Another GOAT

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Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 8:10 am

Hee!

He's really angry with me as well. I'm getting single-line all-caps emails. Which, of course, means that I have been graciously handed the opportunity to slap him.

His last one was:

Quote:

SO EASY TO MAKE PAYMENT WITHOUT PRICE?

THANKS

PASTOR BALLAS

Of course I reminded him that the first thing he did was tell me the price, and he'd better start acting like a professional.

I may have to have my secretary phone him. She can be a real harridan.

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 10:59 am

The pastor thinks I messed up the payment. He's getting so boring all I do is slap him hard and noobishly with haiku-fu, but he keeps coming back for more.

Quote:

You dirty thief goat
I sent you my cash money
You send me nothing

You are no pastor
You are the devil himself
I will pray for you

Holy ghost - fire!
I pray: Holy Ghost - fire!
Holy ghost- fire!

Quote:

DID YOU PAY ANY MONEY? SEARCH YOUR MIND IF YOU MADE ANY PAYMENT, BECAUSE I DID NOT RECEIVE ANY MONEY FROM YOU IS THAT CLEAR. WHY NOT GO TO YOUR BANK AND VERIFY IF THERE WAS ANY TRANSFER TO THE ACCOUNT I GAVE.

PASTOR BALLAS

EZTrack sez: Failed host country security checks. Time to try Moneygram I guess. Crying or Very sad

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 11:14 am

doc holliday wrote:

For some reason,I begin to find Pastor Balless tiresome...

Join the club.

He isn't getting any satisfaction as The Rolling Stones would say. He isn't responding to my two characters anymore. He is just one lazy and frustrated lad and not far up the food chain in my opinion. I can't be arsed now to send him reminders about unanswered orders. He barely types more than two lines when he does reply. Maybe he is on limited internet time and trying to maximize his potential income of zero. Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:00 pm

P@stor B@ll@s is very frustrated, so I took the frustrated route with my character and got this back:

Quote:

We never ignored you ok, we are still waiting for the payment to have your animals shipped.

When you are ready to have your animals send the money.

indicate your telephone number to reach you

Thanks

P@stor B@ll@s

He is back on the phone number thing with me. This guy never comes up with something new. Does anyone else here think he is about 14 and being shown the 419 ropes by his uncle who jumps in every once in a while?

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:30 pm

Well, I found that he was receptive to slapping. When I slapped him, I got this back:

Quote:

I'm sorry ok, please send your full name and address to prepare the invoice.

Thanks

Pastor B4llas

I get the impression that he's not only terribly lazy, but that he sent this off thinking it was a great idea, and now he's thinking, wait, it's not as much money as these trunk box guys are getting, and it's turning out to be more work than I thought.

It's hard to have sympathy for someone who turns to a life of crime and then even THAT is too much work.

I'm actually less frustrated with him than I am with my trunk box orphan. He has got to be the stupidest person on the planet. It takes him three emails, minimum, to even put a sentence together that explains what it is that he's asking for. He's so stupid it's not even fun. The only reason I haven't dropped him is that I'm a safari whore and he's volunteered to go to Liberia.

Yes, I am that sad.

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 1:35 pm

<br> Just found this over at 419baiter.com, from 15 March this year. No email addy but same phone number. He certainly is diversified....

Quote:

Dear Sir,

I have the pleasure and honour to introduce and give ample
explanation on what is important but beneficial to you and I.

I am representing a Cooperative Small Scale Miners Association here
in the West African region, where the largest Gold deposit on the
continent is found.
Meanwhile, having in possession a quantity of 22 (+) carat Gold of
about 250kg to dispose off in this last quarter of the year as the
results of wages accumulated arrears of our numerous labourers who have
vowed to stop productions if, the elders fail to honour the payment before
end of the year. The elders therefore, have taken these bold steps to
sell off the products to sustain the industry and re-equip the manial
way of mining with modern machineries from the total sales to accrued.

A collective decision had been concluded by the committee of elders
to reward reasonably, anyone who come to rescue the situation by
assisting the sales of the products abroad and also helps acquire the
requisite equipments to revamp and enhance the industry and production by not
less than 18% of the total sales. And it�s even applied to the direct
buyer if intrested.

Honurably, we would be much grateful to execute this transactions
with your set up which would not stop here but continually, in every 2-3
months of the years ahead.

Knowing, this my offer would meet your distinguished personality,
position and cooperate to strike this precious deal urgently.

For more information contact without hesitation +229 93 92 38 94.
Thanks.

Your Sincerely,

BALLAS WALAS.

[Edited to add] Here is an Eater link with his addy details in Surplus...

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1087447

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:31 pm

He's now telling me he is tired of me insulting him (the very idea! I am the soul of graciousness) and is demanding another phone call tonight, after which he promises to send me an invoice immediately.

If any male UK person would like to make this call for me, I would be eternally grateful, as I don't have a male voice (fancy that).

However, I'm pretty sure this is basically over anyway. He seems to just be disgusted with the whole thing and ready to quit, which means we've done our jobs!

I am totally going to rebait him from another account and ask about the gold, though! I think we may ACTUALLY get him committed to an institution before we are through. I would like to see a new icon for that, please.

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:46 pm

Thank God! A new modality!
He could do with some de-educating I think.

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:32 pm

He does seem to be running out of steam but at least I'm getting him to run backwards and forwards to the bank. Hopefully with this I just sent he'll start accusing the bank staff of holding onto his money which won't do wonders for the longevity of his account.

I found a very appropriate airport for him to send my lions to as well...

Quote:

Pastor

What is going on here!

I have spoken with Ms Joensen and the money has been remitted to your account. Check the slip that she sent and that clearly shows that the money has been sent by secure wire transfer to the account you gave us. Our bankers have confirmed that the money has definitely been received by your bank in Benin. If they have not put the money into your account then that is something you need to take up with them.

You are now way overdue on your shipping date. Please ship the cats at once to this location:

HARRISON: ALPH RIVER PROJECT
Live Animal Receiving Facility
Muren International Airport (ICAO: ZMMN)
Mongolia

Your shipper may know the airport under its alternate name "Moron", see http://worldaerodata.com/wad.cgi?id=MG00014 for details if they are unsure.

Please expedite delivery as we are behind schedule

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:35 am

He is lazy indeed.
I told him I did not want 4 bald eagles, I wanted 2 bald eagles and 2 of some other kind.
His reply was "All we have is Bald Eagles"
I mean, what the Hell!! Is he so tired that he cannot even make up a lie any more? Those late night calls must be taking a toll on the poor Pasor Wink

Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 10:38 pm

I figured all was over with Pasta Balless,but couldn't reist one last shot.He told me the camel was packed and waiting at the port.I asked for directions from the nearest airfield.He gave me the same phone nuimber again,and said I should call there for directions

Quote:

Pastor,why must you be so difficult about everything.Why should I make
an expensive phone call for directions,when you can simply e mail them
to me?I presume you do know the area.

His reply

Quote:

Stop to play with me ok?

I will gladly stop to play with the good Pastor every chance I get beating

Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 11:52 am

<br>I think the good Pastor is running out of steam...

Quote:

Are you going to eat the invoice or what?If you are serious pay the one we gave beford.

My reply...

Quote:

Attn Pastor Ballsack

My dog ate the last invoice, that is why I need a new one, so my
accountant can pay it by due process. The little bastard eats
everything, my dog, not my accountant, although he is a fat bastard. I
have to buy a new pair of slippers virtually every week.

What about my order for two (2) Golden Syrup Eagles and one (1) Baa Baa
Black Sheep for my family's M�nage � trois? If you have them, then can
you include them on the invoice please. Don't just ignore my requests,
that is just plain rude, especially for a so-called man of God okey

You need to sharpen up your act if you are going to do any good in this
business okey

Get back to me today quick with the invoice.

Anybody else still in contact with this muppet, because I'm slowly losing the will to live at his lazy responses.

Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 2:06 pm

i send him a message every few days but haven't heard anything from the dear pastor for quite some time.

Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 4:54 am

Dammit, I'm so late on this one.

Lets see if he has mudkips, just for giggles.