I think I'm being scammed

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Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 9:13 pm

I have been chatting with a man in Nigeria since 2002. He claims to be a pastor and back then, he told me he wanted to come over here and meet me because he felt that God had told him to marry me. Now, 6 years later, he is still saying this. I do want him to come over, because I would like to meet him. But now he has started asking for money and gifts. For instance, just today he asked me if I knew what a Rolex watch was. When I told him how expensive they were, he said that his father had asked for one and he had laughed at his father. He then went on to ask me to send his father a gift. When I pointed out to him (for the hundredth time) that I have no money, he said that when he comes over, the two of us can buy his father a gift. Then, just about an hour ago, he messaged me and told me that he'd been robbed by an armed robber. Here's the clincher - he said he had no money and no food, and he actually asked me to send him money. When I AGAIN told him that I have no money (I will have to borrow money myself just to get back and forth to work), he said that a friend of his would send ME a check and I could cash it over here and mail it to him. This sounds like a scam to me. Am I being overly cautious??? I know that I tend to be very suspicious of anyone who claims any type of interest in me, so I just want to make sure I'm not overreacting. When I told him that there was no point in having anyone send any checks to me, that he could cash the check himself right there, he accused me of turning my back on him and not loving him (I can't possibly love someone I've only talked to online for the last 6 years and have never met). I think I'm being scammed by a real con artist. What does anyone else think??

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 9:18 pm

It's certainly possible from reading your message that you're being scammed. But for him to suddenly start all this after SIX YEARS? That's an excessively long time by any standard for a scammer to wait.

What worries me most is the fact that after you turn down one request, he comes back at you from a different angle. There's definately something very wrong there in my opinion.

Elite Baiter Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 1979

No you are NOT being over cautious and YES you are being scammed. It is a little unusual for a scammer to take so long but often they do take a very long time to set their hooks.

Master Baiter Joined: 31 Mar 2008 Posts: 130

Has the way he writes changed any? Could be someone stole his account. Or he may have been legit all this time and just started scamming. Figured someone he knew would be a good starting point.

Or he may have been robbed at gunpoint while on the way to pay for his sick mother who is in the hospital after the father was killed without getting his trunk of money out of the country because he was waiting for a check someone will send you if you'll take and send them the extra and send bus fare for his sister.

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 9:34 pm

I'd say the latter reason. It sounds perfectly reasonable to me Laughing

Another option is that he's had you waiting on the sidelines all this time waiting to scam you. When you say you've talked to him since 2002, do you mean constantly or maybe an email every few months or so?

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 9:45 pm

Do you have his emails saved ? One from before he asked for money and one after? Then we would know, if you post the headers too, that is.

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 9:45 pm

it def. sounds suspect - esp. since he asked you to be a check mule. I think most on this site will agree that it's likely a scam although a long time coming. you may also want to go over to www.scamwarners.com - they are the experts in helping out victims or potential victims.

Good luck!

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 10:32 pm

Certainly sounds like a scam to me, as the others have said 6 years is a long time to wait before asking for money but all the signs are there.

You could try doing a search on his email address or other details he has given you,

you could also ask Wayne very nicely to send him an email and see if he bites.

May I also suggest that we dont pile on this lad if details are posted, that would not help.

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 11:21 pm

LostatLove wrote:

When I told him that there was no point in having anyone send any checks to me, that he could cash the check himself right there, he accused me of turning my back on him and not loving him (I can't possibly love someone I've only talked to online for the last 6 years and have never met). I think I'm being scammed by a real con artist. What does anyone else think??

This stuck me (the part in red) as something an emotionally abusive person would say. He is using "love" to try to get you to comply with him. Love scammers do that.

[advice on]I wouldn't want to waste my time trying to meet someone who said that to me. Drop him and find a person you can really speak to and check out what he is saying.[advice off]

He is abusive AND a scammer. Mad

That's what I think.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 Apr 2008 Posts: 16

It's possible that the reason it has taken him so long to try to "work one" on you is because he has been busy working his act on other people.

I seriously, seriously, seriously URGE you to move on.

Don't even WASTE your time with this load of crap. A REAL man will NEVER give you a love ultimatum over money like that, especially when he knows you don't have it.

Get a new chat handle/email and drop him like a bad habit. He really is not worth your time. Unless you like the abuse.

Chalk it up to experience. If you meet this man in real life I GUARENTEE YOU he is going to want you to pay for EVERYTHING and then he is going to want you to move his family here and he is going to suck you dry when it comes to money and then move on to someone more wealthy. PLEASE SEEK SOMEONE who CARES about YOU!

I say that from the bottom of my heart. There are GOOD men out there who don't live 10 million miles away.

Master Baiter Joined: 31 Mar 2008 Posts: 130

ParaNoid has it right I think. Even if he his not a scammer, I agree that he is an abusive user.

You don't want that, trust me!!!!! Sad

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 2:48 am

Thank you everyone for your replies. Very little of my communication with him has been via email. We chat mainly on Yahoo Messenger. The few emails he has sent have all been information regarding the NGO (non-governmental organization) he says he has started in Nigeria as part of his ministry. None of that asks for money - it's supposed to be information, however, the information is general and does not mention the organization he claims to have started there. When I ask for specific information, he is unable to provide it, saying that the organization was only started in late 2007.

In 2002, when we started chatting, we chatted almost daily. After I kept refusing to send him my phone number, we started chatting once or twice a month, and it's been that way until a few months ago. We now chat daily.

I am very thankful for all of your replies. You have confirmed what I had been fearing and what I was certain of after our conversation today. I strongly doubt that he was robbed today, and I also do not believe that his father asked me to send him a Rolex watch.

Murry Guru, interestingly enough, I did a search on all of the email addresses I have for him, as well as a search on the user id he uses on Yahoo. Nothing came up. So I'm thinking that if he's working this scam on someone else, he's using different id's.

I will certainly go over to www.scamwarners.com and run this by them, but I think I've gotten my answer here.

All of his conversations have been very consistent - nothing really has changed, other than the constant subtle requests for money (although today was definitely not subtle). The best one was when we were discussing him getting a VISA to come to the states, and he actually told me that I would have to send him a letter together with my financial information, AS IF I would really do that. When I told him that I could find absolutely nothing that said that I would have to provide my financial information in order for him to come to the states, he decided that it would be best if a church sponsored him to come over here, since he's a pastor and is trying to set up his ministry over here.

Thank you. I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut this guy loose. I had hoped that he was an honest person and was someone I could trust. But the constant requests for money is wearing me out, and even if I had some money, I would NOT be sending it to Nigeria.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 Apr 2008 Posts: 16

Good for you!!

This makes me really happy!! So many people are so desperate for love that they would send the money anyway HOPING for a better turnout than what they KNOW is bound to happen.

For me, it's a big turn off when a man asks me for money and I am not the one initiating the "present". ESPECIALLY if we haven't met. Been there.. and I actually DID send money because the guy pulled the whole "My car broke down and I need 50 dollars and you're my friend blah blah" and when I said I was broke he got mad as well which was a huge turn off. I ended up sending the money like a dumb ass... thankfully it was only 50 bucks but I learned my lesson the hard way and dropped him like a bad habit and have never looked back. Don't even miss him.. shit I can't even remember his name hahaha.

Thanks for letting us know what happened. Smile

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

I'm glad you found your way here to get your questions answered.
You said that he made subtle requests for money all along; that leads me to believe that he is definitely a scammer. I can't believe that he's been talking to you for six years without you giving him any money! I think you could teach us a thing or two about baiting. Laughing

Good for you for being smart, and Good Luck! Very Happy

Master Baiter Joined: 31 Mar 2008 Posts: 130

Good on ya!!!!

Elite Baiter Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 1979

Lostatlove, you are awesome! Congratulations on not becoming a victim. Sadly I know several women who were naive and didn't catch on without being hurt. Some even lost money.

Would you mind sharing his email address with us so a few of us could check him out for you. It's really easy to find out if he's scamming if he responds to a bait. That might answer any nagging doubts you could have.

If his name is common it shouldn't be a problem if you post it here but if it's uncommon you might want to add some spaces between the letters or in some other way obfuscate it so that he doesn't someday find himself here.

And WELCOME to our love forum!

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 3:47 am

I know it's a long shot but when you first met him he would have sent you a message telling you a little about himself and directing you to his yahoo ID, you dont happen to have it still do you.

Generally the first few emails they send will be script, scammers normally use the same script with different names and email addresses, we can search on the scripted parts and often find other email addresses that way, being 6 years since that happened I am probably asking a bit much but if you have it I can check it out for you.

As mentioned we could have one person send an email to see what kind of response we get, details in the IP or any scripted parts of his email can be checked.

Another thing that may help is if he gave you any details for sending money by western union, the name to send the money to as well as test question and answer may be searched and will often find results.

Elite Baiter Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 1979

Hehe, we're all begging to play with her scammer like he's a new toy! Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 4:08 am

I have never had luck with the male love lads so I personnaly would prefer to sit this one out and watch from the side lines, i would like to be able to find some proof of his scamming ways but

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 4:12 am

LostaLove, Welcome and I believe you made the best decision. Do stick around and learn how to bait and help us learn how to keep a scammer on the hookfor so long! Shocked

You sound like a nice person and you asked good questions and didn't blow us off. Kudos to you! Thumbs up

Many of us have seen a lot of damage and carnage done by scammers, so we are quick to warn. We are here to help and learn.

Drop him / block him and please do post his screen name at www.scamwarners.com

Best to you!

As you see, a number of us would be happy to be his new friend. In a safe way of course. Smile

OBL, you nailed it! Wink

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 10:39 am

All of you have given me a smile this morning.

He actually never started asking me for money until a few months ago. That's why this caught me so off guard. I'm thinking he believes that I'm very vulnerable right now because I just had a very emotional breakup with my childhood sweetheart who DID scam me into quitting my great-paying job, leaving all my friends and family and moving back home to marry him, only to find out that he'd brought me here to pay his bills and his rent and raise his demon child. His Valentine's Day present to me was to tell me he can't marry me - I hadn't been able to find a full-time job that would pay his bills. In steps my Nigerian friend. His mistake was not realizing that I was only in 'hurt' mode for two weeks. Then I got angry. And I'm still angry. He might have gotten away with this had I not already fallen for my ex's scam (he's on the internet now trying to find his next victim). But now I'm not trusting anybody who expresses an interest in me, so I have been questioning everything my Nigerian says.

My Nigerian buddy's Yahoo ID is S a m o b a 4 God. He uses that as one of his email addresses at Yahoo. His other email addresses are [email protected] and [email protected]. I have not used this last one at all.

We originally first started chatting on a Christian singles site - I don't even remember which one anymore. After emailing each other on the site a few times, we traded Yahoo ID's and started chatting live. We very rarely emailed each other. I only have his recent emails. I would be more than happy to provide that. Do you want me to post the entire email or just the header?

His real name (at least the name he has given me) is Samuel Abiodun Oreoluwa. He is currently living in Lagos, although he also has a Johannesburg address.

I'd love to hang around and learn to bait. I wish I knew how I kept this guy on a string for 6 years. I figured he had given up on me years ago when I wouldn't even give him my phone number. Especially since our chats usually went along the lines of "how are you" "I'm fine" "getting ready to go to London to study Greek and Hebrew"

I'll be putting him on ignore on Yahoo. Hopefully, he'll get the message.

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 1:02 pm

If you do decide to stick around, and we hope you do, This thread will teach you the basics, as you can see there are many here who ready to help you if you run into any problems.

Take a read through, in particular the parts about love lads, some of it is a little more advanced and you can safely skim over those bits for now but most of your early questions will be answered in there.

As for posting the emails, only the very early ones are likely to produce any results, many lads have lots of script ready to use but I doubt any have 6 years worth, so long as there is no personal information of yours then yes post the message as well as the header.

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 1:24 pm

I've been reading through this site, and I do think I'm going to stick around. What you guys are doing sounds exciting to me, and I'm motivated after yesterday's conversation with my Nigerian friend.

I don't have any early emails because we really didn't communicate via email 6 years ago. I wasn't all that interested in him back then, and after a few emails on the website, we just started chatting on Yahoo.

I do think he's chatting from an Internet cafe. Here's the reason why: Most of the time, I get a message saying that he's using an older version of Yahoo, and it says he's mobile. But lately, quite frequently, it shows that he's using a new version and he's not mobile. I can tell he's using a newer version because I am able to buzz him on this version, while I'm unable to buzz him on the older version. He says he's at 'church', but I am seriously doubting that. The reason I'm not believing that is because he frequently is being disconnected - he says the server is slow. Of course, it could just be that I'm the suspicious type now.

I'm going to keep reading through all the forums and information so that I can join you in being a baiter. The way I see it, the more time my guy spends with me, trying to get me to fall for his game, the less time he has to prey on someone else.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2008 Posts: 1043

That's exactly how it is.
Glad you are sticking around.

One thing that i'm sure you will hear lots. "Read the stickies, bait safe, have fun, and read the stickies again".

Reading your last post, it seems you want to stick with this guy. I suggest getting a safe account, gmail/fastmail and adding him from there.

If you do stick with the same account, don't try anything funny, or even pretend to send money. Scammers are not friendly bunnies and they might come looking for you if you piss them off enough.

Elite Baiter Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 1979

Ooooo, Lost - you are one sharp lady. You're very observant. You'll do well here.

I already have a full stable of lads at the moment, but I do love a challenge. If you don't mind, I'd like to try to get your ex-lad to nibble at my bait. I'll go easy on him just to be sure he's really scamming. It sounds to me like he's sort of waffling back and forth with the idea of scamming but might not be so dedicated at it.

I have found that with lads you can pretty much ignore ALL their religious rhetoric. They use God and religion liberally as a means to justify their end. Most likely your guys is a combination religious/Christian/voodoo/supernatural who attends church occasionally to pray to whatever god he's in the mood for, to send him a good maga. To me, as a devout Christian, it's appalling that they can do what they do and mix God with it.

If I send him an email and just ask if he's still a member of the Christian Singles site and say I haven't seen you in awhile, do you think he'll bite?

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