Bestiality? Not tolerated in the US Marines!

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:20 pm

I am in contact with a "US Marine captain has looted goods and wants money moved from Iraq" lad and we've been chewing the fat, getting to know each other, misunderstanding each other, and generally wagging our virtual chins a lot this week.

We came to the subject of marriage and wives and all that, and I told him that my character has two girlfriends and can't decide which one to marry, oh the pain of it all! The lad comes up with some great advice for my confused character:

Scammer wrote:

Regarding your marital life,though i don't know how old you are but my candid advice to you is to make hay while the sun shine.Out of the two girl friends you have,you have to put them to test in other to know which one loves you most.Marriage is something we don't make mistakes,it is a life time engagement.Some marriage are sweet while some are bitter,some brings luck while some inflicts hard luck,and all these results from the choice we make,do you understand?

If you are a worker and you check yourself that money is not the issue,then start making plans now.Make sure the woman you are marrying doesn't love you for what you have but for who you are.The love ,the two girls in your life have for you must not be equal,one must love you the most and you must reciprocate the love in other to make a happy home.The most important in life is happy marriage life,when your love is mutual,tolerance comes in,patience comes in,endurance comes in,admiration comes in.Make sure you marry your own specie because we are grouped in species,she must love what you love,eat what you eat,play the same kind of play with you,if you are a christian,she must be a christian,you must have the same characteristic in other to make a happy home,but the problem is how can you find your own specie?

So, the take-home message is: Stay with your own species when marrying.

THANKS, CAPTAIN, IT'S HOMO SAPIENS ALL THE WAY FROM NOW ON!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

Wow, he's an agony aunt! I think he should stick to his day job though.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

THANKS, CAPTAIN, IT'S HOMO SAPIENS ALL THE WAY FROM NOW ON!

Certainly a life lesson there. Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:36 pm

I also tend to stick to my species these days. My dalliances with all things ruminant have landed me in hot water in the past. Wink

You really do have a lad there who is investing a lot of time in you, great job OF.

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:37 pm

Not so loud! You're gonna make the goat jealous again and it will trash the mod forum like last time! Laughing

B

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:38 pm

The Colonial Marines are far more tolerant of inter-species intimacy:

Quote:

Hey, I wouldn't mind getting me some more a that Arcturan poontang. Remember that time?

Yeah, but the one you had was male!

- Aliens

Master Baiter Joined: 20 Mar 2008 Posts: 127

Good to know the lads think it's important to stay within the same species! Could you imagine a Lad Half-ling? I wonder what ranking other animals are compared to humans...say an anaconda or a giraffe?

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Otterfan, that is awesome. Laughing

Not only is the species part priceless, but I really liked all of his advice about love/marriage. I think you should continue to fill him in on your love life, choose the woman who is shallow but better looking, and then blame him; tell him you took his advice. Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 10:18 pm

The whole exchange so far has been rather amazing and strange. He's definitely a character, this one. I'll post it all when/if it comes to an end.

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 10:32 pm

One of my lads is more tolerant:

Quote:

dear uncle Jones,

good morning. thank you for your letter. i never climbed any horse
before but i love horses and i fear them. i will learn in the ranch how
to know the horses and climb them.

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:19 pm

H'm,he loves horses yet he fears them?This sounds like a confused lad in need of help.I'm certain you will council him well! Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:36 pm

Otterfan wrote:

must love what you love,eat what you eat,play the same kind of play with you,if you are a christian,she must be a christian,you must have the same characteristic

It sounds like you would be marrying yourself.

"Otterfan wilt thou have this woman Otterfan to be thy wedded wife..." Laughing

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:17 am

@Otterfan, does that mean you won't be requiring the services of my mugu investment vehicle then? Same because we're attracting a lot of inward investment from the offspring of rich, dead people in Africa and this nice Pastor in Benin is sending us some really interesting animals soon.

Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 7:41 pm

This lad is excellent. Forget about my character's two girlfriends, this lad will make the perfect partner!

In amongst all the scam-related stuff, he writes:

Quote:

Regarding your two girls Axx and Dxx,now that you have known the qualities that is in Axx and Dxx,you have to find out how deep Axx loves you and how deep Dxx loves you,take time to ask them individidually what they like in you or why they love you,then from mtheir answers,you will then know what each of them feel about you because Love can be a game of hide and seek. If everything is as simple as feeling something and saying those feelings out loud, then the world will be better off. This kind of honesty is however cannot be done in reality as people live in fear, insecurity and oh let us not forget pride. We cannot tell or show how we feel because we fear rejection. We will only show our feelings when we are really sure that our feelings will be reciprocated. When we are not sure, we will choose to just keep it a secret than run the risk of getting hurt.
So many men just wait until their wives ask if they love them and then they say �of course I love you, you don�t need to ask�. Sometimes they don�t even mention the �love you� bit for fear of embarrassment. This is the kind of response given time and time again but at the end of the day words don�t really count for very much unless you mean them and you show that you mean them.
Loving someone isn�t just saying �I love you� of �of course I do� at certain prompted intervals. Love is in the way you feel, in the way you treat someone, in how you act and in what you say. Love is having respect for someone, being there for them and looking forward to those special intimate moments. Love means understanding your partner, respecting their opinions and ideas and helping them with all the mindless boring chores. Love means pulling together in good times and in bad.
In intimate moments think of your partners pleasure as well as your own.Don�t just say you are sorry, actually mean it.If you say you are going to do something, do it.If you say you are going to be somewhere, be there.Don�t keep on making the same mistake over and over. It�s a clear sign that you haven�t listened and you don�t care.Find things that you can do together and both enjoy. It�s all too easy to grow apart when you don�t spend quality time together.Listen to what your wife has to say. Listen, understand and take action.Don�t ever assume the grass is greener elsewhere. It might be different but not necessarily better!!
Women and men alike have a stake in their marriage. It is a shared relationship, one that individuals must take the time to truly understand before trying to move forward. Yet, in the heat of the moment, the women in your life are going to be telling you things that you need to know! Women are not smarter then men, they are just more open, honest and frank about their feelings. It is in these feelings that hide the answers to your needs and to your relationship.
Sometimes, even when already in a relationship, if a woman loves you she will still not express what she feels, choosing to cloak her feelings in shadows of empty sweetness. And mind you, men also experience their own insecurities. They will also question a woman's feelings even when already in a relationship. It is crucial to know if a woman loves you.
You are now a man,a grown up man,so should now learn how to be a man,how to make and raise your own family,your own linage.Don't take a woman that you intend to marry because it also from the same club that she will be snatched by you by club guys. Take her to decent shows because the type of woman you marries will determine the kind of upsprings she will produce. I will not decide for you whom to marry among the two girls but take my advice and work on it,it will surely help you.

I have not laughed so much because of a lad's email for such a long time. I kept reading a few lines, and then scrolling down to see if there's more to come and seeing there was page after page of this stuff.

Oh, and he's putting me in touch with a Red Cross man by the name of Jim Jones. If he should offer me a cup of something sweet to drink . . .

Master Baiter Joined: 20 Mar 2008 Posts: 127

Quote:

You are now a man,a grown up man,so should now learn how to be a man,how to make and raise your own family,your own linage....the type of woman you marries will determine the kind of upsprings she will produce.

Is it bad to spit Guinness all over your KB & monitor? This guy is amazing, I can't believe he wasted all that time writing that!

~STS

Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 11:20 pm

Quote:

Don't take a woman that you intend to marry

Huh? So if you intend to marry you can't marry the one you want?

I love this gem as well...

Quote:

Women are not smarter then men, they are just more open, honest and frank about their feelings.

Now if you'll excuse me I have somewhere else to be... safely away from the wrath of the women of 419eater

Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:10 pm

Please double-check the scammer, I think you are baiting Dr Phil...

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

Sorry Otterfan, your lad has been researching: http://marriage.families.com/blog/marriage-advice-from-women

At least that kept him from scamming while he found it and edited it in.

What happens if Axx and Dxx want to share you?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 09 Aug 2007 Posts: 28

lol i knew I had read that somewhere!

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:15 am

You like both women, so ask the lad what he thinks about polygamy. If you encourage him to give another epic discussion, thats more of his time wasted.

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 4:51 pm

I took your advice, justinv, and asked him about marrying both women. His reply:

Quote:

I received your mail in good faith and i am very happy to hear that you have contacted the security company,thanks for that and i really appreciate. I pray that we will meet in England after the transfer into your account to know you in person and also to see A** and D**,then i will use my old age and compare both of them,i really want the best for you and the highest mistake a man can make in life is to marry the wrong woman.

Regarding marrying the two lovers of yours,to me it is not advisable because it is illegal in the civil/ family probate codes to practice bigamy (having two wives at the same time). The first one will be the valid marriage (either A** or D**) and the 2nd will be void. A marriage in another country is normally valid in the US; so, if someone is married in another country, they cannot get married again in the US or vice versa. Now, the fact is, if you married someone in another country, depending on the country and your disclosure, no one will know you are married and it could work.

It is illegal for someone who is already married to marry again. There are probably ways that someone married in another country might be able to "slip through the cracks" and get married again . However, if someone who is already married in another country marries in the US and received immigration benefits because of that second marriage, it is considred marriage fraud. If it is ever found out, that person could be deported and exluded for life from ever coming back to the US but i don't know of England,all i know is that the only way you can succeed to marry both A** and D** is if they are residing in different countries but as long as they are residing the same place with you,it won't work and if it works,one will be legitimate and the other illicit.

But if you still insist on marrying both due to your lust for them, you can certainly do it in some places in southeast Asia. If you convert to Islam you can have up to 4 wives. I know several foreigners in Aceh province of Sumatra Indonesia that have a couple or few wives legitimately because it is their culture.

To find good and virtuous wife is not always an easy task especially when you are ripe for marriage and you have two to three women in your life,they will all pretend to be caring and nice to you because they know that you are ripe for marriage,but when you will know the actual in in-born character of a women is after marriage. You have to open your eyes and find a woman that will show you tender loving care even at your old age,or in time of difficulties or sick bed,a woman that will be faithful to you that will now crew your friend when you are not around. Taking you to France and all that doesn't count as love for me,there are some vital qualities you have to search in your girls for you to know which one to sttle down with because a bad wife can send you to early grave ,that is why you need to be wise as a serpent.

I await your response regarding what you think about my advice and don't hesitate to ask more questions and i will be obliged to answer you.

He doesn't have to worry about me not asking more questions!

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 5:56 pm

Just Homo Sapiens? Sad

I feel so left out.....

Lovely read Otter!

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 6:40 pm

Otterfan, if you will be able to tolerate the reply, perhaps ask which specific sex acts or positions shows the deepest and strongest love on the part of the woman. Your lad seems to have such a deep understanding of women so he should know the answer. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 7:02 pm

Somebody loves his wiki answers:

http://tinyurl.com/3klxs8

Sorry, the English was just too good. I had to find out where he'd cut and pasted it.

Please tell me you've starred out Ant and Dec.

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 7:14 pm

^ Ha! It's not Ant and Dec, don't worry!

I just put the initials and two asterisks because I had a feeling he was Google-happy and this forum is not behind a login. A combination of his name plus their names might (note: might) have brought him here, so the l33t speak and the asterisks were used.

PRSGG: I'll work that into my next reply.

Bestiality? Not tolerated in the US Marines!	View next topic View previous topic