Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 8:11 am

Okay, quick breakdown here for anyone that can't or doesn't want to listen:

Our lad has now been sleeping outside in the "motor park" (or bus station) for 7 days now.

He seems to be clinging to some possibility of us collecting him there. I'm not sure why he thinks that's possible, being that jojo is sipping mai tais on a beach in Belize, I'm drinking beer on Maui, and YW is exercising for the both of us in the mid-west.

Anyhow, in this call we find out that at least he's been eating some bread, and has been given some water by a nice woman around there. He seems to think it's too hard to make his way to Khach Khach, and wants me to send a car service to collect him. Obviously, that's not going to happen, but I told him I would try and let him know what I find out either today or tomorrow.

Of course, I also stressed that it's very important that we make it to Abeche immediately because of our representative's sick relative to the north, and also we need to give him the case of cash/gifts, and also make sure he catches the private plane back to Lagos. I told him we REALLY don't want to leave Khach Khach for Abeche without him, and he begs me to wait.

He'll now try to find a car service that will drive him to Khach Khach, and he'll just pay the driver once he gets there with money from the case. Sounds reasonable, right?

7 days in Chad, eating bread and water, sleeping outside, and planning to pay the next driver with money that doesn't exist.

And the best part, to me, is that he borrowed money to get there. This guy is so screwed. Laughing

Can anyone help me find the name of the road that Khach Khach is on? It's on the way to Abeche to the north east of N'Jamena. I'm supposed to e-mail him directions. Sadly, I have the feeling that once we get idiot-boy there, it will be next to impossible to get him to Abeche, but we'll try.

It'll be easier to make it there for a broke stinky mugu than it will be to make it back to Lagos. One way ticket and all, ya know? Here's the call:

http://media.putfile.com/Adamu-Bread-And-Water

Enjoy. Smile

Adamu's soulmate Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 337

fabulous phone call and amazing bait !!!!!

Master Baiter Joined: 22 Dec 2005 Posts: 211

Great stuff! Laughing

Nice work, guys. I can't wait to see how this all pans out!

Not that this sheds much light on the subject, but here's a Youtube video I found of a car traveling along the main road from N'dJamena to Abeche. From what I can gather, the road is simply called "the main road"!

Well, if nothing else, this video should provide some additional laughs, by allowing us to see what the mugu is in for, should he actually take the trip!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ahAuG1h7lcA&feature=related

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 2:23 pm

There are actually two places named Khach Khach in Chad. One is located at 13�6'0''E/18�6'0''N. This is somewhere southwest of Ati and off the main road to Ab�ch�. No road leads there, and it could only be reached on camel back.

Our Khach Khach (what a nice Vietnamese place name) is located at 13�4'0''E/17�18'0'N, close to Am Dj�m�na, on the main road to Ab�ch�.

Tell our friend stay on the main motorway, you know the broad one with the luxury aphalt coating, at Massaguet. Turning left towards Moussoro would bring him to the realm of brother Muammar Ghaddafi. At Ngoura he should continue in direction of Ati.

Tell him, that in spite of his anticipated joy of meeting you soon, it is not advisable to go at a speed of more than 100 mph, since the Chad motorway police keep an eye on speed limits.

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 3:56 pm

I'm new to this but in my mind this lad needs a good slap.
It is only through the efforts of JoJo that he even got to take this journey in the first place. Now he has had the opportunity to travel to a place that he likely would never have seen on his own. And what does he do to show his gratitude? He has done nothing except complain about the food ever since he got there. If he is as hungry as he says he is why hasn't he done something about it such as planting a garden. He has done nothing to enrichen his travel experience such as interacting with the local people, making new friends and spending some quality time at a mosque where he could learn about Islam, the religion of peace. Instead he spends his time focusing on his lack of money. If he is that destitute why doesn't he get himself a job? There must be work around there somewhere. Laughing

Honestly - when some people travel they expect everything to be the same as what they have at home and they fail to do anything to imerse themselves in the local culture. Instead they expect their travel agent (in this case JoJo) to arrange for all their basic needs. It all comes back to his selfish expectations. I say give him a good solid slap! Smile

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 7:07 pm

If there are two Khach Khach's in the country, that could open up a few possibilities - - whichever one he goes to is the wrong one.

Bruin

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 7:48 pm

From N'Djamena, both Khach Khach lie roughly in the same eastward direction towards Ab�ch�. In case this illiterate, moneyless, waterless TWATter makes it to the first one at all and is still able to communicate from there, he could be told that this, of course, is the wrong one, and that the REAL Khach Khach, Chad's Big Apple is somewhere near Ati, and can be easily reached on a 3 days' leisure ride on camel back.

I do envy him for this nothing-inclusive tour. Let's see how many nights in white (missionary) satin are ahead of this brave defender of the TWAT, before he gets to the plane - or was it the plain? May Cheesus be with him.

Would't it be the least we could expect of him, that on his way to Khach Khach he convert some muslims to the real faith of TWAT, and make them join his convoy?

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 9:38 pm

Professor So And So wrote:

wants me to send a car service to collect him.

You could tell him that you are sending (insert the most common African name you can think of) in a white sedan or possibly a van depending on which is running at the time, to collect him. He will be arriving either today or tomorrow if he don't get delayed or burst a tyre along the way.

Imagine this lad frantically waving down every white vehicle that appears at the bus station asking for the man representing Cum Belcher or whichever devious character is involved here (I lose track...) Laughing

Of course your man will break down along the way and then lad has to organise his own transport.

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 9:42 pm

@Prof : I'd say CrazyCanuck and arabella.butafogo are some high potential new members with great view on the status quo. Slap needed, new TWAT members needed Laughing

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:10 pm

Well, nothing in from the TWAT today so far. I pretty much left him hanging in the call by telling him that I will be doing my best to find a car service that will collect him. What I'm going to do next will be something along the lines of what callum suggested, as that was in my mind when I told him I would try to help him meet with us.

@arabella.butafogo - Thanks a lot for those directions. I'll be using them soon for the lad, and yes, you are right it seems. We misspelled "plain" and told the poor boy there will be a "plane" waiting for him in Abeche. Chit.

@ Canuck - I feel that the last thing this guy needs right now is a slap. What he needs is to know that we are heartbroken over his current situation, and that we're going through our own particular brand of hell waiting for him to meet with us. You have to put yourself in this guy's mind for a moment. As far as a verbal slap goes, that won't even (in the slightest bit) compare to the pain he's already feeling being stuck in his situation.

My logic tells me that the guy has NO choice but to move in our direction. He's absolutely broke, stinky, hungry, etc.. and Lagos is nowhere near him. We, on the other hand, are only 320 Km to the NE. That sounds way easier.

What Bruin suggested about having him just pick one Khach Khach and go to it, only to tell him that no matter which one he picked it was wrong, would be great in other baits, but with this, we're hoping to lure this guy into Abeche and then hopefully into Darfur, so we want him moving specifically in that direction.

So essentially I don't feel there is a slap needed, but yes dutchbait...

Definitely more TWATs needed Smile

I will be e-mailing him soon as the translator to tell him that I have prepaid a car service (after I look up the most popular one there, as suggested) to come and collect them. I'll say I paid like 200 USD or so in cash for someone to go pick them up and bring them back. I like the idea of him getting excited EVERY time he sees a cab pull into the bus stop for the next day or two, only to be let down again every time it drives off. After the thieving cabbie drives off with the cash and never makes it to the collection point (also making sure stink-boy is stuck in the park another day or two), I'll be e-mailing him directions and having him get his own car to bring him there and we will pay the driver when they arrive.

As much as I'd love this idiot to hit the road towards Abeche, there doesn't seem to be TOO much of a rush for it. Where the hell is he going to go? It will be even more difficult for them to find a way back to Lagos, and when they get there he will have to face the people he borrowed money from to make it to Chad. What sounds worse, finding a cab to drive you 320 Km or that?

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:54 pm

Once again I have to say that this is pure brilliance. I love seeing a great plan unfold, and a lad stranded but still hopeful. He'll never see the irony. Wink

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:05 am

Juan Freizwidatt wrote:

He'll never see the irony.

Of course. Didn't you know that these are the current fashion among lads?

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 4:20 am

I missed this one earlier (forgot to check one account):

Bored and Stinky Mugu wrote:

DEAR ERIC.
THIS IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR MESSAGE THE CONTENTS OF YOUR MAIL IS WELL UNDERSTOOD.
THE PHONE IS NOT SWICH OFF YOU CAN TRY AGAIN BECAUSE IT IS NOT MINE IT IS USE FOR BUSINESS CENTER.
PLEASE WHICH SAIDE OF KHACH KHACH ARE YOU? I WANT TO KNOW BECAUSE I ASK SOME PEOPLE HERE THEY SAID THAT YOU SHOULD TELL ME THE SAID
WHETHER FROM THE EAST WEST SOUTH OR NORTH SIDE .IF I TELL YOU THAT I AM OKAY I AM A LIER I AM NOT.
IT IS ONLY GOD THAT IS IN MY SIDE. PLEASE GIVE ME THE DIRECTION FROM THE KHACH KHACH SO THAT I WILL NOT MIXE ROAD.
I HAVE NOT BEEN HERE BEFORE THE WORST THING IS THAT I DONT HAVE MONEY WITH ME HERE.
I WILL ALSO PLEASED WITH YOU IF IT IS POSSIBLE YOU CAN COME HERE PLEASE AND MEET ME SO THAT I CAN GO WITH YOU/
THIS IS MY SIXDAYS NOW STREDED HERE IN NDJAMENA PLEASE DO SOMETHING FOR GOD SAKE PLEASE.
I WANT YOU TO CONTINUE TRY THE NUMBER SO THAT WE CAN TALK AND GIVE ME THE DIRECTION OF WERE YOU ARE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR MUTUAL COOPERATION AND GOD BLESS YOU/

He just got this from the translator:

Quote:

I have GREAT news!! I met a man yesterday that said he would drive to N'Djamena to collect you. He told me yesterday that he would meet me here at the farmer's house first thing this morning to collect the cash for the trip, and sure enough, he just left. I gave him 200 USD to come and collect you and your brother from the motor park. I told him he is to keep 150 USD and give you 50 USD to hand out as you see fit to the kind people that have helped you find food and let you use their phone. The driver's name is Abderaman and he's driving a white 4x4 vehicle. He told me that he lives in N'Djamena and knows the city very well, so that with the phone number I provided to him for you he said there should be no problem. Please let me know BEFORE YOU LEAVE N'DJAMENA that he has collected you and that you are on your way. This is truly a blessing. I don't know how long it will take him to get there, but do expect the call. Stay strong brother. We're waiting here for you!!

The sun is about to rise on yet another glorious day in Chad, so let's hope that Abderaman can be trusted!

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 4:46 am

Q. PLEASE WHICH SAIDE OF KHACH KHACH ARE YOU

A.

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 10:23 am

Edit: Language NSFW

Well, the TWAT messed up, BIG TIME.

It was around 11 AM in Chad and according to readnotify he never read the mail I sent telling him that I was sending a driver to collect him. Naturally, the driver had problems reaching him on the phone, and couldn't find him in the park, so he turned around to head back to Abeche without them. Crying or Very sad

The driver is now apparently keeping the 200 bucks I sent him with. This is NOT good!

http://media.putfile.com/Adamu-Misses-Driver

Thanks to Crimson Sapien for making the call. God knows where he found so much traffic on that shitty-ass single-lane road.

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 11:26 am

Sorry for the double post, but felt it was worth it for people watching this thread. It looks like idiot-stink-bag has NO CLUE what happened in that last call. He still thinks there is a driver coming to get him. Now, unfortunately, the translator will have to make a call to explain to him that the driver just called me and was furious. I'll have to tell him he blew it by not checking his e-mail in the morning, and on top of that, by not being in the Park to be collected. This guy can't get ANYTHING right! At least he admitted he's not in the park.

Rock Kicker wrote:

I AM NOW VERY HAPY FOR YOUR ARRANGEMENT.
PLEASE I KNOW YOU GIVE HIM OUR PHONE NUMBER SO THAT HE CALL ME AS SOON AS HE COME HERE.
I AM STILL WAITING FOR HIM TO COME AND COLLECT ME AND MY BROTHER HERE IN THE MOTOR PARK BUT YOU DO NOT GIVE ME THE NUMBER OF HIS VEHICLE.
TELL HIM TO CALL ME . SO THAT I WILL KNOW HIM AND FOLLOW HIM THERE.
ONCE HE COME HERE I WILL INFORMED YOU THERE IS NO PROBLEM FOR THAT.
I THANK YOU ONCEMORE FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND ARRANGEMENT.
PLEASE YOU CAN ALSO CALL ME LATER AROUND 5PM TO FIND OUT IF HE HAS COME OR NOT OR IF YOU HAVE HIS PHONE NUMBER YOU TELL HIM TO COME INFRONT OF CENTRE SOCIAL SAN FIELD THAT IS WERE WE ARE WAITING FOR HIM BUT I WILL ENTER INSIDE THE PARK NOW AND WAIT FOR HIM/
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU.
BEST REGARDS.

My reply:

Quote:

I'm now very confused. The driver just called me and said he was unable to pick you up. He said he spoke with you a little while ago and he is VERY upset. He told me he tried calling the number for hours and it wouldn't go through. After he couldn't reach you on the phone, he decided to just drive to the motor park to find you but he said you were not there. I'm really confused right now. Did you speak with him on the phone? He was yelling and screaming and cursing at me for sending him there. He told me he is keeping the 200 USD I gave him and is heading back to Abeche now. I don't know what is going on. Please, did he call you?? We're having a very hard time here. we're waiting for you to meet us, and fortunately the farmer has been kind enough to let us give him money to stay here, but I'm afraid we're wearing out our welcome. Hamdan is worried sick over you and also is very worried for his sick relative near Abeche. Please tell me what is going on!!

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 11:46 am

Thanks Professor for letting me vent on your Lad for a bit, real fun using the voice modulator on him. Laughing

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:04 pm

@Professor So: Maybe he needs to be more visible to the driver next time. If he had half a brain he would stand in some wide-open spot along the main road, holding up a large version of his TWAT sign. It shouldn't be too hard, it's only 105 degrees F today. What would Jesus do?

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:35 pm

It is clear to me that this lad is spending most of his time and what little energy he has left focusing on those gnawing hunger pangs rather than working on getting his lazy arse to KHACH KHACH. He could have walked there by now!
When I think of the challenges that 3d Smith met on his journey through the far east, and the risks that he took, a chill runs down my spine and tears well up in my eyes. Why can't this lad be as resourceful as 3d was?
Laughing

Given that he is destitute and streded in a foreign land without food or water perhaps he could contact his family for a little financial assistance. Might I be so bold as to suggest a Western Union money transfer. Embarassed

That would give him the money to travel further from home and will also shut off that avenue of escape for him in the future. He won't be able to call them a second time for a money transfer to finance his eventual trip home. Twisted Evil

I'm growing weary with all of his whining. After all, none of us told him that being a lad was going to be easy. He made the conscious decision all on his own to pursue this lifestyle! Razz

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 2:03 pm

@Prof
I'm glad to be of some help here, too. Should you need more place names in Chad, I can supply plenty of them, all real genuine place, that can be located and visited, most of them by foot. If someone takes such a magnificent tour to such a hospitable country, he will want to visit as many places as he possibly can, won't he? When this fellow, after a longlasting career in muguland, will retire somewhere in the far future, he will be glad to tell his granchildren Vera, Chuck and Dave, about all those lovely Chad places, TWAT allowed him to see.

@CrazyCanuck
Western Union is the magic solution to many, if not all, problems in that part of the world. So your proposition may sound very logical to our friend.

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 3:02 pm

Very funny, PS&S! Very Happy

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 4:01 pm

@Crimson Sapien

Fantastic call. Laughing

Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 5:41 am

@CS- nearly pissed myself laughing at that! "You hangin around in the back havin fun with Rosie 5 finger??"

Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 10:17 am

Well, I called stinky a little while ago and guess what? Yep, still at the bus station! The call was incredibly boring so I'm not going to post it. I called as the translator, and basically told him what happened with the driver yesterday. Being that he's dumber than a box of rocks, he still thought someone was coming for him. I instructed him to go to his e-mail and check it. I guess some lent him a little more money to do that. This just came in:

Malnutritioned Mugu wrote:

DEAR ERIC.
THIS IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR MESSAGE. ACTUALLY WHAT HAPPEN YESTERDAY IS THAT
WE HAVE A CALL AND I ANSWERED IT BUT HE DID NOT EXPLAIN HIMSELF TO US I ASK HIM WHO HE IS HE DID NOT RESPONSE
WHAT HE DID IS TO START TO LAUGH AT US AND DID NOT SAY ANYTHING.
IT IS WHEN THE PERSON THAT ASSIST US GIVE ME MONEY TO GO AND CHECK EMAIL YESTERDAY THAT I NOW KNOW THAT YOU HAVE SEND SOMEONE TO COME AND PICK US HERE.
I AM NOT HAPPY TO WHAT HAPPEN TO US YESTERDAY .PLEASE IF YOU ARE SENDING SOME ONE HERE TRY AND GIVE THE DRIVE THIS (ADDRESS:CENTRE SOCIAL SAN FIELD TWO )AND
THE PHONE NUMBER TO CALL ME HERE.PLEASE ALSO IF YOU DO THAT YOU CALL ME SO THAT I WILL KNOW THAT YOU HAVE SEND SOMEONE TO PICK US.
WHY BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ACCESS TO EMAIL THAT IS WHY I MISS THE PERSON YOU SEND AND HE DID NOT BEHAVE WELL BECAUSE HE DID NOT INTRUDCE HIMSELF TO US THAT
HE COME TO PICK US THAT YOU SEND HIM TO COME. ALL THE SAME PLEASE ERIC WE ARE WORRIED HERE YOU TRY AND MAKE THE SAME ARRANGEMENT AND LET ME KNOW SO THAT I WILL BE ALERT TO WAIT.
MY FAMILY ARE TOO WORRIED ABOUT US NOW SINCE A WEEK AND TWO DAYS NOW WE ARE OUT WITHOUT ANY COMMUNICATION AT ALL.
PLEASE DO SOMETHING NOW PLEASE AT LEAST BY TODAY YOU SEND THE PERSON AND LASTEST TOMORROW WE ARE THERE WITH YOU SO THAT WE TRAVEL TOGETHER TO ABECHE PLEASE I WILL BE VERY GRATEFUL FOR THAT
PLEASE AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE PERSON GIVE ME THE NAME OF THE PERSON THE VEHICLE NUMBER AND THE COLOUR OF THE VEHICLE PLEASE AND YOU TELL HIM TO COME STREIGHT TO THE ADDRESS THAT I GAVE YOU
SO THAT HE CAN COME HERE AND CALL ME BECAUSE I HEARD THAT THERE IS MANY MOTOR PARK IN NDJAMENA BUT WITH THE ADDRESS OF THE ONE I GAVE YOU THAT IS HE WILL BE ABLE TO LOCATE US HERE AND PICK WITH EASY
WITHOUT PROBLEM .
PLEASE ONE THING LOOK AT THE PERSON THAT CAN UNDERSTAND A BIT ENGLISH OR BROKE .OR IF YOU DONT SEE THERE IS NO PROBLEM WITH THE DIRECTION OF THE ADDRESS I GAVE YOU. YOU GIVE IT TO THE DRIVER THAT WILL COME HERE TODAYOR LASTEST TOMORROW PLEASE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING GOD BLESS YOU
BEST REGARDS.
ADxxx
DONT FAIL TO CALL ME PLEASE

I know you can never really trust a lad for shit, but I actually believe this guy. They have NOTHING. Well, they have time, I guess. I bet some rich people out there wish they just had a day to simply sit around and think about stuff. The grass is always greener, I suppose. Anyway, I have no clue what to do next, but I'm sure nothing will be happening today anyway. It will take AT LEAST one more day to find another English speaking driver. I'm not even sure we should send one. I think it might be time to give him the directions and tell him he needs to find someone that will allow him to pay when he gets to Khach Khach. I'll wait to talk to YW before I say anything in response, as I feel moving him to Khach Khach in that manner will be checkmate at this point, and I kinda like listening to him complain.

Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 1:08 pm

Quote:

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING

Good thing for him that you're so patient and understanding. Smile

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