Another GOAT

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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:49 pm

Alas,he did not have a velociraptor.I now have him looking for a humpty back camel.I believe the unicorns are already spoken for.

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:45 am

I do hope that the Good Pastor is going to comply with the necessary CITES documentation and complete form A55-Vv-IP3 for each of the animals he is going to send.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/2321729/CITES-A55VvIP3

I especially hope that he takes careful note of the requirements of question 2.17, if anyone has ordered a bull elephant from him our lad may need to purchase a wide-angle lens Smile

Here's page 1 as a .jpg

If you'd rather hit the lad with image files, the full set is here.
http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj144/SunshineTheHorse/CITES-A55-Vv-IP3-page1.jpg
http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj144/SunshineTheHorse/CITES-A55-Vv-IP3-page2.jpg
http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj144/SunshineTheHorse/CITES-A55-Vv-IP3-page3.jpg
http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj144/SunshineTheHorse/CITES-A55-Vv-IP3-page4.jpg
http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj144/SunshineTheHorse/CITES-A55-Vv-IP3-page5.jpg
http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj144/SunshineTheHorse/CITES-A55-Vv-IP3-page6.jpg

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:58 am

He's digging his heels in with my second order until I settle the first one. We have reached a bit of an impasse. My accountant is playing hardball until we get the second invoice for the Dalai Llama (for a Chinese client)...

Quote:

Can you also confirm on the invoice that the Dalai Llama is in good
condition and has not been roughed up as my Chinese contact particularly
wants to do that himself.

Quote:

Plus my Ten(10)Push Me Pull Yous (LLAMAS)and six (6) Bi-Polar Bears for experiments in Global Warning and sexual orienteering.

Basically no second invoice, no payment.

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 2:39 pm

The good pastor is getting curt and boring with me. I've taken to writing all my messages in haiku.

To Pastor Balls I wrote:

Subject: GUINEA SWINE

OH HELLO NEWMAN!
I can't go to Cotonou.
You'll have to ship them.

What does this all mean? :
send for the exportation
I don't understand.

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 3:15 pm

He does not have a humpty back camel,but is contacting someone in Niger about getting one.I now have him working on long necked geese and chimpanzees.Certainly they must be easier.

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 3:17 pm

^^^ Imagine a shipping crate filled with cats an' rats an' elephants!

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 3:23 pm

Yes thats what I'm working around to.He will have to break it into a number of shipments-wouldnt want the elephants trampling on everything

Not quite a Newb Joined: 10 Mar 2008 Posts: 34

Haha read this:

Dear G33,

We couldn't meet all your demand but we have the ff.
1 Zebra $17,800
19 Parrots $ 100 each
1 Butterfree $ 27
Honeybees & mice. $5 & $16 each

Make a choice now, thanks.
P4st0r B4ll4s.

For those who aren't 90's kids (ftw!), a butterfree is a pokemon, namely this one:

I cant wait to get mine!

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:03 pm

$17,800 for a zebra is disgraceful, make him justify that amount.
Is the animal registered with the relevant authorities, vaccinated, neutured?
Is it domesticated? Do snakes have armpits? Do ants have arse-holes? etc..

As for my bait, I've give him a bit of a slap for googling pictures of the dodo... My boss is angry but I'm willing to give him another chance.

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:50 pm

^^ I was buying Zebra for $2000 in another bait recently

Just out of curiosity I rang a real animal shipping agency today and to transort a pet dog from Benin to London would cost around $2000 and require a sh*t load of paperwork, vaccinations, etc.

So Past0r B3ll4s's prices are a bargain,

Not quite a Newb Joined: 10 Mar 2008 Posts: 34

Oh the fun im going to have with the amount of forms that are going to be sent his way...

oh so many forms...

SOO SOO many forms...

Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 11:12 am

<br>Just got my second invoice from the good Pastor Ballsack. Another Word document...

Quote:

MAILING ADDRESS. 03 BP 1037 COTONOU.
Tel. +229 93 92 38 94. Republic of Benin.
21th March,2008
P/I.No.A/0014-08

PROFORMA INVOICE

Quantity Description Unit Price Amount
12 Llamas $4,100 $49,200
6 Bi-Polars $3,200 $19,200

All includes feeding, vaccination, shipment and miscellaneous
Charges.

TOTAL. 18 Animals $68,400

PAYMENT: By Western Union to Kwaku Amponsah prior to shpt.
ATTENTION. CANDY STRAP0N
CEO - HENSON & BEDGE5 ANIMAL LABORATORY INC.
419 FUDGEPACKERS LANE
LOWER EXTREMITIES
RIMMING
MUCH BINDING IN THE MARSH
LONDON
W99 49XX
ENGLAND .
Pls sign and send this P/I duly signed, as final confirmation of this order.

Accepted by: Truly yours,
Candy STRAP0N Pastor BALLA5 Walas

---------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------
Mr. Adjovi Abel Edward Lin, Export Manager

The lad is getting greedy. Them Push Me Pull You (LLAMAS) certainly don't come cheap. Shocked

Sadly, he hasn't included my Daili Llama which is urgently required by my Chinese customer, so I need another invoice. Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

^^^ $68,000 by Western Union? Does he realize how many separate payments that would need? I'm sure I don't need to tell you that's a damn good chance to get a bank account - if he has one, and if he doesn't then you get loads of WU/DHS forms.

Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:01 pm

^^^I'm going to ask him to total all my orders to date and then I will make payment by bank transfer to save time - as recommended by my accountant.

Sadly WU and banks are all closed till Tuesday because of the Easter festivities over here. I can hear his teeth grinding as I type this, which is nice! Twisted Evil

Another option I'm considering is telling him my accountant has posted the first payment by cheque by snail mail yesterday and he only just told me. Not sure where that will lead, but will piss the lad off no end.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:14 pm

My husband is going to get his birthday present!

Quote:

Dana,
3 crocodiles cost $2,715 and 12 doves cost $1,540, totalling
$4,256 with shipping. Just send to my church secretary
Kwaku Amponsah with all the details by Western Union.
Thanks,
Pastor Ballas.
========
from Dana Scully hide details 8:38 am (0 minutes ago)
to Pastor Ballas <[email protected]>
date Mar 21, 2008 8:38 AM
subject Re: RE : Re: RE : Re: RE : Re: RE : regarding animals that must leave your sanctuary

Dear Pastor,

That sounds like a very fair price. I will go to Western union and
make my payment later today. My husband will be so surprised!
Regards,
Dana

Oh, darn! The Western Union agent needs an address to send the payment, and a secret question and answer! Now what do I do? Very Happy

Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:27 pm

I'm jealous of all the fun you're having. Pastor B. just informed me that he does not have any Invisible Pink unicorns. (He does, however, have black, brown and white ones).

Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:18 pm

The good pastor is getting impatient:

Quote:

Don't waste time on fruitless questions, dodos are available just
place an order and it'll be sent to you.

My boss is getting pissed off:

Quote:

Don't you understand? My boss asked you for a photograph of your dodo birds, and instead you just took a random picture from the internet.
My boss thinks you're a scammer and will continue to think so unless you send me a proper photograph and prove him wrong.

What a tool.

Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:18 pm

Quote:

Dear John,

We are having 3 hump back camels and a chimp.
Thanks,
Pastor Ballas.

Does this mean he has 3 camels,or a camel with 3 humps?I think I need pictures.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:39 pm

Quote:

Pastor Ballas to me
show details 12:55 pm (2 hours ago)
Dana,
I am looking forward to you for payment but be quick that
our offices would be closed in other to speed up shipping
proceedure on Tuesday. Remember to add the details by
email.
Thanks,
Pastor Ballas.

Be quick? Nahhhhhh, I'm an old lady. I'm slow.
Very Happy

Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 9:31 pm

I've always beef quite fond of cornered Wolverines. I'm ready to pay handsomly if he can ship.

Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 12:07 am

He is going to be one pissed off scammer by the time WE are through with him. Just think how many times he will be in and out of WU with his tail between his legs Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 1:41 am

^^By the time he gets all these details, forms, and invoices sent out and finalized for all of us, he won't even have time to visit WU. Laughing

Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 5:12 am

Once I get my invoice for the Daili Llama for my Chinese client I'm going to start on the Twelve (12) Days Of Christmas modality...It's never too early you know!

"Excuse me Mr Mugu do you have any partridges? I've just planted a pear tree in the back garden and my life partner thought a partridge would set it off to perfection. Personally I would just ring its neck and eat the b*stard. Also, do do you have any Turtle Doves? I need two of those. etc etc"

This lad is just so much fun.

BTW, can I suggest you get him off the WU and onto MG. Simply because he has to get of his arse to check the MG details, unlike WU. Also any bank account details would be good to pass on to Allan.

Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 8:27 am

The sucker hasn't even sent me an invoice. I kept asking for exotic animals and he just told me he had dogs. I said I wanted about a dozen dogs "with all their legs" and I haven't heard from him since. Bah, you all are keeping him too busy!

Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 10:28 am

It's a shame we can only put dumb lads through this kind of thing, having said that I think he ditched me because my boss was being paranoid.. time for a re-bait.