. They don't notice some pretty crazy stuff. Like when we send e-mails addressed to our own characters because we forget who is who.

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 12:36 pm

I hope the malnutrition and temperatures don't have anything to do with this .. or the driver breathing in their necks constantly .. neh, probably not ..

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 12:45 pm

You know maybe they did read the email. Maybe they only had enough money to do a quick email download and an upload of their message to you and now they are offline, reading the horrible news Smile

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 1:09 pm

He read it alright...

Quote:

DEAR REV BENJAMIN,
PLEASE REV DOVER,I AM SURPRISE TO HEAR WHAT YOU SAY THAT I HAVE COLLECTED 200,000DOLLARS AND I AM ON MY WAY BACK TO NIGERIA.
PLEASE REV BENJAMIN DOVER SAVE ME FROM THIS ABECHE I HAVE NEVER SEE HAMDAN AND ERIC SINCE I COME HERE IN ABECHE TILL NOW YESTERDAY THEY SAY THAT THEY WILL COME FROM 9AM TO PICK ME UPTILL NOW THEY HAVE NOT SHOW UP I DONT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING MY LIFE IS IN DANGER HERE IN ABECHE.PLEASE REV DOVER,FOR GOD SAKE SAVE MY LIFE AND MY FAMILY YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN IN CHAD FOR ONE MONTH NOW WITHOUT SEEING HAMDAN AND ERIC AND THEY ASK US TO COME ABECHE WITH A HIRED VEHICLE WHICH DID AND NOW MY LIFE IS IN DANGER I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO PLEASE REV DOVER, TELL HAMDAN AND ERIC TO COME PICK ME IN A CYBER CAFE ALONG HOSPITAL ROAD IT IS THE CAFE HERE IN ABECHE PLEASE.
PLEASE REMEBER THAT I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE WU THAT IS BLOCK BY MICHAEL TURNER IN USA IT WAS TWAT ACCOUNT THAT IT WAS PAID AND MICHAEL TURNER IS THE SENDER HIS PHONE NUMBER IS 20620XXXX PLEASE REV DOVER, YOU CAN CALL HIM NOW TO RELEASE THE WU SO THAT I CAN PAY THE DRIVER AND BEING SAVE FROM HIS HAND PLEASE.
THIS MAIL IS SAVE MY SOUL PLEASE I KNOW YOU WILL DO IT FOR GOD SAKE.
PLEASE MEMBERS OF THE TWAT IN NIGERIA ARE WORRIED OVER ME NOW PLEASE DO SOMETHING URGENT PLEASE SO THAT I CAN GO BACK TO NIGERIA.
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU AMEN
ADAMU

Quote:

DEAR REV DOVER,
PLEASE REV BENJAMIN, THEY HAVE NOT SHOW UP PLEASE CALL THEM BECAUSE MY LIFE IS IN GREAT DANGER HERE BECAUSE THE DRIVER THAT BROUGHT US HERE HAVE NOT BEEN PAY AND HE IS TREATING OUR LIFE BECAUSE ERIC TOLD US TO SHOW HIM THE TRACKING NUMBER OF THE WU AND WE DO THAT AND HE ACCEPT TO CARRY US TO ABECHE NOW REACHING HERE THE WU IS BLOCK WE ASK THE WU MANAGER HE SAY THAT IT IS< BLOCK MY THE SENDER THAT IS MICHAEL TURNER PLEASE REV CALL MICHAEL TURNER TO OPEN IT.
SO THAT WE CAN PAY THE DRIVER PLEASE HIS NUMBER IS 20620XXXX PLEASE CALL HIM NOW.
I AM STILL HERE IN ABECHE WITHOUT SEEING HAMDAN AND ERIC PLEASE TELL THEM TO COME AND CARRY ME AM STILL IN THE CAFE ALONG HOSPITAL ABECHE PLEASE SAVE MY LIFE PLEASE.
THANK YOU
ADAMU

Quote:

DEAR REV BENJAMIN,
I AM GREETING YOU IN THE NAME OF ALMIGHTY GOD AND OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST.
YOUR SECOND MAIL MAKE ME TO BE SURPRISE THAT I HAVE LEFT ABECHE TO NIGERIA I AM NOT WITH MYSELF SINCE I READ YOUR MAIL.
YESTERDAY I SENT THREE EMAIL TO HAMDAN AND ERIC BUT THEY HAVE NOT COME TO PICK ME OR TO REPLY MY EMAIL UPTILL NOW THERE IS TENSION ALL OVER MY BODY BECAUSE OF THE DRIVER THREATING ME OF HIS MONEY.
PLEASE REV BENJAMIN, I AM BEGGING YOU PERSONAL TO DO THIS THING FOR ME FOR THE SAKE OF TWAT CHURCH AS A FATHER AND ALSO PERSONAL SACRIFIED TO SAVE ME FROM THE DRIVER HAND BECAUSE HE IS INCREASE HIS MONEY EVERYDAY. I AND MY BROTHER HAVE BEEN WITH HIM NOW FOR FIVE DAYS IN ABECHE PLEASE REV DOVER,DO ME FAVOUR PLEASE TO SEND ME THE DRIVER MONEY SO THAT I AND MY BROTHER WILL BE FREE .YOU CAN USE THIS NAME TO SEND IT PLEASE REV BENJAMIN.
NAME: EMMANUEL .A. EZEJI
ADDRESS:ABECHE TCHAD
QUESTION:WHAT FOR
ANSWER: TRANSPORT
AS SOON AS YOU SEND IT SEND ME THE CONTROL NUMBER FOR EASY COLLECTION.
PLEASE REV BENJAMIN DOVER, DO THIS TO SAVE ME AND MY BROTHER FROM THE DRIVER HAND AND I WILL STILL STILL WAIT FOR HAMDAN AND ERIC TO COME AND PICK ME .PLESA REV CALL ERIC AND HAMDAN TO COME AND PICK ME AND MY BROTHER IN THE ONLY CYBER CAFE ALONG HOSPITAL ROAD IN ABECHE.
THANK YOU AND ALMIGHTY GOD WILL CONTINUE BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AMEN.
ADAMU

These are some of the funniest emails I have ever seen.

EDIT:

Quote:

DEAR HAMDAN/ERIC,
I AM BEGGING YOU IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST, I AND MY BROTHER ARE STILL WAITING YOU IN ABECHE IN THE ONLY CYBER CAFE ALONG HOSPITAL ROAD.
WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU WE HERE REV BENJAMIN IS VERY WORRID ABOUT US PLEASE COME AND PICK US WE ARE STILL HERE SINCE THE DRIVER IS NOT HAPPY ABOUT US SINCE MONDAY WE CAME HERE PLEASE COME SO THAT WE WILL BE FREE FROM HIS HAND PLEASE.
THANK YOU I AM WAITING
ADAMU

Does anyone think that there is more than one cafe in Abeche now?

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 1:12 pm

Quote:

PLEASE MEMBERS OF THE TWAT IN NIGERIA ARE WORRIED OVER ME

If this doesn't appear in someone's signature soon, I will be disappointed.

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 1:21 pm

He must be about ready to kill himself at this moment (if the driver has not done it for him already). Adamu is neck deep in shit right now. This is just too good for words.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 09 Apr 2008 Posts: 18

Slap him for whining. Tell him to escape the evil driver and go to the police and tell them that you are a member of TWAT and you demand asylum.

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 1:23 pm

My sides hurt from laughing. He's one day short of having Sally Struthers behind him talking about the price of a cup of coffee per day. Well, maybe two days, but you know she's not far behind.

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 1:25 pm

Wow they are really up shits creek. I cant see any way out for them.
Kudos guys.

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 1:25 pm

Considering where they are, the driver doesn't even need to lift a hand. Sounds like he can can just treaten to leave them stredded in Abeche and they're as good as dead.

You people are absolutely despicable. Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 1:39 pm

Well, their choices are limited. Hmmm...

[1] Keep begging. Poor returns and the driver doesn't seem to be that patient!

[2] Find a job [all right, stop laughing...] Unlikely in the extreme - and the driver is still a problem.

[3] Resort to crime. High-risk - and does Sharia law obtain in Chad?

OK, new topic; what movie could be the motif for this bait? I'm inclined towards either:

- Planes, Trains and Automobiles (amended to Planes, TWATS and Automobiles).

- Sahara (amended to (simply) Safari). I have a fondness for this one as the original movie plot effectively began in Lagos (if you exclude the prologue).

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Tell him you're not aware of any cyber cafe on Hospital Road in Lagos....surely he's mistaken about the address. And why would he need you to come pick him up in Nigeria???

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 3:03 pm

Guys, this is just brilliant

Man the mugus are stupid... I almost feel sorry for this poor bastard but maybe laughing my ass off is a better thing to do LOL_sign

Practically this mugu is already dead, there's no way that he's going to make it back to Nigeria Twisted Evil

The driver will kill him or leave him "streded" in Abeche. Neither one is a good option for the TWAT Laughing

I'll keep following this in awe, wondering how the hell you managed to convince this idiot to take the trip in the first place Shocked

I hope to be able to do this myself one day Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 3:17 pm

Okay, so here is the plan...

Dover is not checking his email today, for whatever reason. So, as far as Dover knows, Hamdan and Eric are still on their way to Nigeria with Adamu and friends. Well, Eric and Hamdan thought that it would be fun to play a little joke on Adamu. They sent him yet another WU Secure transfer. The only thing, is that it is in Arabic. That causes a slight problem, since they cannot read Arabic. I'm sure the WU workers can though. Laughing

Now, I don't know Arabic myself. But the best I can do is this for a translation:

Quote:

This is a fake. I am a criminal. Please arrest me. I am a scammer. This is completely fake. I hate Mohammed. I love Israel. Allah sucks big goat penis and Mecca is a hell hole. I love George Bush. He is the best president ever. I think he should invade Chad and remove this ugly country off the map. Mohammed is a demonic pedophile. I hate Muslims. I hate Chad. I hate this country and its people. I have sex with goats. I hope the United States takes over the whole world and makes everyone Americans. Please arrest me lest I scam someone else. I will steal everything. I am about to rob this place.

This is a really rough translation. But, even if they only get a couple of the words from it, that should turn some heads. Laughing

Dover isn't going to email them until he gets word that they have tried to cash that WU receipt. Then, he is going to send the whiny email to him.

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