Another GOAT

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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:53 pm

Ooh, somoene do Pacific Northwest Tree Octopuses!

EDIT: Neva mind, I've got two addys.

Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 1:48 pm

bobby kaye wrote:

He has both kinds of eagles...Ordinary AND bald!!!

Oh you got lucky, my eagle is on backorder.

Quote:

The African Fish eagle had requested for in our sister sanctuary so I let you
know about it later,

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 4:59 pm

I just sent this:

Quote:

I was wondering if you had Frumpy Crocodiles, and Doolittle Ladhugger Birds with pink plumage?

It's Eliza's Eaterversary, so I sure hope he comes through. Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 10 Mar 2008 Posts: 34

haha the amount of people that have replied to this, he must think he really has hit the jackpot Smile

Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 6:39 pm

The good Pastor has confirmed my latest order for 15 5ugar Mice as well as the 20 Smoking Beagles(DOGS) which I previously ordered, although @ $27 each the mices seems a bit steep!

Another order just gone in for 12(Twelve) Tr0user Snakes! Very Happy

to add to my growing menagerie.

Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 7:24 pm

Lame, I asked for tasmanian devils and I got this reply:

Quote:

M0nkly,
Sorry, your choices are not here but if alsatian, Canadian, French
and German dogs etc.are available.
Thanks,
P4stor B4ll4s.

So I asked him for some German Bl1tzkr1eg or Fr3nch L1mburg3r H0unds. We'll see if he has them in stock Rolling Eyes

Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 10:27 pm

He has unicorns and tree octopi, but not tasmanian devils?

I wonder if he got suspicious about all the strange requests he's getting.

Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 8:31 am

^^ I hope not. I have the plans for the shipping crate for the crocodile he's promised to send me all ready for him Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 9:02 am

I really wanted a good siggy line from this so I sent him the following:

Quote:

Dear P4st0r B4ll45,
Thank you for your recnt email regarding your wildlife centre. There is a type of bird we are interested in, but it is a very rare species and it is native to Kenya in the rift valley. It is called an Anus and it comes in two varieties. There is a brown-eyed Anus and a creamed Anus. These are both very rare and valuable species but im not sure if you have these because we are having trouble finding people who sell them. We are willing to pay $10'000USD for a brown-eyed Anus or $20'000USD for a creamed Anus. If you have any these we want to hear from you.
xxxxxxxxx

very soon after, I got this reply:

Quote:

Hello xxxxxxx,
Yes, We are having only 1 brown eyed and an Kalahari ostrich if interested.
Thanks,
P45t0r 84ll45.

Oh well, maybe next time.
...what the heck is a Kalahari ostrich?

Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:30 pm

Yay! He lives. But there are awful scenes.

Quote:

Dear ******,

Truly, our African churches grow day in day because of wars,
poverty, awful scenes, marriage, family and land disputes.

1 Male Sable Antelope........$675
1 Female Sable Antelope ....$700 (all are tropical types)
1 Male German Shepherd ....$357
1 Male Belgian Shepherd.....$357
1 Female Belgian Shepherd..$405
1 Female Nile Crocodile......$1,450

All include shipment.
Thanks.
Pastor Ballas.

And he does the shipping! For that price I hope he isn't putting them all in the same box or all I'll get is one very fat crocodile Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:58 pm

Things are moving along for me:

Quote:

Pastor Ballas to me

Dear Dana,
We only have 5 Nile Crocodiles and 25 doves, if interested.
But, mine is necessary rather shipment.
Thanks,
Pastor Ballas.

--------

Dana Scully to Pastor

Dear Pastor

Are the Nile Crocodiles as friendly as Frumpy Crocodiles? If so, I'd like all of them.
What color are the doves? I'm hoping they are pink, like I'm looking for. Please let me
know what I need to do to aquire these animals. Thank You.
Regards,
Dana

I should be getting the bill, soon. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 2:23 pm

<br>Just got my proforma invoice for settlement. Sent as Word attachment...

Quote:

MAILING ADDRESS. 03 BP 1O37 COTONOU.
Tel. +229 93 92 38 94. Republic of Benin.
18th March,2008
P/I.No.A/009-08

PROFORMA INVOICE

Quantity Description Unit Price Amount
16 Smoking Beagles $187 $2,992
15 Sugar Mice $27 $405
12 Trouser Snakes $105 $1,260
All includes feeding, vaccination, shipment and miscellaneous
Charges.

TOTAL. 43 Animals $4,658

PAYMENT: By Western Union to Kwaku Amponsah prior to shpt.

ATTENTION. CANDY STRAP0N
CEO - HENSON & BEDGES ANIMAL LABORATORY INC.
419 FUDGEPACKERS LANE
LOWER EXTREMITIES
RIMMING
MUCH BINDING IN THE MARSH
LONDON
W99 49XX
ENGLAND .
Pls sign and send this P/I duly signed, as final confirmation of this order.

Accepted by: Truly yours,
Candy STRAP0N Pastor BALLAS Walas

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 3:11 pm

^^hehe now there is something nice to hang your wall, Tommo. Laughing

Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 3:37 pm

glad to hear you'll be getting vaccinated trouser snakes Tommo. It's the ones that aren't that you need to worry about!

Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:43 pm

Quote:

We only have 3 of these since someone from South Africa have come
for some animals and the price is $1,300 each with shipment.
Thanks,

Weirdness, I asked for 5 dodo's not 3.
Also he went to the effort of googling me a picture, it's not in his natural habitat so he'll have to try again.

Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 7:42 pm

He has three of everything. Maybe there's some psychological reason.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 12:51 pm

I'm so glad I can get some tamed crocodiles...

Quote:

Pastor Ballas to me

Dana,

You're funny, crocodiles are normally unfriendly but when they're
hungry, but the way we have tamed them here they look friendly
to even strangers.
It'll be advisable to have younger ones to be tamed to own.
Brown, white,cream and light rose are the colours of our doves.
Thanks,
Pastor Ballas.

N/B. To get them there either you come down here or send amount
to do all necessary exportation documents after total payment.
=========
from Dana Scully hide details 7:00 am (0 minutes ago)
to Pastor Ballas <[email protected]>
date Mar 19, 2008 7:00 AM
subject Re: RE : Re: RE : regarding animals that must leave your sanctuary
mailed-by gmail.com
Dear Pastor,

How many young crocodiles do you have left? I'd like three, if they
are available.
Can you tame them for me first, or send me an instruction booklet for
the taming that is required and I could tame them myself? I would
like the light rose doves, please. That color is pretty close to
pink. How many of those do you have? I would like a dozen doves,
please. How much is all this going to cost me?
I will be unable to come down there, as I am in the USA, so I will
need them shipped to me. Do you think they will arrive before my
husband's birthday on June 1st? I'd really like to surprise him with
these animals of yours.
Regards,
Dana

EDIT: A quick response from the Pastor.

Quote:

Dana,
Crocodiles are playful when well fed and I can give out 4 first
-males & females- the price is $905 for each and can reach
you within one and half month if speedly executed by sending
moneys for payment and shipment which attracts $2,567 together
with 20 doves.
Thanks, Pastor Ballas.

Just feed them well, and Crocs are just like puppies. Laughing

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:04 pm

Geez, all I asked was if his unicorns were Invisible Pinks, and Pastor B is very rude towards me:

Quote:

Get paying and stop delaying and questioning
if interested.

Was it something I said?

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:45 pm

^^^I think he is getting a bit frustrated at his ability to close all his latest deals. ...

Me yesterday...

Quote:

What about the Bi-Polar Bears that I previously requested? Do you have them in stock? I need some urgently.

In the meantime I will take the 17 Push Me Pull Yous (LLAMAS) from your
sister outfit if you can let me have the total cost.

I'm also interested in purchasing one special divine Dalai Llama for an
important customer in China. He is prepared to pay $3,000. Have you got
one available?

Received from Pastor Ballsack today....

Quote:

...Please, let's finish one then two, we can't amalgamate everything.
Where is the first order?
Thanks,
Pastor Ballas.

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:58 pm

You can almost feel his excitment and anticipation..
So, who's going to drag him through MTCN 53CUR3?

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 5:26 pm

^^@Mr Wang - It's time. Who has the biggest bill to pay? Mine is going to be less than 2700, because I only wanted 3 crocodiles, not 4. and only 12 doves, not 20. So, mines probably only $2,000. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 5:51 pm

Damn, I really wanted a couple of octopussies. I'm only getting one Sad

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 6:05 pm

He has 13 Guinea Piglets for me. Excellent.

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 6:06 pm

Because I'm so nice I rounded my bill up to 4k

Quote:

Dear Pastor B4lla5,

Thanks for your email. So the total will be $3944. I will round this up to $4000 to keep things simple - please take the extra as a donation to your church. I'll arrange insurance for the animals here in the UK.

Mind you for a pastor he seems gloriouly unconcerned that his animals are being shipped to an animal brothel in Leeds.

What is going to get his attention is this...

Quote:

I take it that you have the necessary CITES forms completed already so if you could send me the IP3 documentation for the antelopes and crocodile I can submit these to UNEP and then get the payment over to you.

Fingerprints, toeprints.. pah! I need to see HOOFPRINTS Twisted Evil

I'm knocking the form together now, will post it later on for people to use if they wish.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:18 pm

^^
hehehe

I'd like to see him get footprints of my 3 crocodiles! Laughing