Tattoo on the way?

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Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

I have two new initiates to the Church of the : Brother Victor and sister . They have been recruited by one of our charter members in Africa, Henry, who will himself be a full-fledged pastor if he can fully initiate these two members. So far, he's gotten them to sign up appropriately. The next step is to receive the Mark of L1feson, followed by a baptism in the appropriate robes.

Anyway, I just received this today and at the risk of jinxing my bait, I just loved the pleading tone that I thought it was worth posting:

Quote:

Hi Pastor Lea,
Initiates my new members I have let them to know that they are in entitle to receive the Mark of L1FESON as indicated on their applications now.
Then I was told by our sister that she will be going to put the Mark this Monday mourning.

Brother Victor indicate that he had a financial problem now, which he will not be able to pay the money for receiving the Mark of L1FESON yet, to avoid delaying if I should finance the money for him, he will get it done immediately.

But Pastor I want you to look on to Brother Victor�s statement of quiche (WTF?) if I have being in that position now, providing the money for putting the Mark of LIFESON is not what I suppose to be requesting from my new members in order to see that tines is going well because to place a little Mark cost $100, over heir in South Africa.

My daddy in the ministry I know you can do something for me I need your help please, I don�t want anything which will be delaying your trip down to South Africa.

I need a support from my committee members!!

And I need to be equipping with all the Books of L1FESON so I want know when the package is going to leave from there down to South Africa.

Thanks your faithful son

IN HIS NAME

Brother Henry.

As most religions will agree, God helps those who help themselves. I'd love to ship over some money, but what would that teach our new members? And I already shipped one set of the Books of Confession to Henry but they appear to have been confiscated by an unethical customs officer -- dare I risk sending another set?

Anyway, stay tuned and fingers crossed....

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:25 pm

Quote:

she will be going to put the Mark this Monday mourning.

She will be in mourning if she get the tattoo!

As for a statement of quiche, does your church give cookery lessons? Your lad needs to keep his mind on the job, not on food.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Darn, Slowfreddie already posted my comments. Laughing

I'll be watching this, I love to see Lads tattooed. Thumbs up

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 589

Nice work J.M I can't wait to see this. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

I wrote back to our acolyte, encouraging Victor to stay strong and look within for the strength to carry on:

Quote:

Brother Henry,

I am well pleased to hear of your news and we wish Sister well in her spiritual journey. LIFESON will reward his faithful daughter for showing her fidelity to HIM. As for brother Victor, we are sympathetic to his plight and we understand the hardships that have befallen him. However, in order to join and be a member, we must show that we can persevere. You will note that during our hard times this past year, the Church prayed for guidance and help, and lo and behold, through hard work and faith, we were rewarded with new members and a new budget.

Please ask Brother Victor to pray for guidance and to find his own way. If he does not wish to continue, that is his choice, but he must make the journey on his own, with LIFESON in his heart.

We are having a dialog with the South African authorities and it appears that the Book of Confessions was indeed stolen by a corrupt customs officer. We are looking into whether we can have this book forwarded to you. Please be patient our dear Brother.

IN HIS NAME,

Pastor Lea

Henry was good enough to replay and show the wisdom that lead our Church to make him our first African pastor:

Quote:

Dear Pastor Lea,

Thanks for your mail.

I know that Brother Victor, will persevere with his present condition and you do not need to be sympathetic, he will come out of it victorious.

I given him the experience of the church and faith, he will be guided by the church past experience and with my understanding everything we be well.

Africa is difficult place and people need God help to access in life and I do not think Victor will abandon his believe.

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 4:11 pm

Oh boy do I love tattoos on lads! Do you have a design already picked out?

When the time comes, you could ship them some expensive supplies to start the new church: boxes of bibles, gold chalices, religious fixtures, and other stuff that they will need to set up in order to receive their money and present in a photo as proof. Of course if they have to travel 300 miles to the nearest location to pick it up...

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

If you go to my signature, under "body art" you'll the design proudly worn by two members.....