Desmond and Churchill: **Calabar Confirmation**

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 1:40 pm

Churchill to Roger Whipple

Quote:

dudue,

that is either a terrible mispelling or Churchill was implying that Whipple is a piece of crap - i hope you aren't going to stand for the Peanut!

Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:21 pm

I know, I know -- you're wondering what happened with Desmond and Churchill today. Especially after this:

Quote:

You know quite well ththat the delay is not from us this time around and we are not going to take another picture .

Well....obviously:

Churchill to Roger (Mon. March 24):

Quote:

dude,

If you insist that we are going to take the security photo again,you have to give us time to raise the fund. Moreso, the airport is a bit far from where we are right now.However, let the security photo be at place where we wouldn't encounter problems with airport security officials.

I learnt that there are no photographers in the airport that means we have to go out and look for one,develop,scan and send it to you.It involves a lot
of work so you have to exercise patience.

When exactly is the flight leaving for london.

I am expecting your reply immediately.

Roger Whipple to Churchill (March 24):

Quote:

Churchill:

I have a few options for the flight tonight - they have agreed to put a hold on four tickets on three different flights, because I was unsure how long it would take you to get the photo.

There is a flight leaving tonight at 7:25 and another at 10:17. The other good thing about meeting at the airport is that we can go directly to the ticket booth and I can pay for our reserved tickets then and there.

The security procedures at the airport is simple. The photo must be taken where your location can be easily verified (in front of the main airport terminal sign, etc.) McClain would prefer the photo to be taken standing next to security personnel. I am sure if you are courteous they will be very accommodating - they must deal with people from out of town all the time.

If you are stopped or have any problems, show them your letter of introduction. I would recommend showing them the French letter first (it is polite) and then if they do not read French, you may show them the English version.

Be wary of WHO you show it too, however! Please do not forget that we are carrying US Passports - which are very very valuable documents. The utmost security must be maintained!

Let me know when I should send your new security passphrase. Once your photo is sent in, I will keep you updated as to when you should head back to the airport to meet us.

Good work, guys. I can't wait to go over your housing options!!

It occurs to me here that I haven't explained about their "Letter of Introduction". A while back they were getting a little hung up about not having appropriate identification to give Agent John McClain when they met him to get their passports and requested a Letter of Introduction. French is the national language of Cameroon (where I hope to elbow them into) and I figured there's a fairly decent chance that a border town like Calabar might have a lot of French speakers too. So I sent them a letter that essentially said:

Quote:

This is simply a test to see if you are able to speak and understand French. If you are able to, please write me back and let me know. This will affect your upcoming travel plans. It should be noted that this note should not be shared with anyone. I wish you all the very best of time in Cameroon.

They responded very befuddled. I then told them THAT letter was just a draft, and the following letters were the real ones that they should show to any police or security officers they meet. They will be required to be shown upon meeting up with Agent McClain. There is a French and English version, for their convenience:

ENGLISH version:

Quote:

To Whom It May Concern:

My name is I am from Nigeria and I am currently attempting to receive my US Passport so that I may enter your country to continue my schooling. I have an accompanying letter in French that I will encourage you to read. Please allow me to pass, or speak with your supervisor.

Please give me no trouble, and I would be happy to show you any other forms of identification I have, or comply with your standards and regulations in any way.

Now that you have read and understood this letter, please direct me to the area where I can find the representatives of Professor Harold Hill or give me the proper forms to complete.

Thank you very much,

-Professor Harold Hill
Citizen (USA)

FRENCH version: - Special thanks to Duckmeister for the translation!

Quote:

To Whom It May Concern:

My name is I am a Nigerian scammer and am currently trying to steal money from innocent people, or sneak into your country without a passport to commit various crimes. I do not speak French, and do not know what this letter says. I encourage you to please detain me or put me under arrest.

At the very least, please give me as much trouble as you can. I'd be happy to fight you, if you prefer.

Above all, I would ask that you please do not tell me what this letter says. If you tell me that I will be able to reach Professor Harold Hill I will go absolutely anywhere you want.

Treat me roughly,

-Professor Harold Hill
A Concerned Citizen

They were also given new security procedures for the airport...

Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:23 pm

I am double posting in the sake of clarity (for me if no one else!)

They mucked around a bunch today getting me the new photo - I'm assuming because they had to walk everywhere Laughing

Imagine my surprise when I got this:

Quote:

Goodday DUde,

we finally succeded in taking the security photo at the airport landmark sign. Although we had some problems when we wanted to take photo inside the airport the security men came and almost get us arested it was after we show them the letter and some other document that they allow us to go and the haed of the security men told us that we can not take any photo and that is out of band by the government of calabar and this is one of the problem we got at maiduguri airport of which Professor Harold Hill was aware bof it, we pray that you people should just take this one and let us get out of this state today.

Remember the relationship between civilians and security men in Nigeria is not cordial unlike US where security interact with civilians without any fear,I explained this to Professor harold also.

There is no money left to scan the birth certificate,we will come along with them.there is something you do not understand , we are short of cash can't you understand.do nyou want us to stal ,i told you we sold our mobile phones to raise the fund we used in taking this security photo and what is left with us is just our transport fare to the airport.

I am expecting your mail so that we go straight to the airport landmark sign and wait.We have wasted a lot of time on this.Please consider the health situation fo Harold Hill ,he told me that our not been able to come
yo the US up till now contributed to his ill health.Dude lets do something and make him happy to night.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Churchill and DESMOND.

But the picture they sent was terrible! I don't even want to post it here, so you'll just have to wait. It's even more unclear than the first one they tried to submit in front of the anchor. We argue a bit, and here are some of his highlights:

Quote:

oKAY GUY .
sorry there is nothing we can do right now. may be we forget about this all if you or your agent can not take that one maybe you send us money to take another if not let just forget about this project okay.

Quote:

I have told you that I sold my mobile phone and right now I am only left with just 3100 in dollars which is just $2 so what do you want me to do I am not having any money on me again and there is nobody I can get money from this is not my STATE okay

Tell him that is he can not collect that he should forget it. I see is because I am a black man that why he doing all this for me.

Quote:

I have contacted my cousin regarding this incident but he insisted he has no money on him,because the one he gave me I have not refunded it.

Quote:

Ask Mr harold how many times I have traveled out my state just for this project,at the end of the day you people we disappoint us.

Anyway we have tried our best to make you people understand the stuff we are made up,but you people are acting as if you are racist.

Quote:

I do not know what to do right now.Infact I am confused.

Time to bring up some of the shadier "entrance exam procedures":

Quote:

Churchill:

Dude, I know that you have been treated better than most students - is it true that Professor Hill let you guys skip your admissions essay to get into the school - and fill out the Personality Questionnaire, instead?

That is seriously nice, man. He's been really good to you. I would cut him some slack.

The point is, I am willing to come meet you at ANY time to give you your package and passports - but I just can't do it until the sign you're holding can be READ.

I am open to suggestions. What is your plan?

After a rather comedic pause (I thought) I get this:

Quote:

Subject: everything will be fine tomorrow
dude,

Can we make it tommorrow,because we are short of cash right now.Can't you understand!!.

had been there money we would have done it.

Just talk to him he will undervstand.

Tommorrow will be ok let go look for money.

Please do we need another security sign and location or we have to use the previous one.

please let us know if there is any other information we need during the taking of the security photo to avoid mistakes.

If there is need for another security sign and location kindly send it now.

I promise everything we go well tomorrow. by the grace of God.

Churchill.

Master Baiter Joined: 23 Jan 2008 Posts: 152

Peanut wrote:

I'd be happy to fight you, if you prefer.

LOL, I just imagined the puzzled face of the police man who reads this sentence. I hope they will use that letter! Very Happy

Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:29 pm

Now they have no phones, communication is breaking down, money is gone, someone is going to be having a very rough few days. Twisted Evil

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:43 pm

Too funny, Peanut! I think you just might be able to keep the lads in town for a few more days, hopefully they will find someone who cares about arresting Nigerian scammers in Calabar. Laughing

Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:03 pm

Peanut,
Hahahahahah!
I love the French version! Thumbs up

Outstanding!

Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:04 pm

I was eating a Snickers bar and almost choked on yes, a peanut when I read that French version. Sheer lunacy! Very Happy

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 1:28 pm

I knew they could get it right

Laughing

Quote:

Goodday Dude.

How was your night? hope you guys really had a good time.

Thank GOD that we were able to retake another security photo today.

It was not that esy for us to come up with the needed amount for us to retake the security photo but all glory by to GOD that we can come up with it.

Please Tell agent MCclain that we LOVE him as well.

Dude we are already with our luggages waiting to receive the comfirmation from you guys so that we move to the Airport and wait you guys there.

Thanks for every thing may God bless you both in Jesus name.

ChurcHill and DESMOND.

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 2:33 pm

^^^ Amazing, Peanut truely amazing. clapping

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 2:59 pm

Amazing how dumb those lads are.

bow_down

I would love to see a pic of them giving the French version of the letter to a security guard or police.

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:20 pm

Peanut, again Thumbs up

Outstanding work.

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:34 pm

I love it!

Master Baiter Joined: 01 Oct 2006 Posts: 237

~ Peanut,

Ok, the "Dude" they picked up from your "dude" is funny enough alone. But "Goodday Dude" is even funnier! Laughing

I wonder what else your "dude" could get them saying...they seem to adapt well to his "lingo"

They provide laughs just at the right time when I need them in RL Very Happy

Peanut, you're a master with these two clowns clapping

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:38 pm

WOW! I also love the coincidence in the pic in the top left corner,
"Never been done. Go do it."
hehehe
Super trophy, dude. bow_down

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:46 pm

Tragedy!!

Roger Whipple to the Lads:

Quote:

GUYS

I don't have much teim so i'm writing to you as quick as I am able, guys you've got to listen to me we are in a lot of trouble. McClain was shot on our way to the airport by those guys I saw following us around from the road last time. He'sdead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our car overturned and McClain killed one of them before he was shot in the chest. I grabbed his wallet and his gun and his briefcase with the passports in it and took off. I'm in Ikang, but I saw them tear down the street just a little bit ago and I know they're going to come looking for me. I gotta get out of here. You've got to come get me. I have all you stuff and we need to get out of here as soon as possible.

I'll try to keep PRof. Hill updated, but listen dudes if you get here before they get me I'll just HAND these to you - Id ont care. I'll give youthe passports and money and whatever else you want, but get here and we'll get on the first plane to ANYWHERE.

ohhhhhh god my heart is racing I have ot leave - i'll try to find a place to email you later

Professor Hill is due to return from the hospital sometime today...imagine his shock when he reads the morning paper!

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:03 pm

AWSOME JOB bow_down

Not quite a Newb Joined: 07 Mar 2008 Posts: 27

My god,
this is unbelievably great.
Is the entire adventure posted somewhere?

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:49 pm

I thought it was over a while back and started the process of publishing it......and then it took on an entirely new life of it's own!

Now it's finally winding down again (I can't imagine them going too much further after this!! Razz

) and I will take another stab at writing it all up. Past posts on these lads can be found:

Initial Application Process: http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=114618
Passport Application and Coleman Gallery Scholarship: http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1009632
Benin City Safari: http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=125347
Maiduguri Safari: http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=126650

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:36 pm

Their credulity strains my credulity. I'd bet the word "gullible" isn't even in their dictionary.

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:59 pm

This might just finally be the end of them! You can bet their tails are between their legs.

March 27 - Churchill to Roger Whipple

Quote:

Dude,

where are you/ tell me where you are I will come and
get you out .

I am equal to whar ever they want.

Reach me as son as possible.

Churchill.

March 27 - Desmond to Roger Whipple:

Quote:

YOU ARE A BIG FOOL

March 27 - Churchill to Professor Hill

Quote:

Harold,

I am very disappointed in you despite all your pleadings that we should coperate with Rogers and his men which we did in order not to let you down you still went ahead to act childish.

You pretended to be sick,why is it that it is when Rogers and his framed up that agent MCclain was killed you that you resurfaced.This was exactly what happened in Benin,Maiduguri,Abuja and finally Calabar.

What are you going to tell me now that caused Rogers and his men not to hand-over the passport to us.Do you still have any reason?absolutely no.

I went to Calabar so that you wouldn't lose your job as you claim.

Mary is now in the Hospital because we can not even take care of her feeding and accomodation,Since your men refused to give out the money neither the passport.

I guess this is the end of the road.Don't you ever contact me again,i have seen that you are very ungrateful and you don't have sympathy for your fellow human beings.

We took all the five security pictures we were asked to take ,on the day of the final US passport pick,Rogers and his men framed up a childish and funny story that agent MCclain was killed.

In a nutshell,I have done everything to make sure I satisfy you and displease desmond who is on my neck.

I am leaving for Lagos now.Send my passport to Lagos if such thing is really existing.God Almighty knew I have tried my best,but is unfortunate you people are heartless and wicked.I should hjave known that.

Everything time you claim yopu do not know what is going on where as your the brain behind all this.

Try to turn a new leave because this kind of lies and character wouldn't take you anywhere instead it will tarnish your reputation and image.

I believe a word is enough for the wise.

Finally,if you do not send my US passport and Scholarship money,you will not have peace because I was very plain with you.

Goodday,

Churchill.

Desmond to Professor Hill

Quote:

i am disapointed in you.

You can go ahead and take the US pasport and scholarship,I am done with you.

Don't you ever mail me without sending my US passport and Scholarship money.

I have realized that you are a scammer,if you are not then proof yourself.

Mary in the hospital just because of you anf your childish character.

I will try and leave for lagos immediately and continue my life.

Go on playing prangs,Nemesis will caught up with you.

Desmond.

I finally send them the article above (trying to time it out just right) with this e-mail:

Professor Hill to the Lads:

Quote:

Boys,

Well I hope you are satisfied with yourselves.

Since you have refused to come to the assistance of your International Student Liaison he is now god knows where. I have attached an article that I read the other day in the news.

I just don't know what to do with you two anymore.

We'll see if they reply! Very Happy

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:12 am

Brilliant baiting, Peanut! Those last lad emails are priceless stuff.
Good luck on their continuing adventures. Laughing

Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:14 am

Comic lad wrote:

Send my passport to Lagos if such thing is really existing

I love how they never quite completely write you off. The door is left open a crack, just in case. This is bloody genius, Ivor.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:24 am

^^ You are right, and with that, Peanut will take them on another adventure, i'm sure of it. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:32 am

Hahahaha,
Peanut, I am sooooo sad to see this end!

Five thumbs:

Thumbs up

Desmond and Churchill: Calabar Confirmation	View next topic View previous topic