Fun with lotto lads

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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 10:46 pm

After a whole heap of false starts, baiting Lotto Lads has suddenly worked for me... I've got three on tap at the moment, baiting as , though I think one might not be on for long.

***
The first was the Australian International Lottery.

Quote:

You are hereby have been approved a lump sum pay of US$200,000.00 (TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS)

Quote:

Furthermore, your details(e-mail address) falls within our European representative office in Amsterdam, Holland as indicated in your play coupon and your prize of US$200,000.00 will be released to you from this regional branch office in NIGERIA.

After contacting the claims agent, Cammy wrote:

Quote:

I need a favour - I have no idea how to write this application letter. Please tell me what to write, as I don't want to mess this up.

Cammy was just told to fill out the form. She persisted:

Quote:

I know about the form. But you said I had to write an application letter too. Please tell me what to tell them as I don't know.

So the good Doctor Ph1l1s C0ker (apparently a guy, BTW) sent Cammy the text of the letter. She sent it off, got a reply with a nicely detailed JPEG and a demand for a fee to be paid by WU), then told the banker (another Doctor) to wait as she had to check something:

Quote:

I know that with Tattslotto and so on, there are often photographs and testimonials of past winners used in advertising and promotional material. If so, I could help with providing a suitable picture, subject to my boyfriend's approval (he takes my pictures and arranges my portfolio).
Please get back to me about this.

[Many thanx, Otterfan!]

No problem, says Doctor Phil. So it's back to the banker Lad:

Quote:

I'm choosing wire transfer - please send me an invoice for the fee and the account to transfer it to.

[I want a bank account for Alan]

But no - the Lad repeats his demand for a WU transfer. I think Cammy ( by another name) is going to get cross...)

So far it's only five days, but I have hopes for it.

The second was the "DE POSTCODE LOTERIJ NL BONANZA!!!" for "One Million Euros Only" and I went a bit quirky on this one.

Quote:

This programme is being sponsored by a conglomeration of computer softwares/Hardwares manufactures worldwide as a way of promoting the use of the internet worldwide which is becoming a useful tool in modern business/communication.

Cammy replied:

Quote:

I don't think you need to encourage the use of the internet. Dude, you are so last century!
However - I'm pretty well off and while a million Euros would be kewl, I don't really need it. Would it be possible to have it signed over to a charity organisation of some sort?

Probably not a good idea - I just wanted to see how the Lad would take it.

The third was also the POSTCODE LOTERIJ, but for "the sum of US$1,500,000.00{One Million,Five Hundred Thousand U.S Dollars}only".

After Cammy wrote to the paying bank, they replied:

Quote:

Attn:-
Dear White,
We hereby wish to congratulate you..

They sent a PDF form as well.

Cammy replied:

Quote:

I'm afraid my computer can't handle PDFs. Could you please send the form as a JPEG? Thank you.
BTW - it's "Ms White", not just "White", thank you very much!
Also - I'm not able to call you as I don't have a phone (I'm effectively deaf). I don't think you should make a fuss about this.

(emphasis added)

Guess what? He did.

Quote:

But we CANNOT pay the Lottery prize to you without speaking with you,you should have hearing aid on or in the alternative,you have any of your family member or associates to call us,as that forms part of our payment process.

Cammy bit back!

Quote:

If you're telling me that you won't pay out because I can't use a telephone, then this is rank and blatant discrimination. You're telling me everything has to be done by the laws of Holland, but I don't believe that those laws give you the right to cheat the deaf! FYI I can't use a hearing aid (seems the damage was too severe) and if I have my brother or parents or boyfriend make the call, doesn't that go against those HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL bits you put on your email?

There's not just money involved here, but a principle. I'm not happy with this and I want a fair and proper outcome.

***
I thought Lotto baits could be boring. I'm happy to be proved wrong!

ETA - BTW - if someone would like to give the third Lad a call (posing as either Cammy's brother or her boyfriend), please let me know...

Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 11:05 pm

Surely Cammy can lipread, if they'll just go on a webcam this can all be sorted so quickly!

And as luck would have it, she's visitin her brother in Holland next week, she can meet the prize fund people face-to-face?

Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 11:49 pm

Nice starts, Y! More straight baiting of lotto lads is definitely a good thing. (And you also learn a lot more baiting skills, I've found, as a result of really trying to keep them on the hook.)

Where's the number based for that last one?

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 12:15 am

The phone number supplied is .

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 12:37 am

Okay, I can give Holland a call for you, if you want.

PM me the details and I'll sort it out.

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 4:12 am

The Australian Lottery, part 2

Quote:

I'll try again. I want an invoice for the fee and an account to transfer it to.
Please don't make me have to ask you a third time.

Guess what? I might as well not have bothered. Just Western Union!

Quote:

WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER IS THE ONLY WAY TO RECEIVE WINNERS PAYMENT IN OUR OFFICE FOR QUICK RECEIVING .WE CAN NOT ISSUE YOU OUR ACCOUNT BECAUSE THE FEE WHICH YOU ARE REQUIRED TO SEND IS VERY SMALL TO OUR ACCOUNT.

At this point I changed tack and returned to Dr Phil:

Quote:

Why did you send the money out of Australia to a Nigerian Bank? I've got that dickhead Johnson telling me I have to pay my fee by Western Union because the amount is too small! First time I ever heard of a bank worrying about size...

Quote:

THIS IS BECAUSE IT IS THE REGIONAL OFFICE AND YOUR PRIZE MONEY IS PROTECTED BY A HARDCOVER INSURANCE POLICY BY TRUST INSURANCE COMPANY, WHICH MAKES IT PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANYBODY FRAGMENT ANY AMOUNT FROM THE TOTAL PRIZE MONEY BEFORE IT IS REMITTED TO YOU

.

There was more, but this was the relevant bit; and Cammy wasn't impressed:

Quote:

I never asked for any money to be taken out of my prize - OK? Talk about missing the point, for the love of Freyja...
If this is how you do business, then I'm not letting you use my picture or anything like that for publicity. I don't want my name linked to that stupid bank - it could really hurt my career.

Then back to the banker:

Quote:

Dr C0ker tells me I have to send the money by Western Union, so I guess that's it. She was very persistent. I still want that invoice though, and make it quick as I'll be away for the weekend.
BTW - what's with the High Court affidavit? Does everyone transferring money from your bank have to go through that? Sounds like a lawyer's picnic!

Dr Phil shot back:

Quote:

IF YOU DID N,T UNDERSTAND ME LET ME KNOW.I WAS EXPLAINING THE QUESTION YOU ASKED ME.OK

Quote:

Well, you gave me an answer to a question I hadn't asked, OK? I'm having enough trouble getting a sensible answer out of Dr Johnson, and you're not helping! Come on, us Aussies should stick together.

Then Dr Phil raised a point that I thought was dead:

Quote:

WHATS IS YOUR NEXT STEP NOW I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU,I HAVE ALREADY INFORMED THEM ABOUT YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS,WHICH YOU SAID YOU WILL BE OF HELP LET ME KNOW , AM WAITING.

I decided to throw a bit of RL into the mix:

Quote:

My next step is going to be paying them, once I get my invoice. I hope they hurry as I'm off on a weekend photoshoot as of tomorrow!
Just out of curiosity - which city are you living in? If your lot want new publicity pix (assuming they don't cause me any more hassles), AJ could take them with both of us.

Dr Phil is slightly worried:

Quote:

I WANT YOU TO GO AND MAKE THE PAYMENT AT THE WESTERN UNION TOMORROW BEFORE GOING ON YOUR WEEKEND PHOTO SHOOT SO THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE READY FOR YOU IMMEDIATELY TO AVOID DELAY. YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE PAYMENT THROUGH WESTERN UNION AS THE BANK INSTRUCTED . WHEN YOU COME BACK FROM YOUR WEEKEND PHOTO SHOOT TRY TO CONTACT ME SO THAT WE TALK ON THE PHOTOGRAPHS OK.

Cammy blithely replies:

Quote:

That all depends on Dr Johnson sending me the invoice!
When I'm back I'll give you my boyfriend's address so you can negotiate with him directly. That's his area � I�m supposed to just look cute.

More to come, I'm sure!

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:56 pm

And a bit more:

Quote:

USE THE INFORMATION THE BANK SENT TO YOU AND MAKE THE PAYMENT AT THE WESTERN UNION AT THE WESTERN UNION THE WILL GIVE YOU A SLIP YOU WILL FILL .MAKE THE PAYMENT AT THE WESTERN UNION AM WITH YOU DON,T FEAR OK

Three Western Unions in just under 40 words...

Cammy to the banker:

Quote:

I've asked for that invoice FOUR TIMES now. If you've got such a hard-on for time, send me the stupid thing and we can get this deal finished! Is that too much to ask?

Then to Dr Phil:

Quote:

I don't want the WU slip, I want an invoice from Dr Johnson! By Skadhi's bow, it should be simple. Doesn't every bank have proforma invoices?

I think the banker Lad must have taken a break!

Quote:

I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING VERY WELL,BUT I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS MADE IT AS A RULE THAT BEFORE ANY WINNER CAN CLAIM HER WON PRIZE THE WINNER HAVE TO PAY THROUGH WESTERN UNION (ESPECIALLY SMALL AMOUNT)T.SO AM TELLING NOW TO GO IMMEDIATELY AND MAKE THE PAYMENT AT THE WESTERN UNION.I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT AM SOLIDLY BEHIND YOU WHY CAN,T YOU UNDERSTAND ME YOU ARE NOT FIRST PERSON THAT IS PAYING THROUGH WESTERN OTHER WINNERS HAVE BEEN PAYING THROUGH WESTERN AND HAVE BEEN CLAIMING THEIR MONEY WITHOUT ANY FORM OF HINDRANCE.GO AHEAD AND MAKE THE PAYMENT TO AVOID DELAY.NO TIME TO DELAY

.

Cammy is getting petulant - time to bring her religion into it:

Quote:

The board specified WU? Do they own shares in it? Well, I don't care what they or you or anyone else says about it, because I am the winner, and I say what I want done! If I want an invoice, then they fucking well give me an invoice! I'm the one who got lucky, not them!
What's in it for you anyway? Does it matter to you if I don't claim the money like, right now? I don't think so!
I'm going to raise my spirit to the All-Father tonight and seek Wisdom from him. He'll tell me if I'm doing the right thing.

Dr Phil slips up a bit here:

Quote:

GO AHEAD AND ASK YOUR ALL-FATHER NIGHT SO THAT HE WILL ADVISE YOU ON THE BEST THING TO DO .BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT AM TELLING IS THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GET MONEY.HAVE A NICE DAY.

This is how:

Quote:

Don't you DARE say what the Lord of the Aesir would tell me! He's the One I choose to worship, so show some respect!
For your information, Odin Alfadur did grant me wisdom - "Your choice is a good one. Do not deviate from it." When I hear His voice, I take heed.
I don't know why you're going on like this - I'm ready to send the money when the bank does its fucking job and sends me what I want. It's so fucking basic I have no idea why Dr Johnson is being such a retard.
Anyway... gotta finish packing. Maybe by Sunday everything will be OK.

Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 11:28 pm

Australian Lottery, continuing...

First the banker Lad:

Quote:

THE FIRST BANK PLC HAVE RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL.,WE ARE NOT HAPPY WITH YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS YOUR WINNING PRIZE ,FOR YOUR LAST INFORMATION WITH OUT YOUR AFFIDAVIT CERTIFICATE WE CAN NOT TRANSFER YOUR FUND. TO YOU.
YOUR LEGAL FEE WILL BE TRANSFER THROUGH WESTERN UNION BY YOU TO ENABLE US CONFIRM AND DOCUMENT FOR YOUR TRANSFER.

[Emphasis added]

He went on:

Quote:

PLEASE **WHITE BEAR IN MIND THAT THIS IS NOT A CHILDES PLAY ,WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE ARE HERE TO SERVICE YOU BETTER.
UPON THE RECIPIENT OF YOUR LEGAL FEE ,YOUR FUND WILL BE TRANSFER TO YOU WITHOUT ANY DELAY.
REMEMBER TO FORWARD TO US YOUR ACCOUNT INFORMATION FOR TRANSFER AS SOON AS YOU MAKE YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER.
WE WILL WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON BECAUSE ON THE 15TH OF THIS MONTH WILL BE THE LAST DATE FOR YOUR CLAIM .

OK - and then Dr Phil chipped in:

Quote:

I WANT TO LET YOU AT THIS MOMENT THAT THE DIRECTOR OF FIRST BANK PLC DR.GEORGE M. JOHNSON CONTACT ME THIS MORNING THAT I SHOULD LET YOU THAT THEY ARE NOT HAPPY WITH YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS YOUR WON MONEY IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED IN CLAIMING YOUR MONEY SEND A DISCLAIMER TO THE BANK IMMEDIATELY OK.THE BANK SAID I SHOULD LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE TO MAKE YOUR PAYMENT AT THE WESTERN UNION BEFORE OR ON 15TH OF THIS MONTH OR YOU FORGET EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR MONEY.HAVE A NICE TRIP.

Cammy sent a quick reply to each - first to Dr Phil:

Quote:

I don't give a hairy rat's ass for what they think - it's not their fucking job to get upset about what I say to them. If they're such screaming queers that they can't handle a little forthright honesty, then they can cry me a fucking river.
Look - if I'm giving them such a hard time, then I guess I'll pay up rather than put up with another whinge from either of you. It'll have to be tomorrow as it's too late now.
And I had a nice trip - not that I think you really care.

Then the banker:

Quote:

Dr Coker pitched in for you. I guess I feel sorry for her - it can't be fun having to deal with you and the rest of the limp-wrist banker mafia. But anyway - OK, I'm sending the money tomorrow, and I'll have to find a fax as I haven't got one of my own.

Yesterday from Dr Phil:

Quote:

HOW ARE YOU DOING MY GOOD FRIEND?OK NO PROBLEM I GOT YOUR MAIL.GO AHEAD AND MAKE THE PAYMENT TOMORROW AND SEND TO THE BANK THE DETAILS YOU FILLED AT THE WESTERN UNION FOR DOCUMENTATION AND CONFIRMATION, HAVE A NICE MOMENT

[Emphasis added as I really wonder what he meant...]

There'll be a problem at Western Union today...

Meanwhile, at the POSTCODE LOTERIJ...

Otterfan made a call for me. This is what happened:

Quote:

What in the name of Holy Charles Soludo is that scam all about?!?!?! I got through to Mr Willems, said I was calling on behalf of Cammie White, and the first question he asked me then was "What is Miss White's medical problem?" So I told him that she has problems with her hearing, at which he interrupted and said "So, she's medically deaf? Then we should have a copy of a doctor's certificate, we have to check these things out before going ahead with the deal." (Paraphrasing.)
Huh? I thought this was a lotto win!
He also asked for a picture of her, "So we know what she looks like."
At this point, I was wondering just what I was getting dragged in to so I sort of kept quiet and didn't volunteer any more information, just answering with "yes" and "no" when appropriate.
He also asked where she was... Melbourne or Brisbane? So I was very vague and said she moves around a lot because of her work, but the last I heard she was in Melbourne.
Then he ended the call, with the last thing being another request for the doctor's certificates. FOR A LOTTERY WIN??? Bizarre.
Oh, and also: When I called yesterday, I got straight through to someone who speaks English (with a West African accent). That's probably because I phoned after business hours. This time, however, the call was answered by someone speaking in Dutch so I asked for Mr Willems and I was put on hold, then Mr Willems (a different voice) answered. Sounds very organized over there.

Otterfan!

Over the weekend, the Lad wrote back:

Quote:

We are not in the business of sending e-mails back and forth,as we have made ourselves expressly clear.We sent you the form in two formats and you have not filled the form and have same faxed to us,before you start making demands,you are required to download the form and have it faxed to us,then,we shall work out the modalities of paying you this money.We dont discriminate against anybody,but laws are laws and must be obeyed. We will consider this matter closed if you fail to fax the claims processing form to us now.

So Cammy riposted:

Quote:

My brother just emailed me with details of the phone call he made to you. You told him you need a doctor's certificate to prove my deafness and a picture of me! Are you completely serious or is this some stupid practical joke?

Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:46 am

I can make another call, Yastreb, if Cammie's getting some serious hassle from the lotto lad. I imagine she'll be very upset about him threatening to close the case on her just because she hasn't filled in the forms yet, and she'll probably turn to her brother, maybe.

Let me know, and I can also ask about the medical certificates, maybe get some clarification about why he wants that and photos, too. He's actually quite easy to talk to, compared to a lot of lads I've called. Very clear speaker so I don't have to ask him to repeat stuff over and over again.

Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 10:37 am

I like that postcode loterij scam. Ask him about the winning zip code (cause that's what this real lotterie is about .. maybe I've won something also Wink

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:18 pm

Australian Lottery, continuing again...

Bad news for Dr. Phil:

Quote:

I went to the post office to send the money, and when I handed over the form to the guy at the counter he gave me a funny look and went out back - Mr Neilsen came out and asked me why I was sending money to Nigeria. I told him it wasn't his concern, just to process the payment, and he said to me that he had to be sure I wasn't being scammed. I got angry with him, and so he just gave me a little pamphlet about "419 scams" and "advance fee fraud". It mentioned how scammers in Nigeria and other countries trick people into sending money.
I think he was telling me other stuff, but I was crying, and I couldn't see his lips moving. So I had to leave and go home.
I don't know what to think. Please tell me what's going to happen now.

Dr Phil's answer was refreshingly long:

Quote:

I RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL AND I WAS N,T HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU SAID ,I THEN CONTACTED THE BANK ON YOUR BEHALF . THE DIRECTOR OF THE BANK DR.GEORGE.M.JOHNSON SAID I SHOULD TELL YOU TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER LOCATION OF WESTERN UNION AND MAKE THE PAYMENT IMMEDIATELY.OR YOU INSIST WITH THE WESTERN UNION AND TELL THAT YOU WANT TO SEND IT.TO MR EDW1N EV4NS HE IS THE ACCOUNT OFFICER WHO IS IN CHARGE OF RECEIVING INTERNATIONAL PAYMENT I HAVE DONE MY DUTY AS YOUR AGENT TO SEE THAT YOUR FUND IS TRANSFERED TO YOU BY TELLING YOU THE PROCEDURE, REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY WINNING ON OUR ONGOING LOTTERY PROMO.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WHAT THE BANK TOLD YOU IS TRUE THAT WAS WHY WE TOLD YOU EARLIER TO KEEP ALL YOUR INFORMATION CONFIDENTIAL TO AVOID BAD PEOPLE KNOWING ABOUT YOUR WINNING INFORMATION .YOU FUND HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR TRANSFER BY OUR NOMINATED BANK (FIRST BANK PLC) www.firstbankofnigeria.es.tl
MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER WESTERN UNION OFFICE AS THE BANK SIDE TO SEND THE FEE TO THEM ,TO ENABLE THEM TRANSFER YOUR WINNING PRIZE TO YOU ,WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT AM SOLIDLY BEHIND YOU GO AHEAD AND MAKE THE PAYMENT IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE THERE IS NO TIME LEFT FOR YOU.HAVE A NICE MOMENT
NOTE THE FIRST BANK NIGERIA PLC IS THE PAYING BANK NOMINATED BY OUR AUTHORITIES TO PAY WINNING PRIZE.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT MY JOB HERE AS YOUR AGENT IS TO MAKE SURE YOUR FUND IS BEEN TRANSFERRED TO YOU WITHOUT ANY HITCH.
CONGRATULATION ONCE AGAIN

Cammy wasn't impressed:

Quote:

So you're just telling me to go somewhere else? Mr Neilsen wouldn't lie to me - I've been going to that post office for years!
I'm going to seek Wisdom from the All-Father about this.

Dr Phil wasn't either:

Quote:

YES,GO SOMEWHERE ELSE OK,OR YOU GO AHEAD A SEEK WISDOM FROM YOUR ALL-FATHER

This one's been a training exercise more than anything else, so I decided that Odin wouldn't like this crowd - so:

Quote:

SIE SIND EINS MIT LOKI! IM HEILIGEN NAMEN VON ODIN VERFLUCHE ICH SIE! MAI FENRIR VERSCHLINGEN SIE UND ALLE IHRE ST�MME!

Or:

Quote:

YOU ARE ONE WITH LOKI! IN THE HOLY NAME OF ODIN I CURSE YOU! MAY FENRIR DEVOUR YOU AND ALL YOUR KIN!

(Since the Aesir were worshipped in the German lands as well as Scandinavia, I thought German was appropriate.)